Dire Desires: A Novel of the Eternal Wolf Clan (20 page)

“Seeing ghosts always got us in trouble with our father,” Rogue explained. “We learned not to tell anyone when bad things were happening in the spirit world. We just fixed it.”

“How are you planning on fixing this?”

“Don’t you get it? This was never your battle. This is mine and Jinx’s. And Jez’s, as it turns out. We keep you out of it—and we keep you safe.” Rogue was getting angry. “Jinx can do this. You depend on him for everything. And then you don’t give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“That was never what this was about,” Rifter said. “We’ve always trusted him. No matter what Kate felt. He challenged me.” He paused. “Now I realize he did it to keep us safe.”

“Yes,” Rogue agreed.

“What can we do?”

“Keep Gwen safe. Let us finish what’s been put into motion.”

“Rogue, this is so dangerous.”

“And that’s why we were spared the Extinction—to help humankind. It’s what we do, right?”

Rifter nodded. “It’s what we do.”

C
ain stayed at the apar
tment that night ins
tead of the Dire mansion. Something drew him there and even though he knew what—who—it was, and even though it was dangerous as anything, he still did it.

He roamed the place restlessly. Paced the floors. Threw the windows open and let the scent come to him.

When it did, he nearly went to his knees. Time stilled and he waited impatiently, stalking the door.

When the knock finally came, his body heated as if on fire. He scented Angus through the door and opened it quickly, yanking the man inside before he was spotted.

“I wasn’t followed,” he said defensively.

“That you know of,” Cain shot back. “You’re good, human, but you are human. And why are you here, after I warned you to stay away?”

“You told me to stay away from the Dires, not from you.”

“Semantics,” Cain told him.

Angus yanked him closer. The move made Cain growl, his canines elongated and his eyes flickered between wolf and man.

“Don’t,” he told Angus.

“Trust me, it’s the stupidest thing I’ve done,” Angus muttered before he brought his mouth down on Cain’s. The electricity jolted between them as he wound his fingers in Angus’s short hair and let his tongue play with Angus’s. There wouldn’t be a fight for dominance—Angus had already surrendered. He moaned against Cain’s mouth, his body melted against Cain’s and Cain would take advantage of this.

Fighting it had proven worthless. Kissing Angus was right. Had been from the first. Now, Angus didn’t seem worried—but Cain still was.

Worried about hurting Angus. Worried about the trappers hurting him. The hunters hurting him. At least they were semi-protected in this apartment. This was when wolves and hunters ran wild in the night and Cain would keep the man here until dawn, at the least.

All for his protection.

Angus pulled back then, sank to his knees in front of Cain. Cain held his breath as Angus unbuttoned his jeans and yanked them down. Cain stripped off his shirt and Angus sat back on his heels and just stared up at him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Cain. Can’t stop thinking about you.”

Cain growled deep in his throat and he dove for the man, tackling him to the side, rolling him underneath him, pinning him there. Angus drew in a surprised gasp and then grabbed the back of Cain’s head, drawing him down for another kiss. They ground their bodies together, all the desire they’d been building up over the past weeks boiling over. There would be no stopping this time, even if the building came down around them.

“Lock me in, Cain,” Angus rasped.

“So you can say this was against your will? No fucking way.”

“Lock me in and tie me down,” Angus said, his tone a beg that went straight to Cain’s cock. “Not because of what you’re thinking.”

Cain looked down at him for a long moment and then he realized, “You’re scared. Of me.”

“Not you, no.” Angus shook his head, then stared up at the ceiling. “The attack . . .”

The attack he’d survived had been massive. The fact that Cain was the same species, could kill him in a second, was something they’d both have to live with.

“Please. I don’t want to run away from this. Just get me through it.”

Cain’s expression was unreadable and Angus held his breath and prayed the wolf would consider his request.

“I don’t mind the fear. But the thought of running from you . . . I wouldn’t be running from
you
. I’ve always wanted to run toward you,” Angus finally told him when the silence became too excruciating. Cain swallowed, hard. His expression softened and he pressed his lips gently to the scars on the side of Angus’s neck.

Angus blew out a soft breath, because he felt the promise in that gesture. No matter what else happened next, he would remember that. And then Cain got up, pulling Angus with him, leading him to the bedroom.

“Strip and lie down,” he said, and he watched as Angus did so, stared at him head to toe, his eyes glowing. Angus saw the outline of Cain’s cock straining his pants and he lay down on the mattress, put his head on the pillows and tried to simply breathe, which was a lot harder than it should’ve been.

Cain moved after a few long minutes. Grabbed a pair of heavy chains that Angus had seen in the apartment the last time he’d been there and dragged them up next to Angus.

“Put your hands up over your head,” Cain told him, his voice raw and gruff.

Angus needed him so badly. He did what the wolf asked and Cain chained his wrists together and wound them around the bedpost, effectively immobilizing him.

His breaths were fast and he shook a little, even as Cain placed a flat palm on his abdomen and the wolf’s touch was hot as fire. And Angus wanted more but Cain still looked unsure.

“What are these for?” he asked as he tugged on the chains, mainly to get the wolf to talk to him.

“Moon craze,” Cain said, an odd glow in his eyes. “I used to have to chain Cyd here so he wouldn’t go out hunting. Do you want to talk—or fuck?”

“Fuck. Definitely.” He’d spoken without hesitation, but Cain still leaned forward and unchained his wrists. Angus wanted to cry out the word “no.” But he held back as he watched Cain nudge him over and then strip out of his clothes. And then the wolf handed Angus a key—the key—to the cuffs he proceeded to chain himself to.

He winced as the silver hit his skin and Angus did say, “No,” this time but Cain managed, “It’s fine.”

“Why?”

“Better this way,” Cain said simply. “You’re safe, Angus.”

“I always was with you, dammit.” He brought his mouth down on Cain’s, their tongues dueling, and soon Angus had crawled on top of him, bringing their naked bodies together. The fear was gone—and Angus didn’t think the chains had anything to do with it but he would be forever grateful to Cain for thinking of this.

Next time, no chains,
he thought and then wondered if there would be a next time.

He took Cain into his mouth and Cain bucked his hips up with an intensity that might’ve frightened Angus had he not looked into the wolf’s eyes. His cock tasted salty, sweet—Angus sucked, ran his tongue along the fat head as Cain howled his approval softly. Whimpered. His eyes had changed and he was doing that glowing thing again and Angus wanted to tell the wolf that he’d loved him probably since the first day he’d seen him.

But he held his tongue on the words, used it to drive Cain crazy, until he forced the orgasm from him.

It seemed to go on for hours. Angus watched in amazement as the thick ropes of come decorated Cain’s chest. He licked at it—it tasted like nothing he’d ever tasted before. Loved the way Cain groaned and growled and writhed. It made him feel strong.

Finally, he crawled next to Cain, whose eyes were closed but who definitely wasn’t sleeping.

“That was worth waiting for,” Cain told him, his voice husky and when he opened his eyes, they were back to normal. That helped Angus relax and he reached for the chains but Cain shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Okay.”

“You know what I’d do to you if I wasn’t chained?” Cain asked and Angus shook his head. “My fingers would be inside of you, opening you up, readying you for me,” the Were said, his voice a perfect melody of gruffness and growl. “You’d be moaning for me. Mouth hanging open. Taking everything I give you.”

“Yeah,” Angus agreed, closed his eyes and pictured it.

“It’s okay that you can’t let that happen, Angus.” Cain’s words were soft and when he opened his eyes, Angus saw the soft lighted glow around both of them.

“Next time, I want you to be able to hold me,” Angus said honestly and Cain flushed.

“Move closer.”

Angus did, lay on top of Cain, his ear to the wolf’s chest, listening to the fast heartbeat. He held the key in his palm, but he was glad Cain didn’t ask to be unchained because he didn’t want to let the wolf go. What would happen after this . . .

What the hell did you think could happen?

•   •   •

Cain could sense the human’s mind going a hundred mi
les an hour before Angus finally blurted out,
“I’ll get the weretrappers off Gillian’s trail.”

“Angus, they’ll kill you. And you can’t go back to the hunters either. Not now anyway.”

“I can trust them.”

“You’ve known them less than a month.”

“Some of them I’ve known a lot longer.” There were many retired FBI and CIA agents who were hunters. Lots of former military guys too—all of them who’d had the supernatural curtain drawn back for them.

“Why were you really there that night?”

“Honestly? Because there were reports of monsters running through the woods.”

“And you and your band of merry men are going to fight them?”

“People are getting killed, Cain.”

“And you were almost one of them,” Cain shot back. Figured Angus only escaped because the hounds saw he’d pulled Gillian to safety. He’d come close enough to death to make Cain weak and he hated being weak.

“When I was with Shimmin, I heard about the hunters. Met with them in secret. Found my old FBI partner. I thought he was dead.” Angus closed his eyes, curled a fist on his chest. “He joined the hunters years ago and he told me there was a place for me in the group now that I knew things. He said I’d never be able to go back to my normal life again—I could try, but nothing would ever be the same. And when you locked me in here, I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That no matter what I did, you wouldn’t trust me. Wouldn’t accept me fully.”

Cain considered that for a moment. “But you think the Weres who are hunters do?”

“They’re in it for the common good, many on loan from their packs for just that purpose.”

That was true. “Packs make their own laws.”

“So do the trappers. How’s that working for you?”

“Why here, Angus? Why come back here?” Cain asked.

“This is where they assigned me.”

A lie, but Cain let it go. “Yeah, okay. Good thing you were here.”

Angus glared at him. “Actually, it is. But Gillian is in danger. Why are the Dires so hell-bent on protecting her?”

“They’re do-gooders too,” Cain offered. “You’re really staying with this group?”

“I see no reason not to. But I’d like us to work in conjunction with you.”

“I’ll be moving to Manhattan with Liam,” he said carefully and felt Angus’s body still.

“Is that what you want?” the man asked slowly.

“It’s an honor.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Cain didn’t want to consider why he couldn’t give a more definitive answer. As an omega, his guard would always need to be up. He could be easily used and also be a prime target for kidnappers. Liam told him he thought Cain’s omega status should remain hidden but it was only a matter of time before his healing power was discovered.

Plus, he had special mating specifications. According to werelore, an omega’s mate found him, and that mate was preordained. His mate would be the one to see him glow and Cain had no other omegas to ask because they were literally under lock and key.

He thought about the beatings he’d endured, the endless whippings where the skin had been flayed and it took weeks to heal, because he didn’t dare show what he was.

They thought he was moon-crazed. Had no idea what they’d let go. “You can undo the chains now.”

He sensed Angus’s disappointment but the man didn’t protest, just unlocked the heavy cuffs and Cain pushed them all to the ground.

“Who did this to you?” Angus asked as he traced the scars on Cain’s back. Cain let him do so for a few seconds before turning back to face him.

“My first pack, before they kicked me out. Jinx took me and Cyd in and got us through the worst part of the moon craze.”

“You were lucky.”

“Very. You’ve been lucky too. How many lives do you think you have?”

“TBD.”

“The Weres are going to smell me on you. A shower won’t help.”

“Don’t you have some super secret trick, like your glowing thing?”

Angus was joking but there was something Cain could do. Of course, it was only supposed to work on his ma—

“What the hell did you say about the glowing thing?” Cain demanded.

“When you healed me, you glowed.”

Cain forced himself to breathe as Angus added, “Shimmin said that meant I was your mate.”

“I told you that you shouldn’t get your information on the supernatural from trappers,” Cain managed to say, but he turned away to stare out the window, his heart racing.

He’d have to attempt to protect Angus and see if there was any truth to this. “There’s something I can try, for both our sakes.”

“Then do it.”

J
inx moved Gillian back into the apartment with Jez a couple of nights later, and he’d left her with Jez while he ran with Rogue and Vice to let off some steam. Since Gillian was finally awake, he didn’t want to keep what they’d discovered from her any longer. And so after he shifted, he took the stairs fast and slammed into the apartment, refreshed by the run. He found her in the living room, curled on the couch and it felt so right to see her here.

He’d missed it here. Missed Jez, although he’d never admit it. And while Rifter had told Jinx that he could stay as long as Gillian needed to recover, he didn’t want to put any more strain on his relationship with his king.

Gillian beamed at him. “Next time you run, I’m going.”

“I can’t say no to you,” he told her.

“Good.” She paused for a minute and then said, “I know about the mating thing.”

“Ah, okay.”

She put her hands on each side of his neck. “You have to know that I fell in love with you. I may have been off the market for a while, but I lived before that. I know what my heart tells me.”

“It’s too soon—because of your shifts.”

“Vice said after the third shift, I’d be pretty safe.”

He blinked and was staring at a gorgeous wolf.

“You’re killing me,” he told her.

She howled in response, then shifted back. Her clothes were in tatters around her and he said, “I’m going to kill Vice.”

“Vice is who you think about now?” she said, and then asked, “What is it you want to tell me? I don’t think it has anything to do with mating.”

“You’re right.”

She nodded, went to grab her clothes. He knew she suspected something. That was the problem with Dires—they were all suspicious, their hearing off the chart and they could smell deception on one another.

Gillian was developing these traits more rapidly than he’d thought possible. Taking to her new role easily. Reveling in it, actually. It reminded him how good it was to be a wolf. “We found something out about your background.”

“About my family in Greenland? Because I don’t think I want to know. I’ve had enough of parents and authority figures to last me a lifetime.” She was serious—he knew that—but he also figured she’d want to know about what he’d learned.

“It’s mostly about your sister,” he said quietly and her eyes lit up.

“I have a sister?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“A twin.”

She pressed her hands to her chest, crossed them and bent forward like she was in physical pain. He rubbed a hand on the back of her neck. “Breathe, Gillian. Please.”

“Where is she?” Her voice was tight, her face pale. “Don’t tell me she’s there with those wolves in Greenland. What if she went through the same abuse Stray did?”

God, he hoped not. “Even if that’s the case—and we don’t know that—she’s young. She’ll heal.”

“We have to go get her,” she said, standing suddenly and he knew that if she started running now, she’d never stop. And they’d all have a hell of a time keeping up, or catching her.

“I know. But we can’t let the Greenland pack near you. You are important to me—to us, Gillian. You have to know that. You have to let us help you.”

She seemed to focus at his words. Blinked a few times and then said, “Okay. I understand. But can you tell me everything you know?”

He told her, and it wasn’t much at all. Barely anything to go on beyond the word of a man with faded memories and a shifting sense of time.

She was skeptical, but knowing that Vice was convinced put it into perspective.

“He’s pretty sharp,” she admitted. “He wouldn’t let himself be lied to.”

“No, not about that. The guy was pretty specific . . . and your family’s hard to forget.”

“But the Blackwells have no knowledge of my twin?”

“None. And the lawyer confirms he never even told them.” He spread his hands and shrugged. “Cyd’s going to try to trace the scent on the storage locker for the guy’s files, but it’s a long shot.”

Gillian was up, pacing now, her wolf restless. He wouldn’t be surprised if she shifted right in the middle of the living room, but she held it together. Didn’t ask to go outside, although at points, she stopped in front of the large picture window, raised her palms to press against the pane, put her cheek there as if feeling the sun through the glass.

Maybe that’s what she did when she was at the psych hospital, he thought. She’d been held back for so long.

“Want to tell me what you’re thinking?” he asked.

“She’s out there, shifting for the first time. Alone. Scared . . .” Gillian put her hand to her throat and didn’t finish the thought.

Jinx didn’t know what to say, because she was right. Stray would probably have to check into unexplained animal maulings but that would be no comfort to know that, at this rate, they were more than likely to find her sister through a murder report.

“Shouldn’t I feel her, the way you do Rogue?” she asked, just as Cain let himself into the house, carrying bags of food and some beer and soda.

“Who’s the beer for?” Jinx asked Cain, who pointed to himself, and then Jinx answered her, “We grew up together. Slept in the same bed as infants.”

“But how does it happen? How do you call for him?” she persisted as Cain cracked the first can and chugged.

“It’s just . . . I’ve never had to think about it before,” he admitted, even as he cast a worried glance in Cain’s direction and wondered what the hell was going on. “Rogue can tell if I’m in pain. If I’m upset, nervous, unhappy. It’s not like a psychic prediction. I’ll just feel it and I’ll know it’s his feeling.”

“So say I’m happy and get an odd nervous feeling for no reason?” she asked the unfinished thought and he agreed. “Could be your twin. But it won’t help you to locate her.”

“Cyd and I can pass messages to each other in our minds,” Cain offered, after a loud burp. “Sorry.” But he continued chugging the beer, wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and, Christ, this was going to be another long night.

“Seriously? And you never thought to mention that you communicate telepathically?” Jinx asked.

“I thought you and Rogue could do it too,” Cain explained and Jinx wondered if it had something to do with the omega thing. He rubbed his head, then instructed Cain to call both their brothers.

He thought about excusing himself from Gillian for a second but hell, she’d hear it anyway and it’s not like they needed to hide things from another Dire.

“They’re on their way in,” Cain confirmed. “They were together anyway.”

“Before they get here, want to discuss what’s bothering the shit out of you?”

“No,” Cain said pointedly and opened another beer. “Maybe I should call them and tell them to bring more beer.”

“Or maybe you could answer my question.” Jinx eyed him steadily.

“Angus Young saved Gillian.”

“The guy from AC/DC was in the woods?” she asked, and Cain said, “I kind of love that you know who he is.”

“Are you kidding? I love their music,” she said with the first smile he’d seen all afternoon.

“Okay, hold up. Before you two bond over your love of classic rock, Cain’s talking about an FBI agent.”

“Former,” Cain said. “He’s a hunter now.”

“And don’t hunters hunt . . . us?” Gillian asked.

“It’s really goddamned complicated,” Cain told her as he went to fiddle with the incredibly complicated sound system Jez had installed in here before the opening strains of “Let There Be Rock” rang out overhead. “Want a beer?”

“Yes!” She accepted one and they knocked their cans together and he half expected them to break out lighters and sway together to the song.

But hey, it got her mind momentarily off the heaviness. Cain had a gift for shit like that and Jinx forgot how much he appreciated it. Realized how much he missed that, missed him and Cyd too.

“Cain, do you want to explain . . . about Angus?” he called over the music and Cain called back, “No goddamned way!” as Jez came in and stared at the two dancing wolves for a long moment.

And then the vampire broke into a smile, announced, “I have Guitar Hero,” and Jinx groaned and sank down on the couch because there was no way out of this. If he brought Harm out, this would be an eighties party extraordinaire.

He simply crossed his arms and watched them, especially Gillian, her movements fluid, graceful, her eyes glowing.

He was never letting her out of his sight again.

When Rogue and Cyd came in, they simply stared as Cain, Gillian and Jez danced around making devil horns at the sound system and singing at the top of their lungs. Then Cyd, of course, jumped right into the action and Rogue sat down next to him.

“This is what happens when you fate twenty-one-year-olds, old man,” Rogue told him.

“You’re only six minutes older than I am,” Jinx reminded him.

“I guess that’s why my knees ache,” Rogue said seriously, bent down to rub them with his palms. “Did you call us here for the concert?”

“She wants to know about our twin thing,” Jinx said. “How we . . . feel one another.”

“You make it sound so dirty.”

Jinx laughed and looked out at the group. “It’s nice that she can have some fun. She’s been through . . .”

“Hell?”

“I didn’t say it.”

Rogue shrugged. “Hell is whatever you think it is. I’m not one to lord it over everyone just because I’ve really been there.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Of course I am,” Rogue agreed.

•   •   •

“We’re going to look in
to your background more thoroughly,” Stray explained. “And we didn’t want to go behind your back. So now that it’s all out in the open, we wanted you to be . . . involved.”

“Thanks for that,” she said. The music blared still and the others were listening and the heavy feelings she’d managed to shed for a little while came back. She supposed that was how it would be from now on, until she found her twin. “Go ahead and talk. I’m okay with it.”

Killian jumped in first. “The Arrow line . . . shit, I mean, there were three daughters around our ages, from what I remember, but Gillian could be a grandkid of theirs at the rate they breed.”

“It’s not like they keep any kind of birth records,” Stray added.

“How about checking psych hospitals?” Gillian suggested quietly.

“All across the country?” Kill asked but Stray was already typing.

“If I set up some search parameters, I might get a hit,” he said.

“Might want to check prisons too,” Vice offered and ignored Stray and Jinx’s glares. “Come on, man. Be realistic. If she’s strong and exhibiting signs of violence like . . .” He jerked his head toward Gillian and made the universal sign for crazy by his ear.

“You’re aware that I can see and hear you, right, Vice?” she asked.

“Of course he is,” Stray grumbled.

“Part of his charm,” Killian tacked on.

“Least someone appreciates me,” Vice huffed.

“Do you have the key Walter gave you?” Stray asked and Vice nodded. “Think Cyd could track the scent?”

“This thing’s passed through many hands.”

“Recently, yours, Walter’s and the man who owns the storage facility. That’s three,” Stray said and Vice shot him the finger.

“Fine, worth a try, I guess. But let’s try New York, otherwise it’s a wild-goose chase,” Vice said.

“Maybe both twins were placed in New York,” Killian said hopefully.

“Why so close to us, though?” Vice mused.

“My parents moved to New York when I was five,” Gillian said suddenly. “Before that, we lived in Texas. From before I was born, my parents lived there.”

“Guess Cyd and I will get our cowboy boots on,” Vice said and Cyd did a loud yeehaw that turned into a howl. “We’ll work on that. Come on, Were, let’s go pack for our trip.”

“I’m totally hanging my head out the window the entire time,” Cyd said as they left the apartment.

“Do you think they got freaked out over the prophecy?” Stray asked Killian.

“It said brothers,” Jinx pointed out.

“I never said the pack was smart,” Killian snapped. “I guess they didn’t want to take any chances.”

“I wonder if they’re identical?” Stray mused and Gillian left them to their searches and speculation in favor of sitting with Rogue and Cain and finding out more about this twin bond they seemed to have.

“Even with Cyd gone, I can feel him. Hear him, actually, if need be,” Cain told her. “It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. Close your eyes. Concentrate.”

“Might be tough for her because of Jinx—that bond they have might interfere,” Rogue pointed out and she was glad he’d said that. Because every time she closed her eyes, she saw Jinx’s face. Not a bad thing by any means—just not what she was going for at the moment.

Still, she gamely tried everything they said. They even went up to the roof, because she felt more open there. And still, nothing.

“Just keep concentrating. Keep trying,” Cain told her.

“What if she doesn’t know she’s got a twin?”

“But what if she does?” Rogue asked.

“Do you always play devil’s advocate?” she asked and Rogue gave a wry smile and said, “Unfortunately, I have no choice.”

He left her and Cain together, and Cain sat next to her as they dangled their feet off the rooftop and looked out over the buildings.

“She’s out there somewhere,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself.

“And we’ll find her. Cyd’s a great tracker. If he can’t find it . . .”

“It doesn’t exist,” she finished and he sighed and nodded. “You know, the missing part . . . I thought it was just family. But even after meeting all of you, and Jinx, especially, I was so happy. But something still nagged at me. But she’s what I’m missing.”

“Sounds like it,” Cain said.

“Would I know if she was . . . dead?”

“Yes,” Cain said seriously.

“But if I’m immortal . . .”

“I don’t know if she is. I don’t know how these Dire abilities get parsed out. It would stand to reason she’d have an ability as well,” Cain said. “Maybe you could appeal to the Elders?”

“Jinx forbade me to do that. And I understand why—I want nothing to do with them.” She practically spat the words and Cain smiled a little. “What?”