“You can still change your
mind, you know. I don’t want anything you’re not willing to give.”
Charissa rubbed her damp palms
on her jeans. He sounded like he didn’t care one way or the other, but she
hoped that wasn’t true. “If you don’t mind me asking...what’s in this for you,
exactly?”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “I mean, what is
it about being in control that gets you off?”
“Maybe you better tell me what
your definition of ‘in control’ is first.”
She made a frustrated sound. “You
know what I mean. Is it just the sex? The control?”
He was quiet a moment, a
thoughtful expression on his face. “I can’t explain it.”
“Try.” She folded her arms
across her chest and arched a brow.
One side of his mouth curved. “Okay.
Honestly? I love the rush of it. Of making my partner helpless, making her respond
on a level she can’t without giving up control.”
“So it
is
a power trip,”
she accused, a bitter edge to her voice.
“No, it isn’t. Not the way you
mean. It’s an
exchange
of power. She gives up her control to me, and I
give it back to her in a different form.”
She eyed him dubiously. “I’m
not into pain.”
“Good to know.”
“At all.”
He glanced at her sharply. “Is
that what happened? Did someone hurt you?”
“What? No, it wasn’t that.”
Though she supposed it had scarred her in some ways.
“Then what was it?”
She sighed and turned her head
to look out the window at the shadowy rolling hills. “It wasn’t at all the way
I imagined it would be. He made it all about him, wasn’t interested at all in
what I wanted.” And it remained the single most repugnant sexual experience of
her life.
Dirty slut. Is this what you
want? How bad do you want it, you filthy whore?
She shook away the memory of
him panting the words at her ear, his body pounding away at hers with no
thought whatsoever for her comfort, let alone her pleasure. Oblivious of the
way she’d cringed and held herself rigid, eyes squeezed shut in revulsion.
Dillon made a sound of disgust,
his hands tightening perceptibly on the steering wheel. “Then he was either
inexperienced or a selfish prick.”
She smiled. “Bit of both, I
think.”
“What did he do to you?”
She shifted uncomfortably in
the seat, hating to say it out loud. But if they were going to give this a
shot, she had to be honest about her experience. If she couldn’t have a frank
conversation about this, how was she going to try it again with Dillon?
“My wrists were tied up, and
then he just kind of...did what he wanted to get himself off.” Meaning he’d
slammed away inside her, moaning and groaning in between bursts of crude words
he probably considered sexy but in reality had made her cringe in horror. She’d
endured it with a kind of numb detachment, hating every second.
“He raped you?” His voice held
a deadly edge.
“No,” she answered quickly. “It
was consensual. Right up until his control snapped, anyway.” She’d felt so
stupid afterward.
“Did you even have a safeword?”
Dillon bit out.
She winced. Knowing how stupid
she’d been was yet another painful barb. “Um...not really.”
He scowled, shook his head. “Hell.”
Yeah, not her smartest moment.
She could’ve been hurt or traumatized. More than she had been. “Anyway, it didn’t
exactly make me want to rush out and try it again.”
“Yeah, well, no wonder.” Reaching
across the bench seat, he tugged on her forearm until she raised it, then
twined his fingers through hers. His grip was solid, reassuring. “I would never
treat you like that. But I’m glad you told me.”
She studied him as he made the
turn into the ranch’s long driveway and drove toward the lodge. When he glanced
over and caught her chewing on her bottom lip, she stopped. “I’d be lying if I
said I wasn’t interested in trying it with you,” she said softly. “But the idea
still makes me nervous.”
“I don’t mind nervous,” he
answered, taking her aback. “I just don’t want you scared. The only way this
works is if you trust me to take care of you, no matter what we’re doing.”
Hope swelled inside her like a
painful bubble. “I trust you. I do. But it’s...hard for me. I’m not sure if I
can go there.” Meaning she couldn’t let go fully. Allow herself to feel the
pleasure she so desperately wanted. Yet, here she was, pinning all her
fantasies on Dillon and praying he wouldn’t disappoint her.
“Only one way to find out.”
He was right. Fear never did
anyone any good. Maybe with him she’d find what she’d always craved. Maybe he
could quench the unfulfilled needs that left her hanging when she was with a man.
“Where are we going?” she asked in growing alarm when he continued driving past
the lodge.
“Someplace private.” His tone
was sensual, mysterious.
Her heart did a little flip,
but she didn’t say anything. He drove a couple miles past the lodge and parked
on the crest of a hill before shutting off the engine. In the sudden quiet, he
undid his seatbelt, opened the truck door and turned to face her. “Wait here a
minute.”
The muscles in her stomach
tightened. They were out in the middle of nowhere. She would be truly at his
mercy, with no one to hear her if he lost control and she screamed for help.
Stop it. Dillon would never
hurt you.
He went around back, lowered
the tailgate and did something in the truck bed. Finally, he strode around to
the passenger side and opened her door. He stood before her in the moonlight,
so tall and imposing, those shoulders impossibly broad. Her pussy contracted,
growing wet at the thought of what was coming. Her pulse raced. Taking her
hand, he gently tugged her out of the truck and gathered her into a tight hug.
The comforting gesture was so unexpected she sighed and smiled as she rested
her cheek against his shoulder. Being held like this was exactly what she’d
needed to chase away the unease inside her.
“Where are you taking me?” she
asked when he caught her hand and led her toward the back of the truck.
“Right here,” he said and
ushered her to the open tailgate. She hesitated only for an instant when she
saw the bedroll laid out, but he didn’t give her time to think about it. He
jumped up into the truck bed and offered his hand. She gripped it, then he
pulled her in after him and sat atop the open sleeping bag with his back braced
against the cab.
Spreading his thighs, he
patted the space between them. With a half smile, she started to sink down on
her knees, facing him, but he turned her so that her back was to him and pulled
her in close. Her butt snuggled against the hard length of his cock as he
cuddled her into his chest.
He gently stroked her hair
from the crown of her head to where the waves lay around her shoulders. “Don’t
see stars like this in the city, do you?”
She tipped her head back. This
reminded her of that night in Austin when he’d first kissed her. It seemed so
long ago now. “No.” The sky was overflowing with them out here. It was hard to
appreciate them though, since the erection at her back and the pounding throb in
her clit were constant reminders of what they both wanted. What she ached for.
Tilting his head back to rest
against the rear wall of the cab, he pointed up at the inky sky. “See those
three bright starts all in a row there?”
Was he trying to distract her
from being nervous? Deciding she’d play along, Charissa leaned her head back to
follow his finger and relaxed a bit more into his embrace. He was so warm and
solid, his arms surrounding her. Soothing and arousing at the same time. “I see
them.”
“That’s Orion’s belt.”
A small laugh escaped her. An
astronomy lesson? “You brought me all the way out here to show me the stars?”
He stroked his fingers through
her hair, the motion slow and drugging despite the residual tension inside her.
“I’d love to take you to the stars, sweetness,” he said in an intimate tone
that made her hot all over. “But I don’t want you to be afraid.”
She half turned to look into
his eyes. “I’m not afraid. Not of you.” Not anymore. She might be afraid of
putting herself at his mercy, but not because she thought he’d hurt her. She
wiggled her ass against his hard-on and grew even wetter. “And I’m not sure I
could concentrate on the stars with this distracting me anyway. I think we should
take care of it.”
“But that’s not how this
works.”
That made her pause. “It’s
not?”
He shook his head. Trailed gentle
fingertips across her cheekbone. Carefully, as if he was trying to prove that he
wouldn’t hurt her. “It’s about you. You giving up control to me and letting me
take you where you need to go.” The thought of it made her thigh muscles tense.
A delicious tremor slid through her, hardening her nipples. Dillon tightened
his arms, nuzzled the top of her head.
“And what about you?” she said
breathlessly, already so aroused her panties were soaked.
“If you can give me that much,
I’ll be in heaven.” His voice was deep, full of leashed hunger.
“No, I meant what—”
His arms tightened in silent command
to be quiet. “No more talking. Let me show you instead.”
The beguiling sensuality in
his voice made her breath catch. She wasn’t going to say no this time. Whether
she was ready for this or not, she knew fantasy and reality were about to
collide.
Chapter Four
Before she could say anything
else, Dillon took both of Charissa’s wrists in one hand and laid them atop her stomach.
Her wrists seemed delicate in his grip. Sitting behind her, he noticed her sudden
stillness, knew her brain was trying to process what was happening. Trying to
figure out whether this new edge of helplessness was a threat.
This was the gentlest way he
could show her what it felt like to submit the way he wanted her to. He’d use
his body to restrain her, rather than ropes or cuffs. They wouldn’t need a
safeword this time. If she asked him to stop, he would. Earning her trust and
showing her the pleasure he could give her were the building blocks of the
foundation he needed to lay down for a relationship with her.
She was still uncertain. He
could feel it in the rigid set of her spine. To distract her, he pressed his
cheek to her temple and drew his fingertips across her lips, down the stubborn
point of her chin to the soft skin of her throat. She started to tip her head
back to look at him, but he threaded his free hand into her hair and pulled her
head to the side gently, exposing her neck to the brush of his lips.
He felt as much as heard her
sharp inhalation and closed his eyes to savor that small victory. That first
sign of acquiescence, the breathy little sound of anticipation and building arousal
she made. His cock pressed harder against his zipper, throbbing at the thought
of what he was going to do. She was so sweet and soft, so hungry for this, if
she could just let herself relax enough to enjoy it.
Jesus, Dillon hated to think
of her being bound and helpless with that selfish asshole. He couldn’t undo
what had happened to her, but he could show her how it
should
be. He had
this one chance to show her how amazing it could be when she let him take over.
He’d give her just enough of a taste to awaken the submissive tendencies inside
her and make her crave more.
Once she experienced this, she’d
see how good they were together, hopefully both in and out of the bedroom. They
fit. She had to know that on some level. He’d felt it almost as soon as he’d
met her. He liked her spirit, her independence, and the way she made him laugh.
Her lively personality balanced his more serious nature, had brought him light
and laughter all those months ago. She was the kind of woman he wanted to come
home to at the end of a long day. He knew they’d be good together if she gave
them a chance.
One step at a time.
His tongue stole out to taste
the tender spot beneath her ear. Charissa tensed and arched her neck, silently
asking for more. Keeping her wrists locked at her waist, he held her still,
letting her feel just a hint of his command over her as he teased her neck with
his lips and tongue. She made a humming noise and melted into him, rubbing
against his mouth like a cat.
There we go.
Releasing her hair, he skimmed
his hand down her neck, over her collarbone and shoulder, then back toward the
tempting curve of her breast. The nipple was already hard, poking at the
material of her shirt. He set his hand beneath it, resting lightly on her
ribcage, and smiled when she lifted up, asking for more. His fingers feathered
along the curved underside.
She moaned softly and arched
her back, but he didn’t give her the touch she wanted. Instead he grasped the
top button of her shirt and freed it, pausing a moment to stroke the soft skin
beneath before undoing the next. By the time he reached the last one and parted
the two halves of material, her breathing was unsteady.