Diary of a Teenage Taxidermist (16 page)

Ethan slid his arms around Derek and put his cheek on his shoulder. “Thanks, but I think I’d rather go home soon.”

Derek sighed and hugged him back. “Okay. You wanna go dance some more then?”

“Yeah, let’s go back and see the last band play.” Ethan slipped out of the embrace but pulled Derek along by the hand. He felt numb. Having Derek hit on him like that reminded Ethan just how badly he wanted Robert. This was the last thing he should be focusing on now, with the squirrel project so desperate for all the attention Ethan could give it, but his chest seemed to have changed into lead at the thought of never touching Rob again.

Ethan followed Derek back to the gym where the show on stage was already in full swing. A few guys whom Ethan knew from class were playing a cover of a song Ethan sometimes heard on the radio, and it wasn’t all that bad, even with the lead singer killing the high notes. Everyone was jumping around and dancing to the music, and it made him feel like even more of an outsider. Looking at all the smiling faces, all he wanted was to crawl under the table and stay there, unbothered in his cocoon of sadness.

Derek walked off to dance with his friends, sending Ethan one more wink. That was it. Ethan was alone again, and for lack of better things to do, he walked up to the wall and the table with the drinks, even though he knew it wouldn’t satisfy the need deep inside his gut. He had to be the first gay teenager on the planet to decline a night of sex with a hot guy. What was wrong with him?

Ethan’s eye trailed to the dance floor, and he reimagined the scene before him. The cheerleaders would be little white mice, with taffeta tutus, all gathered around Derek, the little rat in green and yellow. Over in the corner, he could see his nemesis, Pat the Rat, as a big, fat ginger-brownish rat, his paws curled into tiny fists as he eyed the others with a predatory sneer. And then there was him, a lonely black weasel, not really fitting in with the crowd of mice and rats, destined to be alone even if the bright lights reflected by the disco ball under the ceiling encompassed everyone.

He frowned when the air around him began to twinkle, but before he had the chance to react, he was swept by a wave of sparkly dust. It went everywhere: into his eye, into his hair, it scratched the back of his neck where it got underneath Ethan’s shirt. And when he opened his eye, there was still glitter sliding off him onto heaps on the floor.

Even though the band hadn’t stopped playing, everything seemed muted like in a silent movie. So this was his
Carrie
moment after all. Heads turned toward him, and the smiles on people’s faces widened as he just stood there, slowly raising his hands, unsure what to do. It felt like being covered in toxic waste. Ethan looked down at his black outfit, his mole tie, his leather shoes… Every last inch of fabric covered in tiny particles of glitter.

“So you do sparkle at night, Edward,” Pat said in a high-pitched voice from a lot too close for Ethan’s liking. Of course it would be Pat who’d planned this. Who else?

The laughter around him only got louder, making blood thud in Ethan’s ears. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t bear this. It was as if all the sparkles pinned him to the ground, even though it wasn’t glitter glue.

Chapter 12

Robert’s world slowed down. Kelly squeezed his forearm as he stopped dancing, focusing on the lonely figure by the wall across the room. Tall as he was, he was able to look over the crowd and spot the big glittery mess that was Ethan. The stuff was cascading down his head and shoulders, making him look like the lovechild of Elton John and Brandon Lee. The window above him was open and Rob could vaguely see someone backing out from there, so it had to be where the bucket of glitter came from. Deep down though, Rob knew whose plan this was. Pat and his minions were already there, next to Ethan, no doubt making jokes about how sparkly their victim now was.

Ethan was usually the type of guy to talk back to Pat, but now he just stood there like a pile of glittery misery, with his lips parted and arms slightly spread to the sides. He didn’t move, he didn’t punch anyone. Rob could swear Ethan had stopped breathing altogether.

He looked down into Kelly’s eyes and bent so she could hear him. “Need to go,” he said and swiftly squeezed through the crowd, snaking his body between his classmates, but his eyes were only focused on Ethan, who stood surrounded by vultures, which were ready to take chunks out of his pride.

The moment their gazes met, it was as if seeing Rob pushed Ethan to action. He turned around, and when he started walking, the crowd made room for him as if he were Moses parting the Red Sea. No one wanted to get glitter all over themselves. It was fun in limited quantities, but Robert didn’t even want to start imagining how long it would take to get all that stuff out of Ethan’s long hair.

Robert quickly changed his course, following Ethan through the shortest route to the exit. One of the teachers gave Ethan a once-over, but apparently death by glitter was not a serious enough issue to react, which only meant it was Robert’s call. When Ethan disappeared from sight, he picked up his pace and ran into the corridor.

“Ethan!” Rob yelled after him to get through all the music that was still playing.

Instead of turning around like any normal person, Ethan ran down the corridor, his footsteps resonating in the hallway. With glitter shaking off him with every step, it was a surreal image, as if Ethan left a trail of sparkle behind him just so Rob could follow.

Robert drew in a sharp breath, his legs feeling warm as he sprinted after Ethan. He almost trampled two girls as he turned into another hallway, but he managed to avoid the collision and sped straight for the main door that was still swinging with the force it had been opened with seconds before. A faint cloud of glitter fluttered in the air like a clue, but Robert tore straight through it and ran outside, into the dark parking lot.

“Go away!” he heard Ethan yell at him from a few feet away. With his slim body hunched into a parody of itself, Ethan was a sorry sight, especially when he turned away and rushed across the empty asphalt. Robert had no idea where to, because Ethan didn’t drive anymore.

“No!” Robert ran past him and blocked his way. He was surprised to feel his chest tighten, as he was used to sprints, but it wasn’t the only reason why he only uttered one word. Ethan was a mess. Eye patch slightly crooked, hair out of order, and a thousand sparkles all over.

Ethan gave up on running away and stopped, rubbing his eye. “You hate me. No need to feel sorry for me now.”

Robert stepped back, staring at the misery personified in the much smaller man in front of him. When did it all go to shit? “I... don’t hate you.”

“You saved my life, you don’t need to feel responsible for me anymore,” Ethan uttered and walked around Robert with his eye visibly red, even in the weak lights from the school building.

Robert looked at the slouched shoulders as everything in him twisted and tensed up. “Don’t go.”

“I’m a joke to everyone,” Ethan said without turning around, and Rob could swear he’d heard a sniff.

“Don’t say that.” He followed Ethan at the same speed, not to intimidate him. “You’re not a joke to
me
.”

Ethan passed car after car, walking out of the parking lot and into an empty street. “No, I’m a problem for you. You hate what I did to you, and now I can’t ever take it back, and you think I’m disgusting, and I thought I wouldn’t care, but actually, it’s worse than not ever getting to touch you. And don’t say you don’t hate me because you do, I saw it all over your face when we were going to Herbert’s. Fuck. And my injured eye socket hurts when I cry.” He stopped, with his shoulders trembling and started rubbing his eye again. “I’m so done with all of this,” he uttered, barely audible.

Rob’s lungs emptied, his whole body rushing with intense heat that threatened to boil his brain on the spot. He stepped closer and grasped the front of Ethan’s shirt. His lips found the soft, salty mouth so naturally like they were meant to be there. His heart sent intense waves of tremors all over his chest, and his lips throbbed with pleasure as if all his senses focused on this one place on his body.

Ethan slowly put his hands on Robert’s chest and stood on his toes so it would be easier for them to kiss. His breath tickled Rob’s face, every second stretching like bubblegum. Before Rob knew it, he was bending farther down, and Ethan wrapped his arms around his neck, their lips never parting. It was better than any conversation Rob had ever had. When Ethan opened his mouth in invitation, Rob didn’t second-guess himself and delved right in, gasping at the sweetness of it. He ultimately forgot where and when he was, caught up in the best kiss of his life. None of the girls he’d kissed made him see bright fireworks, none of them came even close to giving him shivers or fueling a violent urge to go deeper, closer. He pulled Ethan against him with a deep sound that he’d never think could come out of him.

There was no opposition, and Ethan wasn’t running away from him anymore, instead, caressing Rob’s nape and back as they kissed into eternity. It was better than a touchdown. Better than managing to make his first perfect soufflé. Ethan smelled like heaven, and Rob couldn’t care less that he was getting glitter all over himself. Their whole bodies joined in the fun, rubbing against each other in the sparkly embrace.

It was only a horn sound coming from a few streets farther that made Rob pull away. He tried to catch his breath, looking straight into that lovely, one-eyed face. Like a disco-pirate. He stroked some of the glitter over Ethan’s cheeks with his thumbs and smiled at him, overcome with joy. “Let’s leave.”

Ethan nodded, the sparkle of glitter reaching his eye. “I’d like that.”

Rob let out a long breath and tugged on Ethan’s hand, squeezing it tight, reluctant to stop touching him. He didn’t know what to say. He had no idea. He just wanted to be alone with Ethan where no one could interrupt them.

“You don’t hate me?” Ethan whispered as if he really needed it spelled out. He squeezed Rob’s hand tightly as they walked down the parking lot to Rob’s car.

Robert shook his head, choosing to ignore a group of students on the other end of the parking lot. They had no chance to see much from there, and he was beyond caring at this point anyway. He quickly opened his car and invited Ethan in with a gesture, reluctantly letting go of his hand.

Ethan gave him a brief smile and for a moment hooked their little fingers before letting go and getting into the car.  

“Just fasten the seat belt,” Rob uttered as he started the car, already impatient. He wanted to kiss Ethan again, and the way Ethan smiled back at him only fueled that need.

“Yes, Mom,” Ethan said but followed the order.

Robert groaned and moved down the parking lot, eager to leave. His throat relaxed the moment he drove into the street, away from the loud music, and everyone... he only hoped Kelly would have fun without him. It was a good thing he’d muted his cell phone because he supposed he wouldn’t have a moment of peace otherwise.

“Sooo…” Ethan bit his lip, playing with his seat belt. “That was nice.”

“Yeah.” Rob smiled as they drove toward the outskirts of town. “I... ah... are you all right?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.” Ethan frowned slightly and reached out to stroke Rob’s arm. “I’m so angry, and so happy all at the same time. They wrecked my suit.”

Robert squeezed the steering wheel harder. “Bastards. I’m gonna have a chat with Pat.”

“What are you gonna tell him? That he shouldn’t mess with your boyfriend?” Ethan snorted, but the smile was gone from his face.

Robert gritted his teeth in anger. “You know what? Maybe I should. The fucker needs a big fuck you from life.”

“I mean… I’m just kidding, you don’t have to do anything.” Ethan slid his hand up Rob’s arm and squeezed, as if to calm him down, but it wouldn’t do. No one would taunt Ethan on his watch. Not anymore.

“Of course I have to!” Robert shook his head, looking for a convenient place to leave the main road.

“I don’t wanna get you in trouble.”

Robert frowned and finally made a turn into a dirt road. “What can possibly happen? No one’s gonna jail me.”

Ethan looked out of the window. “I mean, I don’t mind being your sparkly secret. I just wish he would fuck off.”

Robert groaned. “You’re not sparkly!”

“Even you’re sparkly by now. Not to mention your car.” Ethan sighed, looking at all the tiny glitter particles.

“Okay, but you won’t be tomorrow. Doesn’t matter,” Robert whispered, leaning forward to see better. He eventually switched on the main beam headlights
and finally parked the car behind a bush. It was an immense relief.

“What I’m trying to say is that I know what this is, and I wouldn’t expect you to change anything you do because of me. It’s fine.” Ethand unbuckled the seat belt and looked down to his hands.

Robert bumped his forehead against the steering wheel. He wanted to howl. “No, you don’t.”

“What do you mean?” Ethan’s fingers were at the back of his neck, petting him gently and sending shivers down Rob’s spine.

Robert swiftly leaned in, resting his head on Ethan’s sparkly shoulder and buried his nose in the warm curve of his neck. His breath was quickening at an alarming pace. Ethan moved closer and stroked his hair with a deep inhale. For once, he settled for silence as well.

“Ethan, this might be weird, but...” Robert bit his lip, angry that words were failing him again.

“Hm?” Ethan shuffled forward, into Rob’s lap and wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck. It felt a bit awkward in the cramped space, but the closeness was making up for it.

Robert swallowed, looking into the big eye, surrounded by glitter on pale skin, and took the plunge. “I’m gay.”

Unlike Chris, Ethan wasn’t laughing, his face dead-serious. “What?”

Rob swallowed, unsure whether it was a good or a bad ‘what’. “I’m gay, and I like you. A lot.”

“Oh. I—” Ethan watched him without blinking, but Rob could feel the heat of his body rising. “Why would you not tell me? I thought I was this horrible person, molesting the straight guy and confusing him all over.”

Okay, so it was a good ‘what’. Robert breathed in relief. “I kinda... with the way it started I didn’t think it would matter.”

“Why would it not matter? You lied to me.” Ethan frowned and pinched Rob’s chest through his shirt. “I thought you were just in it for the blow jobs or something…”

Rob snorted. “We’re going to college so I thought that it would be easier this way...” He closed his eyes for a moment and pulled Ethan close. He missed his scent so much, and there it was, the intoxicating bergamot on a bed of lime.

Ethan leaned down and gently kissed Rob’s lips. “I wasn’t planning this either.” Having Ethan sit in his lap was fueling the fire in Rob’s body even more. He licked Ethan’s lips and pulled his arm around his own neck. Explosives went off in his body again, and he gasped, leaning into Ethan with his whole body.

“Am I your first guy?” Ethan’s question was pretty much a kiss at the same time. His hair tickled the sides of Rob’s face.

Robert pulled him in, eager to feel the strong heartbeat against his chest. “Uh-huh, I only kissed a few girls before...”

“I know you might not believe this, based on how well you know my incredible social skills, but you’re my first too.” Ethan smiled at him and slowly ground into Rob’s crotch. It felt delicious, and made Robert melt into his seat with a low grunt.

“I know, you told me.”

“I talk a lot, don’t I?” Ethan laughed nervously, and he never stopped looking into Rob’s eyes. “I didn’t think you listen to half of it. I’ve never kissed anyone before either. It was everything I thought it would be.”

Robert’s heart fluttered. “It is amazing. You’re...” He swallowed, unsure what to say. He wanted to say
something
but didn’t want to blurt out any cheesy shit. “I really like you.”

“Since you’re actually gay… Would you have sex with me?” Ethan whispered, his face darkening. “You know, like full-on sex.”

For a moment, Robert wasn’t sure he heard that right through the furious throbbing in his ears, which suddenly spread to his eyelids and lips as well. He was burning up like a torch, and he’d never swap it for anything else. “L-like now?”

Ethan sucked in his lips and frowned. “Well, maybe not in the car…”

Robert inhaled more of the sweet herby essence of Ethan’s and gave him a soft smooch, even though he was getting all fidgety, and his cock was dying to meet that lovely ass first-hand. “Really? You really want to?”