Diann Ducharme (24 page)

I handed him
Robinson Crusoe
. “See if you can string together some sentences tonight.”

He stared at me, then rubbed his rough hand over the cover, as a zealot would caress a Bible. He nodded his head and smiled. “See you tomorrow, Abby. Thanks for the Sunday lesson.” Then he whispered, “Hotel docks, seven o’clock in the morning. Won’t be busy yet, so don’t be late.”

I hurried inside to my bedroom to change my dress and wash my face, to try to ease the effects of the hot afternoon on my appearance. As I gulped down a glass of warm water from the pitcher, I could hear Mama upstairs, walking slowly around the room, getting ready for supper. The only person she dressed for nowadays was Hector.

I heard Daddy and Hector clomp up the steps of the porch and scrub the sand off their shoes on the scraper. Daddy looked like hell warmed over, his beard and curly red hair uncombed and his clothing rumpled, but Hector was creaseless, as usual.

He presented me with a large bouquet of perky orange lilies that he had carried with him. “These are all the way from Mother’s garden in Edenton. Cut just today and sent on the packet! A taste of home just for you, Abigail.”

I knew that his mama had a fancy English garden, renowned in Edenton for its prizewinning blooms. Whenever we rode by the Eden Street house in our buggy, I always saw four or five servants tending it. I wondered what Hector would think if I told him that I preferred to do all the dirty work of gardening myself.

But I just smiled politely and said, “They’re beautiful. Please tell your mama that I adore them. They held up awfully well on the trip over here.”

I handed them to Hannah, who arranged them in a vase and set it on the table as a centerpiece. The petals flickered like flames in the light of the setting sun.

We all seated ourselves at the dining room table. After Daddy’s quick blessing, Winnie and Hannah began to serve the food.

Mama looked as if she was about to retch into her lap. “What is that stench? Is it seafood, Winnifred?”

Winnie didn’t look at Mama when she said, “Mister Sinclair asked for it.”

Mama looked to Daddy, who simply said, “You can’t deny us our seafood while we’re out here, Ingrid.”

Winnie quickly said, “But I cooked extra biscuits for you, Miz Sinclair. Take as many as you please.”

Mama took a deep breath and smiled at Hector. She then reached
for the basket and took several of Winnie’s buttery biscuits. She created a little tower of them on her plate, like a child would.

“I love seafood stew, myself. Tastes so fresh out here,” exclaimed Hector.

Hector, particularly animated, occupied much of the table talk. He told us about his ongoing medical experiences with the Bankers, whom he said were highly superstitious and unusually resistant to any kind of medical assistance, even in the most dire of circumstances.

“They still use herbs, and scoff at any kind of medicinal remedy. One little girl gave a full vial of my specially prepared cough medicine to her pet goat—perfectly healthy, I might add—then came and asked for more.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Living apart from the mainland has allowed them to live like savages. Something must be done to get them acclimated to modern medicine.”

Daddy nodded along with Hector’s opinions, but he hadn’t spoken much at all, except to berate Charlie for dribbling stew on the tablecloth while he ate. He ate rapidly, spoon to bowl to mouth until the bowl was clean, and his whiskey glass had been empty for some time.

I asked him, “How was Roanoke Island today, Daddy?”

His spoon clattered in the bowl. “How did
you
know I was on the island?”

I recalled Ben’s distressed demeanor today and suddenly had the feeling I shouldn’t have brought up Roanoke Island after all. But it was too late now.

I said carefully, “Benjamin mentioned your recent interest in the island. He said you’ve been exploring over there.”

“He told you that?” Daddy asked suspiciously, his voice loud with alcohol. “What else did he say?”

Something was obviously wrong. I tried to keep my voice casual. “He came over today for some tutoring, and he mentioned your interest in Roanoke Island in conversation. That’s all.”

Daddy just grunted and said, “Jesus Christ almighty. I need another drink.” He pounded his glass on the table for Winnie to fill.

Mama cut in then. “Benjamin was here on a Sunday? You should have told him to leave.”

I bit my lip. “Ben comes when he can. His visits don’t always coincide with your schedules. And you’re so ill these days, I think I would always be turning him away for lack of a chaperone.”

It was painfully quiet for a second or two, as everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

Hector broke the silence. “You should have called on me at the hotel. I
am
almost an official doctor, you know.”

She looked at Hector apologetically. “I’ve been wanting to tell you, Hector. And your father as well. I’m expecting a child.”

Hector’s pink lips curved upward. “My gracious! That’s wonderful news!”

Charlie and Martha bounced up and down in their seats at the revelation.

Charlie said, “I hope it’s a boy! I’m sick of girls.”

Martha said, “If it is, let’s name him Benjamin!”

Hector blinked maniacally for a second, then smiled flatly.

Mama looked down at her plate with a wormy smile. She murmured, “Girl or boy, I can’t tell. But I’ve never been more ill, I declare.”

Hector was all business. “No wonder you don’t care for seafood! Well, don’t fret. I have just the remedy for morning sickness. Father uses it, so I’m sure you’ve taken it before. I’ll have my man bring the syrup over tonight. It should do the trick.”

After big slices of apple cobbler, Hector asked to speak with me alone, and Mama and Daddy readily agreed. We walked out to the eastern porch, where just a couple of hours ago Ben and I had sat. The memory of him working over the paper with quill and ink, the way he had stroked the book when I gave it to him, made my full stomach lurch.

We sat down on the rocking chairs, facing out to sea. The light was fading gradually, a candle slowly running out of wick. But the evening held on to the heat of the day.

Hector said, “This cottage does have quite a view. You must be enjoying it.”

“I am, most of the time. It is very isolated, though.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed that. Maybe too much so.”

His face to the dark ocean, he said sternly, “I don’t think it’s a very good idea for you to tutor this Benjamin anymore. He seems to be taking advantage of the situation here, and I cannot tolerate it.” I shook my head and tried to interject, but he pressed on. “Your mother seems
very
ill, your father is never here, and you are entirely too kind a person to tell this man no. This Benjamin is no gentleman, Abigail. You must send him away the next time he calls.”

I cried out harshly, “I hardly think it’s your place to tell me what to do.”

He looked surprised at my outburst. “I’m sorry, Abigail, if I upset you. But I called on you tonight to … I have been courting you for months. I’m sure you are aware of my intentions by now. And it doesn’t make me feel good about my chances with you when you’re entertaining a man at your home, and your parents aren’t even aware of his presence! I’m starting to question your judgment!”

“I’m
teaching
him, not entertaining him. And my parents are the
people who wanted me to tutor him in the first place. Question their judgment, not mine.”

He turned his head slightly but still wouldn’t look at me. “You’ve changed since you’ve been out here.”

I quickly looked out to the dark sea.

He asked, “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? You used to have a certain warmth, a certain affection in your smile when I called on you in Edenton. Your letters were full of encouragement. After a couple of weeks out here, your demeanor shifted markedly. I could not even attempt to guess why. But this indifference to me was the reason that I decided to sacrifice a month of my summer to stay here in Nags Head. I wanted to try to win your affections, if I could.”

There was nothing to say that wouldn’t ruin me forever.

He stepped over to my side and got down on one knee. His eyes were opaque tide pools in the night. He said quietly, “Tell me, am I succeeding?”

I bit my lower lip hard, trying to think of what to say. “I certainly understand your wanting to be assured of returned affections before offering a proposal of marriage. And I am flattered by your attentions. There are many women more worthy of them than I am. But I can’t give you satisfactory answers at this time, Hector.”

He simply gazed at me, his eyebrows knit together. “What has happened to you out here?”

Unexpectedly, hot tears bled into my throat. “It’s the change from solid earth to shifting sand, I suppose. A lack of solid footing.”

He slowly stood up. “I see. Perhaps you’d do well to return to Edenton as quickly as you can. You’re a bit homesick, in my opinion.”

Edenton seemed far away, a forgotten city buried beneath generations of rubble and water. Going back there seemed almost impossible.

Before he departed for the stable, he said, “Think on Edenton in September, Abigail. And perhaps an autumn wedding. The cooler weather will be a nice change for you, I imagine.”

After watching Hector ride off toward the hotel, I stumbled back into the house. I feared I might get sick before I made it to a basin.

To my surprise, Mama was still downstairs, sitting up straight in a ladder-back chair. And Daddy reclined on the sofa, his boots cockeyed on the floor below him. They were waiting up for me.

“You like teaching Benjamin, don’t you?” Mama asked casually, as I tried to hurry to the kitchen.

I stopped in my tracks and closed my eyes, my belly churning the seafood stew up to the base of my throat. I choked out, “I like teaching.”

She spoke to Daddy when she mused, “She always did care more for the barnyard animals, remember?”

Daddy said, without amusement, “Them and her uncle Jack.”

He looked at me from an upside-down position and said, “And now Ben. Makes sense, at that. He’s a bit of Jack, and a bit of animal, all rolled up into one sandy Banker.” I ground my teeth back and forth, and Daddy said calmly, “He should have known better than to show up here on a Sunday. And he damned well should have known better than to discuss my business with you. After all I’ve done for him, he shows me disrespect like that.”

“What business, Daddy? He didn’t say anything about business.”

Mama cut in. “Benjamin has learned a good deal from you. You’ve done your duty well, Abigail.”

“He’s learned his letters, for sure,” Daddy said thoughtfully.

Mama went on, “And now we must concentrate on what really matters. We mustn’t put off Hector.”

“You will no longer tutor Ben. Is that understood?” Daddy boomed. “Enough is enough.”

I bit the inside of my cheek so hard that I tasted blood. I made myself nod as the tiny room spun around me.

Mama smoothed her skirt and folded her hands in her lap. Her blue eyes were smudged under with shadows, but they glittered with excitement. “Now then. Hector spoke with your daddy this afternoon. He has asked for your hand. Tell us, did you receive a proposal this evening?”

I shook my head, no longer able to hold the vomit in. I ran outside and leaned over the porch railing as the hot stew roiled through my mouth and landed thickly in the drifts of sand below. Cries of every emotion, some years and years old now, came out with the mess. Tears fell from my eyes and water poured from my nose. I even felt a warm trickle of urine escape and run down my leg.

I couldn’t hold
anything
in.