Diamond Eyes (21 page)

‘I’m surprised you didn’t mention anti-discrimination laws too.’ Sanchez rolled her eyes. ‘Face it, Ben. It’s on your record as armed robbery, so there’s no chance of getting a blue card approved to work with kids. And sure, strictly speaking, you don’t need a blue card to work with handicapped people because of all the other hoops you have to jump through, but even if you do manage to clear your name someday, how are you going to explain a six-year gap in your résumé? Lie about it?’

‘Hell, no. How many employers don’t surf the net to check up on prospective staff these days?’

‘My point exactly. And if there’s a pile of applicants, who’ll be cut from the selection process first? Anyonewho casts a shadow of doubt. So you should be grateful it’s so hard to find staff willing to work with handicapped adults, and that we have such a high burn-out rate each year. In fact, if the general public found out how many staff have been individually approved by the director-general to work here despite their misdemeanours and other minor offences, there’d be uproar. I’m just lucky that it’s still within the DG’s purview to use common sense and discretion when the offence isn’t child-or guardian-related, or else we’d never find any staff tough enough to work with our most dangerous clients. And not just Mira — she’s an angel compared to half the men in Freddie’s ward.’

‘I know, I know. But don’t you see? That just makes it all the more frustrating for me!’

Sanchez shrugged. ‘You should try it with a shrivelled arm and a short leg. Same problem, different angle. I only look like God’s gift to civil rights activists. If I don’t overachieve for anyone who does dare to employ me, it’s so much easier to make me look like a failure.’

‘Okay, so maybe you do know how I feel. But, Matron, you can’t give me a difficult job and then cripple me with regulations. And you can’t expect anyone who’s been wrongfully imprisoned for years to sit still when they see someone else in virtually the same position! Especially not when it’s so easy to remedy within the established guidelines. Besides, you encouraged me!’

She stretched up to pat his shoulder. ‘You don’t work for me anymore, Ben, so call me Maddy. And remember: we’re both crippled by the same political situation, so don’t lecture me on rules and regulations. After this nasty hiccup I had to bend a whole handful of rules to get you back in here as a visitor.’

She raised her finger to her lips as a signal not to say anything more as she led him to Mira’s room. Ben’s shoes squeaked on the polished floor as he followed her. ‘She’s not sedated,’ Sanchez whispered, ‘but she is still heavily medicated and won’t be able to communicate properly for another hour or so. I doubt we’ll be able to let her go that long, though.’

Sanchez stood on tiptoe to look through the small observation window into Mira’s darkened room. Stripped of all its furniture, except for the metal bench that served as a seat through the day and a bed at night when they supplied the mattress, it looked like a cell. Beside the circular observation window was a laminated sheet of instructions that included the recent addition of a rule stating at least two staff members were to be present each time the door was opened.

Bending that rule temporarily to include a visitor, Sanchez opened the door slowly and signalled for Ben to keep it open in case she needed a fast exit. Then she entered the room cautiously without switching on the light.

Mira was hiding behind her hands and gave no indication that she’d heard them. She sat on the metal bench, huddled in the corner, her knees tucked up to her chin, mumbling and drooling.

‘It’s just me, Mira — Matron Sanchez.’ She paused halfway across the room. ‘I’ve come to see how you are today, honey.’

Mira kept mumbling, her voice barely audible, and Sanchez had to approach a few more steps before she could recognise individual words. ‘Only Ben. Only Ben. Ben my friend. Ben my friend.’

‘Mira, I need to speak with you.’

‘No!’ she screamed and swatted at the air. ‘Only Ben!’

Sanchez glanced over her shoulder.
Now you see my problem,
she signed to him.

He nodded and she signalled for him to come in quietly.

‘Sit up, Mira,’ Sanchez said. ‘I have someone —’

Ben’s shoe squeaked.

‘Ben?’ Mira turned her head drunkenly towards him.

His shoes squeaked again and she stretched out her arms to him. ‘Ben!
Ben!’
She sniffed the air and the tightness in her face faded noticeably. ‘You. ‘ Saliva leaked from the corner of her mouth. ‘... okay?’

Amazing,
Sanchez signed to him.
She knows you’re here.

May I talk to her?
he signed in reply.

Sanchez nodded.

‘Yes, I’m okay,’ he said, moving swiftly to her side. ‘You shouldn’t worry about me, though, Mira. It’s you who needs help to feel better.’

She shuffled around clumsily and clutched him into an awkward hug.

Sanchez scratched her chin. ‘How did she know it was you?’

Ben screwed the toe of his shoe against the floor, causing the rubber sole to complain again.

‘Ben! Ben!’ Mira bubbled through her spittle.

He hugged her closer and rocked in time with her. ‘She used to think my squeaky shoes sounded evil.’

‘I’m blown away. She shouldn’t be able to register much of anything through the sedative, yet that’s the first positive response we’ve had, and it’s not even concern for herself!’

Ben nodded as if it didn’t surprise him at all. ‘How are you feeling now, Mira?’

‘Face,’ she slurred, patting her puffy cheeks. ‘Hard. football.’

Ben chuckled. ‘It looks a bit like one too. You’re still eye candy to me, though. Speaking of eyes. will you let me see them? Make sure they’re still healing?’

Mira shook her head. ‘Ghosts... here. Sorry, hard to... speak.’

‘That’s your medication,’ Sanchez explained. ‘As it wears off, it can feel like you’re recovering from a trip to the dentist.’

‘Shave me?’ Spit dribbled from her bottom lip.

Ben wiped her chin with his thumb. ‘Do you mean
save
you?’

She nodded and a tear spilled from her tightly closed eyelids. He touched her hair and she dropped her head against his chest.

‘It’s a pity I can’t credit your name officially in her case file, Ben.’ Sanchez squatted down beside them. ‘She’s never expressed attachment to anyone as far as I’m aware. Only violence.’

‘Look, crediting me isn’t important. If you’re going to note anything on her file, please explain that she doesn’t like anyone touching her without warning her first. You have to remember that she broke every bone in her body after someone tripped her out of her treehouse — or, at least, that’s how she sees it. So she doesn’t respond too well to being startled. Year after year, though, that’s what’s been happening, and all those little tensions mount up, causing her to become explosive. That’s my opinion, such as it is. When she responds violently, I think it’s mostly reflex. You might as well hit her knee with a hammer and stand back so you don’t get kicked.’

‘Worth a try. I’ll revise the contact protocols on her door and see how that goes.’

‘See, Mira?’ Ben whispered. ‘Progress already.’ He spoke to Sanchez again. ‘She also needs bandages to protect her eyes in bright light until she learns to cope better, and a window that opens.’

‘The bandages are no problem. So long as they come off long enough each day to allow her skin to breathe. But what’s the window for?’

‘I wondered the same thing. Mira, can you tell the matron what you told me? She wants to help you as much as I do, but you got off on the wrong foot, unfortunately, and it’ll take both of you cooperating to fix it.’

‘Bree... breeze,’ Mira slurred. ‘Smells like...free...freedom.’

Sanchez shook her head. ‘I can’t risk letting you escape, Mira. We both know that you’re very much smarter than you sound when you’re medicated. At this stage, you’ll have to trust me that it’s for the best.’

Also,
she signed to Ben,
I’ll have to wait until I’m sure she won’t break the glass to slit her wrists or use the shards as a weapon.

‘We can appreciate that, can’t we, Mira?’ Ben said. ‘Maybe a window can be one of your first big rewards in a week or two, and in the meantime I’ll bring you a fan.’

‘You can’t do that yet either,’ Sanchez replied.
Same reason. She may hurt herself.
‘But I can arrange for a plastic bucket of flowers each day. Would that be okay?’

‘Brown... brown flowers.’

‘You want dead flowers?’ asked Sanchez.

‘She means the brown boronias from the hedge at the front gate,’ Ben said. ‘Only a small percentage of people can smell them, and apparently Mira’s one of them.’

‘Oh, okay. Well,’ Sanchez conceded, ‘I’ll make sure she gets a nice assortment every day, so long as she promises not to do anything naughty with them.’

‘P-promise,’ Mira stuttered.

‘And no drugs on the days I visit,’ Ben added.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Starting now,’ he insisted.

‘Visit?’ Mira asked. ‘Not wor... working?’

‘Unfortunately, he’s not allowed to work here anymore, Mira,’ Sanchez said. ‘That’s not my decision. It comes from much higher up.’

‘No!’ Mira clung tighter to him. ‘Has to stay! Only Ben! He prom. promised!’

‘And you know I don’t break promises,’ Ben said. ‘So stop worrying.’

Mira nodded timidly, but her face revealed lingering worry and confusion.

See that?
Sanchez signed.
She’s cunning. Even drugged, she’s mimicking childlike behaviour to get her own way.

Or perhaps she retreats into it when she feels threatened?
he replied.

‘What... what’s happening?’ Mira asked.

‘Nothing,’ Ben said. ‘Matron Sanchez is trying to be kind to you. She’s already been especially kind by letting me come to visit. Do you remember how we smuggled you past the guard in the boot of my car?’

She nodded.

‘Well, Matron Sanchez is sort of smuggling me in.’

Mira’s expression changed momentarily, and slowly, hesitantly, she let go of Ben with one hand and held it open towards Sanchez as a timid invitation to touch her.

Impressed but cautious, Sanchez stretched to accept it with her good hand. ‘You’re welcome,’ she said, relaxing a little as she realised that Mira’s gratitude was genuine. ‘I really do want to help you, Mira.’

‘Help me. go home?’

‘Yes, of course I want you to find a happy home.’

‘My home.
My
home!’ Mira insisted.

‘That’s the goal for all my clients.’

Mira hissed and pulled her hand away. ‘I hear se... secrets.’

‘Everyone has secrets,’ Ben replied, stroking her hair. ‘Even you, don’t you, Mira? You have things the matron doesn’t know yet — even if you haven’t deliberately kept them from her.’

Mira nuzzled her head against Ben’s neck.

‘You may be surprised at just how much we have in common,’ Sanchez offered. ‘I do want to share it all with you though, so you know you can trust me.’

Mira snorted. ‘Noth. nothing in common!’

‘I beg to differ. I’ll show you something right now, if you’ll trust me enough to let me hold both your hands at once.’

Mira hesitated as if waiting for a warning from Ben, but he offered none, so she allowed Sanchez to scoop both hands into hers.

She felt the difference at once. ‘Ew!’ she cried, snatching her hands away. ‘It’s wi... withered!’

‘My leg is almost as bad, Mira. You can trust me, because I’m like you. I was institutionalised in hospitals and orphanages for much of my life too.’

‘Fra... Fragile X?’

‘Infant polio. I’m told my mother drank bad water while backpacking through a very poor country.’

Mira stayed silent for a long moment, swaying in astonishment.

‘Matron’s only one person, though,’ Ben said, still rocking in time with her. ‘You’ll need other staff to help you too. So you’ll need to be more tolerant of them. Can you try that for me?’

She nodded again, but it was a tiny movement. He stroked a tear off her cheek as further encouragement. ‘Is there anyone else you’d like to care for you aside from me?’

‘Not Taser woman... or Leath... Leather man.’

‘Taser woman and Leather man?’ Sanchez asked. ‘Who are they?’

‘I’ll explain later,’ Ben said, then elaborated with his hands.
Steff and Nev used a stinger on her and Mira is hypersensitive.

Sanchez frowned, pulling a notepad from her pocket to jot reminders. ‘Is there anyone you do like, Mira?

Or anyone you might feel a bit frightened of now, but are brave enough to learn more about?’

‘Zhou.’

‘Joh?’ Sanchez scratched her chin. ‘Joh who?’

‘No, Zhou,’ Ben explained. ‘The long-haired Chinese doctor from the health survey.’

Mira tapped her left brow, still keeping her eyelids closed. ‘Zhou has. kind voice. like Ben’s.’

He’s not here,
Sanchez signed to Ben.
Finished tests early.

She needs him anyway. Can you hire him as a consultant?

‘Maybe we could get him in. For an hour perhaps.’

‘That’s wonderful news, isn’t it, Mira? Matron Sanchez really is being very kind to you.’

‘Please call me Maddy,’ Sanchez said, still crouching on her stronger leg beside Mira.

Mira’s face relaxed ever so slightly. ‘Matron Maddy.’

‘That’s right. Call me any time you want, day or night. I live here at Serenity too, so I’m never far away.’

‘You... prisoner too?’

‘Nobody is a prisoner here, unless they choose to be. Some, like you, just need to stay here for their own safety, much like a hospital.’

Mira’s expression clouded again. ‘How. ‘ She coughed. ‘How. to call you?’

‘I’ll let you have a cordless phone in your room, if you promise not to break it. Let’s call it a reward for behaving so well during Ben’s visit.’

‘I can... phone Ben?’ she asked hopefully.

‘Unfortunately, these phones only work inside Serenity. But you can send him messages via the staff, okay?’

She nodded, which was obviously easier than talking.

‘Promise you’ll behave?’ Ben asked her.