Dialogue (39 page)

Using italics. Write a two-page dialogue scene in which your protagonist is trying to make his boss understand that all of the evening overtime he's putting in is hurting his family, that he's not getting to see his kids before they go to bed, and his wife is angry most of the time when he gets home from work. He
wants
his evenings off. Insert into the dialogue italicized words that your protagonist needs to emphasize to his boss. In every scene of dialogue, the words we
don't
say are often the most important ones. In this scene, include at least three lines of internal thoughts that emphasize how he feels, words he knows he can't say out loud.

Avoiding inappropriate tags. Study the following sentences and put the word
right
or
wrong
beside each of them. Be sure to cover the answers in the parentheses at the end of this exercise before you start.

[
1 ]
He nodded, "Yeah, I think I'll go to the game, after all."

[ 2 ] "Hey Brenda," he said with a smirk, "how about meeting after work for a drink?"

[ 3 ] "You don't really think I'm going to answer that, do you?" she smiled.

[ 4 ] "I can't do that." Brenda laughed. "I might actually look like I know what I'm doing."

[ 5 ] "I can't do that," she said, laughing, "I might actually look like I know what I'm doing."

(Answers: 1. Wrong: period after nodded; 2. Right; 3. Wrong: capital S; 4. Right; 5. Right)

Positioning tags. Go through a story you've written, focusing on where you positioned your tags. Change as many of them as you can to action or the protagonist's internal thoughts. If you have to use said, position it at the end of the first line of dialogue in most cases, though sometimes you may want to vary this, especially if you have a lot of lines where you choose to use said instead of an action or a thought.

Handling phone conversations. Write one page of telephone dialogue. Let there be something at stake, something the viewpoint character stands to gain or lose. Make sure we hear both sides of the conversation. Omit all hellos and goodbyes.

Humor. Write a two-page scene of dialogue where two elderly ladies are in conflict about which of them should "go" for the new gentleman, Henry, who just moved into their retirement home. The goal in this exercise is to "try" to write a funny scene. If this idea doesn't appeal to you, try another idea of your own.

attracted to each other, but each has a secret in his or her background that could affect the relationship in a negative way. Write two two-page scenes — one from each character's point of view. Concentrate on letting the characters reveal themselves gradually in the dialogue so it feels as natural as possible while being aware of moving the relationship forward.

[ dialogue dos and don'ts — some practical tips ]

"So that's just one of the rules of fiction," I said lightly, ending my instruction for that night.

"Rules?!" one of my students piped up. "What do you mean rules? You're kidding, right?"

"Er, no, well, not exactly."

"Forget that."

"Look, they're not really rules," I backpedaled, feeling horrible for ruining my student's evening. I hated discouraging writing students. That's the last thing I wanted to do. "You know, they're just like, well, stop or yield signs on the road. We have to—"

"No way. Who wants to stop or yield when you're in the middle of a writing frenzy? You know, when you're seriously writing some good stuff?"

He had a point. "Okay, they're not like stop or yield signs, but, well, we need, er, a few guidelines so we look like we know what we're doing."

He finally accepted that.

Look, I don't like "rules" any more than you do, but even more than that, I don't like looking like I don't know what I'm doing. I actually think looking like a dork is worse than having to follow the rules. At least for me, that's true. So I've learned the "rules" of fiction more to save my image than anything else, I suppose. Not that our images are worth a lot, but sometimes we're under the illusion that they are.

This chapter is not about "rules," but it is about providing you with some guidelines so you can be more conscious of the fiction writing process. It's true that knowledge is power. Following are some dos and don'ts that will empower you to write the best fiction that you're capable of writing. I've found that these guidelines also empower me to have a better answer for my students in the future who ask why we need "rules."

When dealing with dos and don'ts, we always start with the dos, but in this case we're starting with the don'ts so we can end with something positive—the dos.

• Don't try too hard.
I've noticed lately that some stars are falling flat on their faces in their efforts to get their new television shows off the ground. It seems that it's possible to fail no matter how big the star. I have a theory about this, because with each new program I've thought to myself,
Why isn't she just being herself? She's trying too hard and the lines all feel contrived.
I'm never surprised when the show goes down; I know it will from the very first attempt.

So, guess what happens when we try too hard to write dialogue? It shows. And because it shows, it doesn't work. As I've observed with the failed television programs, when a writer is trying too hard, the dialogue often feels contrived and forced.

Okay, so we know what not to do. But how do we not do that? How do we not try to write dialogue?

By simply relaxing into your character to the point that the dialogue is coming out of a place deep inside of you that is the character. And yes, since there are at least two, possibly more, characters in every scene of dialogue, it is a little schizophrenic, but who ever said writers were sane? You created these characters, and because you created them you should be able to speak out of the deepest part of who they are. We only distance ourselves from our characters when we don't like them and don't want to own them, and the result is forced, unnatural dialogue. I know some of this sounds like psychobabble, but that makes it no less true.

The next time you sit down to work on your story, try some of the exercises at the end of this chapter and see if they help you to write dialogue that is organic with each character.

• Don't betray your character or reader.
To write bad dialogue is to betray both. How? By putting words in the characters' mouths that they'd never say. It's betraying the character because you're not being true to who he really is, and it's betraying the reader by not writing with integrity.