Devoured: Brides of the Kindred 11 (35 page)

Tess stared at it mistrustfully
when he opened his hand, revealing a long, shiny silver metal tube as long as a
finger but as thin as a hair. Attached to the tube was a silver and black
button about the size of a fingernail.

“Why does it look like that?”
she demanded. “What’s the tube thing for?”

“Basically it is a medication
delivery system, yes it is, yes it is,” Yipper explained. “This is the
reservoir and production unit…” He touched the black and silver button gently.
“It will make a lifetime supply of a powerful emotion damping drug. This is the
delivery unit.” He indicated the long silver hair. “It feeds directly into the
brain stem to stop emotions at their source. People speak of their ‘heart
hurting’ when they fall in love or similar foolish statements. But it is your
brain that tells your heart to feel, yes it does, yes it does.”

“Of course it does,” Tess said
dully. “But…you’re really going to implant that in Garron’s brain?”

“Only the delivery system. The
reservoir will be seated at the back of his neck.”

“But…why couldn’t you just give
him less of the drug? Maybe just enough to get through a few days until…”

“Until it wears off. But what
happens on my next name day, a year from now? Or even the next time I have any
strong emotions?” Garron asked. “What do I do then, Tess? Worry about hurting
you all over again?”

“I just wanted…I’m just trying
to think of a way…any way at all…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”

“I’m sorry,” he said raggedly.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “More sorry than I can say but I have held
back my
dr’gin
for years—I cannot do
it anymore. Not without help. And if I let it out…”

“I understand. I know.” Tess
nodded. “I’m sorry, too.”

“I am afraid the unit does not
work that way, anyway. No it doesn’t, no it doesn’t,” Yipper said gently. “You
see, the reservoir holds enough of the drug for the first day only—that is only
until the production unit can start stimulating the enhanced one’s body to
begin manufacturing the drug on its own.”

“What? I don’t get it.” Tess
frowned.

“It is a difficult concept,”
Yipper admitted. “But you see, the genius of the emotion damper’s production
unit is that it introduces the drug to the subject’s body which quickly becomes
dependant on it. When the reservoir runs dry, the brain is stimulated to make
more on its own, using cerebrospinal fluid and the brain’s own chemistry.”

“So basically it gets the
patient hooked on the drug and then uses the brain as a chemistry set to make
more,” Tess said dryly.

“Essentially, yes.” Yipper
nodded. “The emotion dampening drug is constantly produced, stored in the
reservoir, and then re-introduced to the brain via the delivery unit. An
elegant and self-contained system, you can see, you can see. And one that can
never run out of medication because it depends on the brain’s own chemistry to
make more.”

“But you said they were prone to
failure,” Garron said, frowning. “How would I know if it was failing?”

“Well, you would start feeling
again, yes you would, yes you would. But I will make certain that doesn’t
happen because it would be a bad thing. Very bad, very bad.” Yipper frowned.

“What? Why?” Tess, drew closer
to Garron, holding his arm protectively as though she could shield him from
harm with her curvy little body.

“Well,
because,”
Yipper frowned. “Any emotions you are feeling that are
interrupted by the emotion damper would return the moment the unit failed—but
three times as strong. It’s called a threefold reactions and honestly, most
life forms are not able to withstand such intense emotion, no they aren’t, no
they aren’t.”

“That sounds bad.” Garron
frowned. He didn’t like the idea of going through the pain and guilt of losing
Tess times three. What he was feeling right now was already bad enough—he didn’t
need any more. “Can you guarantee it won’t happen to me?” he demanded.

Yipper spread his long, hairy
fingers and shrugged. “I can only tell you I am the best at this procedure. I
have been doing it for approximately two hundred and forty solar years.”

“What?” Tess demanded. “You’re
over two hundred years old?”

“Over three hundred, actually.
Yes, I am, yes I am.” Yipper nodded. “Tollegs are a very long lived race. It’s
one reason the Collective called us to staff their medical barges. The other
reason is that we are the best natural surgeons in the known universe. Yes we
are, yes we are.” He nodded his long, furry head proudly.

“Well…” Garron sighed. He could
think of no other questions, no other way to stall the procedure. Besides, the
dr’gin
within him was becoming restless,
demanding that he
had
to come out and
soon. He needed to get this done.

The little Tolleg seemed to
understand.

“You are ready now, yes you are,
yes you are,” he said gently.

“Yes, I guess I am.” Garron
squeezed Tess’s fingers one more time. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“Me too.” There were tears in
her eyes again and his heart ached for the pain he was putting her through.

“I love you,
lin’del,”
he said roughly. “I know I
shouldn’t say it now but I can’t help myself—I want you to know how I feel…”

“Before you don’t feel it
anymore,” she finished for him in a choked voice. “I understand.” Standing on
tiptoes, she reached up and put her arms around his neck.

Garron bent down, allowing her
to pull his face towards hers. Their lips met for what he knew would be the
last time so he made it count. Crushing her to him, he made a long, slow,
tender exploration of her mouth, memorizing her taste, trying to burn this
moment into his memory forever. Tess clung to him, returning the kiss
passionately as though she was trying to do the same thing.

“I…I love you too,” she
whispered and then the tears in her lovely dark brown eyes overflowed and ran
down her pale, porcelain cheeks.

“Very well, I am sorry for your
loss but we must get started. Yes we must, yes we must,” Yipper said softly. “I
have a bilateral, lower extremity, full replacement-enhancement scheduled after
this and it cannot wait. No it can’t, no it can’t.”

“Of course.” Garron released
Tess reluctantly. She felt so good in his arms—so right with her lush, full
curves pressed against his own larger body. Would he ever get to hold her
again? And even if he did, would he care?

Suddenly the emotions of love
and loss and sorrow and guilt became too much. He felt his eyes heating, his
blood burning as the
dr’gin
within
roared that it must come out
now!

“Quickly,” he gasped, turning to
Yipper. “I feel the beast inside me. I need the implant
now.”

* * * * *

“I need the implant now—right
now,”
Garron said again and Tess saw that
his eyes were glowing more brightly than she had ever seen them.

Very well, very well.” The
Tolleg led him quickly to a white table with a hole cut at one end. “Lie here
face down,” he said, motioning for Garron to put his face in the hole.

“It…it’s like a massage table,”
Tess said, sniffing.

Garron didn’t respond. He simply
lay on his stomach with his face in the oval opening and looked down at the
perfectly white floor. Tess could tell that his whole, big body was tight with
his internal struggle—every muscle bulged with tension as he fought to keep his
dr’gin
from emerging. Seeing him
lying there, fighting with himself, brought home the truth to Tess—they were
out of time. Garron needed to get the implant right away.

A low groan was torn from his
throat and Tess bit her lip. She wanted to touch him—to soothe him in some way.
But she was afraid she would only make matters worse.

“All right now. All right, all
right.” Yipper was moving quickly. He scurried around the room, assembling the
equipment he needed—which didn’t appear to be anything but a glass jar of some
white powder and the implant itself. He put these things on a small rolling
table and went to get the stool he had used to boost himself up to the high
white cabinets earlier.

When he had everything arranged
to his apparent satisfaction, the Tolleg climbed up on the stool and hovered
over Garron’s bare neck. He pulled the collar of his t-shirt further down and
then, to Tess’s horror, he stuck out a long, pink, pointed tongue and
licked
the exposed skin.

“Wait a minute—what the hell?”
she exclaimed. “What are you doing? Why are you
licking
him?”

“Why, to anesthetize the area,
of course.” The Tolleg looked at her as though she was the one who was crazy.
“Have you never seen a surgery before? Have you not, have you not?”

“Not one like this!” Tess
protested. “Where’s the sterile field? Where are the medical instruments?”

“Why, here, my dear.” Yipper
stuck out his tongue which seemed to be extraordinarily long. The pointed pink
tip split in two and a thin white blade that looked like it was made out of
sharpened bone emerged.

“What the hell?” Tess whispered.
Watching the deadly instrument emerge from the kindly, silly face of the little
Tolleg was like something out of a horror movie. Then the blade changed—morphed
somehow into a pair of long, bone tweezers. Then it became some kind of suction
device—a hollow tube but inside the tube Tess thought she saw rows and rows of
tiny, sharp teeth.

Ugh!
She wanted to look away but
somehow she couldn’t.

Mercifully, Yipper finally
pulled his tongue back into his mouth.

“I told you we Tollegs were
natural surgeons, yes I did, yes I did. I have every instrument I need to
perform any surgery right here.” He tapped his mouth with one hairy finger.
“And as for sterility, please do not be concerned. My saliva has natural
anesthetics and antibiotics in it. This powder…” He nodded at the small glass
jar filled with white granules. “Contains a coagulant to minimize blood loss.
Garron will be quite safe, yes he will, yes he will.”

“I may be safe but neither one
of
you
is going to be if you don’t
get started
right now.”
Garron’s low
growl was somewhat muffled but Tess could hear the urgency in it nonetheless.
“In fact, I want Tess to leave the room,” he went on.

“No,” she protested. “I want to
be here with you.”

“I don’t want you near. The
emotions…” He took a deep breath. “Having you near makes it too hard. Just go,
please?”

Tess swallowed back tears.

“Of course. If that’s the way
you feel.”

“Try to understand,
lin’del.”
His voice softened a little
and he lifted his head to turn and face her. “I just want you to be safe.”

“All right. I’ll go.”

“Thank you.” His voice was
strained as he fitted his face back into the oval hole again.

Tess turned for the door but not
before she saw Yipper bend over the back of Garron’s neck once more. The long
pink tongue extended and the bone blade came out. It sliced neatly down the
center of the big Kinded’s neck and a line of crimson blood welled out.

As a nurse seeing blood didn’t
bother her but and Garron didn’t want her there. And she suddenly realized she
didn’t want to stay. Didn’t want to see the procedure that would separate her
completely and permanently from the man she loved.

Her eyes blurred with tears, she
hit the door release button and ran out of the blindingly white, sterile room…

Chapter
Thirty-one

And directly into a broad,
muscular chest covered in black armor.

Tess stumbled and would have
fallen if one large, mechanical hand hadn’t gripped her arm and kept her
upright. She looked up, wanting to see who had her… and her heart froze in her
chest.

It was Six. His face was
perfectly impassive but the red search light he had for a left eye scanned over
her face, as though he was looking for something.

“I…I’m sorry. Excuse me.” Tess
tried to pull away from him but his grip on her arm was unbreakable. “Please…”
she gasped, trying to wriggle out of his punishing grasp. “Don’t hurt me! I’m
sorry I ran into you, I was just—”

“Tell me of your home world.”
His voice was deep and strangely emotionless.

“Tell you what?” Tess yanked on
her arm, still trying to get away. “What do you want to know? I can’t give you
directions or anything like that—we came from light years away through a fold
in space to get here. It’s not like telling someone how to get to the nearest
gas station.”

“You call it ‘Earth’ do you
not?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, we do. Is that all you
want to know? Can I go now?”

He shook his head. “Tell me
more.”

“Tell you
what,
exactly?
”
Now that
her initial shock was over, she just wanted to get away from him so she could
find someplace private. Someplace she could cry in peace. She could feel the
tears stinging her eyes but she couldn’t stop them.

Six noticed them too. He gripped
her face with his free hand, his fingers and thumb digging into her cheeks.
Tess struggled to get away but his grip was like iron—literally—the hand that
was holding her felt completely mechanical.

“Let…me…
go!”
she gasped.

Six only turned her face from
side to side, studying her like she was a particularly interesting specimen
under a microscope. The red beam that was his left eye moved rapidly over her
features.

“My ocular scanner indicates
elevated heart and respiration,” he said at last, his voice a deep, impersonal
rumble. “The liquid dripping from your eyes—what is it?”

“Tears.” Tess sniffed. “Don’t
you know what tears are? Yipper told us you weren’t always like the rest of
them—that you didn’t used to be emotionless.”

He frowned and released her
face, though he continued to hold her arm.

“I have…a vague memory of my
past. No more. So these tears, they mean you are feeling right now?”

“Yes,
I’m feeling!” Tess snapped. “The man I care
about is lying on a table getting an emotional lobotomy. The next time I see
him, he’s going to look at me like you do—like I’m something he scraped off the
bottom of his boot! So you’re Goddamned right I’m
feeling.
Now why don’t you let me go so I can go
feel
someplace private?”

At last Six dropped her arm.

“I saw someone like you,” he
said, still staring at her with his one normal eye.

“What, you mean a female?” Tess
demanded, remembering that Yipper had said all the females from Zeaga Four had
died off centuries ago.

A faint frown creased his narrow
lips.

“Not just a female. She was…of
your kind. But smaller—
considerably
smaller.”
His hands came up, describing two straight skinny lines in the air.

Tess put a hand on her hip.

“So on top of everything else,
now you’re calling me
fat?
I don’t
believe this! My day just keeps getting better and better.”

He shook his head.

“I am not calling
you
anything. I am referring to the
other—the one I saw during my recharging period.”

“You mean in your dreams? You
dreamed of her?” Suddenly it began to click. “Oh my God…” Tess put a hand to
her head. “You mean
you’re
the one
who’s dream sharing with that girl back on Earth?”

“Dream…sharing?” He said it like
it was an old word—a concept he’d known once but had almost completely
forgotten.

“That’s what it’s called. I
don’t know much more about it except that the Kindred consider it significant.
So this girl—she’s skinny?”

Six nodded. “She is extremely
small and frail.” He frowned disapprovingly. “She looks weak—unable to protect
herself. Also, her hair is long and black and straight and she wears strange
oculars on her face.” He motioned at his eyes, miming circles.

“Um, I’m sorry but you really
can’t talk about ‘strange oculars,’” Tess said. “But I assume you mean she
wears glasses.”

“I do not know what they are
called. Only that they seem to have clear glass lenses that cover both her
eyes.”

“Yup, glasses. God, that poor
girl.” Tess shook her head. “You’re going to scare the living hell out of her!”

“Why should I cause her to have emotions
of fear?” he demanded, his frown deepening.

“Well just
look
at you…” Tess gestured at him. “In that armor—you Kindred are
already big but that armor just makes you
huge.”

“This is my exoskeleton. It
protects during combat and aids in mobility on planets with extreme gravity. I
rarely take it off.”

Tess shook her head. “Then good
luck getting within a hundred feet of her before she runs screaming. That
freaky red Terminator-eye thing you’ve got going on doesn’t help either.”

“My scanner was my second
enhancement after my damper. It has served me well.” The red light swiveled.
“And she will not need to run from me—I have no intention of going near her. I
just…wanted to know more about your planet. Your people.”

Tess sighed. “Well if you really
want to know, we’re not that different from you except we let ourselves
feel
things. Oh, and we don’t turn
ourselves into cyborgs. Other than that…pretty much the same.”

“You say you let yourself feel
things. But you just told me that the male you care for is getting an emotion
damper—didn’t you?”

Tess’s eyes stung again and she
had to blink back fresh tears.

“Yes, he is. It’s a long story.
Basically he can’t trust himself with emotions.”

“No one can,” Six told her.
“Emotions are irrational. They make one violent and unpredictable.”

“Yeah, well…” She sniffed. “They
also make life worth living. The touch of your lover’s hand…the look in his
eyes when he says he cares for you…the taste of his mouth…what does any of that
matter if you can’t
feel
when it
happens?”

She couldn’t help remembering
the look in Garron’s eyes when he’d told her he loved her. So full of
longing—so desperately unhappy. If only there had been another way…another
choice…

“You believe this?” The deep
rumble of Six’s voice interrupted her thoughts. He was looking at her
curiously. “Truly?”

“Yes.” Tess swiped at her eyes
and looked up at him defiantly. “Yes, I do. Emotions hurt sometimes but they’re
also a beautiful thing. They let you care for someone other than yourself. They
let you
love
. And without that,
what’s the point?”

“There is work to be done,” he
pointed out. “There are tasks to be accomplished…”

“Sure, but what do you care if
any of it gets done? If anything gets accomplished? If—” Tess shook her head in
disgust. “Never mind. It’s like trying to explain a rainbow to someone who’s
color blind.”

He shook his head. “I don’t
understand.”

“My point exactly.” She sighed.
“Look, I don’t want to talk anymore. Just do that poor girl back on Earth a
favor and stay as far from her as you can.”

“As I said, I have no intention
of going to her,” he said stiffly.

“Good. I—”

“Now then, now then—we’re all
finished. Yes we are, yes we are.”

Yipper’s high voice interrupted
her and Tess turned to see him leading Garron by the hand. The big Kindred had
a blank look on his face that made Tess’s heart thump painfully. She knew he
probably felt nothing for her now but she went to him anyway.

“Garron, honey?” She put a hand
on his arm. “Are you okay?”

“I am well.” He looked at her
hand as though wondering why she was touching him.

“He is still adjusting to the
drug. Yes he is, yes he is,” Yipper said soothingly. “He will be fine by the
end of this solar day when his brain starts manufacturing it on its own.”

“The end of the day?” Tess
frowned. “But…I thought we were going back to Earth. Are we staying another
night?”

“Of course not.” A faint frown,
much like Six’s, creased the corners of Garron’s generous mouth. “I am
perfectly fit to pilot a ship.”

“Really?” Tess looked at Yipper for
confirmation. “Because I know back on my planet they don’t want you driving a
car for a couple of days after a major operation—let alone piloting a freaking
space ship thousands of light years across the galaxy.”

“He should be fine. Yes he
should, yes he should,” the little Tolleg said, nodding. “In fact, he will be a
better pilot now than he was before.”

“Emotions cloud judgment,” Six,
who had been standing there silently, put in. “Piloting is much safer without
them.”

“Yeah,
right,”
Tess muttered. She felt like crying again but she didn’t
want to do it in front of Six—the big asshole. She knew it wasn’t rational but
she almost hated him right now. Probably because she couldn’t bring herself to
direct her hatred towards Garron, who was now just as emotionless as the Dark
Kindred.

“A few post-op instructions.”
Yipper held up one long, hairy finger. “Avoid any situations that might bring
up strong emotions in the next few days. This is especially critical around
during the end of the first day, when Garron’s brain is first starting to learn
to make the drug for itself. Yes it is, yes it is.”

“Why?” Tess asked.

“Once the last of the artificial
drug is used up and just before the first batch of the organic drug is made by
the brain, the implant is vulnerable to failure—more vulnerable than it will
ever be again. Yes it is, yes it is,” Yipper lectured. “In fact, it might be
better for you to stay here. Garron could be put into a sensory deprivation
room for this first night, to avoid unnecessary stimulation. Yes he could, yes
he could.”

“No.” Garron shook his head. “We
need to get back to Earth. Tess has unresolved difficulties there.”

Tess looked at him, surprised.

“You remember that?”

He frowned. “I lost my
emotions—not my memory. I remember the promises I made to you—the vows I took.
I will strive to honor them and keep my word.”

“Thanks but you don’t…don’t have
to do that.” She swallowed hard, hoping he would say something like,
“But I
want
to. Want to keep you safe—to protect and avenge you.”

But Garron only shook his head
again.

“Not true—I gave my word and I
am obligated to keep it. We will go today.”

“All right. Fine.” Tess crossed
her arms over her chest. “I guess we’d better get going.”

“Goodbye.” Yipper nodded at
them. “And remember—be careful this first night. Yes you must, yes you must.”

“We will,” Tess assured him
dully. “Of course we will.”

Six inclined his head to her and
then to Garron.

“May fortune favor you both.”

“Thanks,” Tess muttered. “But
right now I don’t think fortune gives much of a damn for either one of us.” She
turned away from the Dark Kindred and looked at Garron. “Come on, let’s go.”

He nodded silently and they
left.

Tess cast one last glance over
her shoulder as they went and saw that Six was still standing there silently,
his red searchlight eye scanning them as they walked away. With a shutter, she
turned to face front.

Well
at least I kept him from going after that poor girl on Earth—whoever she is.
Guess I did my good deed for the day.

Not that it made her feel any
better. Looking up to see that blank, uncaring expression on Garron’s face made
her feel like she would never feel better again.