Devotion (7 page)

Tristan laid his hand on mine, and I took his and squeezed it hard. I couldn't breathe. My vision swam.
I have to get out of here. Now!
I knew there was a way to escape, but the
how
wasn't coming to mind. My brain lost all function as it remained stuck on those five words. I looked at Tristan with desperation. He nodded and took me in his arms. The air whooshed out of my lungs and the meeting room disappeared.

We appeared in our suite at the mansion, and I sucked in a lungful of oxygen and fell to my knees. My heart still raced and my body still shook. And my mind still reeled.

"Holy … shit," I whispered between pants. "Holy.
Shit
."

Tristan sat on the bed in front of me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and studied my face.

"You heard something?" he asked. I nodded, slowly, my eyes bugging. "What?"

We already have the girl.
The words echoed in my head.

Before I could share them, though, a
pop
came from the sitting room. I froze.
What had we left behind?
I'd lost all control at the end. I might have shared everything I'd been hearing with everyone else. If whoever had blocked Rina–the traitor–knew I'd heard that thought and came after me … but no. Tristan didn't hear what I heard. And I recognized the familiar scent in the front room.

"Owen," Tristan and I both said as my protector appeared in the open doorway to the bedroom.

"At your service," he said. "Is everything okay?"

"Do they know anything?" Tristan asked.

Owen shook his head. "Sophia told them Alexis gets all whacked out about the next daughter and she probably needed air." He peered at me and then Tristan. "Well, not those exact words. I think she said, 'especially sensitive.' So … what happened?"

Tristan studied my face and must have seen I wanted to tell him first. Alone. "Guard the door," he told Owen. "Just in case."

Owen narrowed his eyes for a brief moment, but then he shrugged and disappeared to stand outside the door to our suite. Tristan turned back to me.

"So?" he asked.

I stared at him, suddenly unable to say it. Unable to put the words in the right order. Unable to
believe
them. Owen's appearance and the threat of the traitor had been enough to distract me from the urgency of the actual words. From the reality of hearing them.

"Tristan …" I started. I swallowed, hard, my throat dry and tight. "We … we might already have … a daughter."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Explain."

I recalled the chaos of the meeting, everyone yelling aloud and in their heads and how I heard all of it. The energy and urgency returned in full force. I sprang to my feet and paced while rehashing for him everything I'd heard … including how it had sounded as though we already had a daughter and someone kept her hidden from us. By the time I finished, he was shaking his head.

"That's absurd, Alexis. No one on the council would have done that."

I stopped pacing and put my hands on my hips.

"I know what I heard. Would you ever think anyone on the council would be a traitor in the first place? Of course not! But that's exactly why I was listening."

"But hiding a daughter … what would be the point?"

"You tell me. You're the great seer of the best solution to everything."

He leaned his elbows on his knees and pressed his hands together, resting his chin on the steeple his fingers formed. He sat silently for a moment, his eyes far off as he considered the options.

"I guess it would make sense," he finally said, "to keep her safe. If the Amadis weren't aware of her, then the Daemoni wouldn't be either. But it's impossible. Rina and Sophia would know."

He was right. Although I'd had a difficult time giving birth to Dorian, actually passed out for part of it, Mom and Rina had been present the whole time. I thought they had been, anyway.

"What if they stepped out of the room while I was out of it? What if someone else flashed in there?"

Tristan shook his head again. "They would have been too protective. They wouldn't have left you. And that's not entirely what I meant. Rina would have heard someone's thoughts about it. Sophia would have felt the truth there was already a daughter."

I paced again as I considered this and stopped in front of Tristan. "But if they can block Rina's telepathy, they might be able to block Mom's power, too."

We stared into each other's eyes as we continued to consider this possibility. Mine filled with tears.
What if I do have a daughter?
She'd been out there for seven years without me, someone else raising her.
Did she know about us–her parents, her twin brother? Who took care of her? How did they treat her?
Do they love her?
The tears fell.

Tristan took my hands and pulled me into his arms. I fell into his lap. "Don't cry, Lexi. If it's even true, it's good news. But we don't know if it's true. His thought wasn't that specific, right?"

"Hers," I corrected.

"Hers what?"

"
Her
thought. It was a female voice."

"Well, that narrows it down. The only female mages on the council are Minh, Galina and Charlotte."

"It definitely wasn't Charlotte."

"I wouldn't expect so. Of course, I wouldn't expect any of this. You're sure that's what you heard?" His hazel eyes pierced into mine as if he expected I'd suddenly give a different answer.

"Yes. 'Of course Alexis won't have a daughter. We already have the girl. We just need to keep her hidden …' And then the thought trailed off."

"Trailed off or you lost it?"

I considered his question and realized I wasn't exactly sure. I'd been quite upset by then, so I may not have heard the rest.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"So maybe there was more … something that explains it better."

"And what could that be? It sounds pretty clear to me."

Tristan blew out a heavy breath of frustration. He had no answer.

"What if she's out there, Tristan? What if we have a daughter after all this time?"

He squeezed me tighter against him. "Then we find her."

I nodded.
Yes, we would certainly find her
.

Though Mom, Rina and Solomon were among the most graceful people on the planet, I could hear the whispers of their footsteps coming down the hall. The meeting must have ended. There was a soft knock on the front door of our suite, then they all, along with Owen, entered. I quickly moved out of Tristan's lap to sit in the middle of the bed against the pillows. Mom and Rina sat next to me, on the other side from Tristan, and Solomon and Owen stood at the end.

Rina took my hand. "What did you hear, my darling?"

I inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly. Then I told them.

"That's ridiculous!" Mom said.

"Impossible," Rina added. "We would know."

Tristan and I explained all the reasoning we'd already considered.

"We were there for the entire birth," Rina said. "No one else was close."

"You're absolutely sure?" I asked. "Not even a brief moment, when someone could have flashed in and out?"

"We would figure out you'd had another baby, though," Mom said. "And it would have to be longer than a moment. Long enough for you to give birth and them to cut the cord and then flash–
with
someone in their arms, which only Tristan can do–without Rina or me knowing."

"I also had the house shielded," Owen added. "There's no one powerful enough to break my shields … except maybe sorcerers.
Maybe.
"

Solomon rocked back on his heels. "We have no sorcerers, so it would have to be Daemoni."

Everyone fell silent. I guess because I was allowed to be ignorant, I asked the question they all had to be thinking.

"Could there be Daemoni on the council?"

Everyone stared at me as if I were crazy. Okay, maybe they weren't thinking the same thing.

"Of course not," Rina finally said. "We all have senses for Daemoni."

"It would mean they infiltrated us over seven years ago, which is impossible," Solomon said. He crossed his arms over his broad chest. "They would have exposed themselves by now. They don't have that kind of self-control."

"So if it's not Daemoni, it must be Amadis," I said. "And it's not just the video. There's a girl … possibly my daughter."

Rina's fingers picked at something invisible on her dress. She shook her head slowly. "I do not understand why or how this would happen. The Daemoni have never succeeded in killing the youngest daughter. Why would anyone think this daughter would need more protection than usual?"

"And why would they do it without the matriarch's knowledge?" Solomon demanded. "If there is reason to think this daughter's life is in more danger than usual, why wouldn't they tell their leader?"

Mom shifted toward me. "Honey, are you sure that's what you heard? Are you sure that's his exact thought?"

"
Her
thought," I said, and Tristan explained it had to have been Minh or Galina.

Mom's shoulders relaxed as she let out a breath she may have been holding since I first broke the news. Solomon dropped his arms to his sides. And Rina laughed. I think it was the first time I ever heard her laugh.

"That cannot be right," she said, a new, almost joyful tone to her voice. "Their thoughts are always completely clear to me. I know what they are thinking before they do. They have no desire to block me, even if they could. It cannot possibly be them."

"Charlotte is the only other female Mage," Tristan pointed out.

Owen leaned forward and glared at us. "If you think–"

Tristan held up his hand, shaking his head. "Of course not, Owen."

"Your family is like our own," Rina said.

"It definitely wasn't Charlotte," I said. "I already know her voice well enough. Is it possible for someone else to block you, Rina? A Were or a vampire?"

She shook her head. "They do not have enough magic. Even as a full-blooded mage, they would have to be very powerful." She took my hands into hers and beheld me with wide, brown eyes. "I think we must have a misunderstanding, Alexis. I am sorry to have put you through this."

"What do you mean?" I asked, fearing I already knew.

"I put too much pressure on you, darling. You must be exhausted from all of the recent events and the travel, and I understand this adjustment is overwhelming. You must not have heard everything or the thoughts must have come through distorted. Based on who it could have been and what you thought you heard … it is impossible." She patted my hands. "I am sorry. I asked too much of you too soon."

"You don't believe me?" I blurted, my voice rising with anger and frustration.

 "I do not believe what you think you heard."

"You're calling me a
liar
?"

"I am sorry. I–"

"What the hell? Why did you ask me to listen if you won't believe what I tell you?"

"Alexis," Mom said in a one-word warning.

I bounded off the bed and spun to face them all. "I don't understand! I didn't even want to listen, but you all thought this was such a great idea. There was no point to it if you won't believe what I say!"

"I thought I would be able to listen to you," Rina said. "I thought I would hear what you heard. But you have erected a very strong, effective shield, blocking me from entering your mind. I must shout your name to capture your attention."

I inhaled a deep breath, trying to calm myself. At least I knew why she seemed to be yelling in my head all the time. "Are you sure it's not part of the traitor's block? Maybe she kept you out of
my
head, too."

Rina pursed her lips. "I felt it at the breakfast table. It is you, darling."

"Well, that's good then. At least it means I can't broadcast my thoughts and expose our secret. So I guess you'll just have to believe me."

Rina's gaze broke away, and I knew then it didn't matter what I said. She trusted her council members–the very people she asked me to spy on–more than she trusted me.