Devoted - The Complete Series: A BWWM Romance Boxset (20 page)

“Just like Doc McStuffins?” She smiles, recalling her favorite children’s show. “Mommy is so much better now!” She sings the words to the show adorably off-key.

“Sort of, yeah. Ok, so are you all done with that cone now?”

“All done!” I take the soggy remnants of her ice cream from her sticky hand and toss it in the garbage can next to us.

“Good because I have a big-girl job for you. Do you want to help me go shopping?” Her eyes light up and she squeals in a pitch that should only be reserved for dog whistles.

“Yeah, I help you!” She slides off the bench and jumps up and down with excitement. It’s amazing how much joy children can find in everyday moments. I can’t remember the last time I was that excited about anything, although I have to admit, this mission is probably the closest I’ve come in a while.

“Great, let’s go then, you ready? It’s a super special place that you can’t touch anything, ok? I need to carry you if you want to go.”

She thinks about it for a moment, but her curiosity wins out over her need to be a big girl this time. “Ok, up, up, up!” She reaches up for my neck and I walk her halfway down the block to Tiffany & Company. Brooklyn’s eye is immediately drawn to the counters filled with sparkling diamond rings and other jewels, “Ohhh, it’s like for a princess!”

“Good afternoon, Sir. Is there anything I can help you with?” A poised, dark-haired man immediately welcomes me to the jewelry store.

“Yes, please. My little helper here,” I nod to Brooklyn who is still transfixed by the assortment of jewelry, “and I are looking for a diamond ring.”

“Absolutely, Sir. Did you have a specific ring in mind?”

“I do, I’d like to see your princess cut engagement rings please.”

Chapter Seven

Brianna

“Hey, whatcha doing?” Bradley leans over the back of the couch where I’m sitting with my feet up, skimming a massive
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
book. With Brooklyn playing quietly with her little pony toys on the other side of the room, I thought I’d take advantage of the quiet time and relax a little.

“I want to make sure that there isn’t any food I should avoid at the party. I know Kendra probably covered it with her caterers, but you can never be too safe,” I slide my hand over my firming belly. At almost five months pregnant, I’m just barely starting to show. I’m still not even wearing maternity clothes. It makes it hard not to be jealous of Kendra, who’s little belly is beginning to look like a perfect little basketball. Meanwhile, I’m just beginning to look like I can’t lay off the donuts. If she didn’t specifically put both of our names on the baby shower invitations, I guarantee you that no one would think that we’re both due, let alone at the same time. Still, my belly might not have popped yet, but I can still feel my little bean rolling around in there and knowing that the baby is developing and healthy is really the only thing that matters.

“I’m sure you can eat whatever you want, can’t you?” He rubs my shoulders gently.

“No, that’s not true. See?” I point to the page, “it says right here that I should avoid fish, deli meat, raw eggs and soft cheeses.”

“Raw eggs? Why would you eat raw eggs even if you weren’t pregnant?”

“They mean like in traditional Caesar salad or meringue pie, not like you’d sit down with a bowl of raw eggs and eat them,” my stomach lurches at the thought. Even though my morning sickness ended after the first trimester, I’m still sensitive to feeling sick at minor things.

“Ahhh, gotcha.” He walks around the couch and sits down next to me. Grabbing my foot, he rubs tiny circles into my big toe. I can’t believe how quickly we’ve settled in together. Bradley and I fit like a glove, living with him has made my life so much better. Even though Brooklyn occasionally acts out and clearly favors ‘Braddy’ over me, we still feel like a tight-knit little family. “Have you decided if you’re gonna find out or not?” Bradley nods at my slightly bloated belly. Next week is our 20-week ultrasound and we can finally find out the sex of our child, if we wish. Bradley said that if it were only up to him, he would find out. I think he wants to start buying cute little onesies.

“Yeah, the thing is, I think I want to keep it a surprise. It’s just, there’s so few surprises left when you grow up. Besides, Kendra and I talked about it and we think it’d be fun to both find out on our due dates. She told me they didn’t find out at their appointment either.”

With only two weeks between our pregnancies, Kendra gets to go through every milestone fourteen days ahead of me. It’s been like getting a little preview of every phase I’m about to go through before it happens. Of course, like most things in life, Kendra’s version is usually better. During her first three months she never got sick one single time, where I had my head hovering over the toilet every morning. Her hair and skin have never looked better, giving off that cliche pregnancy glow that everyone always talks about, but I just keep fighting to keep hormonal acne off my face. Now with her little tummy poking out from her flowing dresses, she looks like one of the models for the maternity line of clothes. I guess I haven’t been getting a preview of what to expect as much as a preview of what perfect pregnancy looks like.

“I know you want to get a heads up so you can paint the office and set it up for the nursery, but we can just go with yellow instead.” Bradley avoids my eyes, staring at his hands. “What’s wrong? You don’t like yellow? We can do another color, I’m not attached to yellow.”

“No, Brianna, it’s not about the color. It’s just, well, with Eileen working through her program I need to start thinking about the possibility of sharing custody of Brooklyn. I, uh, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought and there might be a chance that I’ll need to relocate to Florida for that all to work out.”

Florida? Move?
The words might as well be in a different language with how much sense they’re making in my head. I don’t know the first thing about the sunshine state, except that it’s not my home. I’ve spent my entire life in Manhattan, I always pictured my children growing up here too. Bradley watches my face intently, waiting for me to react.

“No moving away! No moving!” Brooklyn screams, tossing her pony across the room angrily. “I don’t want to leave, I want to stay here with Braddy!” She shrieks and I realize that it isn’t anger, but fear that’s making her melt down. I watch from the couch, uncertain of what to say or do. Bradley jumps up and sweeps her up in his arms.

“Hey, it’s ok. We’re just talking. I’m not saying anyone is moving. It’s just talking, Brooklyn.”

“No moving!” She screams again, tears smearing her cheeks. “I don’t want to go. No go!” She balls her hands up into little fists and they tremble with emotion. My heart squeezes in my chest as I watch her struggle with the idea. I had no idea she was listening in on our conversation, let alone understanding it. I watch helplessly as Bradley carries Brooklyn down to her room and listen as he sings her songs and calms her down. Whenever she has tantrums or nightmares it reminds me how unprepared I am for motherhood.
I don’t know the first thing about bringing a child into this world, and these stupid books aren’t going to teach me.
I toss the “What to Expect” book to the other end of the couch, sighing.

The last sounds of Brooklyn’s crying peters out and Bradley comes back into the living room without her. “She’s tired out, I put her down for a nap. I guess I’m going to need to be more careful with what I say around her, I always forget that she’s listening.” He rubs his hand and his eyebrows press together with concern. “Look, I didn’t mean to stress everyone out about Florida, I’m sorry.” He walks across the room and joins me on the couch.

“I’m not stressed about it, don’t worry.” I hope my tone is convincing, but I can see in his eyes that my acting skills need work.

“Well, I just brought it up so you would have time to think about it, that’s all. Maybe the judge will determine that permanent custody here is what’s best for her,” now he’s the one who sounds like he’s reading a script. He puts his hands on my tiny belly and looks me in the eyes, “regardless, we’ll get through whatever happens together. We’re a family, right? And that’s what families do.” I wish I could believe him, but I just don’t know how long we’ll be able to hold our little family together once Eileen has complete freedom again.

“That’s what families do,” I echo his words, but I don’t feel reassured. I know Bradley is doing everything he can to make everyone happy, but with Eileen hovering in the background I can’t help but feel like we’re working against a ticking time bomb. Except in our case, there’s no telling if or when it’s gonna explode.

“Ohhh, do you know if it’s going to be a boy or a girl?”

“Oh my goodness, that cute little belly! You look like you swallowed a melon! I wish my pregnancy looked like that.”

“Kendra, you’re absolutely stunning, pregnancy agrees with you.”

As I predicted, a group of women are crowded around Kendra fussing over her. With all the hands rubbing at her stomach, you’d think they were trying to make a genie come out or something. I stand off to the side and soak in the lovely decorations adorning the room. Kendra has spared no expense for our double baby shower, with a custom made banner hanging from the arched doorway. “Congratulations Brianna and Kendra!” It exclaims. She even put my name first, classy. I look over at her sympathetically as she silently begs me to save her from the group with her eyes.

“Ok ladies, hands off the merchandise.” I interrupt, pushing my way into their bubble. “Besides, why you want to be touching that belly when you could put your hands on all this,” I wave my hands around my non-existent bump and Kendra laughs.

“Wow, Brianna, you’d never know that you two are due around the same time. You’re so tiny!” Matthew’s sister, Tina smiles.

“You’re lucky,” Paula cuts in, “I bet you’re wearing your normal clothes, aren’t you? When I got pregnant I was as big as a house. My maternity clothes needed maternity clothes!” The crowd eases away from Kendra a little and giggle erupts at Paula’s joke.

Kendra leans into me, “thank you,” she whispers. “I owe you.”

Ladies, I thought I’d just come in here and say goodbye.” Matthew walks in dressed in a polo shirt and light dress pants. “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna just borrow my wife for a second,” he smiles at Kendra and her eyes are glued on him. Apparently the honeymoon phase is alive and well with these two, because everyone else in the room seems to evaporate from their line of sight when they see each other.

“Where are you trying to run off to?” One of Kendra’s work acquaintances, whose name I can’t remember yells out.

“I’m not running off, just going to spend an afternoon on the green working on my put.” He answers without taking his eyes off Kendra. They both step out into the hall to say their comically long goodbye while the hens continue to cluck in the living room.

“Ohhh, that baby of theirs is gonna pop out and just start walking down the runway. With a mom and dad that look like that, there’s no way that kid won’t be a model.” Paula tells the crowd of women who are all obviously watching Matthew and Kendra in the hall like they’re dinner theater for the group. It’s hard to argue with her though, when the two of them stand next to each other they look like they’ve been ripped from the glossy pages of a magazine.