Devil's Punch (32 page)

“You don't look good.” Shannon sat down across from me; she and Chance were the only ones who entered my rooms without knocking. “Headache? I guess you can't get Aleve here.”

“No.” And I feared taking a demon remedy. It might affect my human body in some unpredictable way. In time, I would deal with that problem, research reliable magickal alternatives. And I needed to think about the question of aging, as to how it pertained to the three of us. Demons had much longer natural life spans.

“Have you been avoiding me?” That was like her, some distant part of me recalled. Not letting anything get in her way. And I respected her for it.

“Definitely not. There's just so much to do.”

But I had been, because I didn't want her to realize how different I'd become.

“Are you sure it's not because of Jesse?”

For a moment I didn't even know what she was talking about. Then the memories filtered through: a tall, lean cop with a cowboy's walk, tawny hair, and a Texas drawl. But I didn't feel much of anything about her being with him. He didn't belong to me. Never had.

“Honestly, I don't mind at all.” I dug deep for some memories and the pain in my skull eased. “I was never really with him anyway. Not like you.”

“But he was into you. Not me. I just walked into the vacancy.”

That sparked a stronger response, a chemical reaction in my tired brain. The pain blossomed into a full shift, and suddenly I was on the right side of the glass, no longer screaming in silence.
Oh, gods and goddesses, I'm me again
.

“There must've been something, Shan. Maybe he focused on me because I was suitable. You're the one he's not allowed to have without people judging.”

“I'm nineteen,” she said angrily.

With a small pang of surprise, I realized she was. I'd missed her birthday. “I'm sorry about the forget spell. I
never meant for it to last as long as it did. It must have been…confusing.”

Her brow furrowed, as she remembered. “Yeah. There were…fuzzy places, where you used to be. I couldn't remember exactly how I got out of Kilmer. Only that Jesse was involved. He said something traumatic must've happened to screw with our heads. That…or magick.”

“He guessed that?”

Please, let this last. Don't let the queen take me over before I finish talking to Shannon
.

“Yeah, but he wasn't sure on the details. I mean, we knew there were pieces missing. But the harder I tried to fill in the gaps, the worse it got. My whole head hurt and it was easier not to think about it. To move on.”

That was the nature of the forget fog. It had a little avoidance spell wrapped up in it, so that people wouldn't stare too hard at the holes in their lives. They'd just step around them and go about their business until it wore off. In theory, that was only supposed to be a couple of hours; a day or two at most. It was more of a prank spell than a powerful one. I'd screwed it up royally to make it last two months…until she passed through the water gate and was stripped of its effects.

“I understand how it happened and I'm not upset, I promise. You had a thing for him back in Kilmer.”

“It was a crush,” she said quietly. “But I never expected he'd look at me because you're right, you were so much more suitable.”

I smiled at her. “Just because we worked on paper, that doesn't mean it was right. If he'd truly loved me, the feeling would've remained. He wouldn't have fallen for you as soon as the obstacle in his conscious mind disappeared.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“In the beginning, I think he wanted to save me…and there was sexual attraction, sure. But it was never anything permanent. I wanted to give him a chance because I felt like I should, not because I thought we were destined to be together. I'd been telling myself I wanted a normal life, and who better to give it to me, right?”

“He's not as normal as you think.” Furious color touched her pale cheeks, but she was grinning.

There was a frantic buzzing in the back of my head, like a giant fly caught in sticky paper.
Ninlil. Let her see how she enjoys being trapped without recourse.
It felt so good to talk with Shannon. God, I'd missed her.

I don't like it at all,
Ninlil shouted.
I have plans.
She pushed, and it was hard to hold her back. But I managed, savoring the conversation.

“Really?” I drawled the word, inviting confidence.

“Handcuffs,” she said, smirking.

Maybe it was a cop thing. That
definitely
would not have worked for me. She opened up by inches, telling me what I'd only glimpsed from snooping in her netbook. It was better this way, and by the time she finished talking, she was smiling, relaxed. She believed I was okay with what they'd done.

Then she realized she'd never see him again. The smile died.

“I'm so sorry,” I whispered.

“No, don't be. I get it. I don't want to wreck somebody's soul just so I can make out with my boyfriend.”

“Once we finish excavating the Saremon library, I'll put someone on researching a way to connect the realms without a gate.”

Her eyes brightened. “Like a demon phone?”

“Kind of.”

“I'd appreciate that so much, if you could. Just so I could explain.”

“You know Jesse. If you tell him where you are, he won't stop until he finds a way here.”

“I won't be specific. I'd just like to let him know that I'm one gifted chick who didn't flake on him.”

“You think that would be better?”

I considered my father, who I'd thought abandoned us all those years, when it turned out he had, in fact, been taken. Just like Twila said. If I'd known he loved me and hadn't abandoned me, would that have helped?
Yes
, I decided.

She confirmed my conclusion with a nod. “Totally. At
least I can tell him it wasn't my idea to take off. Otherwise he'll always wonder.”

Like I did
.

“Like I said, I'll put someone on the spell research as soon as I can.”

“Thanks. Maybe it won't be so bad. At least you have Chance, right? So what's the scoop there? You back together?”

“Yes.” No doubts, no hesitations. He'd proven himself so far above and beyond the call.

“He seems a little sad sometimes.”

“I am too.”

Shan nodded. “Being stuck here?”

That wasn't the only reason. Better not to explain what I'd done to survive the search for her. The pressure built in my head. I wouldn't be myself—at least not this version—for much longer. The demon queen shoved hard, trying to gain dominance. We weren't united in the sense that we shared a common purpose; it was more like two misshapen halves of a bowl had been fused together, so that stuff slopped over and ran out the sides, and the way it looked entirely depended on the angle of approach. Now the mismatched bowl was spinning back her away again and the cycle left me dizzy.

“Shan,” I said softly, “if I seem different down the line…it's the strain of trying to keep us safe.”

I didn't want her to know how schizo I'd become. I couldn't stand it if she hated me. Or worse, feared me.

“Dude, I get it. I can't imagine what it's like to deal with all those demons, trying to keep them all in check.” She shivered. “It's
so crazy
that your bullshit is all that's standing between us and a hideous death.”

I hugged her…until I didn't know why I was. I had work to do.

Pushing the girl back, I smiled coolly. “It was a pleasure.”

“Yeah.” Her expression seemed sad, though I didn't understand why. “It was.”

I should have seen it coming.

For all my memories and experience, this was brand-new; Xibalba had changed in my absence. I struggled to build, but whispers came to me of discontent. I listened and nodded, and I stored them away. Certainly I did the best I could to safeguard the palace compound.

On the fourth day after my téte-à-téte with Shannon, I summoned Greydusk to the courtyard. “What do you see?”

The Imaron scanned the area. “Broken stones and decaying wards.”

“Precisely. And both represent a threat to our security.”

“I'll have a crew repair the walls and the parapets.”

“Thank you. With your help, I intend to reinforce the protections.”

Athame in hand, I opened to the astral and assessed the eddies of ancient magick. These runes had been laid so long ago that I had no recollection of them. Ninlil first created them, but queens were always named so as to give the illusion of eternity. Purebred demons had long lives, but they were not immortal. Not even demon queens.

“Of course. What can I do?” Greydusk asked.

“These wards are old …and powerful, even in decay. I need to use you as a source. Are you willing?”

That required absolute trust, as it left both of us vulnerable. I could kill him if I pulled too much magick through him, and he could do the same to me. It was a two-way connection.

“Certainly, my queen.”

Though it was possible to form the link without touching, I found it easier to do so through personal contact. And it formed another layer of trust binding us together. One did not seal a palm against an Imaron's without calculating the risk that he would use his inborn drain. The gravity of Greydusk's expression said he grasped the breadth of what we did. The energy came in a sweet, thick surge. I could have done this for days—without a partner—at the Saremon complex. Here, I needed a boost because the stone was inert, not a hidden wellspring of power.

Unexpectedly, the bond also formed an emotional connection. His awe and adoration flowed into me in unsettling waves, along with his magickal potential, but it wasn't romantic in nature. It felt like a worshipper in the presence of a goddess. I exulted in it, but the silent human observer recoiled, horrified by the prospect. She was growing stronger, harder for me to dominate. Soon the girl might be ascendant as often as I, and that would be disastrous for my ambitions. She didn't give a damn about ruling in Sheol.

Hand in hand, we walked to the gates. First, I restored potency to the sigils on the gate, the ones that prevented anyone from entering unless they bore my mark. All of my servants had been interviewed and then tattooed with a magical crest that gave them right of passage. Anyone who came through the gates without my mark died a painful death. Early on, a few had tried, and the weak wards hadn't been enough to end them—just make them wish for a quick and merciful death once the Hazo took them into custody.

More layers of protection against offensive spells. Harmful intent. Weapons. Mind-altering charms. It took the rest of the day to renew the wards, infusing them
with my personal strength. Greydusk was exhausted, as was I, but I'd been careful. Neither of us would suffer lasting ill effects from this day's work.

I offered a grateful nod. “Thank you. I couldn't have done that without you.”

A queen never said that sort of thing to a lesser creature. Unquestionably, my human half weakened me, but it was the sort of softness that roused a reaction of shocked pleasure in my subordinates. It served to keep them off balance, at least.

“It was an honor.” Greydusk swept a credible bow. “There's much to arrange before the ball, my queen. I believe Heartsblood is on your calendar for the morrow.”

Ah, yes.
“I'll be ready for him.”

Once I parted from the Imaron, I used my remaining energies to add a layer of protection to the bracelet Tia had given me. I knew some demons found it odd that I chose such humble personal adornment; I was never without it. Viewed in the astral, the item was layered in wards, and they were compelling, beautiful, with the flickering energies intertwined for my benefit. But they were missing one crucial factor, and I remedied the oversight with painstaking care. I wouldn't be surprised by an offensive spell again.

For the remainder of the day, I read in thick dossiers about how the various castes were responding to my rule. Outwardly, the city had accepted my return. Trade continued, factories produced goods, and feuds ran their usual courses. Beneath the external quiet, though, dire and threatening whispers fomented.

Heartsblood was reliable in his reports. “The Saremon bear watching,” he told me the next morning in my office. “I don't trust their quiet. I hear rumors now and then that they're planning something.”

“Do they have sufficient numbers?”

“I don't know. I wish I did.”

“Is there any word on who their allies may be?”

He shook his head. “The Eshur, along with their servants the Obsir, stress their neutrality.”

That didn't surprise me; they were concerned only with maintaining order. “Did they rule in my stead?”

“No.” Heartsblood paused, obviously seeking an analogy. “I suppose it's more accurate to say that each caste territory functions like a self-governed city-state. If there are disputes or laws broken, borders violated, then the Eshur step in. Their judgments are enforced by the Obsir.”

“Their power has increased in my absence.” In my day, the Eshur attended only to petty matters, too small to be worth my personal attention, and the Obsir, also known as the Hidden, had been
my
enforcers. “Would it be worth my effort to woo the Hidden away from their quiet masters?”

“I think not, my queen. The Obsir and the Eshur have been hand in glove for such a long time. If you fail, it would only weaken your position.”

“Truly spoken. You'll come when you have more intelligence?”

“Assuredly.” Heartsblood bowed and let himself out of my study.

When the knight left that day, I was uneasy. At length, I pondered the implications…and all the data I'd received. In the end, I proceeded as I had in the past—with lavish spectacles to distract the masses. The formal coronation ball would strengthen my power base, terrify my enemies, and introduce Chance as my consort. The plans had been ongoing for some time, and now was the moment to strike.