Devil's Punch (19 page)

I wanted him from the first moment I saw him. But now I'm here in a nightmare I can't wake up from. Where
is
here?

Monsters skitter at my feet. Hideous things that are like spiders, only they're not; it's like they ate a baby's head or something, and they're so hungry. I wish I had my radio. Surely there are dead things even here. I'd wreck them all
.

The bastard behind me whispers low in a language I don't understand, calming the spider things. They back off, permitting my faceless captors to shove me toward the closet. They've kept me blindfolded until now, and I still haven't seen anything. Stop talking about me
.

A hard push launches me inside, and then the door shuts behind me. I land hard, slamming into the far wall. My face is bruised. Blood drips down my chin. Chains rattle as they fasten me in here. My hands are bound, but not my arms. With some careful maneuvering, I get my earbuds in so I don't have to listen to the monsters scrabbling at the door. I won't let them break me. I
won't.

Maybe the music can take away this awful, endless pain—because I remember now. Passing through that water gate burned all the cobwebs out of my mind. Something was done to me—it made me forget. I don't understand it, but somehow, I lost all my memories of my best friend. And then I stole her boyfriend. So I probably deserve to be here. Whatever happens next, I've got it coming
.

I fell out of her thoughts then. Maybe the music calmed her so that her mood leveled out, stopping the imprint. Whatever the reason, I lost connection. Tears caught me by surprise, burst out in a noisy rush.
Oh, God, Shan, it's not your fault. It's
my
fault. Everything is.
I couldn't shut off my grief. The sobs felt endless, and I couldn't resist
when Chance pulled me to him. He rubbed my back, whispering in low, worried tones to Greydusk, but with so much of Shannon's terror and anguish in my head, it was impossible to do anything but weep.

It took long moments for me to cry it out. Chance pressed little kisses against my hair, holding me close. Eventually I mustered the self-control to explain what I'd seen. I didn't share Shannon's private thoughts, her guilt. That was my burden to bear alone, until I could find her and explain. She had to know I didn't blame her for anything that had happened with Jesse. In fact, I was happy for them. My own relationship with him hadn't progressed far enough for me to want anything but his happiness—and if he could find it with Shannon, then they had my blessing. But it tore me up to hear her beating herself up for the spell I cast on them, against their will. I accepted full responsibility for the fallout.

“Unfortunate,” Greydusk said when I finished.

“What is?” Chance was still holding me, but he had a look like he was handling a crate of C-4 instead of the woman he professed to love.

Then I remember how I'd acted before I handled the iPod. Cringed. “God, I'm sorry. The potion—”

“Then you didn't see anything that could aid us in tracking Shannon?” the demon interrupted.

The remnants of Ninlil's power, passed down through the ages, flared at his presumption, but I stamped her down. I didn't intend to let her take over my head again. Now that I was forewarned, I'd be stronger. I wouldn't ascend and rule over Sheol. I would
not
.
I'm Corine Solomon. I run a pawnshop. And I'm going home
.

At least I knew the identity of the whisperer in my skull. I wasn't losing it.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered to Chance again.

“It's all right. That wasn't you.” But he still seemed…unsettled, as if I'd become way more than he bargained for.

I swallowed hard. “That was who I could become.”

“That was…scary as hell. You didn't even see me. And the fact that I couldn't bring you out of it…”

Yeah, I got where he was going with that. It had taken Shannon's fear, Shannon's pain, to shock me back to myself. Yet I had been
immersed
in it. That was more powerful than someone talking to you, no matter how much you cared about that person. But I understood why he felt worried.

“You're faster than me,” I said then. “And you've got the gloves. If you see me going darkside, knock my ass out.”

He laughed then. “You say that like I
could
hit you.”

“And there's no guarantee it would fix the problem,” Greydusk put in. “You might only wake up in demon queen mode, three times as enraged.”

“Okay, so maybe that's not the solution. Let's head downstairs so I can sort through the rest of her stuff.”

“As you wish, Binder.”

After having Ninlil in my head, the Imaron's instant obedience didn't feel wrong anymore. And that bothered me. Chance still wore a troubled expression, and when he let go of me, I got the feeling he'd love to put some space between us so he could do some thinking. I didn't blame him.

God knew I'd like some distance from myself. Only it wasn't possible. I had to live with everything I'd done and everything I was. Until the end.

I trudged downstairs in silence, clutching Shan's backpack. There were other items, the laptop, books, and articles of clothing. I'd handle everything, just in case, but it didn't make sense to sit in bed while I did it; I had to recover quickly. With any luck, I'd find a clue that would tell us what our next move should be.

Less than five days before I had to return to Sybella.

My one consolation was that Shannon had been alive in my vision, listening to her iPod, and the music player still had power. So it couldn't have been too long since they took her to the new location. There had to be
something
that could lead us to her. I'd find it.

Chance took off. Not into the city, but he stayed upstairs, making clear through his body language that I should give him some space. Though I regretted hurting him, there was nothing I could do. I
wished
his concern had been enough to drive the demon queen out of my head, but he could either accept me or he couldn't. I had no energy to spare for reassuring him.

Clearly I had been here for a while, but I didn't remember, so I took stock of my surroundings, inside and out. In Mexico City, I'd call this a town house, as it didn't touch the other homes nearby and there was a small courtyard out back. It was similar in design, in fact, to Tia's home.
Otherwise, in furnishings, design, and building materials, they were nothing alike. Not surprisingly. The Imaron favored neutral colors, tan and brown, and odd sculptures. I couldn't really be hanging out in a demon's house. Soooo surreal. But after everything that had happened to me, my brain didn't balk as much as one might expect.

Greydusk had a padded bench in the central sitting room, so I dropped down on it, opening Shannon's backpack. I pulled out each item and laid it beside me.

Toothbrush.
She would've carried this with her for overnight stays at Jesse's, which meant they were sleeping together. The thought didn't even give me a pang; that door was closed in my head for good. Unlikely it would tell me anything useful, but I'd leave no stone unturned.

“Do you require anything, Binder?” The demon stood at the edge of the room, watching me.

From behind him, Butch padded into view. He tended not to want me out of his sight during adventures like this one. I picked him up for a cuddle and he rested in the crook of my arm, licking my cheek.

“Were you worried about me?” I addressed the dog first, not the demon.

Affirmative yap.

“Things are pretty fucked up, huh. Any advice?”

Another
yes
yap.

“Want me to get the Scrabble tiles?” Those should be in Chance's bag.

The dog wagged so hard he almost fell over. Another single bark.
Yes
.

“I guess I do need something,” I answered the Imaron. “Do you know where Chance's bag ended up?”

While I had a better athame, it would break my heart to lose my mother's spellbooks. Until now, those grimoires hadn't been out of my sight since they survived the explosion at the store. They were, literally, all I had left of her. That old T-shirt of hers, along with everything else I owned, went in the firebomb.

“I'll fetch it for you.” On returning, Greydusk handed me Chance's pack, and went on, “With your permission, I'll pursue some leads on my own. There are sources I
dare not trust in your actual presence but who might be moved to part with information.”

“Are we safe here?”

The Imaron considered. “The protections should be sufficient against most would-be intruders. Don't answer the door. Don't invite anyone in.”

“That matters? I thought it was only for vampires.”

Greydusk flashed a mouthful of sharp teeth. “Ah, but the legends take their lore from us. It does, indeed, matter to the Dohan, the Drinkers.”

Drinkers.
There was no question it meant what I thought. But apparently I had to be dumb enough to say,
C'mon in and crack open some A-positive.
Of course, the way I'd been going, I understood why the demon would warn me against the obvious.

“Go on. I'll be careful,” I promised.

Once he left, I felt relieved. I didn't want a witness to my bizarre conversation with my genius dog. Some things were too weird even for demons. I set Butch down, alongside the scrambled tiles. He pawed at them with adorable concentration, fumbling the letters with his tiny paws. When he finished, I read:

Theres a bad spirit in you

Hmm.
“Do you mean the demon queen?” He had been in the room when Greydusk had explained how the Old King gained his gifts, but who knew if Butch had been paying attention?

Positive yap.

“Could you see her in me before?” God, I felt dumb, though you'd imagine I would be used to this by now.

Two barks equaled
no
.

“So coming to Sheol changed everything. Awesome.”

He went to work on the tiles again. New message.
Its growing

My blood chilled. “When? If I use demon magick?”

All the time

Every moment I spent in the demon realm, the more power the queen gained over me. Soon it might be her in charge all the time and me screaming helplessly in my own head. Likely the demons had known—or at least
suspected—it would come to this. So the ones who wanted me to do something to wreck the natural order? They only had to get me here. It was an insidious scheme, worthy of a cunning mind. If they could delay me long enough, they won.

There was nothing I could do about it now, though.

“Thanks for the warning, bud.” My expression must have been hopeless because Butch nuzzled my leg until I picked him up.

Then he licked my cheek. He only did that when things got impressively awful. I stroked his spine in deliberate, dragging motions, and then scratched behind his ears, which he loved. He forgot he was supposed to be consoling me and rolled over to demand a belly rub. I obliged for long moments, trying not to look too far down the dark path ahead of me. When I stopped, Butch stepped off my lap to curl up next to me. Being such a smart dog, he knew I had work to do.

I put away the letter tiles and then applied myself to the next order of business. I hoped Chance would brood for a while. Once I started handling Shannon's things, well, any wild emotional reactions I preferred to keep to myself. Maybe I could salvage whatever dignity I had left. I didn't brace hard; I just wrapped my fingers around her blue toothbrush and let the images come. This time the charge wasn't strong enough to pull me in.

Instead, it showed a fleeting moment, sparkling bright, like a sunny day at the beach. Shannon leaned over the sink in Jesse's bathroom in one of his shirts. As she brushed her teeth, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Nuzzled her neck, and she turned, smiling. The toothbrush clattered to the sink and I lost the thread.

Nothing that can help me.
But it was good seeing them both happy. It offset some of the pain still swirling from earlier.

Next, I tried the clothing, but there was nothing. Likewise with Shan's laptop. It wasn't the sort of personal possession that lent itself to emotional resonance. Nudging faint guilt aside, I skimmed her e-mails and browser history, hoping to feel closer to her. I wanted to know
what I'd missed about her life these past months. Pretty quickly, I formed a picture.

Chuch and Eva had helped her find a place while they rebuilt. One of his many cousins needed a roommate, and Shan fit the bill. She'd gotten a job selling clothes at the mall, which she didn't love, but it paid the rent. At night, she studied for her GED, and two weeks ago, she'd passed the test. She had an e-mail from Eva, congratulating her. In her
DOWNLOADS
folder I found a couple of PDFs from Laredo Community College. One contained fee info and the other was an admissions application.

Wow
. I was
so
fucking proud of her.

And there were random notes from Jesse, too, showing the evolution of their relationship. At first just short and quick, uncertain almost, as if he didn't understand why she was on his mind. They got gradually longer, and then I read,
Dinner was amazing. And breakfast was even better.
That had to be their first night together. I felt like a spy then, and I closed the computer.

Where are you, Shan?

I wished I had the ability to connect with her, mind to mind, but I knew no spells that permitted it, only natural gifts. Some people were born telepaths, but I wasn't. Which meant I had to do this the hard way.
Fine.
With a faint sigh, I packed up her things and zipped the backpack we'd bought together. Afterward, I sat with my eyes closed, thinking, hoping Greydusk returned with a vital lead, as I had nothing, a galling admission.