Devil’s in the Details (84 page)

Some of which I extracted from Arthur while I pulled his fingernails out one by one until he babbled like a child crying for his mother. When I was done with him, I continued dismantling the organization that created me, handing over their files to Dani and James and the ONI to sort through and put to good use.

Dani was by my side for most of it until recently when the ONI pulled her completely into their employment, and I met Raven. My dear old neighbor sitting in front of me sipping tea next in a small café outside of London.

I was shocked but not completely surprised that the older woman was one of the best spies in the business, and as she explained how she found me and that she had leads on the ever slippery Colonel Aves, I could see she was hiding another agenda for finding me. I said very little in that impromptu meeting, only staring at her and Dani as they drew out the Colonel's movements. The only question I asked during the whole thing was where Maggie was and why she wasn't a part of this meeting.

Mary smiled at me, "One thing at a time, Victoria. Secrets like these needs to be unraveled one at a time before you can act upon them."

I glared at the woman, "I don't care about secrets, I just care about death certificates." I grabbed the map of the Colonel's movements in South America and walked out of the café. The next day I was sent on a flight to Scotland instead of South America and handed keys to the office I now sat in.

Over the last six months when I had nothing staining my hands but dried ink, chalk and dust from old books, I let my mind relax and started to pull back the black hood.

My thoughts fell to what I left behind, who I left behind.

Alex.

I bit the inside of my cheek, indulging in a rare handful of minutes to think about the woman I loved so much, still to this day. I didn't remember much from that night in New York when the plan started. My system was so full of the cocktail of drugs Dani and the tech team concocted to allow me to medically "die" and it screwed with my memories. I wouldn't even allow Dani to tell me the aftermath, even when she met me at her house in her dress blues, fresh from attending my funeral and delivering the package to Alex. I would shake my head and look away from her, telling her to keep it to herself until this was all done.

Mary was the only one to corner me and ask why I did what I did, leave Alex behind like I had. When I looked in her eyes, I had seen clearly the suffering I had put Alex through and the myriad of emotions she had suffered from being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I looked away from Mary, focusing on the white porcelain tea cup near her hand, "They were going to kill her. Contract or not, they were going to kill her out of spite. Arthur hated she was the reason why I was leaving him, leaving Voltaire and upsetting all of the work he put into creating me.

Dani had pulled the chatter and contracts that Alex was going to be murdered in my house the second we returned from Sweden." I swallowed hard, cringing at the memory of how the contract suggested her death would look like. "So, we changed the plan. I had to destroy my entire life, destroy her heart so she could be safe. If they thought I was dead, they would never think to look behind their shoulders. Giving me the opportunity to slice every one of their throats and watch them bleed out as I stood over them." I paused, feeling my heart tighten, "I did all of this for her, as morbid as it may appear to you. It was all for her."

Setting down the pen I had been using to write tomorrow's class notes, I closed my eyes, rubbing at my temples. I missed Alex. I missed the piece of my heart that she held and I hoped she had found a way to move on. Find a life past the monster I brought into her life when all of my secrets came spilling out like a torn, overflowing grocery bag. She had made it clear that last night that what I was, was unforgivable and in a way it solidified that I and my black hooded twin would forever be one. More now than ever since I had stained my hands with so much blood over the last four years.

I opened my eyes when my cell phone vibrated in a circle, Dani's name flashing at me. I scooped it up, tapping the green answer button, "What?"

"Someone's cranky this morning." She huffed, "I thought we had gotten to a good place over the years, then I remembered how moody you are."

I rolled my eyes, tugging at the edges of the thick sweater I wore, "Get to the point, I have a class to finish preparing for."

"And how is your Scottish accent coming along? Last I heard it was bordering more on Scotty from Star Trek." Dani chuckled, annoying me more. Dani and I had grown closer over the four years, but there was new tension over the last six months since I was on stand down. She began to look at me and hint about home. It was her way of trying to open the door to talk about Alex. As much as I wanted to know nothing, I also wanted to know everything about Alex and what she had been doing over the years. I had only heard bits and pieces, seen a picture or two of her at Bethesda hospital as Dani and James continued to sort with the mess that was the now dismantled Voltaire files.

"Your point, please." I ran a hand through my hair, squinting at the strawberry blonde tones I added in when I became E.A. Lamont.

"The point is this. Raven called me yesterday, concerned about Alex." Dani paused, waiting for my angry refusal to hear anything about her. “As you know, Alex has been very determined in proving your death was a hoax. To the point that her mother almost had her admitted to the crazy house.” She sighed, “I still hate you for making me lie to her that day. You have no idea how much it hurt to pretend that she was crazy with grief, not dead onto the truth.”

I dropped the strands of hair, interrupting Dani, "Concerned about what? Last you told me, she was fine. Off anyone's radar, living a quiet life." I felt my stomach and heart slam into each other, "Dani, you know I can't."

"You can, because this is serious. I'm sorting through the encrypted intel, the shit is thick and practically unbreakable, but trust me when Raven is concerned, I take it seriously. Something fishy is hanging around Alex and Raven went to her last night. Told her that if she wanted answers for all those questions left from New York, an E.A. Lamont would have them."

Dani paused again, "Alex boarded a Loganair flight a few hours ago. She's coming to you, Victoria." She chuckled, "Way to be lame with your codename, using your middle name, Alex's middle name and grammy boozers last name. It's like you have been begging her to sniff out your trail. Should have stuck with the one I gave you, Laverne DaFazio."

I felt the bile in my stomach demand to be released, my hands trembled as I interrupted Dani's annoying jokes, "Why the hell did Raven do that?" I stood up from my desk and moved to the window, "You explained why I had to remain a ghost to her right? That I have to find the Colonel before I can go back to being alive." I looked down at the old wooden window sill, there was a double meaning in that last sentence. "I can't…."

"I know Victoria, but maybe it's time. Time to rise up from the dead and finish what we started. The intel Raven gave me is pointing to someone targeting Alex for something and none of us can decipher what yet." Dani sucked in a slow breath, "Raven is doing this because she thinks bringing you back together will shed some light on the creepy back chatter."

I shook my head, "No, god dammit no." I felt my eyes well up, "I'm not the woman she knew." I was the monster I was before her, the killer who only found solace when there was fresh blood being spilled.

"You are, and you know it. You will always be the woman she brought out." Dani sighed, "Anyway, heads up if you want to blow off class and hide in that fancy apartment Maggie paid for. But knowing Alex, she will find you somehow. E.A. Lamont. She came close a handful of times that first year."

Dani hung up, leaving me to stare at the knotty window sill. "Fuck." I threw the phone on the desk and moved to pick up the silver laptop Dani gave me when I arrived in Scotland. Since I was no longer tied to an agency, she was able to hook me up with a free agent status with the ONI, allowing me a high security clearance to navigate through their files and add more about Voltaire as I continued to eliminate the remaining members.

I tapped open the waiting email from Dani, reading the case notes sent by Mary and Dani. It was a total encrypted mess and there were some key words that popped out. Alex's name being one and then a bunch of gibberish.

I spent a half hour reading over the notes, trying to pull out any little things that would point to the Colonel or was a Voltaire trademark. I had set the seas into turmoil with my frenzied dismantling of Voltaire and killing Arthur like I did, and in reality I should have expected some sort of splashback.

I continued glossing over gibberish when I heard a soft knock on my door, I slapped the laptop closed and stood up as the visitor pushed open the door and spoke.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Professor Lamont?"

My lungs seized with my heart when I heard her voice. God it had been so long since I heard her voice this close, it swam through my ears and cradled right around my heart. I gripped the edge of the desk to steady myself as she entered into the office, "My name is Alex…."

Her bright blue eyes met mine and I watched them shift from curious to stunned to flooded with confused shock. She ran her eyes over me quickly, the knuckles on her right hand turning white around the strap of her bag.

"Victoria?" My name came out in a ragged, broken whisper.

I bent my head down, removing my glasses as I blushed involuntarily from the way she looked at me. Forcing air to move past my vocal chords, I licked my lips, "Hello Alex."

I glanced up to see her eyes fill with tears as she shook her head, "No, this….this can't be." She swallowed hard, letting out a heavy breath. "You're…I watched you." She scrunched her face up, her cheeks and face turning a bright red as furious anger became the primary emotion. She blew out an irritated laugh, “And they all thought I was insane.”

I took a step towards her, drawn to her like I had always been when we were together, "Alex, it's me." I paused, "I know this is a unique situation." I frowned, there was no way I could explain anything to her right now. I had died in her arms, then disappeared into the wind to never be seen in four years and now here she was standing in front of her supposedly very dead girlfriend who faked her death to go on a massive killing rampage. What words in the world's dictionary are there to put together to explain this moment?

As the heavy silence fell, I took a moment to stare at Alex. She was still beautiful even though her hair was shorter and she looked a bit thinner, she was ridiculously stunning and it made my heart skip against my will. She continued to look at the floor and clench her jaw, making me wonder why the hell did I do what I did to this incredible woman who I loved liked no other.

"I always carried with me that I never got to say goodbye, that the last thing I ever said to you was telling you how angry I was with you for what you did." Alex's voice was raspy with unshed tears, "That you died without ever knowing that I had forgiven you." She suddenly looked up, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I wish this was just my mind playing tricks on me, or one of Dani's silly spy tricks, but as I look at you, you’re standing in front of me, very much alive." Alex stopped suddenly, staring at me harder as if she was trying to convince her mind that I was standing in front of her and it wasn't a trick. “I knew you were lying to me, laying on that stretcher. Playing dead.” She glared at me, “I don’t understand.”

I nodded, "It's me, yes, and I know that there's a lot I have to explain." I took one step towards her, wanting so desperately to touch her and convince the both of us this was really happening. That after four years, what I felt for her, I still felt deeply.

I was an inch away from grabbing her arm when a bolt of lightning struck the side of my face, a hard slap sound ringing in my ears. I blinked and grabbed my left cheek, looking up at Alex glaring at me with an intense fury.

"Fuck explanations, Victoria. Do you have any idea what you put me through?" She yelled at me, “I had to watch you die, say my goodbyes in a morgue and then live my life regretting I never told you how much I loved you? That I would never get that chance again?! You took that from me, you took my goddamn heart with you and left me with a gaping hole to survive off of."

She stepped closer to me as I rubbed my cheek, searching my eyes, "Four goddamn years. Four agonizing empty years where I shuffled through life finding reasons to keep living. Living in our house, sleeping in our bed alone and seeing you everywhere, begging to anyone who would listen, wishing I could go back in time and have five more minutes to tell you everything I didn't. Never mind the fact that I was on a mission to prove to the world that you were still alive. That bitch, Diablo, she told me something as she rolled you away. It stuck with me, I knew you were still alive no matter what the doctors and lab reports told me." Alex stopped suddenly, sucking in a large breath of air.

She then let out a hard sob, "You…were the love of my life and I fucking hate myself that as I stand right here in front of you, everything I felt for you is rushing back like you were never gone."

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling a few tears of my own escape, "Alex, you weren't meant to be there." I shook my head reaching for her, grabbing on to her arm and shivering at how warm she was, "I had to disappear, and everything changed at the last minute. I did this to keep you safe." I closed my eyes when I felt her tense up and slowly remove her arm from my grasp.