Devil’s in the Details (74 page)

Talk to her, she's ready for you to ask.

Dani."

I frowned, crumpling the note up and throwing it in the trash under the sink. My frown softened when I noticed Dani had washed all of the dishes from breakfast and packed up the leftovers in a neat stack of containers. I shook my head, there were moments that Dani made it veritably impossible to hate her for very long.

Lifting the stack, I moved to the fridge to put them away before I tried to rouse the blonde upstairs, when I heard a small yip and a very tired, raspy voice telling Holly she was a good girl.

My stomach dropped as I caught a glimpse of Victoria walking in the kitchen. Her hair still wet from the shower, she looked better than when I dumped her in bed.

"Hi." Her voice was very raspy, her eyes were tired and tinged with a strange sadness. "Sorry about oversleeping and for last night." She cradled the dog in her arms, moving to sit down at the island. "I'm still up for dinner with your mom."

Victoria said it in a half questioning way, clearly testing the waters with me. I sighed, grabbing the containers to take them to the fridge. I didn't want to look at her, I was afraid to look at her. I was afraid that with one look, I would falter in one way or another. "Mom called this morning. I told her you had a rough night and I would check with you when you got up."

"I could use some meatloaf. I hear it's a great hangover cure." I could hear the smirk in her voice.

Nodding with my back still turned, "We can leave in a couple hours, take Holly to meet Annie and Barney." I bent down, moving things absently mindedly around in the fridge.

A heavy silence fell between us. Just when I had thought we were past the awkward heavy silences, they would sneak in like a lead weight dropped into a pool.

"Alex." Victoria's voice was painfully soft, silently asking me the one question I didn't want her to ask.

I straightened up, turning around to face her as I closed the fridge door, "We will go to dinner, enjoy this Sunday after your birthday. You'll have the meatloaf you love, play with the dogs you love and then after." I sucked in a slow breath, "We'll talk." I raised my eyes up to meet hers, my heart squeezing tightly to hold it together.

Victoria and I stared at each other before she nodded slowly, whispering, "Okay."

Another quick beat of silence, "Victoria, I love you." The overwhelming sense to say the words hit me like a proverbial ton of bricks. I loved her, completely, wholly and to the point I would cripple my emotions to keep her in my heart. Maybe I could live in the darkness of secrets for the rest of my life.

She nodded, her face contorting a bit, "I love you." She sniffled, burying her nose in the top of Holly's head, clearing her throat, "Holly figured out how to jump on the bed."

Holly turned my way, her pink tongue hanging out when she yipped as if to confirm what Victoria told me. I smiled, shaking my head and moving to my two girls, "Did she now?" I ran a hand over her soft fur, leaning against Victoria's side, feeling her lean back into me.

Dear god, my will to talk to her was slowly melting away. Ignorance was bliss and I began to cling to that idea.

"Does this mean there's grandchildren on the horizon?" My mom nudged me as I handed her still warm plates from the dishwasher.

"Mom, it's just a puppy. Not a child." I rolled my eyes, reaching down for another plate, "Victoria always wanted a dog and I miss having one around. It made sense." I shook my head. My mom had been bothering me from the moment she met Holly about future grandchildren, marriage, and when would either Victoria or I were going to pop the question.

She looked over her shoulder out into the living room at Victoria sitting with Bill on the couch, watching the football game. Victoria was covered in dogs, all three of them sleeping contently on my girlfriend. Annie and Barney had taken a quick liking to Holly within a few sniffs and all three adored Victoria. Curling up on any available lap space they could search out. "That girl is a dog whisperer, imagine her with a baby or two."

I groaned, "Mom, please not now." I glanced at the couch, smiling painfully at the sight that warmed my heart but also made it hurt. The impending talk later might taint these moments.

"Uh oh, the honeymoon over?" My mom returned to the dishes, "I know that tone, irritated Ava."

I clenched my jaw. "The honeymoon isn't over." I hesitated, "Victoria and I need to talk about a few things that happened last night and I'm not sure if it's something I want to do."

"Oh honey, you're going to have your fights, it's a part of relationships. By the look of things, it can't be anything too bad. That girl still looks at you like you invented the world just for her." My mom grinned, "I really hope one of you shits or gets off the pot and propose. I've never seen a love like you two have. It kind of makes me jealous." She chuckled.

I huffed, standing up from the dishwasher, "There's more to it that I really don't want to get into. Victoria got hammered last night and said some things that bothered me. I'm being nice and ignoring it in the name of her birthday." I turned around, keeping my head down, "I love her so much, mom."

My mom stopped what she was doing, looked at me as she placed a warm hand on my arm, "Then you'll get through this. I can't tell you how many times Bill and I had rough spats that hurt, but we always got over it. Worked through it and our relationship has never been stronger." She bent down until she caught my eyes, "Ava, no matter what, I know you two will always come back to each other."

I nodded, looking in the same blue eyes I had, "I know." I then drew my eyes to Victoria, smiling and laughing with Bill. "She is the other half of my heart and my life. I know that and always will."

I let out a quick breath, turning back around, "Let's get the cake out and embarrass my girlfriend."

My mom patted my back, rushing to get the cheesy candles I brought over while I grabbed a few more plates. She was right. I knew deep down in the pit of my stomach that whatever life threw at Victoria and I, whatever secrets she held, it would shake us but never break us. I would always come back to her, no matter what.

Dinner at Alex's parents had gone far better than I expected. There had been a strange tense moment or two when I caught Alex staring at me with a pained look, but she would smile and shake it off. I hated the hovering weight of what was coming, but I understood why Alex insisted on going through with dinner. It would ease the smothering tension that was there the second I woke up to the sick smell of Dani's bloody Mary.

I was glad, for selfish reasons, that Alex gently forced this day. It would give me something to fall back on when the truth came out. I adored Bill and her mother. They embraced me like I was family and I knew the way her mom looked at me, she was expecting an engagement in the coming months. I hoped that I could give that to them in the near future.

The drive back had been quiet, Alex passing out like she always did with Holly in her lap, sleeping or keeping watch as I drove us back home. Pulling into the driveway my stomach began to roll. Alex silently exited the car, handing Holly over to me so she could put away the leftovers her mom sent home with us.

"I'm going to put my pajamas on. I'll be down in a minute." She smiled tightly, barely looking at me as she hit the stairs to go to the bedroom.

I could only nod and hold Holly closer to me, "I'll be in the den." The air was already incredibly thick with tension. This wasn’t going to be an easy night. Alex gave a curt nod before disappearing up the stairs, leaving me to sigh heavily and head to the den.

An hour later and one glass of bourbon later, Alex shuffled into the den, wearing the Navy sweatpants and hoody I had bought her at the start of our relationship. I glanced at her, my legs up on my desk with Holly sleeping on my chest, zipped up in my own grey academy hoody. I was feeling the warmth from the bourbon wash over me slowly, easing the nerves and the fear still bubbling in my stomach.

Alex leaned against the doorframe, staring at the puppy sleeping blissfully in the hoody, "I don't think I ever stood a chance."

I raised an eyebrow, moving to set the last sip of bourbon on the desk. "What do you mean?"

She smiled, motioning to the puppy, "Holly, I think she took one look at you and it was a done deal." She then moved her eyes to meet mine, "Unconditional love at first sight."

Swallowing hard at her words, I looked down at the puppy. "She loves you just as much, Alex." I dropped my legs down from the desk, standing up carefully not to disturb the little girl, "Let me put her down in her bed and then, then we can talk." The words caught in my throat, I'd rather be anywhere but here, starting this conversation that I knew would change the life I had grown to love and cherish.

Upstairs I set the sleeping puppy in her bed and watched her for a second, watching her snuggle into a blanket and let out a hearty sigh of content. Holly was happy, I was happy, and Alex was happy. Why was I going to destroy all of it? I didn't have to, I could craft a creative story on the spot and call Dani to help me find a different way to keep Alex safe.

I closed my eyes, standing up slowly. There was no way I could get out of this without telling the bold face truth. I was happy, but I was tired of lying and watching every one of those lies hurt Alex. I moved to the closet and bent down to the safe. Punching in the code I opened the door quietly and removed the black laptop and the thin stack of papers that was my second life. Proof Alex would need when I started telling the fantastical truth that was my employment with Voltaire.

Lifting the laptop, I pressed it against my stomach and took a look around the bedroom. Off in the corner next to Alex's side of the bed was the black hooded figure, staring back at me as she pushed the hood back. Revealing my own face with dark lifeless eyes staring back, she tilted her head in silent question. I closed my eyes, whispering, "I have to do this." When I opened them again, the hooded figure nodded and walked towards me as I turned to walk out the door.

At the top of the steps, the hooded figure and I became one.

I sat in the leather chair across from the desk, legs curled up underneath me, the anxiety started to grow. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this, if I wanted to know the truth Victoria clearly was about to tell me. I could end this, tell her that whatever it was, I didn't need to know.

I shook my head, staring at the glass on the desk. I had to do this, it would forever eat at my gut if I played stupid to the love of my life's weird secret life.

Hearing the top step creak, I sucked in a breath, my jaw twitching, I suddenly grabbed the glass of bourbon on her desk and downed the last bit of it. Letting out a puff of air as the alcohol bit at the back of my throat. I had to calm down before Victoria picked up on how much I really didn't want to do this and used that as an excuse to delay this talk. Maybe I should grab the big bottle of fancy bourbon she kept over the stove and have it ready for the both of us.

I went to do exactly that when Victoria walked into the office, a black laptop with a handful of papers on top in her hands, she looked at me. A painful smile on her face as she set the laptop on the desk near me, "Holly is out like a light." She met my eyes before traveling to the now empty glass on her desk. "I'll grab the bottle."

I nodded slowly, my eyes drifting to the black laptop and the curious stack of papers that looked an awful lot like the case files James always had strewn on the kitchen table in New York. The curiosity got to me and I reached for the top one. There was a strange logo on the front with the word classified stamped underneath it. Squinting at the logo, I recognized it as the one I had seen on Victoria’s laptop screen from the one night I snuck downstairs to find her.