Devil’s in the Details (20 page)

Maybe I could do normal.

Walking into the hospital I spotted Stacy backtracking her steps the second she saw the white box in my hands. Her smile covered her face, "Well now, it's been a minute since we had bagel day." She waved me over to the nurse’s station, looking over my jeans and zip up blue hoody, "No class today, Victoria?" She smirked at her little joke.

I laughed, shaking my head, "The semester is done, and I'm off until September. The suits and uniforms have been all tucked away in plastic for the season." I handed her a tall cup of coffee, looking around as the nerves began to settle hard in my stomach, "Is Alex?" I didn't have to finish the sentence.

"She’s here, pulling a double so this coffee will be much needed. Poor girl won't be off until eight tonight, but she's currently up in Ortho on break. Talking to her Doctor Dean." Stacy made a disgusted face, "Those two make me want to throw up, how stupid and giddy they’ve been lately." She lifted open the lid of the white box, "OOOOhh, pastries today?" She looked up at me for permission to dig in.

I handed her the box trying to hide the wave of emotions hitting me, "Yea, there's Danishes and strudel. The cheese ones are Alex's favorite." I cleared my throat, "Who's Doctor Dean?"

Around a mouthful of raspberry Danish, Stacy spoke, "Doctor Dean is this typical handsome orthopedic surgeon that has been after Alex since her first day here. She always brushed him off, rejecting his numerous date requests, until recently. The last two months they have been going out, sneaking off to make out in supply closets and what not. Alex keeps blithering on about this trip to the Poconos they're taking next week. I think she's finally going to either put out or he's going to ask her to marry him. Either way, its gross. Doctor Dean is gross and way out of Alex's league even for a surgeon" Stacy then looked up at me, "You've been missed around here."

I barely heard her as my jaw clenched so tightly, I could almost hear the tendons snap. My jealousy was rearing its ugly head in force. I curled my hands in fists, when I heard my name again. "Victoria? Did you hear me?"

I swung my head around to the woman, "Yeah, sorry. I had a long flight this morning." I smiled, "What did you say, Stacy?"

Stacy set her Danish down, moving closer to me, "I said you've been missed around her. Not just by me and my bagel neediness, but Alex too. She won't ever admit it to your face, but since you two had that falling out, she hasn't been the same. I think Doctor Dean is her way to get over you."

I forced out a laugh, "We're just friends."

Stacy rolled her eyes, "Yeah and I have an asshole on my elbow." She patted my shoulder, "Either give her up or get her, and do it soon before Doctor Dean gets into her scrubs." Stacy looked up, "Speak of the gross devils now."

I turned to look where Stacy was and saw Alex kissing a tall, dark haired man in a white coat, then giggle as he whispered something in her ear. The kiss and the hand holding between Alex and Doctor Dean was innocent, and yet it did nothing but ignite less than innocent thoughts in my head. Ones that bordered on what his screams would sound like as I castrated him. I had to force myself to look away as my jealousy continued to run rampant, "I should go." I turned to walk away, when I heard my name.

"Victoria?" Alex's voice was quiet, apprehensive, and had a hint of excitement. It had been almost three weeks since I last saw her. Three weeks ago when we had our last awkward pizza party where the conversation was so forced it became painful. I left early, claiming I was coming down with a cold. Hopping on a flight to Venice an hour later to dismember a rogue mafia member in his warehouse.

I forced my best smile on, "Alex. Hi." I waved to the white box and coffee cup, "I was heading in to work to clean up and lock up for the summer. Figured it's been a minute since I saw you." I looked up to see her dark blue eyes staring in mine the way that always made my heart skip. Hers were turning glassy and I could see her visibly swallow. Giving me a glimmer of hope that she hadn't forgotten about me like I once wanted her to.

I went to say something, when a delicate, callus free hand was thrust in my face. "Hi, I'm Dean. You must be the infamous Victoria I hear so much about. The Naval Academy Professor, right?"

Doctor Dean grinned a full set of shiny, glinting white veneers, my way. I grit my own teeth and took his hand, noting that he shook hands like a dead fish and not like a man. He was handsome, but had more ego than looks. I squeezed his hand a little too tight as I smirked, "That's me. Stacy was just filling me in everything I need to know about you, Doctor Dean."

He winced and released my hand, tucking it in the front pocket of his coat before throwing an arm around Alex, "Hope it's all good things." He glanced at Alex who was still staring at me with a completely unreadable look that made my heart ache, "Well, I should leave you two to catch up. I have a consult in five minutes." He bent and kissed Alex's cheek, "I will see you later, babe."

I sucked in a breath through my nose, folding my arms across my chest to hide the white knuckled fists I carried. "I should go too. I need to get to the office before Ensign Hall gets caught up with the others." I smiled at Doctor Dean, "Nice to meet you."

He nodded at me, kissing Alex once more before swaggering down the hall. I turned to say goodbye to Stacy, who was wide eyed watching what had just transpired like it was a soap opera, "Stacy, enjoy the pastries." I then turned to Alex who was breathing heavily with a flushed face, "Alex." I went to walk back to the front when I heard her.

"Victoria, we’re just seeing each other." She paused when she realized that she was doing exactly as I had told her to do months ago. "He's a nice guy." It was her way of justifying that she was moving on. Looking for the life I could not give her, didn't seem to want to give her. I was also having a hard time standing in front of her. Trying not stare at her in her scrubs with her hair up, showing off the features that were my favorite on her. The same ones that I would see at night whenever I closed my eyes and let my mind drift to her. The way she folded her arms tightly to hide how hard her heart was pounding.

I knew in this moment this would be the last time I saw Alex. I couldn't do this, I couldn't fight for her when she was moving on and giving me clear signs that I had to let her go.

I nodded, "He seems nice. Has the handshake of a four-year old, but he seems nice?" I heard Stacy choke, holding back a laugh. Both Alex and I gave her a dirty look. She held up her hands, "I think I hear a pee bag that needs changing." She hustled out of the station, patting my shoulder, "Thanks for the goodies, and remember what I said." She looked over her shoulder, "You've been missed."

I smiled and watched her walk away before returning to Alex, "There's strudel in the box. Your favorite." I moved my hands to the front pockets on my hoody, struggling to find something to say as the air grew tense. Finally, I shrugged and smiled at the woman who held my heart, "I hope he treats you right and it looks like he can afford you." I smiled wider when I saw the small joke ease Alex.

She nodded, "He can, but I won't let him take me to dinner." She then looked over at the rack of charts, taking in a deep breath she spoke, "It was good to see you, Victoria. Maybe we can get together in a couple days for pizza." I felt the struggle in her. She was not expecting me to show up at her work, catch her with her new boyfriend and still feel the things she did.

I licked my lips, "I’m off for the summer. Call me when you're free." I glanced at the giant wall clock. I needed to find an excuse to leave this awkward moment. "I need to hit the road before rush hour." I turned around and started walking back down the hall.

"I won't let him take me to dinner because I'm still waiting for someone else to ask me to have dinner with them." Alex's voice was strong, but wavered as she called after me.

I paused my steps but didn't look back. I couldn't let her see the single tear escape as I blew out a sigh of relief. I nodded with my back to her, "Hopefully they'll be able to afford you." I continued walking towards the front door, wiping away the tears.

Outside I rushed to the BMW and called Dale, "Dale, I have a huge favor to ask of you. I need you to deliver something to George Washington Hospital. I'll fill you in when I get home." I hung up and tossed the phone in the console.

I sat on the edge of the bed in the on call room, I still had another three hours of my shift and I wanted nothing more than to drown out the pounding in my head with a large bottle of wine. I held my head in my hands as I stared at the lines in the tiled floor.

Seeing Victoria this morning had thrown my emotions in a blender and they had yet to stop spinning. It had been almost a month since I last saw her, two weeks since I last spoke to her and I was starting to get over her. At least I thought I was.

But then I saw her. Saw the pain in her eyes when she saw Dean and I, and instantly knew I would never be able to get over her. No matter how hard I tried with handsome doctors and half assed make out sessions in closets. Dean would never be her and whenever I closed my eyes and lost myself in kissing him, I would drift off and fantasize it was Victoria. That it was Victoria's soft lips against mine, her hands roaming over my hips and my back. Then I would feel the stubble on his chin and it would snap me back into reality.

He wasn't Victoria and he would never be.

It was because of those little big things, that I had yet to sleep with him or really give my all in dating him. Deep down I was hoping Victoria would rush in to the hospital, professing her love for me or at least tell me what her favorite color was.

I pressed on the sides of my head, Dean wasn't the answer. Victoria wasn't the answer. I had to move on, I had to forget Victoria. Especially when I blurted out the inside joke, hoping she would turn around. Grin at me, sweep me up in her arms and hold me like I had only recently stopped aching for every night. More than anything, I missed Victoria. I missed the way she just knew me without having to explain my moods like I had to with Dean.

I shook my head and stood up from the bed, going to my bag to pull out my phone. The only way this was going to end was if I cut Victoria off, told her to stop coming to the hospital and just let me fade into a good memory.

Opening up her contact page, I began typing up the starts of a polite but firm message to her when Deb poked her head in the room. "Hey Alex, there's a lady here that has a delivery for you?"

I frowned, "A delivery?"

Deb nodded, "Yep. She says you need to sign for it?" She then grinned, "It's flowers and a gift. Looks like Doctor Dean is a romantic."

I groaned, dropping the phone in my pocket, "His idea of romance is getting me fifty yard line tickets for a Redskins game." I rolled my neck and followed Deb out to the nurse's station.

She looked over at me, "You're a Giants fan, doesn't he know that?"

I shrugged, "I’ve told him at least a hundred times. He's not that great of a listener." I looked up at the station to see an older woman standing next to the one desk with a large bouquet of yellow tulips in one hand and a small brown paper wrapped package in the other. I furrowed my brow, "Flowers?"

Deb wiggled her eyebrows, "Flowers, maybe he's been talking to Stacy?"

I shook my head as we neared the older woman, "She wouldn't tell him shit, she hates him. Plus, there are only two people who know that tulips are my favorite flower." As I said it, my stomach dropped, Dean wasn't one of the two. This couldn't be.

The older woman smiled as I stopped in front of her, "Are you Alexandra Ivers?"

I nodded, still confused, growing more and more anxious. "I am." The woman handed me the small package and set the flowers on the edge of the desk, "My name is Mary and a mutual friend of ours asked me to bring you this." She dug in her pocket, pulling out a thin off white envelope, "Please read this after you've opened the package." Mary winked at me before turning and walking back down the hall.

Deb peered over my shoulder, "Open it! This is exciting!" Her giddy squealing drew the attention of a few other nurses and that one creepy paramedic, Diablo, to stop and gawk a moment before I gave them all dirty looks. Silently shooing them away. I gave Deb a hard dirty look before reaching for the package tearing open the corner. I gasped when I saw it there was a small stuffed tiger resting on top of a DVD copy of
Bringing Up Baby
. I clutched the tiger to my chest as my mouth went dry and I felt my heart begin to race. I picked up the envelope, my hand shaking as I ripped open the corner and pulled out the single sheet folded once over.