Devil May Care (The Grizzly MC Book 12) (8 page)

Chapter Ten

Jakob had seen some big, mean motherfuckers in his day, but the Death Bringers MC was by far one of the biggest, toughest human MCs he’d seen. They were right up there with the Brothers of Menace, and that was saying something since the Brothers were kings in their own right.

They’d arrived at the Death Bringers MC an hour ago, and they’d eaten despite the fact they’d already had dinner. He’d gotten to know everyone, and now they were saying their goodbyes after being there for a few hours. To say he’d been glared down and “talked to” was an understatement, but he welcomed it all. If it proved he was good for her, a right match in their eyes, he’d do whatever it took.

The one named Syd came up to him and narrowed his eyes. “You treat our girl good, you hear me?”

Jakob nodded. Although he wasn’t intimidated by any of them, simply because he was a shifter and they were human, so therefore he could overpower them, he also showed respect. This was her family.

“Yes, sir. I will treat her like a queen.”

Syd grunted. “Good. She’s a nice girl, smart and beautiful.” Syd took a step closer. “You fuck with her and we’ll find you and fuck you up. We don’t give a shit that you’re a Grizzly. You hear me?”

Jakob nodded. The other Patches stepped behind Syd, eyeing Jakob, and silently saying the same things.

“Okay,” Saya said in a long drawn-out tone. “I think it’s time for us to go.” She said goodbye once more before they left. Once in his car she laughed nervously. “I am so sorry about them intimidating you like that.”

He could have laughed at that, because they hadn’t, and he knew all too well about being protective of loved ones, especially coming from MC members. But he just took her hand and shook his head. “I’d walk through fucking fire to get you to notice me, Saya. That was a cakewalk.”

She sucked in a breath, and he inhaled deeply, loving the scent of her. She was pleased with his response, and he was glad. It was the truth.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said, and he couldn’t think of anything better to do at that moment.

They left the clubhouse, and he wondered about her father, about the life she’d led. He wanted her to be open with him, but he had all the time in the world for that.

Twenty minutes into the drive he felt the change in her, smelled the floral scent in the air. Glancing at her showed she was nervous. She twisted her hands in her lap, kept swallowing, and he reached over and touched her leg, hoping to soothe her.

“You okay?”

She looked at him, and through his peripheral vision he could see her licking her lips, smell the warmth and arousal coming from her. It took everything in him not to growl in approval.

“Jakob…” She paused. “Will you take me to your place?”

He swerved for a second, surprised by her statement, and felt his cock harden. Righting the vehicle, he tightened his hands on the wheel and swallowed.

It took him several seconds to answer. “You sure?” He could have just taken it that she wanted to see his place, but he scented her desire, her need, and he knew she wanted something more than a tour. Hell, he’d wanted her from the moment he saw her.

“I’m more than sure.”

He tightened his hands again, and nodded. “Then that’s where we’ll go.” He glanced at her, saw the flush in her cheeks, the parting of her lips. Fuck, his female was going to be the death of him, but what a fucking way to go.

He was at his place before he even knew it, and once they were inside he didn’t know what to do aside from look at her.

She walked around his place, looking at everything, touching things, but he wanted her scent on his possessions, wanted her mark on them.

“Your place is nice, roomy.”

She moved into the living room and looked at the picture of the Grizzly kids when they were all younger.

“Is this the club, well, before you guys joined?” she asked and looked over her shoulder.

“Yeah, but we were born into the club. It’s always been with us. It’s in our blood,” he managed to say, and walked toward her. He started naming off the guys, but his focus was on her. He wanted to be honest with her, to share himself with her, and he supposed now was as good a time as any.

****

“My life hasn’t been all good, Saya, but it isn’t because I don’t have a loving family or people that care about me.” Jakob’s voice, so husky and masculine, cut Saya deep. “My life hasn’t been good because of the shit I’ve done. It isn’t even all about me being in an MC and doing things that have tainted my soul. It’s all the other stuff afterward, the people I’ve hurt, the darkness that’s consumed me.” He breathed out roughly, as if speaking about it was hard for him. “You should turn and run, and not look back.”

Her heart broke for him, and she knew that no matter what they’d both done and lived through, she wouldn’t turn her back on him.

“I won’t run from you again. I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled, meaning those words. “How can I judge you when the life I’ve led, the decisions I’ve made, and the life I’ve been involved with, isn’t all flowers and unicorns?” She felt stupid as soon as the words left her, especially the last part, but it was the truth.

His jaw hardened at her words, and she reached out and smoothed her hand over his, loving that zing of electricity that consumed her at that small touch. He placed his other hand on hers. “Come closer, Saya.” His voice was so deep.

She took a deep breath and pulled her hands free from his. Her heart was racing, her body on alert. The way he said her name set her on fire, and had every part of her feeling like she’d combust. They’d just been talking about serious shit, stuff that might turn this all cold to hell. But damn, she was so ready for him, so anxious and primed that she couldn’t even breathe.

They stared at each other, neither moving for a second, neither speaking. But although nothing verbally was said, there was plenty of energy being passed between them, plenty of chemistry and arousal consuming them. And then Jakob reached out and wrapped his hand around her waist, and pulled her forward so she lost her balance and was sitting on his lap. He curled his other hand around the nape of her neck, and held her so possessively that she felt like she was truly his. The hold was gentle, but very proprietary, and even the expression on his face was the same.

“Being with you makes light fill the darkness in me, and I can’t let that go, baby. I won’t. I need you, and I think you need me, too.”

She nodded, not hesitating, and being honest. “Is this really happening?” she asked, feeling slightly ridiculous for saying anything, but then again with Jakob she couldn’t hold her tongue. She wanted to be honest with him in all things, wanted him to know what she was feeling and thinking.

Never had Saya felt like she was so consumed with someone that she couldn’t even think straight. She’d stayed away from bad boys since the incident, and although Jakob was definitely in the “bad boy” category, he was also very different. He was right for her in every way imaginable.

They were so close, only inches apart, that they shared the same air.

“I want it to happen, Saya.” He searched her face with his gaze. “I want to memorize every part of you, want you to smell like me, taste like me when I run my tongue over your flesh.” She was panting at his words. “I want to have you screaming out my name, begging for more, but pleading for me to go easier.” He leaned in another inch until their lips were almost touching. “But I wouldn’t go easy, because you’d want so much more.”

She closed her eyes and moaned. Yes, she’d want so much more.

He didn’t give her time to respond because in the next instant he had his mouth on hers, and his tongue moving along the seam of her lips.

A small groan left her when he tightened his hold on her nape, digging his fingers into her flesh and keeping her right where he wanted her. The way he took possession of her mouth, and held her like he wouldn’t, no,
couldn’t
allow her to leave, had her lifting her arms and wrapping them around his neck. She needed this, not even realizing how much until this very moment.

A deep sound of need left him when she tilted her head to the side and opened her mouth, taking his tongue inside and moving hers along with his.

When he pulled away she felt drunk from the pleasure he gave her, never having experienced anything like this, never feeling anything this explosive.

“You’re mine, Saya,” he murmured in a husky and desperate voice, his words like gasoline to the fire burning brightly in her.

The way he spoke told her he meant every word. “I don’t want to be anyone else’s.”

He groaned deeply. “I’ll be good to you, treat you like the Queen you are.”

A flash of heat filled her.

“But I’ll also never let anyone else have you. I’ll never let another man touch you, look at you, hell, not even think about you.”

His words were filled with possession, and dammit, she loved it.

She leaned in and kissed him once more, but she felt how tense he was beneath her.

“I don’t want to fight this. I just want to feel alive, to feel something other than this darkness that has consumed me for far too long,” he said against her mouth, pulled back an inch, and looked into her eyes.

“And I feel alive with you, too, Jakob.” And she did. “You are the first person to really make me feel that way since…” She stopped herself, because they hadn’t gone there yet. She hadn’t spoken about her father or what had happened to put him in the situation he was in now. She wanted to be honest with Jakob, but she didn’t want to ruin this moment.

Chapter Eleven

“I knew I was in trouble the moment I saw you,” Jakob said, his voice hoarse, needy.

“Trouble?” Saya asked softly, wanting him to kiss her again.

“The good kind of trouble. The kind that makes a man want to live, want to protect what’s his.”

Her heart beat faster, harder.

She pressed her chest more firmly against his and loved how hard he was compared to her softness. 

“I’m not a good male, Saya, not in any sense of the word.” He was breathing hard, his emotions clear on his face. They were raw, bared.

She couldn’t help but cup his cheeks in her hands, letting him know without words she was right here with him.

“What you see is what you get with me, baby, but I can guarantee I’ll be so fucking good to you.” Their lips were no longer touching, but she was still so close to him that the feel of his warm breath brushed along her mouth.

“I know what I’m getting involved with.” He didn’t know about her father and the MC, but that was something she wanted to talk to him about, too.

“I’ve killed people, Saya, and never thought twice about it.” He ran his hand along her back, up and down, soft and easy, but proprietary all the same. He didn’t say anything for several seconds, but then grabbed her waist and lifted her off of him, still keeping her close, but breaking that intimate contact. It was clear he was being honest with her, and she knew holding off on being honest with him wasn’t right.

“I want to tell you who I am.”

He nodded once.

A beat of silence passed before she continued.

“When I was seventeen years old I was with a guy that I was attracted to because of his bad boy appeal.”

God, even thinking that makes me feel like an asshole.

“Truth was he wasn’t very nice, liked to control everything, and my dad saw that, warned me about him.” She took a deep breath and looked right in Jakob’s eyes. “I didn’t listen to him, though, and I should have. I guess I rebelled, just wanted to do what I wanted no matter what anyone said.” She looked right in his eyes. “My father is the president of the Death Bringers MC.”

Although Jakob didn’t move, didn’t even look like he breathed, he stayed quiet, and she knew she wanted to get this out of the way.

“One night I’d gone on a date with the guy, but when he’d dropped me off at home, and thought the house was empty, he wasn’t taking no for an answer. He wanted to come in, wanted to be with me in ways I wasn’t ready for.” She closed her eyes and shook her head, that night fresh in her mind. “But my dad
was
home, his truck and Harley in the garage, the lights low in the house so it looked empty. He’d been waiting up for me, and when the guy started being rough, it was like my dad just appeared, knowing.” She took another deep breath, not really having brought back this night in her mind in a long time. She’d tried to push it away, or at least bury it. This low sound coming from Jakob had her snapping her eyes open and looking at him. He looked pissed, enraged even.

“I hope your dad fucked him up,” Jakob between clenched teeth.

She looked down at the ground and nodded. “Yeah, to say the least. He pulled him out of the car like he was a ragdoll. I’d seen my dad in the worst of moods before, but this…” She swallowed at the memory. “This was something I’d never seen in him before. The kind of rage that makes a man’s soul dark.” She looked at Jakob again, not realizing she’d torn her focus from him. “My dad is a big guy, and people tend to keep their distance for good reason.”

“I’m glad he was there to protect you,” Jakob said softly, this part of him something she didn’t think she’d ever witness. He was just so big, so intimidating in ways that reminded her of the men in her father’s MC. Hearing this gentle tone come from him was … nice.

“I would have killed the motherfucker just for thinking he could put his hands on you, Saya.”

She swallowed at the sudden ferociousness in Jakob’s voice, but this shiver washed over her, a pleasant sensation at the fact he was acting so protective, possessive of her.

“Because of my actions my father is now in prison, and it’s my fault, no matter what he says. If I would have listened to him, known he was always looking out for my best interest, things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did.”

“Come here, Saya,” Jakob said with determination, and she went over to him. He pulled her on his lap once more, cupped the side of her face, and she couldn’t help but fall into the protectiveness and comfort he provided.

“When I say I know all about violence, darkness, and the likes, I meant it, Jakob.” She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. “I have lived that life, embraced it, love it.” She pulled back and hoped he saw how truthful she was. “I may have sworn off relationships since the incident, and that’s why I ran that first time we met, but I am tired of running, from not letting myself have something that feels so right.”

“Saya,” he groaned her name.

“Being with you feels right on every level, Jakob.”

He leaned forward and rested his head against hers. “It does, baby, fucking hell does it feel incredibly right. But I’m no good for you, Saya. To say you’re too good for me is an understatement, but I want you, and the selfish bastard in me and my bear can’t let you go, no matter what.”

“I’m not too good for you, Jakob. I think we’re perfect for each other.”

“I enjoy killing, enjoy having blood on my hands, but only from those that truly deserve it, Saya. I want you to know that before things go any further.” His stare was unwavering, hard like steel.

Her heart was beating so hard she thought it would burst right through her chest.

“So, when I tell you I am not a good man, I am an animal in every sense of the word, literally and figuratively, I mean it.” He leaned in another inch. “And I want you, want to own your body, make you scream for me, beg me to spank you harder, and give you more, Saya.” He whispered that last part, his bear actually flashing across the surface of his face. His eyes turned dark, his pupils eating up the color of his irises, and causing this chill of excitement to race up her spine.

As all of this washed through her, the emotions, the reality of this situation, she knew what she wanted. “Jakob, how about we stop talking…” She swallowed, her throat so dry, so tight. She wanted to be with him in all ways, and she wanted that now.

He tightened his hold on her face just marginally, but she liked that little bit of pressure.

“If you knew the things I want to do to you, I don’t think you’d be sitting there before me. You’d be running again, just like you did that night at the fight. That was your instincts telling you I’m an animal, bad news, baby.”

She shook her head. “You’re the furthest thing from bad news, Jakob.”

The room was heated, the air thick. There was arousal, tension, but also excitement and anticipation.

She couldn’t help but shiver.

“I will never be a soft and gentle male, never be the one to sit back and let his female go without knowing where she is, or that she’s safe. I have to have control in all things, especially when it concerns my female.” He looked right in her eyes, his pupils still dilated. “And you’re my female, my girl, Saya. I’m a bear shifter, a Grizzly MC Patch, baby, and because of that I’ll be like no man you’ve ever been with.”

“Maybe that’s what I want, Jakob, need in my life because it’s what I’ve been missing.”

He growled low. “When it comes to you I
am
possessive, territorial, and will fuck up anyone that tries to get in the way of that.” He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and she knew it was because he wanted his words to sink in, to really resonate in her.

And they did.

He held onto her arm, moved his fingers down to her hand, and stroked his finger along her pulse point, which she knew was beating fast and hard in her wrist. The feeling of those digits pressing in lightly against her radial pulse had everything in her heightening even more. It was that touch, seemingly so small, that had this angry arousal moving swiftly through her.

“You should be afraid, Saya.” He pulled her arm up and kissed the inside of her wrist. “You should be really fucking afraid of me, afraid of the type of man that wants you.”

She was suddenly very hungry for him, even more than she was when this first started.  Saya wanted his hands on hers, his teeth on her body, and his cock between her thighs.

“I think we both need to forget about all of this, Jakob. I think we just need to be together, to accept that we were put in each other’s paths for a reason.” She leaned forward and rested her hands on his shoulders, and the feel of her shirt gaping open, and that he glanced down and could most likely see the swells of her breasts rising over her bra wasn’t lost on her.

“You sure you want this, baby?

She nodded without hesitation. “I don’t care if you think you have something very bad inside of you, Jakob. I want you, all of you.”

He lowered his gaze to her nearly exposed breasts.

She took
his
mouth this time, but she wasn’t easy in her kiss, wasn’t soft or gentle. They didn’t need sweet right now. They both needed brutal and consuming, and something that would make everything else pale in comparison.