Determination (6 page)

“We’re finding some cover,” Sekiro said in a tone that brooked no argument. She searched the rooftops, then grabbed one of Roxie’s wrists and yanked her towards the roof of a restaurant.

The wind whooshed in their ears and the roof grew closer, but before they could reach it a giant shadow rose out of the ground, engulfed the building, and shot into the sky in one massive column.

A menacing male voice boomed from within the shadow. “And where do you think
you’re
trying to hide?” The voice boomed with the intensity of movie theater speakers cranked too high.

They both pulled up short. Roxie couldn’t see anything through the shadow. It was like a black void. Anything inside it might as well not exist. What would’ve happened if they’d flown into it? Curious as she was, she was more interested in
not
getting her answer. On top of that, who or what was speaking from inside the void? That she’d like an answer to at a more convenient moment.

“This way!” Sekiro took off like a dragonfly, sailing over Roxie’s head and doubling back towards the lighthouse.

Roxie beat her wings and took off after her. They covered a quarter mile when a shadow rose out of the entire length of the Niagara Thruway, rising as one wall the span of the Great Wall of China and it surged into the darkened sky.

The booming voice said, “Why are you even trying to run, Numina? I know you have a live one with you. It does not belong here.”

Eyes watering, Sekiro whimpered. She searched the city once more, then slumped her shoulders. “Let’s just land.”

Directly below them lay one of many city streets looking much like most others. Sekiro began drifting towards the street. Roxie followed, slowing her wingbeats enough to sink.

Roxie was still a good one hundred feet in the air when the street turned black like a paper towel soaking up black water. Her descent faltered as her eyes tried to figure out what she was seeing. The blackness spread to engulf the sides of the buildings lining the street below. No, not spread;
rose.
The blackness was rising to engulf them. It made no noise, moved no air, yet it felt oppressive, hostile, like a great maw rising to swallow them.

Letting out a startled cry, Sekiro darted to the left and Roxie followed her over an old building as the darkness surged into the sky right behind them.

“Not there,” the booming voice said.

“Where?” Sekiro shouted, flailing her wiry arms.

“Figure it out, Numina. If you prove to be an insufficient Guide, I will strip you of your powers.”

Sekiro gave Roxie a look of panic of a person who’d been sprung with a surprise test she hadn’t studied for.

Roxie said, “So where would he logically want us to go?” She tried to sound calm and, to her relief, managed a good job of it. Her emotionless calm was mostly gone, but she felt like she could slip back into it if she could forget her headache and nausea long enough to concentrate. Right now she was in fight-or-flight mode, ready to fight, but being forced to take flight.

“I don’t know!”

“Well--” Darkness engulfed the old building below and rose to claim them as well. Roxie and Sekiro darted out of its path.

They zipped over block after block as columns of darkness rose all over the city. The placement of the shadow columns looked random, except the ones that rose up directly in front of them. Sekiro changed direction every time this happened. And every time they brushed past a rising column, Roxie expected to hear a groan or whoosh, or some sort of menacing sound that would make her skin crawl, but the shadow columns made as much noise as a cloud’s shadow racing across a grassy field.

Another shadow column rose up in front of them. Sekiro turned ninety degrees from it and stopped in the air a block away from it.

Roxie stopped near her. “What’s wrong?”

“Every place I try to take us, he throws up another shadow thing. I don’t know where he wants us to go!” Her hands were balled up into fists and her eyes were hidden under her bangs and the rim of her Borsalino cap.

“Maybe somewhere outside Buffalo?”

Sekiro looked up, her watery eyes wide. “Let’s try that.” She darted towards where they Buffalo Main Lighthouse lay, but a wall of darkness separated them from it. She stopped and searched for an opening, then doubled back and flew in an easterly direction, passing over a more suburban stretch of the city. There were tons of places to eat, shop, or live. They got almost all the way to I-90 when another wall of darkness rose from the highway and surged into the sky, caging them in. Sekiro veered north and they flew over a neighborhood of cookie-cutter homes. Once they reached what Roxie recognized as the Kensington Expressway drawing a line through relatively flat terrain, darkness rose out of that road and surged into the sky, caging them in even more. Sekiro veered westward, their last option. Before they could fly more than a block, a wall of darkness rose in the distance and connected with the sky. They stopped.

Buffalo fell into darkness as thorough as a cloudless night with no electricity to light up homes and buildings. Roxie couldn’t see Sekiro with her eyes, but she could see just fine with her mind vision. Sekiro’s wiry form hovered near her in bold white lines. She almost looked like an x-ray picture, but without the shading or a visual of what lay under her skin. The city below was outlined in fainter lines like a light pencil drawing. More distant parts of the city were outlined in grays that gradually faded into the blackness engulfing them. She couldn’t make out anything beyond maybe a quarter mile.

“Roxie, where are you? I can’t see anything!” Her white outline blindly groped the air in front of her.

“Right near you,” Roxie said. Her headache and nausea were finally ebbing. And even though she was far removed from her emotionless calm, she couldn’t bring herself to panic. She could still see, thanks to the mind vision ability Aerigo had taught her.

Sekiro pivoted and reached towards Roxie, then found her shoulders and grasped them. “Oh thank goodness, I found you. Can you see anything?”

“I’m using extended reality to see. Sekiro, I don’t think he wants us to go anywhere.”

Sekiro shook her head. “But he--” The outline of her eyes widened. “You’re right,” she said in disbelief. She smacked her forehead. “Oh, my god, you are so right. I’ve been so focused on what he wants, instead of focusing on being a Guide and bringing you where you need to go. Bear with me ‘cause I can’t see a darn thing.” Sekiro carefully reached a little higher, then placed the palm of one hand on Roxie’s forehead and closed her own eyes.

Roxie listened to the buzz of Sekiro’s wings and the thud of her own as the Numina did whatever it was exactly that she was doing. As much as she was glad to have inadvertently been of some help, she hoped she was right. There was no way she’d be able to see the darkness coming if it appeared and rose to engulf them. On top of that she wouldn’t see any walls or columns of darkness before they flew into it.

Before Roxie could voice her concerns, Sekiro gasped and let go.

“No, Roxie, no,” the Numina said in a heartbroken voice.

“What?” The sadness in Sekiro’s voice made Roxie feel sad as well. She almost didn’t want the answer to her question.

“No good will come of this,” she said with a shake of her head. “No good at all. Except... you won’t move forward, unless you get your answers.” Her shoulders slumped. “Please don’t hate me for this.”

“I don’t understand.”

Frowning, Sekiro a deep breath and grimaced. “Roxie, you have dead family...”

Roxie opened her mouth to ask why that mattered, but then the significance of it dawned on her.

The voice from the darkness said, “Passable work, Numina. Send the living one to me once she is ready.”

Roxie barely noticed Sekiro gape as the Numina shied away in a full-body cringe. Roxie was too preoccupied with the thought of seeing her dead parents. She was in the spirit world. So would her parents be. After having gone her entire life without meeting them face-to-face, or having exchanged a single loving word with them, she finally had the opportunity she’d never hoped for.

Color began to fill in between the white outlines of Sekiro’s stricken face, and then her fear softened into confusion. She looked around and down. “Hey, I’m able to see again.” Sunlight bled through the darkness. It was like watching dawn approach in fast-forward. The darkness evaporated, giving way to the sun, which still hung low in the eastern sky, and puffy clouds resumed their trek under the blushing colors. The sight was beautiful, yet eerily quiet.

Roxie took off in the direction of Pollyanna Hospital, the place her mother had died in.

“Roxie, no! Let me lead the way!”

Chapter 5

A Gift Given

Roxie forced herself to slow down and wait. She didn’t want the darkness returning because she led the way--if that was why it appeared in the first place. Hopefully, Sekiro could explain who or what the heck that was, yet Roxie’s wonder about the darkness gave way to her yearning to see her parents. She was actually going to be able to
see
them. Maybe even talk to them. Maybe hug, too. Sure their bodies would be ice cold, but that was nothing compared to actually being able to interact with them for the first time in her life.

Sekiro caught up and stopped in front of Roxie, her eyes hard, yet brows creased in worry. She put her fists on her petite hips. “Roxie, don’t take off on me anymore. Just follow me. You’re not going to enjoy where I’m about to take you, but we must go to these places. You have to trust me. Now prove to me that I can trust you.”

“Places?”

“You know that your parents died separately, and in two different locations, right?”

“Yeah. My dad died in a car accident on the way to the hospital, and my mom died shortly after giving birth to me.” She said it all pragmatically. Both deaths were tragic and she’d often felt the sting of not having them to raise her, but her grandmother had done a fantastic job letting her know that she was loved, and that her parents would have loved her just as much. How her parents had died carried just a little weight. Her father had met an untimely end, and her mother, she imagined, was almost like a sacrifice for the sake of giving a being to the universe that could save so many more lives. Roxie hadn’t thought of that until just now. Still, she had to get out of the Realm of the Dead if she was going to save anyone, including herself.

Sekiro looked at her expectantly but Roxie had nothing to add. The Numina bowed her head. “To your dad first, then,” she said somberly. “But first you must prove to me that I can trust you.”

“Trust me how?”

“To stop running off. I can’t help you if I’m chasing you everywhere.”

Roxie let out a resigned sigh. “I’m sorry. That’s a tough thing to ask. I’ve been reacting to everything, but I’ll make a point to think before I react. Would you be willing to work with my learning curve?”

Sekiro nodded briskly. “Fair enough. But only if you’ll trust me. I know this is all very strange, but it’s crucial that you trust and follow me.”

“I trust you.”

Sekiro drifted closer so her beating wings buffeted Roxie with air. “So do we have a deal? You follow me and I help you get out of here?” She held out a hand.

Roxie took it. “You bet. I appreciate all the help you can give me. I’d probably still be on that train station, and unconscious.”

Sekiro clasped Roxie’s hand in both of hers. “You’d probably be dead already if it weren’t for me,” she said with a wan smile.

Roxie grimaced. That drove the point home.

They flew west, back towards the lighthouse, but slightly north of it. If she remembered correctly, her father had worked for Human Resources out of City Hall. Mom had gone into labor towards the beginning of rush hour, so Dad had scrambled for the hospital to be with her. The police had told Grandma that her son had, according to witnesses, been weaving through the building traffic on the Niagara Thruway, and so had the person that hit him. His Civic got clipped by a pickup truck and both vehicles lost control. The truck swerved off the road, but Dad spun out. The car behind him t-boned him in the driver’s side, and then a few more cars piled up behind the wreckage. No charges were pressed since it was unclear who’d originally been at fault. A gruesome tale without a satisfying ending.

Recalling her grandmother describing what had happened to Dad made her heart feel heavier. Yes, she was about to meet his ghost, but what would he do when they met? Would his spirit be whole, or would his body be covered in fatal injuries? Would seeing her cause him great pain, or would he be overjoyed with being able to talk to her at last? Her heart began racing. Would he even like her or want anything to do with her? He had, after all, died because of her, in a sense. No, she hadn’t encouraged him to drive dangerously, and no, she hadn’t done anything to induce the fatal crash, but he’d been driving dangerously because Roxie was about to be born.

Thinking that made Roxie realize how ridiculous she sounded. How could anyone blame a baby about to be born for an adult’s driving? Still, even with that realization, she couldn’t help but worry that he might have one reason or another to reject her.

Sekiro guided them to the Niagara Thruway. When they flew to within a quarter mile of the crash site, cars began to appear all over the highway. They manifested as if they’d driven out of a fog and the hum of engines and collective whoosh of rushing cars met their ears. The sounds were muted, as if they were hearing the highway from farther away than they actually were.

“There he is,” Sekiro said somberly, pointing to a forest green Civic weaving through traffic. A few cars behind him was a black pickup truck doing the same.

The truck weaved to the left lane as Dad sped along the right lane. He tailgated a car until he had barely enough space to sneak into the center lane and the truck passed the car in the center and changed lanes without using his blinker. At the same time, Dad swerved into the center lane, and the Civic’s front left side met the truck’s right rear flank like hands slapping together. The crunch of impact sounded amplified over the rest of the din. The truck reflexively left the center lane. Dad’s car wobbled for two heartbeats before spinning out in the right and center lanes. An old Cadillac t-boned him right in his driver’s side door with a teeth-clenching smash. The Civic log-rolled a full three-sixty and slid a little farther before coming to a complete stop, glass and metal scattering everywhere. The pickup truck crossed every lane and swerved off the road, running over debris and stopping just past the Civic. A handful of cars piled up behind the Cadillac with more smashes that made Roxie suck in air between her teeth. Traffic began screeching to a halt.

Roxie and Sekiro alighted next to Dad’s car and Roxie reached for the mangled doorframe. As she shifted her weight to wrench off the door, her hands passed right through it and she yanked only air. Her stomach dropped. Her dad sat leaning against the door, unconscious or dead. She reached inside the broken window and her hand passed through him as well. She let her arms hang at her armored sides and took a step back. “Why can’t I touch him or the car?”

“You’re not dead,” Sekiro said, sounding like the answer should be obvious. “Even if you could, what would you do? This is just a memory. You can’t change it.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just... I just want to be with him.” She thought a moment. “Does this mean he can’t see or hear me? I can’t talk to him?”

“Let me check.” Sekiro circled around Roxie and stood before the dented door. “Right now it’s just residual memories replaying themselves. Such things serve to help lost or stuck souls analyze what happened to them, why they’re stuck, and what they need to do to grow as an individual and move on. Your dad’s soul might be stuck on this memory.” She put a hand on Dad’s bloodied forehead, and left it there for the space of a few heartbeats, then let go and looked to the sky. “Roxie, you have two hard choices,” she said without looking at Roxie. “The first is to just leave this residual memory and go see your mom.”

“No, I want to see him, too,” Roxie said firmly. “I’m not backing out now.”

Sekiro turned in place and slapped her with a pain-filled gaze. “Or,” she said, her voice wavering a little, “you can see your dad, but run the risk of causing him to lose what progress he’s made on his journey. What you want and what he needs are two very different things. Do you understand?”

Roxie’s determination to see her father faltered. She didn’t want to be the reason his soul lost progress and wasn’t able to move on. But... this was the one opportunity she had to talk with him. Assuming all went well and she was able to find happiness after losing Aerigo and handling Nexus, how would she feel if she passed up the one opportunity to exchange words with Dad?

All the cars, both harmed and unharmed began to dissolve into nothing. So did Dad’s. Roxie closed the gap to the dented driver’s side door and stuck her face through the broken window. “Dad!” It felt so strange saying that and actually looking at her father’s face, which was fading with the rest of the traffic. “Dad, no! Don’t go! I want to talk to you!” Unable to help herself, she tried to grasp the fading car. Her hands found only air. She straightened up and took in the empty highway.

“Roxie,” Sekiro said calmly. “That wasn’t your actual father. It was just a memory.”

“Then where is he?”

She looked to the sky. “On his way.”

Roxie looked to the sky as well, but saw only puffy clouds and the colors of daybreak. But he was somewhere out there, and on his way. That got her heart racing anew. They were going to talk to each other for the first time in their lives. Would it go well or poorly?

“Look just above the horizon.” Sekiro pointed down the highway.

Roxie followed her outstretched finger. At first she saw nothing, but then she saw what looked like a transparent white ball of light with a gyrating comet tail. Next to the ball of light flew or floated a distant black figure. It looked a walking humanoid, but it was hard to tell. The watery mirage effect blurred out too much. Roxie started to approach the two objects but Sekiro grabbed her arm.

“Don’t force yourself into his journey,” she said gently. There wasn’t any terseness in her voice. She spoke with sorrow and compassion. “Let him invite you in his life. Things work better that way.”

Roxie nodded and stood beside the Numina. When she looked back down the highway, she flinched. The white ball and figure were maybe twenty yards away. They’d looked miles off seconds ago, yet approached at a casual pace.

“Remember: time means nothing here.”

“It’s so hard to forget that part,” Roxie said. “I don’t know how to make sense of it when I’ve always been told to make the best of every minute of my life.”

“That’s understandable. Don’t fight it if it makes your brain hurt.”

The dark figure fleshed out into a Numina, a male one. He looked Indian with his smooth caramel skin and dark hair. He wore a sherwani, a long button-down coat that came below his knees, and black slacks underneath. The sherwani look stylish enough for special occasions. It had a brass background with stencils of tigers and elephants cradling palm fronds and elephant grass. The Indian Numina’s wings looked like Sekiro’s dragonfly-faerie hybrid, but with fewer pointy ends. He tugged at one of his cuffs, met Roxie’s gaze, and smiled warmly.

Roxie returned the smile, but then diverted her attention to the ball of light. It was half as big as the Indian Numina. From within it looked like a second man was stepping out of it with rays of sunlight showing through clouds from behind. It looked... heavenly. With all her knowledge and spiritual beliefs, she couldn’t think of a better word to describe it. The light faded and before her stood the man from all the family photos that Roxie recognized as her father. He had the same hair and dark eyes, same nose, same broad shoulders. He wore a navy blue coat and slacks, a loosened silver silk tie, and a pale blue dress shirt underneath with the top three buttons undone. No blood marred his clothing or features. He looked unharmed and puzzled and his eyes widened when he noticed Roxie.

Roxie held herself back right as she started to run to him. Sekiro placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Let him come to you. Trust me, he will. Asiya told me your dad likes to act upon things once he makes a decision. Sounds a bit like you,” she added cheerfully.

Sekiro was right about Roxie’s bullheadedness. She couldn’t help it; it was just her nature. Still, it was neat to know she and her father shared a trait. Grandma had remarked now and then on what quirks and traits she got from which parent, but never did this often because it left a bittersweet after-feeling. The comparisons just slipped out now and then. This time, at least, it was mostly sweet and slightly bitter. “Should I get rid of my wings and armor?”

“Nah, save yourself the trouble. He knows who you are. Besides, you’re gonna need them once it’s time to see your mom.”

“Roxie?” Dad said, unsure.

Roxie popped a big smile that had tears behind it. For the first time in her life she’d heard her father say her name. She forced herself to breathe evenly. She couldn’t afford to start crying. Not now. If she did, she might not be able to stop for a long time. Her grief over the loss of Aerigo was still roiling around in the back of her thoughts. “Hi, Dad.” Dad. Not “my dad” or “my father.” Just “dad.” What a strange feeling saying those two words generated. She couldn’t think of a good comparison to this moment. There probably was none. She felt more complete, more whole, being able to address her actual father, even though he’d been dead for eighteen years.

“Oh, Roxie, it really is you.” Dad approached her with open arms and tears in his eyes. At the same time as Roxie let her heartstrings tug her towards her father, their respective Numina held them both back.

Sekiro said to Roxie, “Would you be willing to donate some of your energy to him so you can hug him back and whatnot?”

Roxie blinked at the question, then thought of all the shadow people she’d been unable to touch until they stole her energy. “Do you even have to ask?”