Determinant -Guardians of Vesturon [3] (12 page)

“Quite simple. I do believe one of her parents is from Vesturon.”

“Bloody hell, Rowan. I know that. It was meant as a rhetorical question.” Maddie knotted her fingers, and lifted her eyes to Rayn. He shrugged. Then her eyes made it to me. I was at a loss.

“Daughter, what can you tell us about her?” Rowan asked.

Maddie was silent for a moment.

“Not much really. January never spoke about her past. I always thought she had some dark, deep secret she didn’t want to disclose. She never spoke of her family, except for her little brother and sister. It was all very strange, now that I think of it,” Maddie concluded.

Thoughts began pouring through my mind.
She could see my aura. She was telepathic. Her strange eyes had bewitched me. I found them odd for human eyes. Now I knew the truth.
I must have been projecting my thoughts because I lifted my eyes to see all occupants of the room staring at me.

“When were you going to share this?” Father asked sardonically.

“I…I was not thinking. My mind did not grasp it for what it was,” I lamely explained.

“Apparently not,” he said drily.

My father’s eyes bore into mine. Every thought became available for his inspection. I fidgeted with the onslaught of his invasion. My embarrassment over my feelings for January became evident as I felt myself flushing from head to toe. I rubbed my palms on my legs and stood. My eyes darted around the room, looking for a landing site but I was unsuccessful. I had to escape from this room. I strode to the door and made a hasty exit.

I made it as far as the exit of the Command Center when I felt a hand on my arm. I glanced up to see Maddie.

“It’s okay Rykerian. Please stop for a minute.”

It was hard to refuse Maddie anything. I adored her…in a brotherly fashion. She was dear to me and I trusted her abjectly.

“I am confounded over all of this Maddie.” I patiently explained the whole situation to her, beginning with the incident in January’s car to her acute dislike for me. “She hates me for saving her.”

“I know you don’t want me to, but I need to see her Rykerian. Maybe I can find what’s troubling her. We were sort of close at one time. Maybe she hasn’t forgotten that, and perhaps I can help her with Vesturion heritage. I can help her adjust.”

“You may be right.”

We headed back to the conference room, me and my ruby-colored face and all. I filled my father in with all the details and we made a joint decision that Maddie would speak with January.

*****

January sat outside on the back terrace, wrapped in a blanket, sipping tea.
This must be her favorite spot. I must remember this.

Maddie squeezed my hand as we walked toward her. She gazed at the mountains in the distance and didn’t seem to notice our presence.

“They’re lovely mountains, are they not? My friend Cat and I used to love to camp up there,” Maddie whispered.

January slowly turned toward Maddie. Initially I thought I would see her smile. I was mistaken yet again. She stared at Maddie as her narrowed eyes turned into frosted chips of ice. Her frown deepened and her lips hardened into a thin line as she rose to her feet and closed the distance between us. The three of us stood together for a moment before she uttered a word.

“I know I’m not hallucinating. My wits are completely here. I don’t have a fever anymore so you’re not a figment of my imagination, but reality…here in the flesh. So Maddie, what I would really would like to know is, what kind of cruel game are you playing?” she fumed.

Maddie’s face fell, but she wasn’t giving up. “No game January. It’s me. Maddie. As you said, in the flesh.”

“Who in the hell do you think you are?” she asked contemptuously, her voice quivering.

Oh no! No, January, not this!

Maddie was at a loss. I squeezed her hand to encourage her. Her pain was plainly seen in her eyes.

“January...it’s me, Maddie. The Maddie you roomed with at Western.”

“Like hell you are!” she hurled back, shaking her head. “
That
Maddie would never have let us think she was dead.
That
Maddie couldn’t even
walk
!
That
Maddie would have called us to say she was okay.
That
Maddie would never have let Cat become suicidal.
That
Maddie would have shown up at the hospital to help Cat.
That
Maddie would never have let Cat suffer until her life was in shambles. So I have to ask you again. Who in the
hell
do
you
think
you
are?” January was trembling with rage.

Maddie’s mouth opened and closed several times but she didn’t utter a sound.

I thought I would attempt to help.

“January, Maddie is only trying…” I got no further before she turned her rage on me.

“Shut up! You’re just as bad as she is!” she spat. “You couldn’t leave well enough alone so you took it upon yourself to make a decision that wasn’t yours to make. Who are you despicable people that you can so randomly destroy people’s lives? Is this something you enjoy? Do you do it for fun?” Her scathing tone shattered my resolve.

“Stop! Stop it this instant!” I thundered. “I am sick of your accusations. I am a Guardian. I vow to protect. I am sorry it was not known to me you had a death wish. I am sorry I did not realize you would be so ungrateful for what my people have done for you. But most of all, I am sorry you were mostly unconscious and could not verbalize that you wanted to be left in the forest to die. That is not my fault and I am sick to death of bearing the blame for seeing to it that you have life today. As for Maddie, she could not help what happened to her. She was not given the choice to go and visit your Cat and was unaware of what happened to her. She did not do this out of spite or cruelty. It simply happened. Now, if you are finished with your accusations and tirade, we will gladly depart from your presence.” I pulled Maddie to me; I placed my arm around her and tugged her toward the house.

When we entered the back door, Rayn was there, pulling a sobbing Maddie into his arms. As I looked out the back window, I saw January’s shoulders quivering. She, too, was sobbing. I wanted so badly to go to her, to pull her into my arms and comfort her, but my wounded ego was too bruised and battered to do so. She had pierced my heart with her sharp words and I was ill equipped to deal with it.

My feet carried me to the garage where I hopped aboard a speedster, a motorcycle-like vehicle that actually flew. I tore off into the air, praying the wind would wash away my pain. My gut felt like it had been ripped to pieces and my heart felt like a wrecking ball had crushed it. The pain of it all made it difficult to breathe. Higher and higher I soared, until the trees looked like dots along the horizon.

I circled Balsam Mountain but it just wasn’t enough. Onward I flew and headed toward Mt. LeConte. The sun was beginning to sink in the distance, but my mind wasn’t grasping the beauty that lay before me. I was lost in my anguish and frustration. My hand tightened on the throttle while the other one squeezed the thruster. Faster…I had to go faster. I had to cleanse my mind from the pain.

I can’t recall how much time elapsed or when I realized the mountains had disappeared and I was flying over the coastline. My mind finally escaped the grips of pain and I turned my speedster around and headed back to the Compound. I was surprised to see that it was after midnight. As I made my way from the garage to the back door, I heard a sound from the terrace.

It was someone talking. I headed in that direction and I heard a soft voice moaning and crying.

“Why do you hate me so much?” she cried. It was January, caught in a dream.

I touched her arm, in the hopes of soothing her. She kept repeating the questions, “Why do you hate me so? What have I done to deserve this?” Her anguished tone bit me. I gently rubbed her arm, in hopes of waking her.

Why are you bothering with her? She hates you and doesn’t want to have anything to do with you? Quit torturing yourself!

I could not stop myself. Something drew me to her, like a magnet. It didn’t matter that she did not want me near her. I could not walk away and leave her in pain.

“January! January, wake up! You are dreaming,” I murmured.

“No, don’t hate me. I promise I’ll be good. I swear! Please don’t leave me up here!” she begged in a childlike voice.

“January! Wake up!” I gently shook her. Something had caused her pain. Maddie was right. She had buried some awful secret but whatever it was, it was distressing to her. I shook her again and her eyes fluttered open.

They stared into mine. My night vision, that was inherent to my species, was so acute I could see her widened pupils in stark contrast to her beautiful pale blue irises. She parted her perfectly shaped lips and I could hear her as she drew in her breath. I placed my palm on her cheek rubbing my thumb back and forth. She was confused of her whereabouts.

“You were having a bad dream. I heard you as I made my way into the house. Are you okay?” I asked softly.

She licked her bottom lip before she nodded. “I’m fine, Ry…Ry”

“Rykerian,” I supplied as she tripped over my name.

“Yeah. Rykerian.” She drew a hand across her brow. “Hey, I want to apologize for my behavior earlier. I guess I owe you a ‘thanks’ for saving me. I’m sorry if I seem ungrateful, but you wouldn’t understand.”

“I can try, but you have to let me first,” I begged.

She silently stared into my eyes.

Before I could prevent it, I heard myself say, “You have a lovely name, January.”

She shook her head and made a choking sound, indicating her disagreement.

“I think it is…” She held out her hand to stop me from saying anything else.

“This is exactly what I mean about you not being able to understand.” She pinched that perfect little spot between her eyes...that spot that I wanted so badly to touch with my lips. “I was named that because my mother hated the month of January. Cold, rainy, grey skies, miserable, you know. So you see, my whole life is a screwed up mess ever since the day I was born. Bio-daddy raped my mom so she’s hated me since I showed up in this world. Every time she looked at me she thought about that gawd-awful night and every day she regretted not having an abortion. Now do you understand?” Her tears streaked down her cheeks as she unsteadily rose to her feet.

“Just because she could not see the value in you does not mean no one else can,” I said, wanting more than anything to hold her in my arms, my heart aching for her. She stopped and stared at me and for one brief moment, my heart stopped.

“I’m such a complete and total mess Rykerian. I have issues bigger than that mountain over there. No one with an ounce of sense would want anything to do with me.” She gathered her blanket around her and started walking toward the house.

“Then I must not have an ounce of sense January,” I whispered.

She stopped, turned around and gave me the saddest of smiles. “Why? You…you have a grand life filled with people who genuinely care for you. You need someone worthy of you and trust me, it’s not me.” She turned back around and headed in the direction of the house, but her blanket had wrapped around her ankles, causing her to stumble.

My Power of Speed had me scooping her up before her body could reach the stone terrace.

I tried, I truly did, but before I could prevent myself, my lips descended on hers. They were so soft and velvety and she tasted of the sweetest of honey mixed with the salt of her tears. And her scent...all citrus and fresh smelling...
Sweet Deity, please do not ever let this end!
When I felt her arms inch around my neck, my heart soared in ecstasy. At that moment I realized I had been lost my whole life but I had finally found where I belonged—in January’s arms.

I tore my lips away from hers, my breath ragged with passion. This ghost of a female had not only stolen my heart but also my soul. I had watched her from a distance, longing for the slightest of touches or the briefest of words, knowing if they ever happened, I would be lost. Never in my wildest of dreams had I imagined my feelings would be this intense.

Her pale blue eyes beckoned to me in a way I could not describe. I rested my palm on her cheek and whispered to her, “Do you know how beautiful you are? You have bewitched me beyond my wildest dreams. I am lost to you.”

I tangled my fingers in her hair and touched my lips to hers again. The current that seared me was electrifying. I gasped with pleasure at the myriad of sensations coursing through me. A thought flew into my mind and that was Maddie had been right all along. I had never loved her. This was far beyond any feeling I had ever experienced.

I reluctantly pulled my lips away from hers and stared into her eyes.

“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life. You know that don’t you?”

A nervous chuckle escaped from me. “This is the only thing in my life that has ever made sense to me.”

She reached her hand to my lips and traced them with her fingers. I closed my eyes in bliss, reveling in the feel of her touch. I had been searching for this for an eternity it seemed.

“Please, don’t.”

What? No! Please don’t say no!

“Please don’t close your eyes Rykerian,” she whispered.

My eyes flew open to see her staring at me.

“They are the most beautiful and unusual eyes I have ever seen. Your pupils are…different. And your eyes are intense...so impossibly blue and
warm
. I feel as though I can see your soul through them. I want to look into them forever.”

I couldn’t speak, so filled with emotion I was at her words. I shook my head. No one had ever said such things to me. I swallowed the knot in my throat and smiled at her, then I managed to whisper, “The same could be said for yours.”