Destroying the Wrong (4 page)

I finally had the nerve to look up at Alissa. She gave me half a smile and I could tell she was trying to find the right words. Finally she said, “So, I guess we won't be double-dating any time soon unless you want me to hook you up with one of Matt's friends?” I let out a nervous laugh, “Um, no. I don't think so.” She smiled and said, “You know, no one will even remember this in like a week, right?” She almost sounded convincing, but we both knew better. This stunt would follow me through the rest of my high school career.

Alissa's phone beeped after fifteen minutes of uncomfortable silence to let us know her mom was outside. I climbed into the back seat keeping my head down so her mom wouldn't see my broken expression.

“So, did you girls have fun?” Her mom always sounded happy.

“Oh, you know, just another drama-filled day in the lives of high schoolers!” Alissa tried to match her mom’s happy tone but it came out really sarcastic.

Taking her cue not to ask any more questions, her mom turned up the radio and hummed to the music the rest of the ride back to my place.

“Thank you so much for the ride, Mrs. Sullivan. I really appreciate it and hope we didn't pull you away from anything important.” I always tried to be polite even though she always told me to call her mom.

“You two pulled me away from my fictional book boyfriend but don't worry, he isn't going anywhere.” Alissa got her boy craziness from her mom. I just smiled.

“Hey, Mom, I'm going to hang out here until Kitty Kat’s mom gets home from work if that's okay?”

“Sure sweetheart, just text me when you're ready to come home. Oh, and thanks for texting me when you got to the mall safely,” she said sarcastically because Alissa always forgot.

“Sorry,” we both said in unison.

She just rolled her eyes. “Bye, ladies!” We both waved as she pulled away.

I felt better walking into my room until I saw my laptop. I stared at it and held myself back from throwing it out the window. Anger was setting in and I felt a panicky need to erase all things Robert Stratton.

“I'll make some coffee. You write down all the authors you follow so we can re-friend them on your new Facebook account.” Alissa freaked me out sometimes the way she could read my mind.

A couple of minutes later, Alissa returned with two coffee cups and a
half-eaten bag of chocolate kisses. I was still staring at my laptop scared to log in for fear of seeing some of the pictures taken of me at the mall. Alissa grabbed my laptop and sat down on the floor, motioning for me to sit down next to her. She opened it up and began reading off names of authors. I wrote them all down. After that she made some clicks, turned my laptop towards me and made me watch her click confirm to delete.

“Okay, time for a fresh start.” I just nodded in agreement but felt the tears wanting to fall because despite the treachery it had ended up being, I would miss the fake guy who’d become a very real friend to me. That got me thinking. “Who do you think that was in those pictures?”

“Who cares? I always thought you could do so much better, but I didn't say anything.” I rolled my eyes at her because I recalled her calling him a hottie at least once.

“I’m assuming we’re going to use a fake name?” Alissa looked at me for confirmation.

“Yes, and it needs to be Kat Bing.” I smiled thinking about my crush on Chandler Bing from the series
Friends
that my mom loved to watch on DVD when her day had been extra awful.

Alissa snapped her head up and gave me a very intense look. “Ummm, how are you going to explain to your mom what happened? Did you even tell her you were talking to Robert?”

“No, I did not tell her and no, I am not going to tell her anything,” I said before she had a chance to ask.

“Do you really think you should hide something like this from your mom? What happens if my mom talks to her about it?”

“Alissa, you better not tell your mom what happened! Do you have any idea what my mom would do to me if she found out?” I used my authoritative voice.

“Well, it's not like grounding you would teach you a lesson since you have no social life.” She flashed me her huge sarcastic grin.

“Let's just tell them both that I got so stressed out about midterms, I led you to the wrong bus to get us home?” It sounded better in my head.

She rolled her eyes. “What if they see the pictures or videos online?”

“Unless they frequent our classmates’ Facebook pictures, I highly doubt they will ever come across anything.”

“Alright, but Kitty Kat, you better pray to the God of Luck.”

“Oh, don't worry,” I sigh, “I'll just add him to my list.”

My text alert sounded, scaring us both. Alissa started laughing and said, “Ah, maybe that's him now!”

I looked down at the screen and opened a text from a number I didn't recognize. As I read it, I could feel my face turn red. Alissa grabbed my phone and read it out loud. “How about a date tomorrow night?” She texted back, reading it out loud to me before she sent it. “Who the hell is this and how did you get this number?” We both sat there staring at the phone waiting for a reply. One minute later the reply was a link to someone’s Facebook page.

“Hand me your laptop.” Alissa typed it in and seconds later went very pale.

“Do not show me. Just tell me how bad it is.” I began to feel bile rising up into my throat.

“Well, let's just say the betting is over five hundred and your phone number is written across the top of a picture of you.” She looked up at me, cringing.

“Do something! Take it down!” I started shouting out of panic.

“I can't take it down! The best I can do is report it.”

“Can't we call them or something?”

“Call who?”

“Facebook, Alissa, or someone! What the hell?”

As if on cue, my text alert went off again.

“It's never going to end, is it?” Tears started pooling in my eyes because I already knew the answer to my question. I opened the keyboard up and snapped the phone in half. “Walk with me to the dumpster?” Alissa just nodded and followed me outside.

“How are you going to explain this one to your mom since you can't get out of not telling her?”

“I'll say I lost it and I would feel more comfortable getting a new number.”

“Wow, Kat, the lies are just rolling off your tongue today. I would be impressed if I wasn't so worried for you.”

“I like Kat. A lot better than Kitty Kat. It suits me better. Let's stick with it.” I was desperate to change the subject.

“Alright, Kat it is, but whoever you decide to be, please promise to tell me the truth, no matter what.”

“I promise, Al.”

“I am in no way an Al.”

“I had to try.” I flashed a fake smile and hugged my best friend.
My only friend.

~
*~

A little luck was on my side because my mom bought the phone story. I felt bad for not telling her what happened but she had enough to worry about, or at least that's how I justified the lies. Alissa's mom must have bought the lie as well because she hadn't mentioned anything either.

School, however, had become my personal version of hell. Where I had been invisible just last week, now everyone was looking at me. The looks varied from person to person. Some were sad, as though they were embarrassed for me, but most were smirks. I found notes stuffed in my locker and boys passed me their phone numbers in the hallway. I didn't even look at what I was being passed, only holding it long enough to find the nearest trash can.

I met Alissa in our usual spot before we headed into the lunchroom.

“It's Friday, it's lunchtime, and we only have to get through half the day before spring break!” She seemed very excited even though I knew she didn't have anything fun planned besides sleeping in all week. She probably needed a break as much as I did from all the attention we’d been getting.

Alissa had been shooting down questions all week from guys inquiring how to get me to go out with them. I lost count of many guys she told to “kiss her ass.”

Matt had stayed by her side as much as possible and even “stood up for” me himself. Any time someone would approach me, he would protectively put his arm around my shoulder. He was so big, no one dared to say anything.
He really is a nice guy.

“Hey! Hey, you!” I looked up at some girl dressed in black with black hair and black eyeliner. She was staring straight at me and I just stared back. Nothing about the girl screamed friendly.

“Yes, I'm talking to you, you little slut. You better stay away from my boyfriend or STDs won't be the only thing you have to worry about.”

I had no idea what to say so I just kept staring at her.

Matt spoke for me. “What makes you think she'd even talk to your boyfriend?”
How does he stay so composed?

“Yeah, what the hell is your problem?” Alissa asked. Matt had to pull her back down as she tried to stand up. She ignored them, though.

“Don't play stupid. I saw him stuff a note in your locker and if you think for one second I'll lose him to your slutty ass, think again.” She turned and walked away leaving me still speechless. Her two friends greeted her with high fives and one of them flipped me off before walking away.

“Ummmm,” was all I could muster up.

“You know, what I don't understand is, everyone knows you're a virgin but now they're calling you a slut? How can a virgin be a slut?” Alissa laughed her nervous laugh and Matt just shrugged.

“Matt, what is the deal with guys wanting to be with a virgin?” He looked at her with an “oh shit” expression. “Don’t you boys have any self-respect? How about respect for girls?” She pushed Matt’s hand away and turned to face me. I appreciated her trying to take the attention off me, but my stomach started to gurgle.

“Are you okay, Kat?”

“I think I'm gonna be sick.” I grabbed my backpack and hurried towards the bathroom with Alissa right on my heels.

Alissa

I followed Kat into the girl’s bathroom needing to make sure she was okay but also to deter anyone from following her in to give her more grief. She slammed the stall door shut and began dry heaving.

“Kat, you need to calm down. Just breathe slowly.” The dry heaves turned into quiet sobs. The stalls were too small for me to crawl in with her so I settled for standing on the toilet in the stall next to hers, looking over the separator. It broke my heart to watch Kat leaning over the toilet on her knees. “I could tell you all day not to care about what others think, but I know you wouldn't listen. No one knows you like I do, so please trust me when I say, you are none of those things people are saying behind your back.” I was trying to sound sympathetic, but I was angry that I had to watch her go through this.

“I'm trying really hard not to care. I really want everyone to just leave me the hell alone. I'm so mad I let this happen,” she cried out, smacking her palm down on the toilet seat.

“Kat, you didn't do this, they did. You did nothing to deserve this bullshit.” I felt like going out there and punching something or someone.

“Being invisible was lonely sometimes, but I want that back,” she choked out, looking up at me with her blotchy face covered in terror.

“You know, we could get back at them somehow. Make them feel all the emotions you're feeling. Give them a taste of their own medicine.”

“Then what, Alissa?” she asked shaking her head. “There's no way to get them all back. If they found out it was us doing anything to them, they would just make our lives that much more a living hell.”

“It would make you feel better though. I know it would make me feel better.” I tried to smile at her, but I was just too angry.

“It wouldn't make me feel better being like them. It would make me feel worse knowing I sank down to their level.” Kat stood up, blew her nose one last time and walked out to face herself in the mirror. “Ugh. Well, at least I don't wear mascara,” she said with a small smile.

“You always try to be positive but you’ve got to remember that we don’t live in a perfect world, Kitty Kat.” I went to hug her but she stopped me.

She glared at me. “Don't think I won't pull out my Kung Fu if you call me that one more time.”

“Sorry.” She let me hug her until the bell rang.

~*~

I met Kat after school in our usual spot. I texted my mom to let her know we were going to be a little late because I wanted to talk to our guidance counselor.

“I can just walk home if you need to talk to Ms. Hill.”

“Nope, we are both talking to her,” I replied.

“If this is some scheme to get me to talk to someone about what happened, you can just stop now.” Kat stopped walking in the middle of the hallway.

“Remember when we had that assembly on getting ready for college entrance exams last semester?”

“I think I only half listened,” Kat said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, I listened and the advisor said the community college has a program that lets seniors graduate a semester early. It would require us to go to summer school but it would be online. Let’s do it.”

Kat’s eyes got wide and she looked stunned. “How did I miss that? Oh my gosh, we could get out of here a whole semester early? Let’s do it!”

“I just said that,” I said sarcastically.

“Oh, this is perfect!”

“And that is why we are going to talk to Ms. Hill.”

“Hurry up,” she squealed, pulling on my arm. That was the most excited I had seen her in months.

We only had to wait a couple minutes before Ms. Hill called us in. She went over our transcripts and explained the summer program. It would be extra work but watching how happy Kat was, made it a no-brainer.

“You ladies do need to realize, though, that there is not a graduation ceremony during the winter break.”

“That’s okay,” we both said in unison.

“All spring activities, including prom, are also not going to be available to you.”

I cringed on the inside because I had been dreaming about going to my senior prom the last four years. Kat didn’t seem fazed by it at all.

“Thank you, Ms. Hill,” Kat said, grabbing the admission forms.

We walked out of the office and saw my mom’s car parked in the front.

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” Kat said, pulling me to a stop before we reached the car.

“I’m just sorry I didn’t mention it before. We could have had more time to prepare, mentally for summer classes.” I stuck my tongue out at her. She smiled, making the thought of the next few months of hard work seem less torturous.   

~*~

A couple of weeks later I was still using my anger about what happened to Kat to push myself harder at the gym. I stuck with the cardio machines when I went alone. Matt would spot me with the weights when we came together. He had Scott spot him since there was no way in hell I could lift that much weight.

Scott and I didn’t have much to say to each other. He would give me random workout tips and I’d make up stupid questions just to get his attention. I’d overheard him telling a couple of the girls from our meetings that he only personal trains those of us in the L.S.A.B. group. He’d hang around, talking to them during their sessions while all I got was directions and then he’d walk away.

I found myself becoming jealous of the way Matt seemed to bond to him. They acted like brothers while I stayed almost ignored in the background.

“Do you have plans in a couple of weeks, say on a Saturday?” Matt was using the free weights while Scott was helping me adjust the leg weight machine.

“Probably not. Why?” I didn’t even know what I was doing next weekend much less in a couple of weeks.

He smiled his big goofy smile. “Do you want to go to prom with me?”

Scott rolled his eyes at him. I just smiled because he looked so cute asking me even though it wasn’t very romantic. “Sure,” I replied trying not to look at Scott.

He pouted. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know it’s coming up fast.”

“I would love to go. Thank you for asking.” Matt walked up to me and gave me a kiss. I felt uncomfortable every time he kissed me in front of Scott. Thinking about Scott so often and not wanting him to see us kiss made me feel so incredibly guilty.

Scott finished adjusting the machine and just walked off. I looked at Matt who didn’t seem to notice. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sure he just has other things to do. Hurry up and finish your legs so we can start on cardio.”

Scott seemed somewhat moody but he had never been rude before.
I wonder if I did something wrong?

~
*~

I dragged Kat out to go prom dress shopping with me. We could both be going as juniors but there was no convincing Kat.

“I can't believe you’re ditching out on prom,” I whined. Honestly, if this wasn't Matt's senior prom, I wouldn't be going either. Kat sat in one of the big, comfy chairs next to the large mirror. I had tried a couple other stores but couldn't find anything, so I figured I would give bridesmaid dresses a shot. Future brides lined up along the floor-to-ceiling mirrors trying on dresses.

“Walt doesn’t have a date yet,” I said.

“Look, I know Matt is friends with Walt and I didn’t want to say anything, but he gives me the heebie-jeebies,” she replied.

“Okay. I’ll stop bringing him up. I don’t really pay attention to him, anyways.”

Walking out of the dressing room, trying on my fourth dress, I saw Kat's expression and knew this was the one. Her mouth formed an “O” and her head tilted from side to side looking at me from different angles.

“Holy hell, Alissa! You look amazing!” She stood up and twirled me around. The dark red dress was sleeveless and looked perfect against my black hair. The top had material crisscrossing across the bust and then tied around the back. The rest of the material just flowed down to my knees. It was so soft against my skin, I wanted to keep twirling around.

“This is definitely the one.” I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. I hoped Matt would think it was fabulous, too.

“Alissa? Wow, you look amazing!” I turned to my right and saw a girl who went to our high school, but I couldn't remember her name.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Mary,” she said with a smile.

“Thank you. This is a great dress,” I said running my hands down the soft material. I heard some laughing from behind me. A small group of girls from school came walking towards us.

“Great dress, Alissa,” one of the girls said.

“Hey, Mary, shouldn't you be shopping at the plus-size store?” one of the girls asked, laughing with the rest of them.

I looked back at Mary. She turned red in embarrassment. I couldn't keep my mouth shut or my anger suppressed any more.

“Being that you're all bitches, maybe you should go shop at the pet store.” I crossed my arms and stood there unfazed as they shot daggers at me with their eyes.

The sales woman approached and stood in front of me. I couldn't tell if she was worried about the dress getting hurt if one of them attacked me or if she thought I needed back up.

“Ladies, I don't like my customers being insulted and would appreciate it if you would please leave,” she said in a sweet yet slightly intimidating tone. My mouth dropped open as I watched the girls’ expressions change from mean to shock. They didn't say anything else as they turned around and exited the store.

Mary looked like she had tears in her eyes. “Thank you everyone. I'm really sorry you had to step in. I should probably go.” She turned around to leave.

My sales lady stopped Mary before I could. “I know the perfect dress for you. Why don't you sit down and I'll bring it right out.”

Kat patted the chair next to hers and Mary sat down while the saleslady went through the velvet curtain that led to the stock room.

“People suck,” Kat said with a straight face. I laughed while my adrenaline flow eased up throughout my body. Mary just smiled and relaxed into the chair.

“People do suck, but this dress does not and I must have it.” I winked at them both and went back into my dressing room to change back into my clothes. I took a picture in the mirror and sent it to Matt.

Matt replied, “You. Are. So. Gorgeous.”
Yep, this is definitely the dress. Too bad Scott can’t see me right now. I wonder if he would like it too? Stop it, Alissa!

~
*~

Junior year was finally over. Kat stayed under everyone's radar and I didn't have to kick anyone's ass. Boys were still trying to ask her out, but she got really good at ignoring them all. Matt graduated and decided to go to tech school in Rochester for some sort of program that had to do with computer systems.

We celebrated the last day of school by having dinner with my parents. Even though the weather was warming up for the summer, the nights were still chilly enough for the warm water, so we sat in the hot tub after dessert.

“I’m really sorry about prom,” Matt said. He got the stomach flu the day before and we didn’t end up going.

“Don’t be sorry! I feel really bad since it was your senior prom. I would have enjoyed seeing Kelly and her hoard getting kicked out because they started acting crazy.” We both laughed. “Someone posted a picture of one of the D.A.’s knocking over the punch bowl. I guess that’s what happens when you’re high as a kite!”

Matt’s smiled faded. “I’m mad I didn’t get to see you in that dress.”

“I can put it on later,” I joked. He still looked sad so I decided to change the subject.

“How's it going working out with Scott?” I tried not to ask about Scott because I was afraid I would sound too enthusiastic. I hadn't told anyone, not even Kat, but I was having dreams about him even though the only things I knew about him were what I learned hearing him talk at the meetings.

“Good. He's been working with me on upper body strength so I don't re-injure my knee. The dude has some serious skills defending himself.”

“So, what exactly is he mentoring you on?” I started rubbing his thigh with my foot.

“Right now it's mainly physical defense.”

“I thought the whole point of the meetings was to teach you to be mentally prepared so if you are bullied, you can have the strength to walk away and report what happened.”

“Ideally that is what you're supposed to do, but Scott wants to prepare me if a situation ever gets out of hand.” He brought his arm up out of the water and flexed, showing off his muscles.

“Kat wants to come to the meeting this Friday. You should introduce her to someone. Maybe a single guy?”

“Walt is single. Maybe we should hook them up?” he asked with a huge smile.

“Umm, no. I think he gives her the creeps.” I pushed off the step I was sitting on across from Matt and moved right in front him. His arms wrapped around me and I ran my hands up and down his biceps, feeling his muscles. He pulled me in closer so I straddled his lap. Kissing him wouldn't be satisfying enough right now so I let my hands wander across his chest and around to his lower back. I closed my eyes and ran my nose along his jaw line, inhaling his scent but it was Scott's face I imagined.