Destiny's Path (18 page)

‘We use the cart and leave it in a field, so we have to walk across to the barn from there.’

‘You go to church in a cart?’

‘I don’t have a carriage, just a gig and it’d not carry us all. There will be seven of us today, don’t forget.’

She counted up on her fingers. ‘Your mother, you, me, Ronan: that makes four.’

‘Plus Xanthe, Maia and Sean.’

‘Surely you don’t let servants ride to church with you?’

‘Of course I do. It’s too far to walk.’ He gave up trying to reason with her. ‘Come on. We might as well get going.’

She hung back. ‘My skirt will get dirty in a cart.’

‘Sean cleans the cart out and puts cushions and blankets in the back for my mother.’ He turned as Mrs Largan moved slowly across to join them. ‘My dear, are you sure you feel well enough to come?’

She gave him one of her faint smiles. ‘I think I should be there for Kathleen’s first church service, don’t you?’ She turned to her daughter-in-law. ‘That’s pretty material, Kathleen. Is it the latest fashion to have the widest part of the crinoline near the hem? It’s more a pyramid shape than a bell now.’

‘Yes. Papa Largan liked me to dress well and he always bought me the latest fashions.’

Conn avoided his mother’s eyes. He’d guess it had amused his father to have Kathleen look ridiculous and then force the local gentry to accept her anyway. His father had had a cruel streak.

Kathleen complained about the bumpiness of the road and the discomfort of riding in a cart for most of the journey, so no other conversation could flourish.

He saw his mother wince a few times as she was jolted, but unlike Kathleen she made no complaint. She never did.

They were among the last to arrive. He would have preferred to sit at one side, as he usually did, not wanting to upset the local worthies, but for once his mother drew him towards the front of the barn. So he sat with her and his wife on one of the benches local folk had made especially for these service, trying to ignore the dirty looks he was given by those nearby.

Livia Southerham arrived just before the service started, accompanied by Leo, who went to sit at the rear. Francis Southerham hadn’t attended for some time. Conn’s mother moved along the bench to make room, Kathleen did the same with an aggrieved sigh, and Livia joined them. She made a point of leaning across to shake Conn’s hand. He could have told her it was a useless gesture, because no one would ever accept a convict socially even though they’d do business with him. It wasn’t just here that he was ostracised; it was everywhere.

At least no one snubbed his mother. When she introduced her daughter-in-law, they were stiff but didn’t refuse to speak to Kathleen, to his relief. The women were studying her clothes avidly and would no doubt ask her about the latest fashions afterwards.

As everyone settled down, his mother pulled out her prayer book and offered to share it with Kathleen, who simply shook her head.

Conn noticed that his wife spent most of the service looking round, paying little attention to the hymns or the brief sermon.

After the service, he hurried over to the clergyman. ‘When you’ve finished speaking to people, I’d welcome your advice on a serious matter.’

The man inclined his head and Conn stepped back, knowing he had to let the other people take precedence. And anyway, he wanted to discuss the question of annulment privately.

His mother remained seated, waiting for him, and one or two of the ladies went to speak to her. Though they tried to include Kathleen in the conversations, she said very little.

‘You wished to see me, Mr Largan?’

He turned with relief to the clergyman. ‘Yes. Would you mind if we moved somewhere quieter? This is rather personal.’

The clergyman led the way to the little room just off the barn which had tools hanging on the wall and a sturdy workbench. He began to remove his surplice. ‘How can I help you?’

‘I wondered if you knew anything about having a marriage annulled.’

‘I thought you were a Roman Catholic.’

‘I’m not much of anything these days. And we all worship the same god, after all.’

‘Whose marriage are you speaking of?’

‘Mine. It’s – um, never been consummated.’

‘But your wife has just arrived here and is presumably living in your house!’

‘She turned up uninvited. I could hardly refuse her shelter, could I? We’re certainly not sharing a bed and never have done. I’m hoping to find her somewhere to stay in Perth.’

‘I – don’t know what to say. You really would be better handling this from England – or from Ireland perhaps, in your case.’

‘I only had a conditional pardon after I arrived here, so I’d have to get special permission to go back and anyway, I don’t really want to. I was hoping I could manage the annulment from here. I need to end this travesty of a marriage as quickly as possible.’

The clergyman sighed. ‘I suggest you speak to your own Bishop, Mr Largan. If you go to Perth on horseback, it’s only a day’s travel and now that you people have your own cathedral, I’m sure you can find someone there to guide you.’ He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at it. ‘Dear me. Is it that late already? You’ll have to excuse me. I need to get on the road again. I have an evening service to deliver some distance from here.’

Conn realised there was no help to be gained from this man, thanked him and went out into the barn again. He waited at the rear until the women had finished speaking to his mother, Kathleen and Livia. One of the men was talking to Ronan, smiling and waving his hands about as he described something. Presumably they’d found out Ronan wasn’t a convict.

If Conn had joined the group, they’d have taken their leave as quickly as possible, so he didn’t. He hated to see how isolated his mother was here and tried to allow her time to chat to their neighbours whenever possible.

On the way home he bit his tongue as Kathleen poured scorn on the service and so-called church, but in the end she went on for so long he lost patience and snapped, ‘Then why don’t you go back to Ireland where they do have proper churches? You certainly weren’t invited to come here.’

‘I’m your
wife, even if you are a convict! I had no one else to turn to
.’

He’d heard those words too many times already. ‘You’re
not
my wife, not in any way that counts, and you never have been. Nor are you staying here for longer than necessary. You need to understand that clearly. I’ll find you somewhere to live in Perth till we can get you back to Ireland.’

He heard some of his companions draw their breaths in sharply, but he didn’t care who heard him.

‘Your manners haven’t improved,’ Kathleen said.

‘Neither have yours.’

Behind him in the cart his mother cleared her throat and he held back further sharp words. But it was difficult. Why could Kathleen not accept that her days at Shilmara had ended?

When they got back he went out to the stables and began saddling his horse, but before he’d finished Kathleen joined him.

‘You shouldn’t ride on Sundays,’ she said.

‘Go away and leave me alone.’

She didn’t move and after a moment she said, as if he hadn’t spoken so sharply, ‘That’s a fine horse. I’d like to take him out one day.’

‘If you do, it’ll be the last time I lend you any of my horses. This one is mine. He doesn’t like being ridden by anyone else.’

She stretched out her hand and as if to give him the lie, Demon nuzzled her. It had always puzzled him why she got on so well with horses and so badly with people.

‘I meant what I said. Demon is mine.’

She let out a huff of exasperation. ‘Which horse can I take, then?’

‘None of them today. I want to go riding alone.’ He saw Sean hovering nearby and called, ‘Don’t saddle any of the other horses today. I need a peaceful hour or two.’

The old man winked and nodded.

Conn swung into the saddle and left without even looking at his wife.

The next morning he asked Ronan to come outside, where they could speak privately. ‘Will you keep an eye on the farm for me if I go up to Perth?’

‘Yes, of course. I presume the clergyman was no use yesterday.’

‘No. He didn’t want anything to do with me – I’m not only a Catholic but an ex-convict. These monthly services are supposed to be for all denominations, but he clearly doesn’t see it that way. The last fellow we had was much kinder. This one told me to go to my own church, so I’ll visit St Mary’s Cathedral in Perth and see if the Bishop can help me end my marriage.’

‘I hope he can. Kathleen’s . . . difficult.’

‘Very difficult. And Ronan . . . don’t let her drive my mother mad, and don’t let her pick on Maia and Xanthe, either. You’re in charge of the farm and my mother’s in charge of the house. Kathleen has no authority to do anything.’

‘I’ll do my best to keep her under control.’ He smiled. ‘I don’t think that housekeeper of yours will be pushed into doing anything she doesn’t think right.’

Conn smiled too. ‘No. Xanthe is a very spirited woman. And a hard worker. She’s put me in my place a time or two. But we feel extremely lucky to have her and her twin. And although Maia is gentler, she won’t stand for any of Kathleen’s nonsense either.’

As Conn was walking back to the house, his wife intercepted him. ‘I heard you say you were going up to Perth. We need some more maids here, you know. I should come with you and select them. I can ride as well as you.’

‘You’re not coming. I’m going to see the Bishop about annulling our marriage.’

‘I don’t want to stop being your wife. I can’t manage on my own.’

‘I keep telling you, you’ve never been my wife in any way that matters.’ He turned away, not wanting to start the arguments all over again.

But she shouted after him, not caring who heard her. ‘They said it in church and your father said it too. I
am
your wife and you can’t change that.’

As Conn was making preparations for his trip that evening, Bram Deagan came to find him. ‘I wonder if I could ride up to Perth with you tomorrow, Mr Largan?’

Conn looked at him in surprise. ‘Call me by my name, Bram. We’ve known each other a long time and I can’t seem to face being called ‘sir’ these days.’

‘Conn, then.’

‘Have you thought more about my offer of employment?’

Bram hesitated. ‘It’s a grand offer, but I’m minded to try my luck at trading. I was talking to the captain of the ship that brought us here and we might go in together on a venture or two.’

‘Do you have the money for that?’

‘I have a little, thanks to Ronan, who gave me his mother’s things instead of throwing them away. They might not seem much to you, sir, but I’m sure I can sell them and gain enough money to give me a start, at least.’

‘I never realised you hankered after being a shopkeeper.’

‘I don’t know what I hanker after, and that’s the truth, only that I never again want to feel as helpless as I did when Mrs Kathleen dismissed me.’

‘Ronan told me she dismissed you for speaking to him about me.’

‘Yes. The old master let her have her way and spoiled her till she thought the sun shone when he was there.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘Strange that all three of us wound up here in Australia, isn’t it? Mrs Kathleen must have been desperate to come here, though.’ He hesitated, then added, ‘She tries to hide it but she gets upset about things. I’ve seen her when she came back from rides round Shilmara, her eyes red and puffy as if she’d been crying.’

‘You’re kinder to her than she is to you.’

‘You should be kind to those born like her. It’s not that she’s slow-witted, but she is strange, for all she’s a lady and her family trained her how to behave. Very strange.’

‘Yes. They were clever and hid from me what she was like. I knew people of my class didn’t marry for love, but for a solid financial or social gain, but I never realised . . . But my father must have done. He cared only for the money. Anyway, he’s dead now and I’m going up to Perth because I’m seeking an annulment.’

‘I hope you get it, but don’t leave her on her own afterwards. She has no idea how to cope with the world outside Shilmara. She offended the other ladies on the ship and after Mrs Maguire died, she spent most of the journey on her own, just standing by the rails staring out at sea. I didn’t want to feel sorry for her, but how could you not?’

Bram’s kindness towards Kathleen made Conn feel guilty about his own longing to get rid of her, and also made the burden of providing for her seem even heavier. He still hadn’t worked out how to find her a situation where she could cope. He changed the subject, tired of thinking of his wife and the problems she caused.

‘Do you think there’s money to be made from bringing things into the country to sell? Western Australia has a very small population.’

‘Well, I’ll have a good look round in Perth and I’ll be better placed to tell you afterwards. But people here still need goods, after all. I’m not expecting to get rich, just to make a decent living. I might have to go on a voyage or two at first, to get the feel of what’s available out there.’ He waved one hand in a broad gesture.