Destiny's Bride (34 page)

Walt patted her knee. “Don’t worry, Cece, your parents will be so glad to see you the past won’t matter to them.” He hoped her parents could forgive and forget a little better than he could. Maybe time would heal everyone’s hurt.

***

Walt’s touch was different and his attitude toward her had changed. Despite his cheery and carefree attitude, Cecile sensed an inner turmoil whenever he found himself faced with reaching out to her. Actually, she was glad she hadn’t had to face being intimate with him. She wasn’t sure she could. In her mind, having relations would betray Lone Eagle.  Even though she made the decision to resume her previous life, her love for her Sioux warrior hadn’t dimmed.

Walt pulled the wagon to a halt in front of her parents’ house and helped her down. Her mother ran out the front door and nearly knocked them both to the ground.  Tears streamed down her face as she embraced Cecile. “My baby, my baby!” 

Her bear hug made it hard for Cecile to breathe.

Seeing her mother’s tears, Cecile began to cry, too. They held each other and danced around until dizziness forced them to stop. Realizing what a sight they were, tears turned to giggles.

“Where have you been? What happened to you? Why didn’t you let us know where you were? Are you okay? Her mother tried asking a million questions all in one breath.

“Mother, hold on.” The barrage of questions rivaled a round of rapid gunfire. “I’ll answer all your questions. Just give us a moment to unload the wagon and get our things inside.”

Let me at least get settled before I have to deal with the real hail of bullets.

“I’m sorry. What was I thinking?” Her mother took her arm. “Of course, come in, come in.”

Walt took the bags out of the wagon and set them on the front porch. “I’ll let you two have your privacy. I’m going to take the horses and wagon to the livery. And I think I’ll stop in and say hello to Aunt May.”

“Tell her I said hello and I hope to see her soon.”  Cecile followed her mother inside.

Thankfully, her father worked until late afternoon. She wasn’t all that anxious to face him. Spending time with her mother offered the opportunity to divulge everything, and use her mother’s response to determine what she could safely tell her father.

Cecile starting unpacking, hanging her new clothes in her old closet.  Even though her mother was seated behind her on the bed, Cecile sensed her burning stare and desire to say something. “Okay, sweetheart, tell me before I die of curiosity.”

Cecile sagged to the edge of her childhood bed and swiveled to face her mother. Nerves clogged her throat. “T…there’s so much to tell, I don’t know where to start.” She jumped right to the point where Lone Eagle found her.

When she finished the story, her mother sat in disbelief, her eyes wide and teary. “Oh, my poor little girl. You’ve suffered so.” The woman wrung her hands.

Cecile let out an exasperated breath. “Mother, you misunderstood. I wasn’t mistreated. You don’t need to feel sorry for me. If I hadn’t found out Walt was alive, I would have stayed.”

Her mother’s throat bobbed with a hard swallow. “I can’t believe you really mean that Cecile,” she snapped, her tone indignant. “You wouldn’t choose to live with savages.”

“Mother, I know it’s hard for you to believe, but you’re wrong. They aren’t savages. They’re people just like us. You don’t know them like I do.”

Cecile decided not to share her feelings about Rain Woman. Mother would never understand how her own daughter could develop maternal feelings for another.  Why cause her more anguish when she clearly wasn’t reacting the way Cecile hoped?

After a few hours of wasted breath, her mother refused to see that Cecile hadn’t been through a terrible ordeal at all.

“I can’t believe you put us through this on purpose,” her mother said, with an incensed tone. “You had choices, but you stayed?”

“I love you and Father with all my heart, but I didn’t have a choice. If I had known how to get home, I would have come back when Walt didn’t return from his trip. Lone Eagle saved my life, and I’d think you’d at least be grateful for that.”  Cecile’s frustration level reached its limit.  Before she hurled something really hurtful at her mother, she stormed from of the room, down the stairs, and out the front door.  She took deep breaths to calm herself; her grip on the porch railing so tight, her knuckles turned white.

***

At precisely
three o’clock Walt strolled by the bank on his way back from his aunt’s house. Harvey Palmer, the ever punctual man, stood locking the front doors of the bank.

“Mr. Palmer. Nice to see you.”

Harvey’s eyes went wide and a smile spread across his face. “You’re here already? That means Cecile is home!”

“Yes, sir, I delivered her hours ago.”

The banker joined Walt for the walk home, setting a rapid pace to get to his daughter. He was breathless when he turned to Walt. “Where has my daughter been? Is she well? Why didn’t someone let me know you’d arrived?”

Walt simply smiled. “I’ll let her answer all those questions, and I’ve been to see my aunt so I don’t know why they didn’t send you word.”  He quickened his step to keep up. “Cecile and her mother were so excited to see one another I thought they’d never stop crying. She’s looking forward to seeing you, too. But, I do hope you’ll give Cecile a little space. She’s been through a very difficult time.”

“Difficult how?”

“She’s been living with Indians.” Walt couldn’t think of anything other than truth. The man had asked a direct question, after all.

Harvey Palmer’s face shriveled into a disgusted sneer. “I can only imagine what she must have experienced at the hand of savages. My poor, poor little girl.”

Walt bit his tongue; a habit that’d become all too frequent of late.

***

Her father entered the living room, rushed over and swallowed her up in a giant hug. “Oh, my darling Cecile, you’re home! I’m so happy. Your mother and I missed you so much.”

Kissing the top of her head, he spoke words of endearment Cecile had never heard from her father’s lips. She always knew he loved her, but hearing the actual words reduced her to tears of joy. He seemed somewhat mellower than she recalled.

He gently broached the subject of her time with Indians, evidence to her that Walt had filled him in on her whereabouts, but strangely, asked very few questions. Whatever the reason, not having to tell the story all over again eased the tension keeping her neck rigid.

Her heart still ached from missing Lone Eagle and Two Clouds, and talking about her time with the Indians made the pain worse. Relaying the saga also filled her with guilt about lying to Walt about his child. The burden was too much to bear. Now she had to deal with the fact that her parents would never know their only grandchild. Had her decision to leave him behind been the right one?

Her only choice now was to focus on the present and not dwell on the past. Thankfully, her mother’s announcement of supper interrupted Cecile’s morose thoughts. She forced herself to smile as she joined the others at the table. The aromas were tantalizing but did little to stir her desire to eat. She feigned hunger, smiling at her mother and ladling mashed potatoes into her plate. “The food smells wonderful. Just as good as I remember.”

The conversation during the meal revolved around the bank, Aunt May, and anything except her experiences. Cecile was thankful the questioning had stopped, at least for now. While she listened to her father and Walt talk about the sale of the ranch, she agonized over the feelings of emptiness she felt in this place that was once her home.

Chapter Forty-one

After dinner they went into the living room to have coffee. Her mother carried the pot on a sterling silver tray. “Cecile, remember Grandma’s tray? You always loved it so.”

She poured the hot aromatic brew into pretty china cups that sat next to matching sugar and cream containers. All the while, Cecile reflected on the last time she’d been in this room--the day she’d married Walt. She glanced at all the familiar things, trying to find a fit. She no longer felt like the same person. Would life here ever feel familiar again.

“Would anyone care for a sliver of cherry pie?” Her mother’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“No thanks, Mother, I’m still full from dinner, but I will have another cup of this wonderfully rich coffee.”

While the four of them sat around making small talk, Cecile waited for a dreaded pendulum to swing, changing the topic to her.

The conversation turned to future plans. “So Walt, now that you’ve sold your place, what are your plans? Any chance you’ll be settling closer to Silver City?”  Her father winked at her.

“I do have hopes of finding a place nearby so Cecile can spend more time with her mother. If I hadn’t moved her so far away in the first place….”

Cecile moved closer to Walt on the sofa and put her hand on his knee. “Nothing was your fault so please don’t blame yourself.”

If he kept bringing up the past, her father was bound to start asking questions.  She’d rather her mother reveal the story later—which she was sure to do.  Besides, Cecile was getting agitated at being treating like she’d been to hell and back and she didn’t need one more person to pity her. What didn’t they understand? What might have been hell to them had turned into heaven for her.

Her father reached into his vest pocket and produced his watch. “Well, folks, it’s bedtime, nine o’clock.  Goodnight.”  As was his schedule, he promptly went upstairs.  Some things hadn’t changed at all.

Cecile was weary, but hesitant.  She’d have to share a room with Walt again. He hadn’t made any suggestive moves toward her during the trip, but she wondered how long it would be before she had to face being intimate with him. She swallowed her fears and stood.

Her mother kissed her on the cheek. “It’s so wonderful to have you home, daughter. I freshened up your bedroom with clean linens so it’s all ready for you and Walt. You both have a good night’s sleep.”

Yawning, Mrs. Palmer followed her husband.

Feeling extremely awkward, Cecile turned to the mantle and fingered the decorative ceramic pieces there. Walt fidgeted on the sofa.

She might as well face it.  They were going to share a bed. 

A deafening silence engulfed the room.

Why not go ahead and ask him?

“Are you sleepy?”

Standing, Walt stretched and yawned.

I guess that means yes.

Cecile started upstairs with Walt trailing behind. She opened the bedroom door and memories flooded back. She’d been so busy unpacking earlier, she hadn’t noticed that her porcelain dolls were still on the dresser, and everything looked just the same. The bed had been turned down, and the smell of talcum permeated the room. “My mother always sprinkled powder between the sheets. She says it gives the bed a fresh smell.”

“It sure does smell good. Boy howdy, am I tired.” He gazed at the floor as if waiting for some indication of where he was expected to sleep.

Cecile went into the dressing room and pulled the curtain behind her. She changed into the nightdress Walt had bought her and dashed for the bed. Perhaps if she hurried and covered up, he wouldn’t get any ideas. She jumped between the powdered sheets, sending the loose talcum spiraling into minor dust storm. She turned toward the wall and hugged her side of the mattress, praying he’d just lie down and go to sleep.

***

Walt didn’t know what to do; his options were either the bare floor or with her. Not seeing any spare blankets, he perched on the edge of the bed and took off his boots. He stood, dropped his pants, pulled his shirt over his head, and collapsed back onto the mattress in his underwear. “Boy, it sure feels comfortable to be in a bed again.” His attempt to ease the tension failed.

Hearing no response, he reached over and blew out the lamp. He thought he heard her begin to snore. He listened. Every once in a while Cecile made that little purring noise he remembered. He reflected on all the nights they’d spent in their narrow, sagging bed, the passion of their lovemaking, and the lusty thoughts they shared with each other. How could they get those feelings back? After all, he still loved her, didn’t he?

He moved closer to her backside and cuddled next to her. Putting his arm over her side, he fondled her breast. She moaned momentarily, as if it hurt, but didn’t move. Driven by the need to test his feelings, he pulled her onto her back and pushed her nightgown aside. He started kissing her neck and moved to her chest. Gently sucking on her hardening nipple, he was unpleasantly surprised when his mouth filled with a warm, strange-tasting liquid. He immediately jerked away and swallowed.

***

In sleep, Cecile’s lips curled into a smile at the feeling of her son tugging at her breast, but as she came awake, reality slapped her. It couldn’t be Two Clouds. She’d left him behind. Her sleepy eyes flew open. “Oh, my God! Walt, what are you doing?”

The moonlight streaming through the open curtains provided enough light to see his face. He knelt above her, wiping his lips with back of his hand, his brow furrowed. She decided not to say anything. Instead, she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep as quickly as she could. It was a long time before she heard him snoring, and longer still until she calmed enough to sleep herself.