Destiny (Waiting for Forever) (4 page)

“So why are you going to San Diego?” I still didn’t completely understand what she thought to gain by following him.

“So we can get married. I looked it up, and we can live on base and have a little house and kids. It will be perfect as long as we’re together,” she concluded with a subtle nod. I wanted to tell her that things rarely worked that way and she would have been better off finishing high school, but I didn’t know her well enough to pass judgment. Instead, I tried a different tack.

“Where do your parents think you are?”

“I’m sure they know I’m gone by now, but they don’t know where I went. My mom has that locator thing on my phone. On the web, they said if I took the battery out of my cell phone, they couldn’t find me that way. Then I bought my bus ticket with cash that I took out of my savings account.”

“I’m sure your parents are frantic right now,” I said offhandedly, thinking about how worried my own parents were for me, and they knew where I was. She just nodded and laid her head down against her bag. A few minutes later, she was asleep. It didn’t take long for me to follow. Unfortunately, three hours later, the whine of the feedback from the bus’s onboard speaker system woke us up. “Hi, folks, we’re pulling in to San Antonio. There will be an hour-and-a-half layover while the bus is serviced and we take on more passengers. Please make sure to take all of your belongings with you into the station. Thank you.” The nasally voice then fell silent. We were barely able to hear the voice over the crackling of the speakers, but it was at least understandable. It seemed like we had only just stopped in Houston, but I was glad to get off the bus and stretch.

If I was lucky, they would have a coffee shop with some of that caramel coffee like I’d had in Houston. I had a feeling I was going to need it.

“S
O
EXCEPT
for that letter, you haven’t heard from Jamie in over a year?” Sarah asked a few hours later. When we boarded, she wanted to hear all about going to California and looking for Jamie. Her voice overflowed with sympathy. It was as if she was trying to imagine how she would feel if she hadn’t heard from her boyfriend in over a year. The ache in my chest had gradually intensified as I told her about my relationship with Jamie. She had been honest with me, so when she asked me why I was on my way to San Diego, I didn’t have any reason to lie to her. Ever since the bathroom incident in Houston, she had been a constant by my side. We’d had breakfast together in San Antonio and talked about music. She and I had similar taste, though hers tended to stray a little too far toward pop where mine leaned more toward alternative.

“No, I haven’t. I figured out from his letter that his parents put him in some kind of….” I looked around, making sure no one was listening, and whispered, “Gay rehab.” Resuming normal volume, I added, “I have no idea where to even start looking once I get there, but he’s my whole world, and I have to do everything I can to find him.”

Sarah pulled her feet up underneath her in the seat and twirled her straight blonde hair around one finger. “You’ll find him. I know you will,” she said as if there were no way I could fail. Her optimism was nice but sorely misplaced. Chances were good that I would never find him, but I refused to think about that possibility. I had the address of the rehab center, so I knew I at least had a place to start.

“What about you? What are you going to do when you get to San Diego?” I asked her gently, turning the subject back to her so I didn’t have to talk about Jamie anymore. My heart hurt more with each passing hour, knowing that he was getting farther and farther away from the place where I would start looking for him. There were millions of people in San Diego; I had no idea how I was going to find just one.

“I don’t know. I’ll go over to the training center and see Ryan, I think. He’ll know what I should do from there.” She looked uneasy, like she’d gotten on the bus and not thought that far ahead. I hoped she had enough money to find a place to stay.

“What if they won’t let you see him, or if he’s been transferred?” I asked gently, and she blanched.

“They can’t have transferred him, he would have told me,” she said, but her voice had lost the confidence she’d spoken with earlier.

“You’ve been on the road for a couple of days, and it takes a couple of days for mail to get from California to Florida. Even if he’d sent you a letter, it might be sitting at your parents’ house. Does he even know that you’re coming?”

“I…. No, he doesn’t,” she admitted, and I turned all the way in my seat to face her, leaning my back against the bus window and taking her hand.

“Sarah, you’re not old enough to get any kind of job to support yourself. Your boyfriend doesn’t know that you’re coming and may not even still be in San Diego.” She started to interrupt me, but I held up a hand. “You have parents that love you and are probably worried sick about you. I’ve been in foster care all of my life, Sarah. You have no idea how lucky you are to have them. Whether or not they like Ryan, they just want what’s best for you. But Jamie and I are both adults, and you’re only sixteen. If you want my advice, I think you should put your battery back in your phone and call your parents. When you turn eighteen and Ryan is more established in the Marines, you’ll have a stronger place to start.” I took a deep breath and tried not to think about the fact that I had just told her to do exactly the same thing my family and friends had tried to tell me all last year. I should stay in Alabama, go to college, and start out looking for Jamie with a stronger foundation. The difference between Sarah and me was that I had a plan and I was an adult, or so I tried to tell myself, anyway.

“I can’t call my parents; they’ll be furious,” she whispered, and for just a moment, she looked much smaller and much younger than sixteen.

“Maybe later, after they know where you are and that you’re not hurt.” I didn’t want to bring it up, but I knew I should. “Think about what almost happened in that bathroom and what could happen to you once you get to San Diego and you’re all alone.”

“I… I don’t know,” Sarah said softly, taking a drink of the soda she’d gotten at our last stop.

“Let me see your cell phone,” I told her, wondering if she would comply. Sarah was so close to calling her parents, but I just didn’t think she could force herself to dial the phone. She looked at me for a long minute before pulling her phone and the battery out of her bag. I took them from her and popped the back off the phone. Working slowly, I gave her time to stop me, but she didn’t, and I knew I had made the right decision. Checking the connectors, I lined up the battery with the slot on the back and plugged it in, replacing the plastic back.

“Let’s just see what happens now,” I told her, guessing it wouldn’t be long before her parents called the phone. If it were Richard and Carolyn, they probably would have called every hour until they’d gotten me, even if for the first two days the phone went straight to voice mail.

She didn’t say anything else but dropped the phone in the front of her bag and pulled out a dog-eared paperback. While she read, I pulled out my own phone and clicked on Adam’s name. Even though I knew it would be better to let him get on with his life, I had a selfish urge to talk to him. I needed his comfort, especially after talking with Sarah about how frantic her parents must be and how stupid her impulsive trip was. I created a new text message and started to type.

[Brian]:
Busy?

While I waited for the reply I wasn’t sure would come, I wondered what Adam was doing. I hoped the excitement of going off to college had overshadowed the anger and hurt he felt because of my decision to leave. He’d become a good friend to me when I’d needed one, and I felt guilty about what I’d put him through. One of my biggest fears was that I had hurt him so deeply that he would resent me, ruining our friendship. It was selfish, but right then I felt so alone. As I started to put it back into my bag, the phone chirped, and I smiled in spite of my doubts.

[Adam]:
Packing to go—you save the world yet?

Smirking, I hit reply.

[Brian]:
One lost boy at a time.

It took a few minutes for him to respond, probably because he was busy fitting his whole life into suitcases as I had done to leave yesterday. God, had it really been just yesterday?
My phone chirped again, and I looked down.

[
Adam]:
How’s it going so far?

Carolyn had assured me before I left that the plan they had selected included unlimited texting, but I still wondered if I should tell Adam about the bathroom. It would be almost cruel to tell Richard or Carolyn about it because they were already worried enough about me. I didn’t feel close enough to Kyle, even though we’d spent months together while he oversaw my homeschooling. He had given me his number in case I needed it. I wanted to talk about it, and I knew Adam would understand. The whole incident had brought two things into sharp focus for me. First, and most importantly, I was alone. I’d been so isolated for the past year; it didn’t occur to me that I would feel so alone. However, as I looked back, I realized I hadn’t been isolated at all. I had been surrounded by people who loved me and whom I missed. I also realized that for the first time in my life, not only could I take care of myself, but also I could help someone else.

[Brian]:
Ok. Lonely. Got in a fight.

His immediate response took me by surprise.

[Adam]:
Kick his ass?

I let out a snort of laughter, and Sarah looked up at me. Indicating my phone, I told her what Adam asked in the text. She told me to tell him “Hell yes.” I grinned at her, and she went back to her book.

[Brian]:
Their asses actually.

Now that the adrenaline had worn off, I felt shocked but proud as I thought about what had happened. Just a year ago, I wouldn’t have had either the balls or the skill to defend myself, much less walk into that bathroom to save someone else. Not that I planned to go thank him for anything, but the one thing Mosely had done for me was force me to grow up, to be stronger.

[Adam]:
WTF?

Surprised my phone didn’t ring, it amused me that Adam was showing considerable self-restraint by continuing to text because I knew he would be dying to talk to me after that last message, and patience wasn’t one of his strong points.

[Brian]:
Two guys followed this girl in to the john at the Houston station. I helped her out.

[Adam]:
You ok?

[Brian]:
They never touched me. 
:)

[Adam]:
Idiot!

A bubbling laugh escaped me, and Sarah looked up again with a raised eyebrow. I laughed again, and she smiled. I wanted to hear his voice. It should be okay if I used a few of the hundreds of minutes loaded on the phone to talk to him. Going into my contacts, I selected his name again and hit send.

He picked up before the first ring had ended.

“Hey,” he said.

“Dude, you called me an idiot,” I replied with a laugh, trying to keep my voice down so I didn’t disturb anyone else.

“You are an idiot, but you’re still my hero. Is the girl okay? You guys called the police and stuff?” I tilted the phone, bringing the mouthpiece closer so I could lower my voice further.

“She’s sitting next to me on the bus, and no, we didn’t call the police. That would have meant missing our bus. She’s a runaway and didn’t want to draw attention, you know?”

“I know you picked up a stray when you’re barely able to take care of yourself,” he said.

“Adam…,” I started, and I heard him sigh.

“Sorry, Bri, I’m just worried about you. I’ll be good. So where are you? Still in Texas?” I could tell he was trying to keep the conversation light, so I decided to let it go.

“Aren’t you supposed to ask me what I’m wearing?” I asked, trying, almost successfully, to stifle a giggle. I didn’t want to use too many minutes, but I didn’t want the conversation to end on a tense note. My little joke worked, and his barking laughter filtered through the phone, warming me.

“I miss you,” he said, his laughter slowly dying out.

“I miss you too,” I said softly.

“It’s not too late to switch buses and come home, you know?” he asked as if he knew the direction my thoughts had taken.

“Take care of yourself at school,” I told him, knowing this could be the point where we started to fade. Once he started classes and I started looking for Jamie, we would have less time to keep our friendship going.

“I’ll be just fine. It’s you that needs to be careful. Please e-mail me every once in a while and let me know you’re okay?” His voice was heavy, filled with a sadness I could almost feel. I was about to reassure him when I heard another phone ringing.

It was Sarah’s phone.

She looked at me, startled, and I told Adam I had to go. I would call him when I got to California. Hanging up quickly, I watched as she pulled the phone out of her bag with shaking hands.

“It’s my brother,” she whispered, and with one last scared look at me, she answered it.

“Hey, Charlie,” she said quietly and then held the phone away from her ear as he yelled in response, asking her where she was.

“P-please don’t yell.” She was stressed out and scared, trying hard not to cry. She knew that her plans to reach San Diego were over, and she was afraid of what was going to happen next. Charlie’s voice was softer when he spoke again.

“I know, Charlie. I’m sorry…. Uhmmm… I’m in Texas, just past San Antonio.” Charlie raised his voice in disbelief but then quieted again as he tried to help her decide what to do.

“I’m scared to call them. They’re going to be so mad…. They did?” She turned to me and repeated, “My parents called the police. I am in so much trouble.” Her face crumpled, and I reached over to hold her hand.

“Your parents obviously love you a lot. You need to call them and tell them where you are,” I told her.