Destiny Mine (19 page)

Strong Rock greeted them upon their return. “It is a good day, my son; success was yours. My pride and joy are large. We thank you.”

Kionee noticed the look in his eyes and heard the wistfulness in his voice which revealed how much he
missed the stimulating hunt and the thrill of victory. She knew he tried to accept his fate without becoming bitter, but it was hard for a man to be almost helpless in a normal male role without feeling that way at times. She was glad and proud he did the best he could; she loved and respected him for doing so. She embraced him and said, “I thank you, Father, for good training. The
tivas
taught me many things, but I learned more from you when we hunted together.”

Kionee watched Strong Rock smile and his gaze mist with deep emotion, so touched by her words and hug he could not respond. His was a condition which could never be altered, but was it the same for her? Could she be denied her dreams and desires and not become resentful and distant? In all honesty, she did not know, and that admission troubled her.

Martay smiled and said, “No family has a more skilled hunter and brave guardian than Strong Rock’s. Our love, respect, and joy are as big as a mountain on this day, our son.”

“Thank you, Mother” was all she could reply at that tormenting moment to the woman who had everything she herself craved and could not have.

“I thank you, Brother,” Blue Bird said, “for the hides you helped gather. Now I can make a tipi for me and Runs Fast. Your heart is good and kind.”

Kionee forced out a merry laugh. “We must both work hard and long, for a tipi takes many buffalo skins.”

“I will tan all you can bring to me, even if I must work at night and my fingers become raw and bleed.”

Kionee wished she could recover the words that escaped her lips and heart before she could halt them. “Love should not hurt and punish, my sister; you must enjoy your task, for it is a special one.”

“That is true, my brother; you are as wise as you are skilled.”

“We must eat and sleep,” Kionee said, “for much work awaits us.”

Martay and the girls hurried to prepare the meal while Kionee tended their horses and visited with Maja.

But as she cooked, Martay worried over the unfamiliar and suspicious tone of her son’s voice and the expression in his eyes when responding to Blue Bird’s jest. Could it be, she fretted, that female emotions and urges were chewing upon Kionee this season? If that were true, who was the man who sparked them to life? Was it Night Walker, a good and acceptable choice? Or was it another man, a forbidden and bad choice? Surely, the anxious mother reasoned, that could never happen.

K
IONEE JOINED HER MOTHER
and sisters outside to construct meat-drying racks for them, ones tall enough that disobedient camp dogs could not reach them and strong enough to resist being toppled by winds. She dug four holes in the shape of a square, put a forkedtopped stake in each, and secured sticks across their tops with pieces of thong. She repeated the task many times in front of their tipi in the area assigned to them.

While she worked, Martay pegged the buffalo hides to the ground with the fur side down. Kionee knew her mother and siblings would scrape off all flesh and fat, rub the hides with brains and grease to soften and condition them, then tan them with sumac berries and other things from nature. After the skins dried, they would be twisted, pulled, and rubbed until they were pliant.

Kionee glanced at Blue Bird and Moon Child as they sliced meat into strips to hang on the racks to dry in the sun and wind. Some pieces were cut smaller and thinner for eating as jerky, while others were left thicker and longer for use in pemmican. The larger pieces would be pounded into grainy powder, mixed with fat and dried berries and nuts, rolled tight in cured deerskins, and stored in parfleches for winter food.

Strong Rock sat on a rush mat with a willow back as he braided hair into rope, sharpened Kionee’s arrowheads, and fed wood to the fire that was roasting their meal. Hanueva men helped their women with some chores during this particular season, as they did not have captives or multiple mates to handle so much work. Strong Rock smiled at Martay as she approached the fire to sprinkle crushed sage, thistle, and other herbs on the skewered meat. As his tender gaze roamed her face and body, he was glad his accident had not rendered him useless on the mating mat. He never tired of this woman or of uniting his body with hers. He knew she felt the same about him, so his heart soared with joy at remaining a man for her.

Kionee watched her mother’s actions without being noticed. She had learned which berries, greens, roots, tubers, corms, bulbs, stems, fruits, flowers, nuts, and herbs to gather; and how to smoke them or boil, bake, or roast them in or over coals. She knew how to make soups and how to prepare many foods and cuts of game. She was very familiar with gathering things for preparing paints, dyes, and medicines, which was not considered all woman’s work by her people. She liked collecting earth pigments and plants for those uses, some which were mixed with water and others with grease, and others simply dried. After meeting Stalking Wolf and yearning to become his mate one day, she made it a point to discover all she could about the new rank she craved.

The following morning, as Martay and her two daughters tanned hides and dried meat, Kionee and her father sat nearby to work on her weapons. Maja rested beside her and on occasion lifted his silver head to check out movements or noises. Moon Child was in
an elated mood on this her seventeenth birthday, as she was now considered a woman who was available for joining.

A hunter of their tribe had caught Moon Child’s eye during the recent journey. Kionee was relieved her youngest sibling was no longer attracted to Stalking Wolf and asked no questions about him. She reasoned that her second sister would be mated by the cold season which would follow the impending one. Also, another season of buffalo hunting would be needed for gathering the hides for Moon Child’s tipi. Kionee did not mind helping her sisters obtain new homes, but she experienced natural resentment at not being allowed to have one herself. After both girls were gone, that would leave only her parents to protect, feed, and clothe. Yet, she would still be a
tiva;
she would still be forbidden to join with her love.

As if thoughts about Stalking Wolf summoned him to her, two Cheyenne warriors came to visit, before the sun was high overhead. Kionee saw them approaching and had time to compose herself before she and her family greeted Stalking Wolf and Five Stars.

“We came to offer help if it is needed, and to hear of your hunt. My brother said his wounded buffalo tried to charge you.”

“Five Stars has many skills, as does Recu,” Kionee replied, “They did not allow me to be harmed. My hunt was good. Speak of yours.”

“Maheoo
gifted us with many buffalo for hides and meat. Big Hump’s mates tend them; he has four, but Morning Light is his first and best. She is the mother of my mother and the mother of Five Stars’ father. He took other mates when it was past his season to give seeds for more children, but we are as his sons. We know it is the Hanueva custom to have one mate, so her
work is much; that is why we come to offer help to our friends Martay and Strong Rock.”

Kionee was pleased he had not given anything away. “Your heart is good and kind, Stalking Wolf, but Hanueva men help with chores during this busy season. We do not hunt again until this work is done. We thank you.”

“My son speaks words of truth, Stalking Wolf. I thank you.”

As her mother responded to their generosity, Kionee noted the differences between Stalking Wolf and Five Stars. The younger male was shorter and leaner, but well-muscled and solid. His skin was darker than Stalking Wolf’s. He carried himself with the same self-confidence his adopted brother possessed. His looks would please most women, but he was not as handsome as Stalking Wolf. His black hair hung loose and spread around broad shoulders. The only marks she saw on him were scars of the Sun Dance and a red handprint on his chest.

“Sit, speak more about your hunts,” Strong Rock invited. “I can no longer do the chase; it gives me joy to hear of others’ rides and victories.”

Kionee had an odd sensation that her mother was slyly observing her with Stalking Wolf. She thought it best to take her leave for a while. “While you speak, Father, I will take the horses to drink and graze at the water,” she said.

“Keep alert for cunning Crow, my son,” Strong Rock cautioned.

“I will do so, Father. I will return after my task, Mother.”

Stalking Wolf also felt Martay’s eyes upon him, so he said and did nothing to provoke suspicion. He and Five Stars took seats on the sitting mats Blue Bird brought to them. He made certain he did not even glance at
Kionee’s departing form as he plunged with seeming enthusiasm into the tale of his successful quest.

As she led the horses away, with Maja trailing beside her, Kionee noticed that Moon Child paid little attention to either Cheyenne male. Yet, the girl kept stealing glances at a hunter nearby: Shining Star of their tribe.

While Kionee was tending her family’s horses and her own, Taysinga arrived to thank her for the unexpected help during the hunt.

“Your heart and ways are kind, Kionee. You slayed many buffalo with my markings, for I know the skill of your arrows when I see them. Others do not know my hunt was not good that sun, for my arrows were on many of the fallen. I shared the abundance with Sumba’s family and that of Tall Eagle, as was my vow in the winter camp. Tall Eagle’s mate has joined to another, so the buffalo I gave to her is enough to repay her loss. I will hunt again for Sumba’s family to fulfill my promise to them. I thank you and honor you.”

“I did not help because I believe you are weaker and slower; I helped because it was much work for one hunter to do, and you are my friend, my
tiva
brother. It is good and wise for us to help each other. You would do the same for me. Did you tell Night Walker of your great success?”

“Yes, and it pleased him. Is it wrong to trick him and others?”

“Not when holding silent helps many. You desire him as a woman desires a man?” She was surprised she had asked that bold question, and was more astonished when the older woman replied in honesty.

“It is true, but I must tell no one I hunger to mate with him. Why are we punished by our laws because we were born to families without sons? We are women; why can we not have the joys of being mates and mothers?”

“I do not know. If there were no
tivas,
only female
hunters and guardians, there would be no dangerous secret for our tribe to conceal. If those without brothers whose fathers become too weak to do their duties helped each other by tending others’ children and chores, we could still hunt for our families as needed. If an attack came, a few of us could guard all
tiva
children while the others battled enemies, so our tribe would not lose its protectors. If one or more guardians were slain in a fight, their men could take new mates. The risk of us being slain as sons is no greater than the same risk if we lived as daughters.”

Kionee noticed Taysinga’s intense concentration on her words. “Other tribes have female warriors; it could be true for Hanuevas. I do not believe it is fair for us to be the only ones to make such sacrifices. But the
tiva
laws are old and strong; I fear they cannot be broken or changed. If you wish to leave the rank and join to Night Walker, it must be done by our customs. I see no uncrossable mountain between you and your love. He is worthy of you and you are worthy of him. But I warn you, hold silent while you play the hunter. With cunning and patience, you can capture him. I hope your chase will find victory; you would be good mates; you are well matched. In your heart and head, you are a woman; that is how you should live, not alone, unhappy, and in peril. I will tell no one your secret.”

“My heart overflows with happiness to hear your words and to earn your friendship. I will do as you say and be careful.”

“I will pray for your victory on love’s battleground.”

Taysinga checked their privacy before saying, “There is a secret I must tell you. I am unworthy of your help, friendship, and respect.”

Kionee studied the female’s hesitation and was intrigued by her words. “That is untrue, Taysinga, but free your mind of its guilt and shame.”

“I am the one who broke your
kim.
I was ashamed and afraid after the Crow attack; I was angry and did not want to blame myself. I was jealous of your deeds. I lifted your spirit vessel to drop it but knew that was wrong. It slipped from my grasp before I could return it to its place. I feared to tell you or our
Tiva-Chu,
so I hid it behind others. I am sorry.”

“Regim repaired it, so do not worry. I was also angry after Sumba’s loss and spoke in cruel haste. You must forgive me.”

“We will be friends from this sun until we join
Atah
in the stars. I will help you in any way you ask of me.”

“You are good and kind, Taysinga, and I thank you.”

Days later as the seasonal chores continued, Kionee offered to watch her cousin’s two children while the anxious and weary mother tended her chores. “They wish to run and play, White Flower, and you have much to do. I will be their shadows until it is time for them to rest upon their mats. Little Weasel and Night Walker visit the Cheyenne to hear their stories and to learn tricks to battle the Crow with when we part from them.”

“Thank you, Kionee, for they are restless and distract me this sun. I must work harder to teach them obedience and patience, for theirs are small.” She wanted to say she feared her husband had forgotten his help was needed and he was too eager to learn of war and coups, but she dared not.

Yet, Kionee saw her frustrated expression and grasped the unspoken message. Since she had approached the woman, it was unnecessary for White Flower to use a talking-feather to ask permission to speak with her. As the mother gathered the active children and a few playthings, the
tiva
thoughts wandered. She felt pity for the young mother who had mated to
Little Weasel at eighteen and must have discovered too late she had made a wrong choice. It was their law that only death or an evil deed broke a union, and the guilty were banished for life. Unlike most Hanueva men, her cousin was selfish and too proud to do any “woman’s work” in any season. Kionee had observed him using skinny reasons not to do so, even when White Flower was ill or too busy. She guided the five-year-old boy and his three-year-old sister to the grass on the edge of their camp. She sat down to observe them while they raced about chasing a deerskin ball stuffed with buffalo hair. She wished she was watching her children, hers and Stalking Wolfs, but that joy was impossible. In misery and longing, she stroked Maja’s neck for comfort. The silver wolf licked Kionee’s hand and rubbed his ears in her palm as if he sensed her anguish and need for solace.

The children came to sit before Kionee and rest from their exertions. She smiled at the sweaty and dirty youngsters. “Your throats must be dry. Do you want water?” Both nodded in eagerness. She gave them drinks from the bag she had brought along, as the air was warm today.

“Are you a great hunter and fighter like my father?” Weasel Boy asked.

Kionee assumed her cousin had boasted of his prowess to them. “I am a good hunter and guardian, but a man must know when to battle and when to return home without challenging an enemy. It is wrong to war if truce can be made. Peace saves
the
lives of those we love, so we must seek it first and fight only to defend our lives and camp. A man is not weak and unworthy if he retreats from foes who are larger and stronger. With hunting, a man must not take more animals than his family needs and he must not slay any creature he does not use for food and garments and tipis. No woman,”
Kionee said to Weasel Girl with a smile, “should pick more berries or plants than her family can eat.
Atah
and our laws tell us it is bad to waste His creations, and there are others to be fed and clothed. If we gather all of one animal or plant, there will be no seeds to grow more in seasons to come, and Hanuevas will not survive.”

“Father says we can take what we need from the Crow. They are bad and must be punished. We must not be afraid and run when they raid us. Will he fight them when he rides from camp? Will he kill many Crow?”

Kionee was stunned and alarmed by the things Little Weasel was telling his susceptible and trusting son. She guessed the child’s defiance came from his mother telling him to walk a path of peace and self-sufficiency when his father was telling him it was braver and easier to ride a trail of theft and coups. She wondered if her cousin’s parents and her grandparents knew about this. Surely Four Deer, Swift Fingers, Long Elk, and Yellowtail would not allow such things to continue if they were aware of the problem. Since their grandparents lived with his parents, they might not know. Perhaps she should whisper into her father’s ears so he could enlighten his brother and father. She must be cunning as she did not want more trouble between her and Little Weasel.