Destiny by chance: A Contemporary Romance Fiction Novel (15 page)

They walked in relative silence, not knowing what to say to one another.  Quietly distant.  Bill sensed it was what Destiny needed or maybe even wanted. Sydney, however, chattered on and on about everything from what book she was reading in school to the astronauts in the space station to how the food chain worked.  Every so often Sydney would point out wildlife to them: rabbits, squirrels, geese, and deer.  Then she would ask which ones they had eaten before and how they tasted.  They traveled the still green meadows, past grazing herds, ponds filled with waterfowl that didn’t seem to realize yet it was nearing winter, and to the horse barns.

And then she started singing… every Disney song she knew, all of them dramatically, off-key
and
getting at least a third of the lyrics wrong.  If nothing else it made Bill and Destiny smile, which definitely lightened the mood.  For the moment.

When they arrived back at the stable Sydney was bursting to show off the many things Destiny had taught her, including how she could coax Peanut to canter and back up.  Bill hesitantly stayed at the corral with Sydney, while Destiny rode to the barn.  Destiny hurriedly unsaddled Daisy.  But she wasn’t fast enough.  Bill walked into the main corridor of the barn just as she finished brushing the mare down.  There was an awkward tension as Bill walked up and stood before her.  Sydney bounced into the barn and stood beside her father. 

“Syd, why don’t you go on in and help your Aunt Jessie with breakfast?”

“Okay, Daddy.” Sydney turned to Destiny.  “Are you staying for breakfast, too?”

Destiny stumbled for what to say.

Bill could tell she was caught off-guard and intervened.  “Honey,” he said, petting her hair.  “Go on.  I’ll be there in a little bit after I get the horses undressed.”

“Undressed?  Daddy, you’re so silly.”

“That I am.”  Bill winked at her and patted her bottom.  “Go on now.”

“Bye, Dee.” Sydney threw herself into Destiny’s arms.

“Bye, Honey.  Thank you for keeping me company.”

“Sure.  Anytime.” She turned, and with a wave of her hand, skipped toward the main house.

Destiny slid her hands nervously into her back pockets.  When Bill turned to her, their eyes met.  She suddenly dropped her gaze, looking down as she shuffled her feet, stirring the dirt and hay on the concrete floor.  When Destiny looked up again, his eyes were still on her.  She could see the sadness in them.  She could tell he was wrestling with what to say as much as she was.  Bill walked past her and tied the horse and the pony to the stall slats.  Slowly, he began to unsaddle Peanut and put the saddle and blanket into the tack room.  Occasionally he would glance at Destiny, who looked as uncomfortable as she could be.  Bill took a brush from the shelf and held it out to her.

“May as well make yourself useful,” he grinned, trying to break the tension.  When she didn’t take it right away, he persisted, shaking it.

Destiny stood numbly in the same place, and looked down at the brush and back up at Bill.  Tentatively, her hand moved to accept it.  She stepped to Peanut and began to brush him.  One hand slowly stroked his thick winter coat, as her other hand followed each motion with the course brush.  “Hey, boy,” Destiny murmured.  Peanut’s ears perked up, and he turned his head to her.  Then the pony began nibbling on her sleeve.  “Stop it, silly!” she exclaimed, tugging her shirt from his mouth. 

Bill began unsaddling Beau, his eyes spending more time on Destiny, than on his task at hand.  She was a distraction, much like she had been at the Senior Center.  After putting everything up, he started brushing the gelding down as well.  Bill tried to understand the distance that now hung between them.  It was unbearable.  Fifteen minutes later they finished brushing both horses, took them to their respective stalls and then met again in the corridor. 

Destiny found it hard to look him in the eyes any longer, so she slid her hands into her back pockets, again, and looked away.  She wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words.  The emotions welled in her heart.  In her throat.  In her eyes.

“It’s been really good seeing you,” Bill said, with as much sincerity as he could muster.  How does one convey all their emotions into one small awkward sentence? When she didn’t look up or respond, he finally turned toward the house.  “Well, I guess I’ll see you later,” he sighed, walking away.

“Thank you.”

Bill turned back to her.

“For the cards,” she said faintly, “and the flowers.”  Destiny grinned a crooked grin.  “And the messages.”

“You’re welcome.”

Destiny looked down again.  “And I’m sorry.”

Bill took a step toward her.  “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Destiny bit her lip to keep it from trembling.  “I have
a lot
to apologize for.”

Bill saw the tears in her eyes, and his heart broke all over again.  He stepped closer to her.

Destiny continued to avert her eyes.  “I haven’t…” she began.

Bill stood in front of her, watching the tears fall, wetting the dirt and hay at her feet.  Slowly, he raised his hand to her cheek, but she flinched, taking a step back. 

Bill stepped away immediately, his heart sinking; feeling her pain.  He wanted to kill the bastard that had stripped the spirit from her so completely.  “Destiny,” He reached for her hand.  This time, she didn’t move away.  Bill gently took her fingers into his.  “If there’s anything—” he began, taking another step to her. 

Just the touch of his hand tore down the wall she had so carefully erected for months.  Her body suddenly began convulsing with sobs.  Destiny shook her head and pulled her hand from his.  “I can’t!” she cried, as she looked into his eyes once more.  “I’m sorry.  I can’t.”  Destiny turned and ran from the barn.

Bill took a step to follow but then stopped.  When he heard her starting the car, he suddenly raced after her.  As she was backing up to turn around, he placed himself in her path, so that she had to stop.  She leaned forward on the wheel, staring out the windshield at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.  He heard her put the car into park, then turn it off.  He could see her chest heaving, wracked with emotion.  Destiny dropped her head to the steering wheel.  Bill stepped to the passenger door and tried to open it.  It was locked.  He leaned over and peered into the passenger window, tapping on it with his finger.  After a few moments, Destiny glanced at him, then unlocked the doors with the power switch on her door.  Bill opened the door and slid into the seat beside her.

Destiny didn’t face him.  Couldn’t face him.  She stared numbly at the dials on her dash.  God, she hated feeling this way.  She just wanted it all to stop.  The anger. The desperation. The sadness.  She didn’t know how much more she could bear.  Lisa and Andy had been supportive; trying to help her find the strength, and yet it never came.  Her doctor insisted she try and get back into her routine, but now here she was again; exposed and vulnerable.  Everyone was sure of what she needed to be doing to heal.  At the same time, everyone else was trying to deal with what had happened to her.

They sat there for many minutes in silence.  Finally, she wiped her nose on her long sleeve, and, not knowing what else to do, sat back and dropped her hands to her side.  She turned to him, her eyes red, her cheeks wet.

Bill smiled a sad smile as he took her hand.

Why was he here?  Why did he insist on being so nice to her? He barely knew her. Why did he care?  Destiny looked down at their hands, lay her head back against the headrest and stared forward.  Why was it that just holding his hand made her want to bare her soul?  Destiny closed her eyes, causing the tears that had been welling in them to stream down her cheeks.

“You know, Harry and Ralph never won a game before you showed up that first night.  Ever!” he stressed.

Destiny turned to him, perplexed.

“And they haven’t won a game since you stopped coming,” he said, nonchalantly.  Bill’s smile grew.  “And they insist that it’s your fault.”

“Do they now?”

“Yup,” he grinned, turning sideways in his seat to face her.  “And they’ve told us that if we don’t get you back soon, then they are going to boycott the games.  And they’re working on dozens more guys to join them.”

Destiny released his hand to wipe her face.  Then she dropped her hands into her lap and looked down at them.  “Boycott, huh?”

“Yeah, and those two guys have a lot of pull.”  Bill shook his head.  “You wouldn’t want to be responsible for breaking hundreds of guys hearts, would you?”  He exaggerated his expression to lighten the mood.

She chuckled quietly to herself.  And suddenly, albeit for a few brief moments, she was no longer sad.  She was no longer angry.  Destiny glanced at him, unable to meet his eyes.  “Thank you,” she said almost in a whisper. 

“For what?” he asked.  When she didn’t answer right away, Bill’s expression became serious. “You don’t realize how much pull these guys have.  I had to find and tell you before they started picketing the Bingo Hall.”  He grinned. “How would it look?”

He was trying so hard.  And it was working.

“Never underestimate the power of a bunch of veterans carrying signs.”  He shook his head.  “I could see the headlines now,
Destiny or Fate!
” he said, moving his hands above him like a banner.

“Okay,” she finally said, placing her hand on his.  She smiled slightly.  “I got it.” She sighed, then looked up into his eyes.  “Thank you for trying so hard.”

Bill squeezed her hand.  “Anytime.”

When the District Attorney and Destiny’s attorney had first contacted her about her case, it was one day short of four months after the rape.  They felt they had enough evidence to present to a grand jury.  There were many factors in the prosecution’s favor: sufficient forensic evidence and dozens of character witnesses for Destiny.  Her OB-GYN and her psychiatrist offered to testify as well.  The District Attorney’s office had subpoenaed the two female former employees since it had become apparent after their individual interviews that they had more than likely been assaulted by Winston as well.

The DA had a strong case but stressed that Winston’s attorneys were digging in, determined to fight the charges.  Destiny’s attorney wanted to make sure she was ready for what was to come.  Rape trials were notorious for dragging the victim through the mud as much, if not more, than the alleged perpetrator.  And although there was virtually nothing they could do to tarnish Destiny’s character, they were going to attempt to do just that.  They would allude to illicit behavior, assume secretive promiscuity, and even outright lie, if necessary.  Anything that would cause reasonable doubt and tilt the scales of justice in their favor would be considered fair game.  They were paid for results so that they could call it a win and call it a day.

The lead investigator and prosecutor came up with a strategy which they had proposed to her attorney but needed her permission to implement.  So far, the rape had not been publicized.  The prosecution wanted to strike first, making the first public announcement that divulged Winston’s name.  They felt they had enough evidence to call Winston a serial rapist, and felt that if they did so in the papers, there would be others who would recognize him and come forward.  But they had to be sure that Destiny was willing to see it through to the end because the press would eventually get her name.

Destiny asked them to give her until Monday for an answer.  It was Friday.  And it was the first day she was going to attempt to go back to the Senior Center.  At least, that was her intent before the call.  It had taken her this long to build up the nerve to be around that many people at once—not to mention that it was a last-resort instruction from her psychiatrist.

In the weeks since running into Bill at the farm, she had gone shopping at a mall, and she had gone to a movie by herself. 
And
she started taking Bill’s phone calls.  Only that wasn’t on her doctor’s list of things to do.  Dr. Villarreal told Destiny from the beginning that there were things she should do to heal, things she needed to do to heal, and then there would be things she would want to do on her own.  Carolyn commended her for doing that one on her own.

At first, Destiny and Bill didn’t talk much when he called. He tried not to overwhelm her all at once, limiting himself to one call a day.  At first.  Sometimes he would call to tell her good morning or maybe to say goodnight.  Sometimes he’d ask her how her day went. Mostly he called just because he wanted to hear her voice.  And she had to admit, she started wanting to hear his.  Gradually, the calls would last more than a minute or two.  They were comforting, and they were becoming comfortable.

Destiny shared with him how, for the first time in years, she wasn’t teaching.  She had taught in summer school, but somehow she didn’t feel she was ready to take on a full class schedule.  Rita was disappointed, but understood and supported her decision.  However, now Destiny spent so many of her days volunteering and working at the school in a variety of capacities, from organization sponsorships to helping at various school events.  Now, she spent almost the same amount of time, if not more, at work daily.  So, between that and riding and her book club, she was staying busy.  Bill invited her for a crappy cup of coffee once.  Destiny turned him down.

She had now done something every week for six months that her doctor had encouraged her to do, and yet, she was apprehensive tonight, walking into the Senior Center.  She knew these people.  All the other weeks she was going out amongst strangers, mostly.  These people were her friends.  And other than her few closest friends, she had avoided the rest.  Until now.

Destiny chose the timing of her arrival carefully; the after-dinner crowd was now meandering in, which would allow her to avoid the down time before dinner that would make for questions and small talk.  She nervously parked under the light, stepping from her car, then locking the door.  She took a deep breath, feeling her hands already sweating.

Bill anxiously waited for her at the door.  It had been two months since he’d last seen her at the farm.  He remembered watching her drive away that morning, never knowing if his words had meant anything to her.  Not knowing if he’d ever see her again.  The first time she answered the phone after that day, she sounded so fragile; her voice faint, almost a whisper.  He was careful not to ask her too many questions, to try and talk as if they were old friends.  Bill wanted to give her time; time to adjust.  Time to heal. 

No matter how hard it was, he didn’t show up again to ride when he knew she was there.  He did, however, allow Sydney to stay there each weekend.  Then he would conveniently arrive earlier than usual to pick her up.  He knew it was obvious, but it was lost on her since she had already gone by the time he arrived each week.

When she walked across the parking lot toward him, he smiled.  But, more importantly, he saw
her
smile.  His heart beat rapidly inside his chest.  As she arrived at his side, he opened the door, his hand against the curve of her back.  They came to the end of the long hallway at the main hall.  He noted her nervousness and stepped in front of her to block anyone’s view of her until she was ready.

Just then, Lisa walked up to them and hugged her friend, taking her hand.  “Hey, Dee.  You look great!”  Lisa glanced at Bill and then back at Destiny.  “You okay?”

Destiny drew in a deep breath. “No,” she shook her head as she exhaled.

Lisa smiled.  “Bravery—” she began.

“—is overrated,” Destiny finished her friend’s statement.

Lisa linked her arm through Destiny’s.  “There’s a few guys more than a little anxious to see you.”

Destiny turned to Bill.

“You ready?” Lisa asked

Destiny sighed.  “Not really.”

Bill lifted her chin with his finger and winked at her.  “You’ll be fine.”

Destiny drew in another deep breath for courage and nodded at Bill, who stepped aside as if on command.  They walked forward.  Thankfully most people didn’t give her a second glance.  Others merely smiled or nodded a greeting.  She felt herself relax. 

“Destiny!” a voice exclaimed from behind.  She turned.

“Grandpa!” she said, welcoming his hug and kissing his cheek.

He stepped back from her and looked her up and down.  “You’re wasting away!” he exclaimed.

Destiny looked down.  Her clothes had been a little looser, but she hadn’t given it a second thought.  She looked back up at him and smiled.  “That’s why I came back here.”

“Nothing like fried fish, French fries, and fried hush puppies to put some meat on your bones, or is it, clog your arteries?”  He smiled.  “That the only reason you came back?”

Destiny relaxed more as she chuckled.  “No.  I missed you guys.”

Lisa released her friend’s arm.  “Work calls.” She turned to her grandfather.  “Behave,” she instructed with a wag of her finger.

“Always,” he called over his shoulder as he took Destiny’s arm.  “But if I don’t,” he whispered to her, “you won’t tell, right?”

Destiny grinned.  “Absolutely not,” she promised.

Someone called out, “Bingo!” from the back of the room, followed by cheers and grumbling all at once.

They weaved a path between tables until they arrived at two men arguing.

“You had a stupid bingo two calls ago, you deaf old fool!” Ralph exclaimed.

“Well, if you hadn’t been complainin’ in my good ear, I would’ve heard ‘em call it out, you old fart!” Harry rebutted.

Grandpa and Destiny stood behind them, smiling.

“Well, I told you, and you didn’t even listen.”

“Yeah?  I heard you.  I was just ignoring you.  You were starting to sound like my wife.” Harry chuckled.

“That’s not nice,” Destiny said, causing them both to turn.

“Destiny!” they exclaimed in unison.

She leaned forward, allowing them to each kiss a cheek.

“Our good luck charm is back!” Ralph proclaimed, the excitement showing on his face.  He scooted his chair over to allow a third chair to be set between them.

“Hot damn!”  Harry said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them.  “I feel lucky now.”

“You already won, you putz!  You just didn’t hear ‘em call it,” Ralph began again.

“Say, why don’t I buy you guys a drink?” Destiny interjected.

“Margarita!”

“On the rocks?” Destiny clarified.

“Ah, looks and a perfect memory, too,” Ralph grinned.

Destiny looked over at Grandpa, who was ogling at a bosomy young thirty-something volunteer that had just caught his eye.  He looked at Destiny and smiled.  “Be right back.”

“Behave,” Destiny said, with one brow raised.

He held his finger to his lips. “Shh.”  Then he winked and walked away.

Destiny turned from the two bickering veterans and walked to the concession stand.  There was only one person in line ahead of her.  She looked past the fully tattooed woman to Bill, who was taking the woman’s order.  He looked up from the computer, caught Destiny’s eye and smiled before looking back to the lady he was serving.  Owen walked up behind him, handing him items as he called them out.  When he saw Destiny he suddenly froze, quickly averting his eyes, ashamed.  Then he turned and quickly walked away.  Bill called her order back twice, then looked over his shoulder, realizing that his brother had abandoned his post at the counter.

Destiny’s smile faded.  She had hoped she wouldn’t see Owen, much less have to talk to him.  Lisa and Bill had apparently both told him exactly what they thought of his blind ignorance and what it could do to Destiny’s case.  If he had apologized, that would be one thing.  But he merely shrugged as if to say
“what did you expect?”
  “Idiot,” Destiny said under her breath before stepping to the counter.  When she looked up, she was met by Bill’s warm, sincere smile.

“What can I get you?”

“Two margaritas on the rocks.”

“Two Seven Ups coming up,” he winked. He returned moments later with two drinks and a plate of food for Destiny. 

Sheray stepped to the counter and smiled.  “Hey, Destiny.”

“Hi, Sheray.  Nice to see you again.”

“Sheray, I’m going to take ten and help Destiny carry this to Ralph and Harry.”

“Tell ‘em not to blame me for the lack of alcohol,” Sheray insisted, as Bill stepped from behind the counter.

Bill walked with Destiny as she made her way back to the table.  “How’s it goin’ so far?”

“Good.  It’s good.”

“Better once you let your guard down?”

Destiny glanced at him.  “Yeah.” 

“I was hoping,” he began, nervously, as they arrived at her table. “I was hoping that maybe we could go for a crappy cup of coffee.  After, I mean.”

Destiny stopped and looked into his eyes.  There was the same kindness there, the same tenderness she had seen before.  The same tenderness that had touched her heart long weeks ago.  But that was before.  Everything was
before
.  Destiny looked down sadly.  She wanted to say yes, but she was afraid.  Afraid of being alone with him.  Afraid of being expected to bare her very soul.  She looked away quickly.

As if he knew what she was thinking, he offered, “Just coffee.  We can talk, or, we don’t have to talk at all.”

Destiny turned to him and slowly found herself nodding.  “Okay.”

“Okay?” he asked, surprised.

“Okay,” she smiled faintly.  “After.”

Bill set her plate on the table between Ralph and Harry, took the two cups from her hand and placed them before the men.

Harry took a sip first.  “Damn.  They forgot the alcohol again,” he growled.

Ralph looked up at Bill.  “Gonna have to register a complaint with the management.”

“You go right ahead,” Bill replied indifferently.  “We check the complaint box every third year and only on February 29
th.
”

Ralph pointed at Destiny’s plate.  “Why did she get hush puppies?  I didn’t get any hush puppies!” he growled.

“You did so.”  Harry shook his head.

“Did not,” Ralph insisted.

“Did so.  You gave them to me.”  Harry sat upright in his chair.  “You just forgot.  Damned old fool,” he added under his breath.

“Putz,” Ralph replied.

Bill’s eyes bugged out, and he shook his head quickly.  “That’s my cue.” He turned to Destiny.  “I leave these two to you.”

Destiny ate, listening to the two men banter as they played their cards.  By the end of the evening, they had both won at bingo, thus securing her good-luck-charm status.

The last game finished at eight twenty-eight, and by nine, everyone was gone except the volunteers.  Owen left early, feigning a headache, though Lisa, Bill, and Destiny knew it was pure cowardice.  Soon he was followed by Sheray, and then Lisa, who always went back to the salon on Friday, usually working until early morning.  Bill walked Destiny to her car.  She was still planning to go for coffee, and he arranged to meet her in an hour, which gave him enough time to go home and check on Sydney.  He made sure her car started and followed her from the parking lot.  Several moments later, the lights from another vehicle flashed on.  Neither of them gave the vehicle a second glance or a second thought, as it pulled out into traffic behind her.