Destined to Feel (21 page)

‘Really? Where do they come from?’ I had no idea this place was so extensive. I imagined people being recruited from the streets for orgasm testing, lining up as if at a lemonade stand.

‘They are paid volunteers, Dr Blake. We pay them well for their time and commitment to our laboratory. Unemployment is high in Eastern Europe, as is the number of refugees looking to live further west.’

‘Oh, I see.’ It sounds like she honestly believes she works for a benevolent society.

‘And this is all focussed on your purple pill?’

‘No. We are in the business of developing drugs, Dr Blake, that’s what we do. Our purple pill is but one product line. If you’ll please excuse me, I do need to continue testing in another room now and you should get some rest in preparation for your next session. Françoise will show you back to your room.’

Clearly, I’m being dismissed again and I try to quell an unsettling feeling about this whole set-up. It looks perfectly above board, even sounds perfectly above board in the context of Dr Muir’s discussions, but I can’t shake off the sense there are sinister secrets lurking beneath the polite, professional and clinical interior. My thoughts are distracted by Françoise’s ever-friendly presence waiting by the door to escort me back to my room. Heaven knows what could happen next. Dr Muir’s convoluted, yet vague answer told me nothing. I’m not actually scared but the slightly discordant nature of this facility is putting me increasingly on alert. And here I am, venturing into the unknown…at least with sight and knowledge this time around. I would have thought I’d be used to it by now!

Once again, I’m returned safely to my room, I notice the post-orgasm glow of my sliver-framed face in the mirror. I wonder if people who don’t know me could tell? I’ve no doubt Jeremy would notice the second he glanced at my still-flushed cheeks. I wonder what he would think about everything here? Strangely enough, I don’t feel embarrassed about it. I’m sure he would be very eager to hear what I’ve been up to and I’d be eager to tell him… I feel the strain in my heart at this thought and at his absence. Why hasn’t he come for me yet? He promised. Are we so far hidden below the Earth’s surface that my bracelet has become redundant, I wonder idly, feeling its presence beneath my shiny sleeve.

Francoise stands in the doorway and smiles toward me. ‘Do you have any questions or requirements before I leave you in peace for a while, Dr Blake?’

Of course I do. ‘Will I be alone in the next session, like before?’

‘No, this will be a group session, with other paid volunteers.’ I can’t help but ponder whether the other paid volunteers were abducted from Heathrow and visions of the movie
Taken
start floating around in my head. That film is about two girls who are abducted into the European sex slave trade. Jeez, where did that come from? I think of Elizabeth and can’t imagine the horror I’d feel if that happened to her… It would be a living hell for a mother, or father for that matter. I wonder if Robert and the kids even know what’s happened to me. God, I hope not.

Hopefully, it will be over soon enough — they’ll be none the wiser and we’ll be back to a normal life, that’s my ideal ending anyhow…

‘Anything else, doctor?’ Her question disrupts my disturbing thoughts.

‘Oh, no, Françoise, that should be fine, thanks.’

‘She closes the door behind her.

I turn my attention to the brochures that have been left on a bench outlining other products Xsade is currently testing. As I flick through the information sheets, I am a little astounded to discover that some of these products already exist in the marketplace. Creams for dryness, increasing blood flow, improving the strength of the female orgasm. Depending on the volume or potency, you may require a prescription but I’ve no doubt they are readily available over the counter in most less regulated countries. I think of my friend who regularly travels to Thailand to acquire ‘household pharmaceuticals’ for a fraction of the cost in Australia.

Honestly, are we that desperate for additional stimulation that we are willing to put manufactured hormones and chemicals on our skin and our private parts? But is it really any different to what has happened for centuries with the Chinese desiring shark fin soup or deer penis for their sexual potency and aphrodisiac qualities? Should we be embracing the artificially manufactured products so that animals no longer need to suffer? I shake my head. I’m obviously not going to resolve any of these global issues now and I feel a little fatigued. Given there is not much else to distract me in the room, I lay down on the bed for a nap until the next experience begins.

Some time later, Françoise arrives to collect me and we head in the opposite direction this time, once again passing friendly, polite people who are seemingly happy to be in this bizarre facility. I no longer feel the least bit conspicuous in my slinky silver outfit and have become accustomed to my surroundings remarkably quickly considering the length of time I’ve been here. This time we enter a large circular room and Françoise escorts me to a position against the wall. There are already another five silver-suited females in the room, like me being strategically positioned by their keepers, and another has entered just after me. My body is pressed firmly against the wall, my legs and arms spread apart so no part of my body is touching another. Our keepers ensure everyone is positioned the same way — close to each other but never quite making a connection. They give each other a silent nod and depart the room at the same time as the magnetic connection between our suits and the rubbery wall fastens its grip on our bodies. It seems is if this is the position we’ll be in for a while.

Our eyes automatically scan the other faces around the room to ascertain where we are at with this, how we are feeling. As we don’t know each other at all, it’s difficult to decipher. A few look anxious, one looks excited, very excited by the looks of it. Her nipples are protruding through her suit — jeez, and nothing has even happened yet. One looks bored and another one tired. But interestingly, no one speaks.

I’m not sure how my face looks to them but I feel rather bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, intrigued as to exactly what will unfold. I don’t have to wait long before two naked people enter the room, one male and one female. There’s an audible collective gasp between us, then silence as our eyes remain fixed on the centre of the room. Soothing opera music that I can’t place wafts through the speakers as the couple stands directly facing one another, completely ignoring our presence in the room. As soon as a delicate soprano voice joins the music they begin to kiss each other, slowly and cautiously at first. They touch each other’s cheeks tenderly as they embrace, gently stroking and caressing. They look like they’re in love. Their seeming passion deepens when a tenor takes over and they explore each other’s nakedness with a greater sense of desire and more deliberate use of their hands and tongues. It takes no time before his erection is pressed against her belly and her nipples harden against his taut chest. We are close enough to sense the changes in their physiology as the level of sexual intensity increases along with the drama of the voices and music. I feel as though I’m privy to an illicit viewing of an intimate erotic opera. I can’t help but glance around the room. The silver woman opposite is mirroring the breathing of the lovers she’s witnessing and it’s almost as if she’d love to morph into the scene with them. Fascinating. The one next to her is rolling her eyes and yet another seems totally distracted, her face reddened as if she’s struggling to move her hand, which she can’t, desperately straining to wriggle her body away from the wall. Another has her eyes closed and looks rather lost in the music.

My attention returns to the lovers before me as two more naked bodies enter the room. Good grief. The music stills as if something major is going to happen and the lovers look as though they have been caught a little off guard — until they welcome the new arrivals into their embrace. The tempo quickens and suddenly the limbs of two male and two female bodies intertwine — caressing and stroking and kissing each other as though they are fused as one. I’ve seen women naked before, but not like this, not charged with sexuality like the women in front of me. And I’ve certainly never looked directly at naked women, noticing every twitch, every rise and fall of their breast, every quiver of their nipple.

The music is loud and I’m sure the oxygen in the room is being replaced with pheromones.

The scene unravelling before our eyes is impossible to ignore. The four bodies glisten with sweat and lust as the exploration of each other’s bodies deepens and intensifies and I can hear their cries over the music.

The air becomes heavy. I’ve never been this close to other people having sex before — it’s as if I’m watching something private, forbidden, and yet for some reason, it doesn’t seem wrong.

I have never been into pornography but I imagine the presence of technology or a screen might perhaps provide some kind of filter. This is raw, real and we are witnessing it with absolutely no barriers. I can literally feel the lust vibrating within the confines of the circular room, there’s nowhere for it to escape.

One woman is moaning and sighing as if it is becoming too much for her to bear. She seems desperate for touch but she is trapped, immobile as we all are, left with no choice but to absorb the sexually-charged atmosphere. I feel the knowing fire in my lower belly and my own body’s arousal in the face of such abundant desire. Every set of nipples around the room is on high alert; even the woman with her eyes closed isn’t spared, confirming there’s more than visual stimulation causing our reaction.

The music changes again. It becomes darker, edgier, and the slippery bodies disentangle from their self-created sexual nest.

Soft black ropes are released from the ceiling. The newcomers seductively separate the original lovers and deftly weave the fabric around their arms, binding their wrists together.

Arms now pinioned high above their heads, their bodies are unable to touch but their eyes remain locked. The room electrifies. The music meanders as the newcomers take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate their captives, lightly stroking their skin as if contemplating what pleasures will next take their fancy. I’m a little embarrassed that my loins and breasts are throbbing with anticipation as to what might happen, but I’m mesmerised by the scene, barely aware of the other silver-suited women wrapped around the walls. The intensity of my feelings is inexplicably linked to the bound beings at the centre of the room.

They blindfold the man and his erection immediately becomes even more rigid, leaving the bound female to watch. There is no denying she is turned on by this and I can’t deny that my arousal ramps up a notch as I feel my heart pounding faster. The male and female suck and tease him to the point of orgasm, which doesn’t take long given the previous foreplay and his body trembles and shakes. At the last second the blindfold is removed and we are left to watch the tormented face of the bound man just before he comes and he releases a euphoric groan as the woman on her knees swallows his seed in her mouth without spilling a drop, something I’ve never been able to do. She licks her lips as if she’s received a potent elixir. One day, I concede, maybe I could try it, I’ve never seen it from this perspective and it’s a powerful image…

The bound woman simultaneously throws herself back against her restraints as if she is feeling every sensation with him. They allow his limp body to recover turning their attention to the highly aroused female. She too is blinded and left to feel everything their touch incites. I can’t help but release my own whimpering moan as the memories come crashing back through my mind. Now, I’m watching as others once watched me. If I weren’t pinned to the wall my legs would have given way at this sight. My body floods with warmth and emotion that’s so intense, it’s overwhelming.

I watch as they suckle her nipples and fingers, and tongues entice her opening, lightly biting her inner thighs on the way. I am throbbing below, my own sex pulsing to the music, perfectly attuned to the bound woman’s body, to what’s before me. I was fearful of what others may have seen of me during my experience but now I’m absolutely overawed by the apparent beauty of sexual acts between consenting adults. I had no idea watching could have such an undeniable impact. I’ve never seen another woman orgasm before. Not even myself in a mirror. I’m both captivated yet quietly appalled that I can’t bring myself to turn away. I always considered it such a personal, private affair. Now, I want to see what Jeremy sees in my face, in my eyes when he takes my body to such extremes. I’m silently begging for them to remove her blindfold as they did with the man. Her moans are becoming increasingly excitable as the woman stands behind her, opening her thighs for the man; his fingers continue their play, as do his teeth on her breasts and her groans crash and bounce around the circular room. His penis is hard and fully erect and I picture him penetrating her hard and deep right now. The vision of it in my mind is so real, it takes my breath away. I can no longer distinguish between what I’m seeing and what my body wants me to feel. His fingers disappear deep into her sex, the blindfold is removed and his thumb finally ignites her orgasm. I don’t think I’ve focused on a face more in my life, as if I’m studying the mesmerising artwork of Da Vinci’s
Mona Lisa
.

It’s as though her life is suspended, breathless, still, as if some angelic force has frozen her body and mind with pleasure. The music softens, my own breathing pauses along with everyone else’s in the room, and I feel as though I’m flying with her, somehow connecting to her, until finally her breath is expelled with an intense cry, as her gratified body jolts and spasms back to life, to this reality. The music resumes with a bursting crescendo at her climax and dies off as the juice of her orgasm literally flows down her leg. Her eyes remain unfocused on the room, her body hanging limply around her. It’s only then I hear another pleasured moan and turn to see another orgasmed face the other side of the room. Absolutely extraordinary. Can that really occur? I only need to recognise my own dampness below and shortness of breath to confirm the answer to my question. I scan the room and see most sets of eyes are clouded with a lusty haze, no doubt mine included if my aching clitoris is any measure. What an experience. I feel exhausted and have done nothing except stand against a wall. None of us touched or pleasured, just watching others — the results pumped out from these suits should be truly mind blowing for Xsade.