Destined To Fall (21 page)

“Kyler,” I say quietly, pleading, “it’s not that I don’t want to marry you, I
just - ”
“Didn’t want to say yes,” he interrupts again. “I’m going to crash on the
couch.”
He pulls out of my grasp, and walks out of his bedroom, leaving me alone in
bed. I have two options here. I can leave it until tomorrow, and potentially
have him leave me, or I could chase after the stubborn man and sort this out
right now. It only takes me a split second to make my decision. I jump out of
bed, and throw on one of Kyler’s discarded shirts on my way down the passage. I find him standing next to his floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook
the city. The lights shimmer, horns sound down below, and all I can really
focus on is the ay Kyler’s shoulder’s move up and down with his every breath.
The soft moonlight shines down on him, and the sight is almost enough to
take my breath away. I take a few tentative steps towards him, and stop a few
feet behind him.
“Kyler,” I say quietly again. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence. Instead he
places his palms against the cool glass, and leans against it, hanging his head
between his shoulders. He might not want to hear me out, but I’m going to
tell him anyway.
“I didn’t say no,” I start. “I was just caught off guard. I didn’t mean for it to
come out the way it did, but you surprised me,” I wait for a response, and
when it doesn’t come I continue, “We’ve been through so much, and our relationship is still far too new to be jumping into more so quickly. I just want to
enjoy what we have now, before taking that next step.”
“You don’t have to explain Cass, I get it. I shouldn’t have asked.”
His words knock me off kilter, and I feel hurt blooming in my chest. It’s silly, considering I didn’t exactly give him the answer he wanted. I still stand by
it though. The past few weeks have been taxing on both of us, especially the
week following Robert Knight’s death. I never left Kyler’s side, and if he was
up late, unable to sleep, then I was right there next to him. It was difficult,
experiencing all of that with his father. I felt as if I’d lost a father too. It didn’t
help that news of Robert’s death spread like wild fire. Kyler and his mother
were barely able to go anywhere without being swarmed by paparazzi who
asked a thousand questions. I put my unease aside, knowing it was my life in
the media too, and did what I could to be there for Kyler and his mother. I’m
still not used to seeing my picture in the newspaper or in the tabloids, but
over the past week, it was inevitable. I’m the new woman on Kyler Knights
arm, and he’s just taken over his father’s company. It’s big news, or at least the
paparazzi seem to think so.
I close the space between me and Kyler, and press my chest to Kyler’s bare
back as I wrap my arms around his waist. He doesn’t move, but I feel the
sigh that leaves his chest. My hand rests over his heart, and I feel the steady
thump thump, thump thump, of his heart. I’ve found that it’s centers me, reminds me that no matter what’s going on around us or between us, as long as
I hear that sound I know we’ll be okay.
“We’ve been through so much,” I whisper against his skin.
“I know,” he sighs, resting his hand over mine.
My eyes flutter shut, and our breathing synchronizes, like we’re breathing as
one person. It’s strange, to feel so connected to another human being in such
a short space of time.
“I didn’t say no,” I tell him gently. “I just meant not now. We’ve just started figuring all of this out after our previous…” I swallow, wondering how to
word what it is we had before. Saying we were fuck buddies, or even
friends-with-benefits doesn’t feel right to me anymore, “arrangement. Don’t
you think we should take our time, settle into our new relationship, and just
take our time?”
Kyler pushes off the glass windows, forcing me to drop my hold on him. He
turns to face me. “Yeah.” He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead.
It feels like both a comfort and a dismissal. “Go back to bed, baby. I’ll see you
in the morning.”
My insides are screaming at me to argue, to fight, to make sure he understands where I’m coming from. Instead, I listen to him. Pressing a soft kiss
to the side of his mouth, I say goodnight and make my way back to his bedroom, where I crawl back under the covers. I can’t marry Kyler now. It’s way
too soon, and Kyler still has so much left to deal with after his father passed
away. But I can compromise. That much I can do for him.

Cassey is still asleep when I leave my apartment. It’s a Saturday, but I have a
few things to do in the office after my father’s funeral. I left her a note, telling her I’ll be back later. I don’t quite know what got into me last night, and
if I’m being totally honest with myself, Cassey’s rejection stung. But after
brewing over it for a little while longer I realized that she was right. It is too
soon. Our relationship has been nothing but a whirlwind of lust, sex, and a
stupid arrangement that flipped my world on its head. What was I thinking
proposing to her now?
I’m afraid to admit to her that proposing out of the blue like that was the
wrong thing to do, simply because my head is a screwed up place to be right
now. I’m mourning the death of the man I idolized, the man I wanted to be
when I grew up, and helping my mother grieve the loss of her soul mate and
best friend. Needless to say I’m not thinking clearly.
After spending four hours in the office, I check my phone to see that Cassey
hasn’t called or texted, and decide to take a walk back to my apartment. The
streets bustle as people do their usual Saturday shopping, but I barely notice
it. I walk in a haze, thinking about everything and nothing.
When I make it back to my apartment, it’s quiet, until I hear noises coming
from my bedroom.
“Cass?” I call out, walking down the hallway.
“In here,” she responds.
I find her standing in my closet, hands on her hips, a proud smile on her face.
“What are you doing?” I ask, a light chuckle in my voice. I’m happy to see
her, despite my inner turmoil.
“Notice anything different?” she asks, taking the few steps to where I’m
standing.
I look around, and then start noticing little things. Her clothes are hanging
next to mine, her shoes too, and her perfume bottles line my chest of drawers.
I go to the bathroom, and find all her girly face products, body lotions and
make-up taking up most of the space on my bathroom counter.
“What is all this?” I ask, turning to face her again.
“Well,” she sighs. “I thought about last night, and decided that we could
reach a compromise. I want to marry you, and be your partner in every aspect, give myself to in every way, but just not yet. So,” she gestures to everything around us, where all her belongings now take up residence in my home,
“this is me giving you what I’m ready for.”
It all clicks, and my mouth turns up into a shit eating grin.
“You moved in.”
“Is that okay?” she asks, suddenly unsure.
I press my lips to hers, and smile against her mouth. She giggles, and I swallow the sound, revel in it, in the way this woman is able to breathe life into
me, into my soul.
“It’s more than okay,” I reply. I pull away and look into her beautiful, understanding and compassionate eyes. “Welcome home baby.”

I stare at myself in the mirror. My long brown hair is pinned to the side and
hangs down past my breasts. My white gold drop earrings shine in the sunlight, reflecting shards of color on every surface. I’m wearing a white dress
with a beaded lace bodice and tulle skirt that flares mid-thigh. I feel like a
princess.
I turn my head when the door opens and Quinn walks in.
“Cassey,” she whispers, her eyes welling up with tears. “You look perfect.”
I smile. “Thank you.”
“We’re almost ready,” she says. “Are you sure you still want me to walk you
down the aisle?”
I nod, knowing I wouldn’t want anyone else to do it.
Sure, it’s unconventional, but nothing about my life has been conventional
from the day Kyler Knight blew into my life like a tornado.
Quinn smiles and checks her watch. “Okay, girly, time to go.”
I grab my bouquet of white Calla Lillies, and follow Quinn outside into the
warm summer sun. Kyler and I decided to get married in his parents’ backyard. I’ve always dreamed of a small, white wedding, somewhere green and
lush. And Kyler gave it to me. I walk down the deck stairs and hook my arm
through Quinn’s as we make our way to the isle of rose petrels leading me to
Kyler. There’s a small quartet band, playing soft music to the side. There’s no
need for chairs, but at the end of the aisle is a small arch, decorated in white
flowers. I smile at Kyler’s mother who wipes a stray tear rolling down her
cheek. Jarred is standing next to her, holding his and Quinn’s daughter, Amelia. When my gaze finally falls on Kyler, my heart stops, and stumbles over
itself before picking up again. He looks amazing in his black suit. His smile
is blinding and my body is giddy with excitement.
“Who gives this woman away?” the priest asks as Quinn and I come to a stop
in front of him and Kyler.
“I do,” Quinn says. She smiles and I see her eyes glaze over. She kisses my
cheek, whispers ‘I love you, sis’, and goes to join Jarred. It’s just the five of us,
including little Amelia, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. As Kyler and
I say our vows and promise our lives and hearts to each other, I think about
how quickly time has gone by. Kyler successfully took over Knight Media
after his father’s passing, and soon after that, I was made a publisher, the
youngest Knight Media had ever promoted. We’d shared moments of love,
passion, lust, pain, sorrow, forgiveness, and anger, and through all of it we always found our way back to the beginning.
“You may kiss the bride,” the priest says. Kyler steps forward and cups my
face in his palms. His blue eyes shine bright and fierce, and in them I find
the same peace he gives me.
“I love you, Mrs. Knight,” he whispers against my mouth. Hearing my new
name sets butterflies off in my belly, and I grin.
“I love you, too, Mr. Knight.”
Quinn and Jarred both clap, while Kyler’s mother comes to hug us. “I’m so
happy for both of you,” she says with a sniffle. I know today is bittersweet, for
both Kyler and his mother, but we know his father is still here, watching us,
celebrating with us.

After having dinner, we say our goodbyes and Kyler takes me to our
apartment. We leave for our honeymoon tomorrow, but the stubborn man
won’t tell me where we’re going. Instead, he simply said, “Don’t pack any
clothes. We’ll be naked for a week.” The anticipation made me shiver, but
now I really do need to pack something. Kyler opens the door and then
bends to pick me up. He carries me inside, and as soon as I take in what his
apartment looks like, my breath catches in my throat. There are small candles
on every surface, lighting up the space magnificently.
“Kyler,” I sigh. “This is beautiful.”
“Welcome home, Mrs. Knight,” he says, grinning. My heart hums in my
chest. Kyler walks down the hallway into our bedroom, and puts me down.
The bed is covered in rose petals, and my eyes well with tears, knowing he
did all of this for me. Kyler pulls me into his chest and kisses my shoulder
before moving his hand to the zip of my dress. His hands come around to
my torso and he slips the dress down my body. I hear him suck in a ragged
breath and smile in satisfaction. I turn to face him, and take a step back until
the back of my legs hit the bed. Kyler’s eyes travel the length of my body and
I see his want swirling in his blue eyes. I’m wearing a white lace bustier with
a plunging neckline and a matching garter belt.
“Damn,” Kyler exhales harshly. “My wife is gorgeous. Are you trying to kill
me, baby?”
I shrug, “Maybe.”
Kyler closes the gap between us, and after I remove his suit jacket, I sit down
on the bed and crawl backwards until I’m in the center.

Kyler joins me, covering me with his muscular body. He sears me with
his gaze, and leans in to press our lips together. As his mouth seduces mine
in a gentle, yet commanding caress, I realize that this moment, with me and
Kyler, was inevitable. It was never my choice. I was always
destined to fall…

“Hayley, sweetheart, you’re going to be late!” my grandmother calls up the
stairs. Of course, I know this, but try explaining the concept of time to a two
year old. Ari wriggles in my grasp, trying to crawl away from me while I pull
a little pink sundress over her head.
“Just a sec, Gama,” I shout back. “Ari’s being difficult.”
I smile down at my daughter’s face and her answering giggle makes my
heart flip. “What’s so funny, monkey pants?” I ask teasingly. “You like giving me a hard time, don’t you?” Her brown eyes brighten at the sound of
my voice and she giggles again, waving her little fingers in the air. Until five
minutes ago, I was nervous about today, but somehow Ari and her silliness
have managed to ease my anxiety. It’s the first day I’ll be without her since
she was born and as much as I’m dreading it, I know it’s time for me to restart the future I put on hold when I found out I was pregnant. Most girls
my age would’ve given their baby up for adoption, knowing they’re not ready
to be a mother at the tender age of seventeen. But I’m not one of those girls.
Despite the circumstances surrounding the untimely conception of my
daughter, I made the choice to live with the consequences of my actions and
refused to regret a single moment of my life. Looking at the little face that
so closely resembles mine; I find it impossible to wish that my situation was
any different. “Okay, Princess Ari,” I say, slipping a pair of soft, white shoes
onto Ari’s feet. “Let’s get going before mommy’s late for school.” I stand up,
lifting Ari onto my hip and grab her bag. I make sure she has everything
she’ll need before heading downstairs and into the kitchen.
“There are my beautiful girls,” my grandmother chimes. She smiles at us and
her eyes wrinkle at the sides. If I didn’t know any better I’d think she was
a normal old lady, but underneath that facade is whole lot of batshit crazy.
Not that I mind. My grandmother has been my rock, my best friend and the
only support I’ve had over the last two years. Without her, I have no idea
where Ari and I would be.
“Are you ready for your first day of daycare, Arianna?” my grandmother
coos. She closes the distance between us, reaching for Ari, and I let her go.
“Gama,” Ari squeals delightfully. She mumbles something incoherently and
I stifle a laugh when my grandmother responds as if they’re having a normal
conversation. I leave the kitchen to grab my school bag, stopping in the hallway when I see a framed picture of my parents hanging on the wall. My father looks younger, happier, and my mother has the same sour expression on
her face that I got used to seeing. Part of me misses them, but I push those
feelings away quicker than they surface. They have no place in my life, especially after how I left things when I moved away during my senior year of
high school. I shake my head, as if it will clear the past from my mind, and
take my school bag from the bottom of the stairs. It’s my first day of college
but I’m more nervous about Ari’s first day of daycare.
“Hayley Tanner, if you don’t hurry your ass up, you’re going to be late for
school,” my grandmother chides behind me. Ari slips past her and comes
running down the hallway, jumping straight into my arms.
“Huwwy you ass up, momma.” she says.
“Arianna, don’t say ‘ass’,” I reply sternly, giving my grandmother a look. If
we’re not careful, Ari repeats everything we say, including the occasional
cuss word my grandmother lets slip when she’s mad.
“Sowwy momma.” Ari ducks her head into my shoulder. I kiss her head
of brown curls and inhale her sweet scent. It’s one of the most comforting
things about this little miracle, the way she smells and the way she fits into
my arms so perfectly. We say goodbye to my grandmother and as soon as
I start the quick drive to Ari’s new daycare center, she starts singing in the
backseat. I watch her in the mirror as her little voice fills the car. Her happiness is infectious, and when her face lights up with hope and love, it’s easy to
forget how she got here. But I will never forget. It’s a night that changed my
life forever and a night I’m not sure I can bring myself to regret…