Destined for Doon (37 page)
“Really, dearie? Because that seems to be your specialty. Face it, you’re not heroine material like our little queenie here.”
The witch flicked her wrist, and my best friend doubled over in pain.
“Don’t let her get into your head,” Vee groaned.
“How could you?” The witch’s voice had changed, causing me to whip my head back in her direction. But the Addie I recognized was gone. In her place stood Vee in her bedraggled, zombie-gore-encrusted gown.
Her large turquoise eyes brimmed with accusations. “I needed you, Kenna — more than ever when I returned to Doon, but you left me. You didn’t just abandon Duncan, you abandoned your best friend. Deep inside, I will never forgive you for not staying.”
My heart sank with the weight of her accusation. “I know.”
“That’s not me!” Vee gripped my hand so hard that pain radiated up my arm. I glanced between my bestie and her doppelganger, trying to get my bearings. “It must be some kind of magical ward to protect the curse. Don’t let it confuse you. You have to destroy the stone!”
But I couldn’t focus on the stone. The weight of my transgressions against my best friend rooted me to my spot. “I’m so sorry I left you. I wasn’t thinking about how hard it would be for you or all the responsibility you would have. I should’ve been a better friend.”
Faux Vee said, “You were only thinking of yourself” at the same moment real Vee said, “I forgive you, Kenna. Now destroy the stone!”
Feeling better, I turned to attack Vee’s likeness. But she was gone. In her place stood my beloved aunt. This was not the vibrant, kaftan-wearing relative that shaped my childhood, but a frail, trembling woman in a fungus-stained hospital gown. I blinked, trying to comprehend the image before me. Aunt
Gracie’s gray eyes — the same shade as mine — clouded with confusion. “Why didn’t you come?”
I gazed at her, unable to say anything. I had no memories of my aunt during this part of her life and had never visited her when she got sick. I only came after . . . to the funeral. A spasm racked her feeble body, but she continued in a thin voice, “I called and called for you. I kept holding on — hoping, then praying, for one last moment together. I was in agony, but I couldn’t let go. It was my dying wish to see you one last time, but you never came.”
Suddenly, I was twelve again and overwhelmed with the terror of losing the most important person in my life. “I was scared to say good-bye.”
“So was I.”
My vision blurred, but I made no move to wipe the wetness from my eyes. “I thought if I didn’t come, you wouldn’t leave me.”
“You were being selfish, as usual.”
The tears that began to flow down my cheeks were warm against my chilled skin. Gracie was right; when she needed me most, I let her down. I was all she had, and I let her face death completely alone.
“Kenna, listen to me!” Vee gripped my shoulder with her free hand, forcing me to look at her. “You were a little girl. Your
real
aunt understood. She loved you and forgave you.”
I shook my head, denying Vee’s overly kind words. I’d always wondered if Gracie died mad at me for not coming to see her. But the witch couldn’t have known that — no one could.
Vee’s thumb dug into my armpit as she ordered, “You need to snap out of this! The witch’s evil — it exploits our weaknesses. I believed I was worthless and she used it against me. Whatever mistakes you’ve made, the people who really love you have forgiven you.”
“Have they, now?”
I ripped my shoulder free, whirling toward the sound of Finn’s voice. He looked exactly as he had the last time I’d seen him, when he was thirteen. As he raked his fingers through his dark hair, his lopsided grin faltered. His wounded eyes regarded me gravely. “Do ye remember what passed between us after your aunt’s funeral?”
I nodded. On the Brig o’ Doon, Finn had threaded his fingers through mine and lifted our intertwined hands to rest against his heart. With his other hand, he’d cupped my jaw as he pressed his lips to mine in our first kiss. Then I’d looked in his velvet brown eyes and made a promise.
Hurt radiated off of Finn’s likeness. “You said ye’d come back.”
Before my eyes, Finn grew into a tall, broad-shouldered prince. It wasn’t really Duncan — and yet, it felt like him.
“You, Mackenna Reid, break your promises — just like ye break hearts.” It was the same accusation he’d made during our recent courtyard encounter. Though I knew in my head the whole thing was a trick, my heart could not deny the truth in his words.
“I’m sorry,” I pleaded.
“Save your apology. I trusted you and you betrayed that trust. You destroyed my faith and my heart. You claimed you abandoned me for my own good, but ye know that’s not true. Say the truth.”
I was vaguely aware of Vee at my side, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than the boy whose life I’d ruined. What he said was as horrible as it was accurate. “I ran away. I was afraid it wouldn’t work out between us . . . so I left you before you could leave me. But, if you give me another chance, I’ll make it up to you.”
Duncan stepped forward to the edge of the sludge pool. “Implore me.” I opened my mouth and he pointed to the ground. “On your knees — the way a commoner should petition a prince.”
The earth made a muddy, squelching noise as I sunk to my knees. Vaguely aware of Vee gripping my hand, I wrenched it free so I could plead properly. “Please. Give me another chance.”
Standing over me, Duncan tipped his head to the side. “Tell me tha’ you love me.’
“I do. I always have, since we were children. I love you.”
“Not good enough.” He angled his head from side to side, popping the vertebrae in his neck. “Really convince me.”
The words began to pour out of me as I confessed my soul. “I’ve thought about you every day since I left. Nothing fills that void, not even theater. Being without you is like being trapped in a world without color — I can’t hear, taste, smell, or even touch my surroundings . . . but it’s more — it’s missing that spark in the core of my being. I’m half of a duet that has no context or melody without you. And if you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I’ll spend every day making it up to you. I promise.”
“Do ye
promise
?” Duncan sneered. His eyes burned with derision as he continued. “You’re a coward and a liar. You canna make up for this. You could spend your entire life atoning and it still wouldna make things right between us. I never want to see you again.”
“Okay.” I closed my eyes against his condemnation as my soul caved in on itself, making it difficult to speak. Even in his rage, Duncan was blameless. I’d earned every terrible, contemptuous word.
“This is exactly what you deserve, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
He continued to denounce me without any hint of mercy.
“Because of your choices, you dinna ever get to have your happy ending. You ruined everything and ye’ve not paid nearly enough.”
From a great distance, Vee’s voice penetrated my consciousness. She knelt between Duncan’s apparition and me, shaking me back and forth. “You deserve to be forgiven for your mistakes!”
“I don’t.” I opened my eyes to face her. There was no use in hiding anymore; Duncan had ripped me wide open. “I’ve abandoned everyone I ever loved. I’ve caused so much pain — I need to suffer for it.”
“That’s what the witch wants you to believe. But the truth is — the people who love you have already forgiven you. Those apparitions — me, Aunt Gracie, Duncan — they’re not us; they’re you. Your guilt, your recrimination, your need to suffer; the witch is using your greatest fears against you. You need to let yourself be forgiven.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Stop torturing yourself and just let go. Surrender all the guilt, the pain, everything you’ve been carrying — leave it all here.”
I glanced over Vee’s shoulder at Duncan’s seething image. Was he really an extension of my own self-loathing? If it was all in my head, could I really banish all those negative thoughts? I had to try — for all of us, but especially myself.
With Vee’s help I struggled to my feet. She squeezed my hand as I confronted my own personal demon.
The princely apparition growled in warning. “Ye canna defeat me. You’re nothing. Ana’s a thousand times the lass you are. That’s why I chose to be with her instead o’ you.”
“Shut up! You’re not Duncan. You’re not even my subconscious anymore. And I won’t believe your lies.”
The instant the words left my mouth, the world exploded. The protective bubble created by the rings burst into flames and
I braced myself for searing heat . . . but it never came. Despite the raging fire, the air was cool and I felt an overwhelming sense of calm, similar to being in the eye of a storm. Vee and I clutched each other tighter as the fire that engulfed us raced across the riverbank, consuming everything in its path.
Addie, whose apparition was once again in witch form, lit up like witch flambé. With a blood curdling shriek, she lunged toward us. Howling and clawing, she flailed against the fiery force-field. The witch and the wildfire burned ever brighter until they reached supernova status. Blinding light flashed as the burning limbus imploded. For an instant I felt an uncontainable burst of power rushing at me from all directions. And then, with a deafening rumble, it was gone.
In the silent aftermath, debris floated through the air, coating my hair and lashes like snowflakes. As far as the eye could see, a fine layer of ash covered the forest and half the bridge. The Pictish stone, while still intact, no longer had any purplish magic coursing through it. The pool of sludge had burned up along with the limbus, leaving only charred earth behind. Even the zombie splatter that’d covered Vee had been burned away.
Vee’s awed gaze met mine. “What was that?”
“Forgiveness,” I replied with a shrug.
Shielding her eyes from the drifting ashes, Vee surveyed the remains of the forest. “It’s done.”
Just to be sure, I crossed to the source of the limbus. Lifting the Arm o’ the Bruce over my head, I swung at the Pictish stone with all my strength. A single flicker of purple sparked as the cursed rock broke in half with a sharp crack.
With my burdens burned away, I felt lighter than I had in a year — no, in a lifetime. It was a good feeling, one of closure. Dropping the axe, I wrapped my arms around my best friend. “Now, it’s done.”
A
universal truth in acting is that motivation is more important than action. What we do becomes meaningless without the why. Take leaving, for instance. It can be an act of fear, afraid of the unknowable future and what we might have to face if we stay. It can be motivated by a need to control, also fear based, to abandon before being abandoned. Or leaving can be an act of bravery stemming from a heroic heart.
As grim and determined as I’d ever seen him, Duncan hoisted my duffel over his shoulder. With a quick nod to Jamie and Vee, he announced, “I’ll be waiting in the courtyard.”
I stared at the floor, listening to his receding steps as I groped for the courage to say my good-byes. Jamie stepped forward and placed his hands stiffly on my shoulders. He pulled me into an awkward hug and said in a low voice only meant for me, “Dinna worry. I’ll take care of Verranica. She’s my everythin’.”
After a couple of uncomfortable pats, he let go. Before he stepped away, he said, “Since you left, my brother avoids the loch as much as possible.”
Jamie didn’t volunteer stuff just for giggles. That bit of information was important, but I failed to grasp the significance. “Why?”
“It’s not my reasoning to share. You’ll have to ask him.”
He stepped away and I followed. “Why are you helping me?”
Stopping at the door, Jamie’s gaze flickered to my bestie before settling on me. “I’m not. I’m helping Duncan.” Which wasn’t an answer. I continued to stare until he added, “He did the same for me once. And I’ll say no more about it.”
Like the mysterious man from
Into the Woods
, he imparted his cryptic wisdom and then slipped away.
As soon as he was gone, Vee swooped in. Her lovely face furrowed in dismay. “I wish you’d reconsider letting Jamie and me go with you to the bridge.”
I shook my head, rapidly putting an end to her request. I didn’t have the strength to draw this out. When I’d told her as much last night, she’d urged me to sleep on it. In the clear light of late morning, I wanted to prolong this moment even less. All I had to do was say good-bye, give her a hug, and get out of Dodge — or in this case, get out of Doon.
As much as I tried, I couldn’t form words. Instead, I embraced Vee with all the finality in my heavy heart. She hugged me back and was reluctant to let go when I stepped away.
“I’ve been thinking about something, and I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want to freak you out.” She nervously cleared her throat in that way she did when she was about to say something I wouldn’t like. “If I’d never gone with you to Scotland, then you would’ve spent the summer alone in Alloway and the Brig o’ Doon would’ve opened normally for the centennial. There’s a chance you would’ve crossed the bridge with the other Destined. But because I came and we found your aunt’s stuff, it happened early.”
“So? I still would’ve been the same starry-eyed girl making the mistakes.”
“Before the ball, I urged you to be brave with your feelings. Now it’s my turn.” Moisture trembled in the corner of her eyes as she clenched my hands. “I believe your destiny lies in Doon — that it’s the Protector’s will for you to be here. So stay. If not for Duncan or yourself, stay for me. Please?” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and my own eyes began to sting in response.
Blinking furiously, I willed myself to get a grip on my own emotions. This parting would be easier for both of us if I didn’t dissolve into a blubbering mess. At least this time I could leave with the assurance of her forgiveness. “I can’t. Please, this is hard enough already. You have to let me go.”
Mournful acceptance radiated from her eyes. She swiped at her cheeks with the palm of her hand, then smiled a tight, wet smile. “Because you feel you have to, I will let you walk away . . . But, Kenna, I will
never
let you go.”
