Destined (Desolation #3) (30 page)

I shut my eyes and try to think. How the hell can I get out of here? I crouch to the ground again, my head clutched in my hands. Desi, I think.
Desi!

And then I start a constant chanting, screaming at the top of my mental lungs, my body quivering with the energy, with the work of it.

Desi! Desi! Desi!

I feel like I’m going to blow a capillary but I keep screaming. I stand up, scream to the sky.

“Desi!”

I grab at a passing crazy fat man, who reaches out to me, hold him by the shoulders and scream, “Desi!” at him so loud it should rupture his eardrums. Of course he keeps moving, keeps petting me in that weird and creepy way the people do here.

“Desi!” I cry again.

Desi! Desi! Desi!

I scream until my voice is raw and I can’t scream anymore. I scream with my mind until my brain feels like mush. I fall to the ground. Wrap my arms around my knees and rock like an idiot.

Desi! 

Desi!

I fall sideways, stars popping behind my closed eyelids.

Desi!

A sudden, searing brightness of light flashes in my mind, followed by a crystal clear image of Miri laughing, the sunshine lighting her face, making her bright blue eyes sparkle like the fourth of July. 

Desi.

I heard the whisper while I travelled.
Desi
.

Felt the pull even before I appeared on the packed sand of the battlefield. 

Still wearing the smile I’d shared with Lucy and Freyja, my eyes sought Michael’s. I saw him—knew he saw me, too.

But the cry, my name, carrying the power of desperate need, could not go unanswered.

Desi!

And then I knew.

James.

James. It was James.

And so I had to leave before Michael, running now, could reach me. I’d promised to be with him forever, to never leave his side. But James cried for me again and I had no choice but to fly.

He feels so cold to my touch. As cold as the hard gravel he lies on. As cold as I had once been.

Colder.

I pull him into my arms. Feel the death that lies over him like a poorly made quilt. 

I take him to the only person in all the worlds I know could heal him, if anyone ever can.

I take him to Miri.

I expected her to be in the desert, where I’d seen her last, but instead I found myself in the same one-room cottage where I’d discovered that demon Eleon and his vamp pet. It seemed like forever ago. Yet here I was, the cottage repaired, Miri propped up by a dozen pillows on top of a wide, white-draped bed. 

Miri scrambled back against the headboard, a cry of alarm on her lips that quickly changed to a different cry altogether.

“James!” She rushed forward, jumping from the bed, hurrying to touch him, find him all right.

But he wasn’t all right.

I laid him on the bed and stepped back while Miri fussed over him. She looked at me then, her eyes pleading, so much need shining there I had to break eye contact. “Can you . . .?

“Please,” she added in a near-whisper.

My heart jumped into my throat, choking me. “I ca—” but Helena’s magic was at play here, things I still didn’t understand. The truth felt like a sucker punch and made me wonder what all this power, what the Genesis, was for if I had to stand by and watch my friends die. I shook my head in shame. 

“What happened?” A girl stepped through the front door of the cottage and for a moment I didn’t recognize her. “I heard you screaming from the patio.

“Oh my gosh—Miri. Is he okay?”

Miri had thrown a blanket over James, but he still lay perfectly still. Perfectly pale. I reached out with my Halo and I knew he still lived—but barely.

“We’ve gotta get him to the hospital,” the girl said. She brushed past me as she made for the door, keeping her eyes down, avoiding touching me. I remembered her. Eleon’s pet. I searched my memory.
Taige
. “I’ll get the car.”

Images of her flashed before my eyes. In bed with Eleon, baring her sharpened canines at me, kneeling on the ground in worship before me. 

Judgment tempted my senses, tried to disarm me, but with a gulp I pushed it down, pushed it away. Things were different now. People change. People can be better. I knew that better than anyone.

A car drove up to the front door and Taige jumped out, opened the back door and ran in. “Um,” she looked at James, then at me. “Can you, um . . . Excuse me, mistress?” She fell to her knees. “Forgive me, but can you—”

I grabbed her arm and pulled so she could stand. “I’m not your mistress. And I have much to apologize for. But right now, yes, I can move him.” I picked James up while Miri tucked the blanket all around him. She climbed into the very tight barely-there backseat of Taige’s silver sports car and I set James inside, his head in Miri’s lap. She cradled him against her chest and soothed him, whispered to him. Begged him to wake up.

Not knowing what else to do, I took the passenger seat and Taige backed down the driveway with speed and precision. It felt strange, surreal, to be sitting in a car next to her. Like either this wasn’t real or my time with Freyja hadn’t been real. How could so much have changed—everything have changed—in what felt like a heartbeat? In what felt like an eternity?

I realized I was still dressed like a Valkyrie, and giving no thought to what Taige might think, I willed my silly clothes to morph into the jeans and shirt that made me feel like me. Taige didn’t seem to notice. Not that it mattered, so many more important things had happened. I had died (again), met my mother, discovered I was the granddaughter of a god, learned to travel and see the universe all at once—everything had changed. 

See the universe . . .

An idea struck me. I reached out with my Halo and felt Taige’s spirit—a generous soul who had seen and done so much evil in her short life, but who was doing everything in her power to set things right. She’d make it, too. I knew she would.

There was Miri—her spirit quivering with determination, hope, need, fear. I didn’t want to let her down.

And there was James. Except he wasn’t in his body; he stood on the rainbow Bridge, his hands in the pockets of his blue jeans, his hair mussed in that perfect style he loved, and a band shirt stretched across his chest. I stepped up beside him, appearing in my own jeans and black T; silver-penned Chucks on my feet. 

“Hey,” I said as I stood so close to him our arms brushed. I faced the direction he was facing—and watched as Miri’s tears fell onto his lifeless face. “She’ll never forgive you, you know.”

A sad smile tugged at his lips. “No kidding. She seems all sweet and innocent, but the girl has balls. Once she decides she wants something, she pretty much doesn’t stop until she gets it.”

“She wants you to come back.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw James smile.

“I’ve never been able to say no to her.”

“Will you say no this time?”

He faced me then, and the smile slipped from his face to be replaced with a sad expression I recognized. The expression of giving up. Of hopelessness. Of doubt.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “I don’t know if I can give her what she wants. Or even if I should.” He dipped his chin and rocked back onto his heels. 

“Cut it out, James,” I said. “Quit messing around and go back to her already.” 

Questions filled his eyes along with his tears. “How?”

But he meant so much more than just,
How do I go back?

He meant,
How do I go back to normal after everything I’ve seen and done?

How can she love me when I threw myself at Helena?

How can I love her the way she deserves to be loved when I am who I am?

I thought of Taige then—of the sweet hope that radiated from her. I didn’t know where she’d gotten it from or how she’d managed it, but it was a beautiful thing. I shared my thoughts with James, let them sink into his awareness for a moment.

“Everything’s different, James,” I said. “But not everything has changed.”

He looked at me like I’d just spoken in a foreign language. 

I took his hand, then pulled him into a hug. “I love you. I always have. Always will. But you and I? We’re not the same anymore.”

“I know,” he said. He choked and pressed his face against my shoulder. 

“We’re not the same. We’re better.”

He stilled and I knew he was processing what I said, trying to make sense of it.

“Now, you’d better get back there and give that girl what she wants or she’s gonna kick your ass.”

He held on to me a minute longer before giving me a squeeze and pulling back. “Can I?”

“You can.”

“What about you?” And oh, James. He was as deep as an ocean. How had I ever missed how good he was?

“I’ve changed a little, too,” I said. And I let him see. Let him see all of me, my Halo, my hope, my love.

“Damn, princess,” he said, a wide smile spreading across his face. “Well, let’s get to it, then.” And he stepped off the Bridge.

 “James!” Miri cried out, joy coloring the sound. 

I smiled out the car window but didn’t look back.

“What happened?” Taige cried, swerving the car a little in surprise at Miri’s yell.

“He’s gonna be okay! He’s gonna be okay!”

And I knew. James would be more than okay. 

Fahria jumped into the air and swung her leg around as she did, her arms like helicopter blades whipping her sword and dagger as she spun. The Giant fell to the ground, its head rolling a few feet away. She landed near me and when our eyes met she smiled and tapped her fist to her heart. I didn’t know how she still had the energy to fight the way she did, but I’d join with her in celebrating any small victory—and they were getting smaller and smaller by the moment.

She ran to my side, Longinus shadowing her. Our forces depleted, we huddled together, Valkyrie, Human and Gardian. I took comfort in their strong shoulders against mine, felt their breathing settle into my own rhythm, felt them adjust their grips on the hilts of their blades even as I did the same. We would stand together this last time, we would fight and die with honor.

“I saw her—your lady. But then she was gone,” Longinus said to me while we paced our enemy.