Destined (20 page)

Even though I wished I didn’t, I was beginning to understand what he was saying. “My mom was messed up. She chose a guy over me, but deep inside I still loved her and I wanted her to love me.
Really
love me. I think the hardest part about her being dead is that there isn’t any chance left that she’ll be my mom again.”

“Then you understand,” he said.

“Yeah, in a way I think I do, but I also agree with Stevie Rae. See, Rephaim, you might feel like every other kid who’s had a messed-up parent, but the problem with your situation is that your dad isn’t just Joe Schmoe down the block. He’s a dangerous immortal who’s on the wrong side in a very real battle of good versus evil.”

Rephaim closed his eyes like what I’d said had physically hurt him, but he nodded and when he opened his eyes and met my gaze I could see the strength of his decision. “You’re right. I have to stand up to him and make him understand that we really have gone separate ways. Come with me while I do that. Please, Zoey.”

“Well, okay. Let me go get Stark and I’ll—”

“Just you. I know it’s stupid, but I don’t want to humiliate Father, and me doing this in front of Stark would be a great insult.”

“Rephaim, I can’t come alone with you. Are you forgetting your dad tried to kill me?”

“Neferet held his body prisoner and forced him to follow you to the Otherworld. He didn’t want to. He’s never wanted to harm you. Zoey, my father has told me he will not kill you, or any High Priestess of the Goddess.”

“Seriously, get a clue.” I shook my head disbelievingly. “Kalona wouldn’t hesitate to kill
anyone
if they stood in the way of what he wanted.”

“You’ve been close to him since he escaped from the earth. Can you truly tell me that you have never seen a glimmer of Nyx’s Warrior still within him?”

I hesitated, not wanting to remember what a fool I’d been before Heath was killed. I lifted my chin. “Kalona killed Heath because I was stupid enough to let my guard down around him.”

“Heath was not a High Priestess in the service of Nyx. And you did not answer me. Speak truly. You’ve glimpsed what he used to be, have you not?”

For about the zillionth time I wished I was a better liar. I sighed. “Yeah, yes, okay. I thought I saw what he could have been. I thought I saw the Warrior of Nyx,” I said honestly, then added, “but I was wrong.”

“I don’t think you were, at least not completely. I think the Warrior is still within him. He did, after all, allow me the freedom to choose my own path.”

“But he’s not letting you stay free of him. He’s here, calling you.”

“What if he’s here calling me because he misses me!” Rephaim shouted, and then wiped a hand across his tense, sweaty face. In a more controlled voice he continued, “Please, Zoey. I give you my oath that I will not allow my father to hurt you, just like I will not allow him to hurt Stevie Rae. Please come with me and bear witness that I have broken with him so that no one at the House of Night can question my loyalties.” And then he said the thing that tipped me over into being Queen of Stupidville. “He hasn’t seen me since I’ve become a boy. Maybe when he sees evidence of Nyx’s forgiveness, the Warrior in him will awaken. Wouldn’t Nyx want you to give her Warrior one more chance?”

I looked at him and saw what Stevie Rae must have seen that made her fall for him—basically he was a real cute boy who wanted his dad to love him. “Ah, hell,” I said. “Fine. I’ll go with you as long as we don’t leave campus. And you should know if I get freaked or upset or scared or whatnot, Stark is gonna feel it and come running with his bow that cannot miss whatever he shoots at. And I promise you he will shoot. Nothing I can do about that.”

Rephaim took my arm and started practically dragging me toward the east wall. “I won’t put you in danger. You won’t feel any of those things.”

I was gonna say something about pigs flying, but instead I saved my breath and jogged to keep up with him.

Of course I knew where we were headed. It made sense. “The stupid tree by the stupid wall,” I panted. “I don’t like this at all.”

“It’s easy to get to and no one goes over there,” Rephaim said. “That’s why he’s there.”

“That doesn’t make it any better,” I said.

We sprinted across the lawn. I looked over my shoulder. I could see the gaslights of the stable that stretched toward this area of campus, and I was thinking that I probably should abdicate my Queenship in Stupidville and send out a big, scary, mental SOS to Stark when Rephaim suddenly slowed and then stopped.

I turned my attention and my gaze back to what was going on in front of me, and saw Kalona standing beside the shattered tree. His back was to us. Later I had time to think about the fact that he should have been at least facing the direction from which he knew Rephaim would be coming, but then his presence overshadowed everything, just as he knew it would. He was tall and strong and, as per usual, naked from the waist up. His incredible black wings were folded and at rest, and they looked like a god had fashioned them from pieces of the night sky.

I’d forgotten how beautiful and powerful and majestic he was. I clenched my jaw and mentally shook myself. I hadn’t forgotten how dangerous he was.

“Father, I am here,” Rephaim said in a voice that sounded so small and childlike that I put my hand over his where it still held on to my arm.

Kalona turned around. His amber eyes went wide. For a moment his face lost all expression and then he looked utterly stunned.

“Rephaim? Is it truly you, my son?”

I felt the quake that went through Rephaim’s body and I tightened my hand over his.

“Yes, Father.” His voice got stronger as he spoke. “It is me, Rephaim, your son.”

I know the immortal has faked a lot of things. I know he’s trafficked with Darkness and been a murderer, a liar, and a betrayer. But I think for my entire life I will remember the look on Kalona’s face when he saw Rephaim that day. For an instant Kalona smiled and such pure joy suffused his entire being that I lost my grip on Rephaim. I stood there, slack jawed, and gaped at the wonder of Kalona’s happiness, and realized that I saw within his expression the same love I’d seen when he’d gazed at Nyx in the Otherworld.

“Nyx forgave me,” Rephaim said.

Those three words snuffed out Kalona’s joy. “And then she gifted you with the form of a human boy?” the immoral said in an emotionless voice.

I could feel Rephaim’s hesitation, and I knew he was going to do what I did way too often—tell the whole truth when he should keep his mouth shut—so I blurted the semi-correct short version answer for him.

“Yeah, he’s a boy now and he’s with us.”

Kalona’s amber gaze shifted to me. “Zoey, you are looking well. I thought my son was the Red One’s mate. Is she sharing him with you?”

“Eew, no. It’s not
that
kind of school. I’m his friend, that’s all,” I said, totally shoving aside the memory of how moved Kalona had been when he’d first seen Rephaim.
This is the real Kalona,
I reminded myself. “And you don’t have to be such a butt.
You
called Rephaim, not the other way around.”

“Yes, I called my son. Not a fledgling High Priestess.”

“I asked her to come with me to speak with you,” Rephaim said.

“You asked Zoey and not the Red One. Is that because she’s tiring of you already?”

“No, and her name is Stevie Rae, not the Red One. I’m her mate, and I’m going to stay her mate.” I liked it that all the daddy-hero-worship crap had gone out of Rephaim’s voice. “That’s why I answered your call, because I needed to tell you this, just like I told Nisroc, I’m walking the path of the Goddess with Stevie Rae. It’s what I want. It’s what I’ll always want.”

“Always is a very long time,” Kalona said.

“Yes, I know. I spent a good portion of it doing your bidding.”

“You spent it being my son!”

“No, Father. Not really. I’m beginning to understand that there is only one real difference between Darkness and Light, and that is the capacity to love. When I was doing your bidding there was obligation and fear and intimidation between us, but very little love.”

I expected Kalona to blow up, but instead his shoulders slumped and he looked away as if he couldn’t continue to meet Rephaim’s steady gaze. “Perhaps circumstance made me ill equipped to be a father,” he said slowly. “You were the product of rage and despair and lust. I think I let that shape our relationship.”

I could feel the hope in Rephaim. It was like he telegraphed it through his skin and his voice. “It doesn’t have to continue to shape our relationship,” he said just as slowly. With a start of surprise, I realized that the two of them sounded incredibly similar. I snuck a peek at Rephaim and recognized the shape of his eyes, his mouth, his jaw, and after I saw the family resemblance I wondered how the heck I could have ever missed it. No wonder Rephaim was so gorgeous—he looked like his dad!

“You wish a new beginning between us, as well as with your new life,” Kalona said.

He hadn’t framed it as a question, but Rephaim answered him anyway. “Yes, Father.”

Kalona looked at me. “And what of your new friends? I do not believe they would ever accept the fact that you and I are not enemies.”

“Well, I can’t speak for all of his new friends, but personally I don’t care what kind of relationship he has with you as long as you leave the rest of us alone,” I said. “Neferet is who you need to worry about. If you’re really not still with her, then I can promise you
she’s
not gonna accept the fact that you and Rephaim aren’t enemies.”

“Neferet does not control me!” Kalona’s powerful voice brushed against my skin and I shivered with the familiarity of its icy touch.

“Yeah, whatever.” I spoke with forced nonchalance. “I’m not talking about control. I’m talking about the fact that you and her are on the same side, and she’s getting way into Darkness. She’s not gonna let someone with your power stand on the sidelines.”

“Neferet forfeited any possible allegiance with me when she imprisoned my body and used my spirit. You should know, Zoey Redbird, that Neferet has a new Consort.”

I rolled my eyes. “Aurox isn’t her Consort. He’s just one of her minions.”

“I wasn’t speaking of her new creature. I was speaking of the white bull.”

I stared at Kalona. “You’re being serious.”

“He is,” Rephaim said.

“And why would you tell me that? We’re not friends. We’re not allies,” I said firmly.

“We could be. We have a common enemy,” Kalona said.

“I don’t think we do. You’re pissed off at Neferet—or at least for this split second you are. I’m fighting against Darkness in general. And that’s the side you’re usually on.”

“He asked about new beginnings,” Rephaim said.

I looked up at the really cute, really hopeful, really
naïve
boy who stood beside me. “Rephaim, Kalona isn’t suddenly turning good.” All I could think was:
Stevie Rae is gonna kill me if I bring him back to her with an “everything is wonderful and beautiful and perfect” attitude about his dad.
“We can’t make other people what we want them to be just because we want it a bunch.”

“I have no intention of being good,” Kalona said. “Just as I have no express interest in being evil. I simply wish for the Tsi Sgili’s downfall. She has wounded me, and I would exact my revenge.”

“Okay, so just exactly what does that mean?” I asked.

“It means we have a common enemy. I will help you rid the House of Night of the Tsi Sgili who masquerades as Nyx’s High Priestess and her creature, the Aurox.”

“Father, will you come forward and speak to the High Council, to tell them what you know of Neferet?”

“What good would that do?” Kalona asked sharply. “I have no proof to support my words. I would accuse her of taking the white bull as Consort. She would deny it. I’m assuming she has introduced her creature as a divine gift, has she not?”

“Yeah, she has,” I said. “Aurox is supposed to be a gift from Nyx.”

“Let me guess—the Goddess has not appeared and denounced the creature or Neferet.”

“You know that hasn’t happened,” I said.

“Of course it hasn’t.” Kalona shook his head in obvious disgust. “And because your Goddess remains silent, there is no proof from Nyx. It would be my word against Neferet’s, and the Council already believes she banished me from her side. They would believe I was lying to get revenge.”

“Aren’t you?” I asked. “I mean, isn’t that what you’re saying you want, revenge?”

“I do not want her to be admonished by a ruling Council, her wrist slapped and sent to solitude in pretend service of the Goddess. I want her destroyed.”

The cold hatred in his voice had me shivering again, but I couldn’t argue with his logic. I didn’t want to kill Neferet. Hell, I didn’t want to kill anyone. But I knew in my heart of hearts that unless she was destroyed she would end up causing unimaginable pain and suffering for all of us.

“Okay, look. You need to spell it out for me. Are you talking about killing Neferet?”

“I cannot kill her, she’s become immortal.” His gaze held mine. “Only Neferet can cause her destruction.”

My brain felt like it was going to explode. “I have no clue how to get her to do that.”

“I may,” Kalona said. “She consorts with the white bull. Neferet believes she can control his power. She is very wrong.”

“He’s the key to her destruction?” said Rephaim.

“Perhaps. We should watch and wait for a time. See what she is about, what her next move will be,” Kalona said. “That will be easy with you living here at the House of Night with her. Watch her well, my son.”

“We’re not living here,” he said before I could stop him. “I’m with Stevie Rae and Zoey and the rest of them at the depot.”

“Are you? How interesting. Are all the red fledglings at the depot with you?”

“No, Neferet brought the other red fledglings, the ones who aren’t part of Stevie Rae’s group, to the House of Night. They’re staying here now,” Rephaim said.

I scowled at Rephaim and gave him a
would you please be quiet
look.

“That could be important. They tip the balance of Light and Darkness at this school.”