Desperate Hearts (15 page)

“Stop for a minute,” Elizabeth told
Mitch.

Mitch halted the buggy and looked at her. “What is
it?”

“How can you… I mean, aren’t you worried about what just happened back
there?”

Mitch sobered. “Elizabeth, it’s like I told you. People like Trudy and those men talk big and make threats. Trudy is probably angrier at Hugh for what he did than she is at me. She’s just angry at the whole world right
now.”

“But they seemed to truly mean it. They want to kill
you.”

Mitch pushed his hat back. “A
lot
of men want to kill
me.”

Elizabeth frowned, still wary. “I heard about Sheriff Henry Plummer and his bunch, and the shootings and hangings that went on,” she told Mitch. “If you were a part of all that, it makes me
wonder…”

“Wonder
what?”

Elizabeth looked away, refusing to meet his blue eyes because whenever she did, she felt things she shouldn’t, and she was having a lot of trouble trusting anything Mitch told her. “It makes me wonder how you would treat someone you cared about if you knew they had broken the law. I have a feeling the law comes first with you and feelings
second.”

Mitch sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the activity that stretched all up the gulch. “It would depend on a lot of things, Elizabeth, and if it involved a woman, I’d no more hang a woman than I’d hang myself. I know Hal and David and I threatened we’d even hang Trudy Wiley, but we wouldn’t.”

Elizabeth looked at her lap as he leaned closer…too close in the small
buggy.

“Elizabeth, if you’re talking about yourself,” he continued, “I can tell you right now that if you’ve done something you’re afraid to tell me about, don’t be.” He sighed. “I’m your friend and I’ll protect you with my life if need be. And right now, I know you’re upset over what just happened, but that’s just how life is out here. It’s survival of the fittest, and there is nothing wrong with admitting you’re scared or that you need help sometimes.” He put a hand on her arm. “You okay? We can go back to town right now if you
want.”

“No.” Elizabeth raised her chin. “We’ve come this far. I just have to get used to all of this. Let’s go meet that little
boy.”

Elizabeth felt torn between a desire to let him hold her and distrust of all men. Mitch pulled the buggy closer to the cabin, then put on the brake and handed her the reins before climbing down. “I’ll go see if she’s
there.”

Elizabeth watched him walk up to the cabin and knock on the door. The door opened and a very thin, haggard, and sad-looking woman greeted Mitch. They talked a moment, and then the woman shook her head and broke into tears. Mitch said something more to her, then touched her arm before turning to walk back to the buggy. The woman glanced at Elizabeth, then closed the
door.

Mitch returned and climbed into the buggy. He just sat there a minute, not
speaking.

“What’s wrong?” Elizabeth asked. “That woman was crying. Is her little boy
sick?”

Mitch shook his head. “He died a few days ago—run over by a supply wagon. She’s in a pretty bad
way.”

“Oh, no, that poor woman!” Elizabeth felt like crying herself. “Should I go talk to
her?”

Mitch pulled off the brake. “No. I offered, but she doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Life is hell out here for the few women who choose to come to these mining camps with their
husbands.”

“But she
needs
to talk to someone. The women out here need each other’s
company.”

“The few up here in the gulch find ways to get together. And there’s a dance and picnic coming up in Alder in a couple of weeks. You’ll meet some of them then. That’s probably the best time to hand out some of your flyers.” He faced her before getting under way. “Now you see how hard life is here. Between that thing with Trudy and her men, and seeing how the people live up here in the gulch, maybe you understand why I want to look out for you and why I wanted you to get that gun. More than that, I’ve got feelings for you I’ve never felt for another woman. I want you to know you can trust me, Elizabeth. Please just trust me, and help me know whether or not I should do anything about these feelings I have for you. I know this isn’t a courting trip. God knows the way things turned out it would have spoiled all that anyway. But I don’t want you to keep judging me by these
guns.”

Close again. So close in the small buggy seat. He had a way of drawing her to him without touching her. Elizabeth found herself leaning closer, wondering what it felt like to be gently kissed by a man, truly loved by a man instead
of…

The sharp memory of Alan Radcliffe’s cold lips and rough hands made her stiffen and pull away. No! She could not allow
this!

Mitch grasped her hand. “What is it, Elizabeth? What are you afraid
of?”

She pulled her hand away. “Nothing. I mean…everything. My whole life has been turned upside down, and all this—” She waved her hand to indicate the gulch and the mining and the people there. “All
this
. I hardly know where I am or
who
I am. I don’t really know you. You’re telling me you have feelings for me, yet you don’t know me any better than I know you…and…all this violence
and—”

“Stop,” Mitch told her. “Look at
me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why? Because you know damn well you
do
have feelings for me? It isn’t this place or what you’ve been through or me voicing my feelings that has you confused and afraid, Elizabeth. It’s something else. Someone, somewhere, has terrified you. You’ve been through something as bad or worse than what you’ve experienced here, back wherever you came from—and don’t tell me it’s St. Louis, because I don’t believe it.
Look
at me, Elizabeth.”

She finally obeyed, angrily wiping at a
tear.

“You say you don’t know me, but you do, because I don’t hide anything and I’m not a liar. I’m Mitch Brady from New York City. I’m a man whose alcoholic father abandoned him. My mother turned to sleeping with men for money in order to feed me, and one of them beat her to death right in front of me when I was too little to stop
him.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and shook her head. “That’s so
sad.”

“She did what she had to do.” He turned away for a moment. “When she died, I ran the streets and did whatever I needed to survive. I ended up in the war and then wandered out here and fell into vigilante work, and that’s all there is to know about me, except that you don’t ever have to be afraid of me or what I do—or think that just because I’m a lawman, I’d somehow turn on you if you told me the truth about yourself.” He met her gaze again. “I’m an open book, Elizabeth, and you’re the first woman who’s come into my life who has wrapped herself right around my heart and made me think she’s supposed to be there. You might even say I’m in love with
you.”

He turned again and snapped the reins, heading the buggy out of the gulch and back toward Alder. “Admitting that is damn hard for a man like me,” he continued. “A minute ago, you almost let me kiss you, but something pulled you back like whiplash. That something has to do with why you came out here. Don’t deny
it.”

Elizabeth swallowed against more tears. “I
don’t
deny it. I just… I can’t allow myself to have feelings for you until I know for sure what you’ll think of me when I tell you why I’m
here.”

“You’ve got time. I’m taking you back to Alder because that run-in with Trudy and her bunch set us back, and I can tell you’re still pretty upset over it. I’ll bring you back here and show you about mining and introduce you to more of the wives another time. Once we get back, I’ll be leaving for a couple of weeks, so you’ll have plenty of time to do your
thinking.”

They rode on silently for several minutes. “I’m sorry about your mother. That’s an awful thing for a little boy to see.”
I
saw
my
own
mother
murdered.
If only she could share that. “And I’m sorry for what life must have been like for you after
that.”

Mitch sighed. “Well, somehow I survived, and ever since then I’ve hated seeing a woman
abused.”

More
silence.

“Where will you go?” Elizabeth finally asked. “You said you’d be gone for a couple of
weeks.”

“I’ll make my rounds like I always do. I’ll come back up here and see what needs doing, visit some of the ranchers, scour the road to Virginia City, meet up with Hal and the others—general patrolling for
trouble.”

Elizabeth was surprised to realize she’d miss him. She didn’t want him to go away, but maybe that was best for now. “I’ll worry about
you.”

“Good. That means you care, at least a
little.”

“Of course I care. I’ve told you that more than
once.”

He slowed the horse. “How will you get by?” he asked
her.

“Get
by?”

“I mean, you still don’t have any kind of job
yet.”

“Thank you for asking, but…I have money. Enough to get me through the winter.” Elizabeth knew he was wondering where she got it. “I…inherited
it.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Well, however you got the money, at least I know you’ll be all right while I’m gone. I want your promise to stick close to Ma Kelly’s when I’m gone, and if you have to go out, do it when she can go with you—or get a message to Randy or Benny or Len. They’ll all be around and they’ll keep an eye on you. And I’d like your promise that I can take you to the dance and picnic when I get
back.”

Elizabeth nodded. “All right.” She finally faced him. “But I really will worry about you. You have so many
enemies.”

“I’ll be fine. You know I can handle
myself.”

“Not against back
shooters.”

He brought the buggy to a halt again and gave her a reassuring smile. “You just lay low and keep that gun of yours handy when you’re out in the streets. We’ll see more of each other when I get
back.”

Again, so close. This time she didn’t pull away when he leaned closer and kissed her softly on the
lips.

“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he
teased.

Elizabeth studied the honesty in his eyes. Could a man really be sincere and capable of love and gentleness? “No,” she answered, blushing. “It was
nice.”

Mitch grinned. “Tell me just one truth. How old are you—
really
?”

Elizabeth gave in. “I’m
eighteen.”

“Truth?”

“Truth.”

“Well, that’s a relief. I was afraid you were even younger than that. If you were, I’d feel like a brute for wanting
you.”

A
brute
did
want
me, back in New York. I ran from
him.

Mitch snapped the reins again. “I don’t ever need to know anything more about you if you choose not to tell me, Elizabeth. It won’t change how I feel, but knowing more would make helping you a lot easier. And I’d do that much even if I
didn’t
have feelings for
you.”

Elizabeth wished she could believe that. She dearly wanted to. She looked around the side of the buggy toward the now-distant poorly built little cabin where a woman sat alone crying over her dead little boy. Things she had experienced made her want to run away from this place. She could try it while Mitch was gone, but running again could mean risking being found by Alan Radcliffe. Worse, it might mean never seeing Mitch again. She settled back into the buggy seat, her hip touching Mitch’s, his presence emanating strength and making her feel
protected.

She’d stay in Alder. She’d stay because of Mitch Brady. She’d stay because part of her already knew that if she left, she’d never forget him. She’d stay because she already knew she was daring to fall in love with
him.

Elizabeth opened the parlor door after seeing through the curtained window that a woman and young girl stood outside. “Yes?”

“I’m Anne Henderson,” the woman greeted Elizabeth with a very strong Southern accent. “My husband, Charlie, runs a general store up the street. I saw your poster about teaching, and I wondered if you’d teach my girl here. Her name is Tilly. She’s
seven.”

Elizabeth welcomed the chance to finally have a purpose here in Alder. “Yes, come in!” she told Anne, stepping
aside.

The woman and her daughter entered hesitantly. Anne Henderson was very thin, with ash blond hair and pale brown eyes. Her hair was drawn tightly back into a bun and her dress was a plain dark blue. Tilly stared at Elizabeth wide-eyed, but smiled when Elizabeth said hello to
her.

“Are you a trained schoolteacher?” Anne asked Elizabeth after they sat
down.

“Well, not as far as having a specific certificate to teach, but I…” She told herself to be careful about her background. “I went to a women’s finishing school in St. Louis, and I am quite well educated—enough to help teach reading and basic math to youngsters. When I arrived here I thought it might be a way to make a little money. I thought ten cents a day for each child would be fair. I would of course furnish the books. Do you think that’s
reasonable?”

Anne smoothed the back of her daughter’s hair. “In a gold town, suppliers like my husband do well enough to afford that. We came out here from Alabama. We lost our home and farm in the war. Luckily my husband had saved some money nobody knew about. We used it to buy a wagon full of supplies and headed west. We didn’t know what else to do.” A sadness came into her eyes. “I miss our home, but a man has to do what he can to feed his family, so here we
are.”

“I understand. I miss my home, too.”

Anne nodded. “You do seem well-bred, so some of us can’t help wondering what brings a fine young lady like yourself to a place like Alder. After all, a lot of people come here with questionable pasts, and we will be entrusting our children to your
care.”

Elizabeth wondered how much longer she could avoid the truth. “It’s a long story, and I prefer not to share it for now. I assure you that I am reputable and well educated. I just thought I could use that in places like Alder, where there are no schools
yet.”

Anne scrutinized her warily. “Well, I suppose that’s good enough for now. At least you live here at Ma’s and not above one of the
saloons.”

“I assure you, I am not of that sort,” Elizabeth answered. She was growing tired of the constant reference to the town prostitutes, but she supposed it was a natural curiosity in a place like Alder. “You said earlier ‘we will be entrusting our children to your care.’ Are there other children you think might be able to take advantage of my
teaching?”

Anne nodded. “In a gold town, there are very few children or wives and mothers, of course, but there are four or five others who might want to take advantage of some schooling for their children. Up the street is a blacksmith who has a wife and little boy. The blacksmith’s name is Barney Deets. His boy is named Andy, and I think he’s about eight years old. And a lady named Ethel Green, a miner’s widow, runs a little restaurant in town called Eats. She’s awful busy trying to make ends meet and her daughter, Lucinda, helps her, so she wouldn’t be able to come every day. I think she’s about ten. I expect she’d only be able to come maybe once a
week.”

Elizabeth nodded. “That’s fine. I was thinking only two days a week anyway. I have a feeling that in a place like this, the children are needed to help with chores and such. I have to travel to Virginia City first to pick up some books and supplies, so I can’t get started right away. I’ll get word to everyone when I’m ready. I’m afraid I can’t get the supplies for several days yet. I have to wait for Mitch Brady to accompany me. After what I went through coming here, I’m not quite ready to make that trip back along the road to Virginia City by
myself.”

Anne nodded, frowning. “You do know that Mr. Brady is a
vigilante?”

“Yes, and I am indebted to the man for what he did when my stagecoach was attacked. He’s been kind and respectful since then, and…a good
friend.”

A wry smile crossed Anne’s lips. “Mr. Brady does seem to be a good man, but he can also be quite violent. Have you read any of Professor Thomas Dimsdale’s articles on the vigilantes in the
Montana
Post
?”

“Yes, I have over these past several days. I am interested in starting a newspaper here in Alder. I have learned a lot about life out here just reading those
articles.”

“Well, Professor Dimsdale came here from Canada for his health, but I have heard he is failing fast. He did manage to get his articles compiled into book form. It’s called
The
Vigilantes
of
Montana
. You might want to read it. Perhaps you will meet the professor when you go to Virginia City. Things are so much more civil there. It’s the capital of Montana Territory, you know. Maybe if you visit the
Post
, you could come up with some ideas for our newspaper here. The professor had his printing press shipped all the way up here from St. Louis. You say that’s where you are
from?”

Elizabeth suspected Anne Henderson was quite the town gossip. “Yes,” she lied, hating the hole she was digging for herself every time she lied about her
background.

“Some people are not fond of some of the tactics of the vigilantes,” Anne went on, “but then, they are all we have to keep order in these parts, and it’s no easy job. I just don’t want my daughter exposed to any violence, mind
you.”

Elizabeth frowned. “Mrs. Henderson, I assure you Mr. Brady will not be a part of my teaching. He does also live in this boardinghouse, but he is gone far more than he is here. I have seen neither hide nor hair of him for nearly two weeks now. Ma Kelly has told me I can use her parlor for teaching, and it’s quite safe here. I hope I can convince the townspeople to build a small schoolhouse for us. Perhaps you could convince your husband and others to see that gets
done.”

Anne nodded. “I will try.” She cleared her throat. “I am afraid I have to tell you, though, that…well…Henrietta Deets, the blacksmith’s wife, is hesitant to send her son here for school because… Well, gentleman or not, town gossip has it that Mr. Brady is sweet on you…and after all, you both live under the same roof. The other mothers and I feel either you or he should perhaps find other
quarters.”

Elizabeth struggled with a quiet anger at the insinuation. She’d been wanting to form a women’s club, a way to get together with the other women here, but now she wasn’t so sure that she wanted to know
any
of them. At the moment, she marveled at the fact that a lady of the evening like Sarah Cooper could be easier to talk to and a more understanding friend than the “proper” Anne Henderson. If she and the other women found out why she really came to Alder, they would probably run her out of town before she could
explain.

Still, Anne and the other women were entrusting their young children to her, and she needed the work. She tried to look at the situation from their point of view. “I can understand your concern,” she told Anne. “Please consider that our both living here was just how circumstances left things. I needed a safe place to stay and I knew no one, so Mr. Brady thought this would be the safest place for me for now. I have already given thought to moving out, but I am so new here, I have no idea where I would go. I went through a bad experience and am not ready to live alone. Ma Kelly has been very good to me, and my room is on the second floor in back, not near Mr. Brady’s. And like I said, he is gone far more than he is here. When he returns, I will bring up the
matter.”

“Perhaps Mr. Brady is the one who should move out. He obviously is one who would be just fine living alone, and Ma’s place is about the best quarters you will find in Alder, so you should stay. Heaven knows it’s a rough town. Please don’t take offense. I am just telling you how it looks to others. You seem to be a very nice young lady. I’m sure you want to keep your reputation intact, since you will be
teaching.”

“Yes, of course. Thank
you.”

Anne rose. “Just get a message to me when you are ready to start classes and I will tell Mrs. Deets and Ethel Green. Will you be at the
picnic?”

“Yes. And you should know Mr. Brady has asked me to go with him. I am not prepared to be walking around alone in this town. I hope you
understand.”

“Certainly. I am sure Mr. Brady will be quite the gentleman. As a guard, of course, a person couldn’t ask for better than Mitch Brady, especially a woman. He’s known to staunchly defend the female person, even the…well…the ladies of the night. You should realize, though, that he also frequents those same ladies for
pleasure.”

Elizabeth felt an unexpected stab of jealousy, combined with a great desire to hit Anne Henderson. “That matters little to me,” she lied. “As I said, Mr. Brady is simply an acquaintance who helped me out of a bad situation. He is also a single man who has a right to visit anyone he wants, including the women to whom you refer. I have no control over
that.”

They finally said their good-byes and Anne Henderson left with her daughter. Elizabeth turned away with a sigh. Where she or Mitch lived was none of the woman’s business, but she could see where it might lead to
gossip.

Ma Kelly came into the room then, wearing an apron. “I was preparing bread dough, but I heard some of your conversation,” she told Elizabeth. “Don’t let the so-called proper women of Alder get to you, dear. They obviously don’t think anything wrong is going on here—yet. But she’s right that if you or Mitch don’t move out soon, the talk will get worse. I’m sure Mitch will be the one to move, and he won’t
mind.”

Elizabeth thought about Anne’s remarks about the prostitutes. “Where would he go? To live with one of the
whores?”

Ma Kelly snickered. “Does that bother
you?”

Elizabeth faced her. “I have to admit that it
does.”

Ma folded her arms and raised her chin. “Elizabeth, I have a feeling that the man hasn’t visited any of those women for a while now—not since meeting you. I’ve come to know him pretty good, and I expect he’s the type who would step away from such things if he found a special woman he cared about. I know from the few things he’s said to me that he thinks of you as
special.”

“Actually, he has expressed feelings for me. He wants to court me, although I’m not sure what his idea of courting is. He did bring me those
roses.”

Ma smiled. “Well, for that man to admit to feelings means he cares a great deal. I’d give some weight to
it.”

Elizabeth walked over to a stuffed chair and sat down. “But he’s violent, Ma, and lives a dangerous life. He’s made a lot of enemies. I’m afraid to let myself care about him. Besides that, there are things about me… I mean, part of the reason I left was to get away from a big, strong man who was abusive. I am having a hard time letting myself trust any man, let alone one built like Mitch Brady, with that violent
side.”

“Big and strong matters little.” Ma Kelly sat down across from her. “Honey, when it comes to women, there is nothing abusive about that man. He’d never harm a hair on your
head.”

“He doesn’t know the whole truth about me. No one here
does.”

“Well, there’s no truth that would cause Mitch Brady to be mean to a woman. I watched him drag a man out in the street once and beat him near half to death for taking his fist to one of the whores. He kicked him out of Alder and said if he ever came back, he’d kill him outright. He’d do it, too. And throwing men out of town for hurting a woman has happened more than
once.”

Elizabeth stared at a frayed spot on the chair. “Well, the fact remains, one of us can’t remain here. It’s only right that I move. Mitch has lived here a lot
longer.”

“I’d like to see you stay, and I suspect Mitch would never make you move instead of him. This would be a much safer place to meet with the children than a place where you’re alone. Besides, I enjoy your company and appreciate your help in the kitchen. Well-bred as you seem, I am surprised you have so many domestic
talents.”

My
mother
was
once
a
servant.
There was so much she needed to talk about but was afraid to bring up. “My mother taught me how to cook and clean and such so that I could always take care of myself. She used to say that you never know when you might end up alone and poor. She was so
right.”

“Well, the dance and picnic are only a couple of days away, so I reckon Mitch will be back any time now. I guess your living situation is something you’ll have to discuss with
him.”

“Yes, I suppose,” Elizabeth answered.
Among
other
things.
The thought of Mitch with other women stirred far more anger and jealousy than she cared to admit. She rose and walked to a window. “Right now I just hope he
does
make it back and that he hasn’t been
hurt.”

“There is another solution to the housing problem,” Ma Kelly told
her.

Elizabeth faced her. “Oh?”

Ma nodded. “You two could get
married.”

Elizabeth gasped. “
Married!
” She laughed. “That’s ridiculous! I hardly know the
man!”

“Oh, you know him pretty darn good already. And out here, men and women usually marry quick. I’ve known perfect strangers to marry just for convenience. Usually both widowed, the man needing a wife to cook for him and care for kids left behind and the woman needing a man’s help and protection as well as help with her own brood of
kids.”

“Well, neither of us is in that situation. Honestly, Ma, how can you talk about marriage? That is the last thing I want. I’ve seen the worst that can happen when a man takes over a woman’s name and
possessions.”

“Mitch Brady isn’t that kind of
man.”

“You don’t know that for
certain.”