Desperate Chances (36 page)

He ripped off his shirt, buttons flying. One landed with a ping against the radiator. He balled up the fabric and threw it across the room. “Is that better?” he asked, giving me a cheeky grin.

I nodded, my tongue thick in my mouth as I stared at his muscular chest. He didn’t have any piercings or tattoos like the rest of the guys in the band. Most people wouldn’t look at him and see a rock star.

His skin was unblemished and perfect. He didn’t need anything else to be beautiful.

I pulled him up so that he was in a sitting position and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his chest, licking his skin and nibbling a line up to the base of his throat.

“Mmmm,” he sighed. I had wiggled out of my jeans at some point, so that now I was only in my panties. He was still in his jeans, which was quickly becoming a problem.

But I knew, without him telling me, that Mitch wanted to take his time. It was important that we didn’t rush this.

I kissed Mitch, our lips parting, tasting and taking. “I wish I could take it away. The hurt. The betrayal. I’m so, so sorry,” I murmured. I could never apologize enough. I only hoped one day the sting of what I had done would lessen.

Mitch pulled back and looked at me long and hard. He kissed me again. Once. Twice. Three times. He smoothed the hair back away from my face, his hands so tender where before they had been demanding.

“I’m sorry too, Gracie. You’re not the only one with regrets. I made mistakes. Lots of them. The biggest was pushing you away when I should have held on tight. No matter what you said to me, that didn’t give me the right to be an asshole. Because deep down I
knew
.”

“What did you know?” I asked, smiling. Grinning wide and high.

Another kiss. And another. Three times.

“That you love me.” His smile was dazzling. It took my breath away.

“Am I that transparent?” I giggled.

Mitch nuzzled my throat, his day old growth on his chin rubbing against eager skin. “I see all of you, G. Even the parts you try to hide.” He looked up into my eyes and I saw his heart.

And it was mine.

“But you can’t hide from me. Because I love you. God, I love you. You are everything. You are all that I want.”

I kissed the tip of Mitch’s nose and finally, after all this time, gave him the words he wanted so badly. The ones that had always been there. The ones that I should have said a year ago when he had first given me his.

“I love you too, Mitch Abrams. I love you so much.”

Mitch let out a strangled sob, his eyes suddenly wet, and he kissed me with a ferocity that I had never experienced from him before.

In a matter of moments he had discarded his jeans and his boxers. Then slowly, lovingly, he peeled my underwear from my body. When I was lying naked before him, he gazed at me as though memorizing every single inch.

Mitch lifted me up and I felt his cock press up against me. “Hang on, baby,” he said as I clung to him. Then he carried me through the apartment and into my bedroom where he laid me carefully onto the bed.

“I don’t think I can wait another minute, Mitch. Please,” I moaned as he settled between my legs.

“I can’t wait either. I’ve been dreaming of this for so damn long,” he let out in an agonized rush. Sheathing himself in a condom he stopped and stared down at me, a question in his eyes.

“What?” I asked him.

“Promise me you won’t walk away this time. Promise me that when we do this, it’s forever. I can’t survive losing you again, Gracie.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist and reached between our bodies to grasp him in my hand. With my eyes on his, I guided him to my entrance and lifted my hips so that he slid inside.

“I promise, Mitch. This is the only place I ever want to be.”

With a heartbreaking smile, Mitch pushed inside me and I stretched and strained to accommodate him. It felt perfect.

Like coming home.

“I love you, Mitch,” I moaned as he thrust into me over and over and over again.

“I love you, Gracie! So fucking much.”

This was his unconditional forever. It was a promise I could trust.

We were Mitch and Gracie.

Gracie and Mitch.

And this is exactly how we should be.

Together.

Always.

I
felt Mitch against my back before I opened my eyes. I smiled into my pillow and held myself perfectly still. I didn’t want to move and ruin this perfect, perfect moment.

I could smell him.

I could feel him.

He was everywhere.

My mind flipped backwards to last night and I knew that we had a lot to talk about. But right then I only wanted to lie in bed with him wrapped around me.

Too soon, I felt him begin to stir. The first indication was the very hard appendage digging into my backside.

Ever so slightly I parted my legs and lifted my hips, letting him slide against me. I was already wet and hot and ready.

“Gracie,” he whispered into my hair, his arms holding me tight.

Then lazily, still half asleep, he slipped inside of me again where he had been all night long.

Our hips moved languidly together. His breath hot on the back of my neck as he slid in and out of my body. His hand cupped my breast and his teeth bit down on my shoulder as I cried out softly.

“Gracie,” he murmured again and I smiled. I never wanted to lose this sensation. This incredible fullness in my heart.

Our movements became jerky as Mitch thrust deeper. And right before he came, he pulled out and sat up, grabbing a wad of tissues from the bedside table so he could finish the job.

I rolled over and watched him clean himself up. He stood up, completely naked, and dropped the tissues in the wastebasket.

“Is Vivian here? I don’t want to pull a Cole and walk around in my birthday suit if we’re not alone,” Mitch smirked. I bit down on my lip and shook my head, appreciating the view.

He came back over to the side of the bed and leaned down, kissing me long and hard on the mouth. “I’ll be right back,” he said softly.

After Mitch was gone I sat up in bed, pulling the blankets up over my chest. I was deliciously sore between my legs. Muscles I hadn’t known that I possessed were achy and tired.

Mitch and I had only slept for a few hours, neither of us wanting to interrupt our time together with sleep. We had stayed up into the early hours, laughing, talking, and making love until we couldn’t keep our eyes open.

But now it was morning. And all the unanswered questions that neither of us had wanted to answer last night were staring us in the face.

“Here you go. Milk and sugar, just how you like it,” Mitch said, reappearing with a cup of coffee and a plate full of cookies.

I raised my eyebrows at the sight of the sweets. He shrugged. “You need to go grocery shopping, babe. There’s nothing in your cabinets but Saltine crackers and these. So cookies for breakfast, it is.”

He got back into bed and handed me a cookie. I ate it happily, not caring about the calories or whether I should be eating junk food for breakfast. The only Gracie would have starved herself for days to make up for this one slip up. Not the new Gracie. She licked her fingers and enjoyed every delicious bite. I took a sip of coffee that was a little too strong with not enough milk. Oh well, Mitch couldn’t be perfect in everything he did.

Though his coffee making skills were going to have to be addressed.

I snuggled up against his side when I was finished. He put an arm around me, holding me tightly.

“You’re still here,” he said shyly.

I propped my chin on my chest as I looked up at him. “Were you expecting me to run?”

Mitch’s eyes were troubled, the fear still there. The worry that this was only temporary. That I would leave again and we’d be thrust back into that horrible place we had lived in for the last year.

“I hoped you wouldn’t,” he said after a while.

I ran my hand through his hair, wishing I could turn back time and take back all the things I had done to hurt him. My callousness. My selfishness.

“I’m not going anywhere, Mitch. As long as you want me, I’m here. But I have so many issues, so much baggage. I’ll understand if you can’t deal with it. Most days
I
can’t deal with it—”

Mitch cut me off with a kiss. Rough and real.

“Just stop. Don’t say it. I won’t let you put a question mark on this. On us. You may be a mess, but you’re my mess.” I rolled my eyes and snorted.

“Did you really just say that?”

Mitch chuckled. “Damn straight! And I mean it. I love you. I love everything about you. I love your mess and your chaos. I love your ups and I love your downs. And you should know that I wouldn’t jump ship when things get tough. I’ll be here until the bitter end. If you let me, that is.”

There it was again. The fear. Would it always be there? Would he ever be able to trust me not to leave?

But I had done this. So I would have to work to make it better.

And I knew I was up for the challenge.

Because Mitch was worth it.

“I can’t undo what’s already been done. I wish that I could, but I can’t. But I can promise to do everything I can to regain your trust. In me. In us. In what I feel for you.” I kissed his chin and laid my cheek on his chest. “I won’t screw this up again.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Mitch said lightly, and I could feel his laughter vibrate through me.

We were quiet for a while; my coffee growing cold, but I didn’t care.

“What happened with Sophie?” I asked softly. Maybe I should let it go. Did it really matter? They weren’t together anymore and he was here with me.

But I wanted to know. I couldn’t help it.

“You made me think the other night. After I brought you home from the botanical gardens. At first I was pissed because how dare you give me shit for being wishy washy.” He gave me a squeeze and I grimaced.

“I guess I was the queen of wishy washy,” I admitted.

“You were. But I’ve been pretty bad about it too. So after I left here, I went to Jordan’s. He’s a mouthy bastard, but he’s pretty good at calling me on my bullshit. We talked. He told me about Maysie being pregnant. And he helped me sort through the mess in my head. Sometimes, even when you know the answer, it helps having someone else point it out for you,” he said, his fingers tracing circles on my back.

“I’m glad the mouthy bastard was able to help you see straight,” I chuckled.

“I’ll make sure to tell him you said that,” Mitch snickered. “Anyway, after getting sage advice from Mr. Levitt, I went to Sophie’s. She got pissed. Called me a selfish ass, then she threw me out of her house.”

“Crap,” I muttered.

Mitch sighed. “I shouldn’t have expected anything less. What I did to her was wrong. I led her on. I was a total dick and I deserved everything she threw at me.”

“She’ll be okay, right?” I asked. Even though I wasn’t a fan of Sophie, as one woman to another, I felt bad for her. I didn’t want my happiness to come at the price of someone else’s pain.

Mitch kissed the top of my head. “I hurt her. We were together a long time. But I’m pretty sure that once the dust settles she’ll see it was the best thing for her. We weren’t in love. We never had been. We went into our relationship for the wrong reasons. Sophie wanted an ideal that didn’t exist, and I wanted to try to forget about you. Neither was possible.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. It was inadequate but it was all I could say.

Mitch rolled me over so that I was underneath him. He framed my face in his hands and looked down at me, his brow furrowed. “Don’t be sorry, Gracie. What happened with Sophie is on me. Only me. She’s a sweet girl. She helped me through a difficult time, but she wasn’t what my heart wanted.”

I turned my head to the side to avoid his eyes. Sometimes his gaze was too much. Too intense. “I don’t like starting something on top of a pile of wreckage.”

“Look at me, G,” Mitch commanded softly.

When I didn’t comply right away, he gently gripped my chin between his fingers and turned my head so that I was forced to look at him.