Read Desiring A Demon (Archangels) Online
Authors: Missy Jane
Tags: #Raphael, #Fallen Angel, #Paranormal, #Contemporary, #Demon, #Epic, #Romance, #Entangled, #Missy Jane, #Angel, #Fantasy, #PNR, #Heaven, #love, #Archangel, #Series, #Covet
Chapter Eleven
Asta watched the angels spar in Rafe’s large living room, her gaze on the one she loved with all her heart. He’d forgiven her and insisted on keeping her in his bed every night, even though his brothers weren’t sure if she was still a threat to him. And she loved him. She’d been mulling over that thought for days as every doubt and fear she had ran through her mind. Forge wanted her. Armoros wanted Forge to have her. And now she knew Rafe could be hurt through her. It was almost too much to take in
,
and she’d almost run out the door more than once.
But where would she go that Forge couldn’t find her? And if she ran away again, would Rafe follow? Those questions plagued her and kept her in his house, as close to him as she could get until they figured it all out. She didn’t want to leave him, even if she should. But fighting for him might hurt him and she feared that most of all.
He grinned at her as Nathaniel kicked out a leg and caught him in the shoulder. She cried out as Rafe hit the floor, but he rolled with it and gained his feet again before Nathaniel could press his advantage.
“Pay attention, Rafe,” Uri said. “I’ve got money on you.”
Rafe flipped him off then blocked Nathaniel’s next kick.
“You’re betting on this?” Asta asked.
“Well, yeah. Zee thinks he’ll be so distracted by you that Nathaniel will kick his ass. I bet that he’ll try harder because he wants to impress you.”
She rolled her eyes. “How much?”
“Twenty.”
“And a batch of your cookies,” Cam piped in.
“Hey,” Uri said. “You weren’t supposed to tell her that. I was still trying to figure out how to get her to bake again.”
She stifled a laugh and was surprised to realize she felt…happy. It was a nice feeling but not one she thought she deserved. Did she?
“We’re just messing around, you know?” Cam said.
She looked up to find him and Uri studying her.
“Uh, yeah. I know. It’s funny.”
Uri nodded but Cam didn’t look convinced.
They continued to watch the match and eventually Mike called a draw. Rafe and Nathaniel seemed to be evenly matched.
“Damn, I really wanted those cookies,” Uri said.
Rafe laughed as he walked over to where Asta was sitting by the fireplace. “Why don’t you just ask her to bake?” He dropped down to sit beside her on the floor. “Well?”
“Um…” She didn’t have the urge to bake, hadn’t in weeks. “Yeah, maybe.”
Uri smiled and headed for the kitchen. “Mike bought some from the store. I’ll eat those for now.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe how much you guys can eat.”
Rafe chuckled. He rubbed his hand over her back before settling his arm on her shoulders. She relaxed against him and closed her eyes to savor him. His warmth and the scent of his skin relaxed her. He felt like home and everything she’d been wanting for so long.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Good.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded against him and inhaled more of his masculine scent. It was addictive and made her want to crawl into his lap for more. He chuckled
,
and she wondered if she’d said that out loud. Luckily, the others had already left the room.
“Asta.”
“Hmm?” She looked up at him.
“You mean the world to me.”
Every coherent thought flew out of her head. A response clogged in her throat as the surprise of his words ran through her. He’d never said anything like that before, not out loud.
He grinned and used a finger to push her jaw up. “And my brothers know it. I thought you should know it
,
too.”
“Oh,” she said weakly. “Okay.”
He ran a finger down her cheek. “I want you to stay here with me, in my house. Even after we get rid of the threats against you. I want you in my bed every night.”
A jolt of heat shot to her core at the thought of being in his bed and she squirmed. “But…”
One brow lifted but he waited her out without a word.
“I’m a demon.”
“Half-demon.”
“Half-demon. And you’re an angel. We shouldn’t… We can’t…”
He sighed and turned to face her fully. “Asta, we’ve been together for weeks. I’ve made love to you numerous times, and the world hasn’t exploded, right?”
She shook her head.
“If this wasn’t allowed then it wouldn’t happen. I feel absolutely no qualms about it. It doesn’t feel wrong.”
“Oh.”
“I want you to promise me that you won’t try to leave me once you’re safe again.”
“I…”
He waited patiently as the battle raged within her. Could she really do this? Could she really stay with her angel?
“I…I care for you
,
too.” He grinned and started kissing her, but she pulled back. “Rafe, wait.”
“What?”
“Are you sure? I mean…look at me. I look like a demon. People act weird around me. We’ll never have a normal life.”
He laughed and rested his forehead against hers. “I think normal is highly overrated.”
“I’m being serious.”
“So am I. Asta, I’ve lived for centuries
,
and I’ve seen things you can’t imagine. I know what I want, and that’s you.”
Hope and joy filled her in equal measure
,
and she let him pull her back into his embrace.
He coaxed her into the bedroom and promised his brothers had headed back to Mike’s house for a while.
“They better not tease me about this later,” she said breathlessly.
Rafe kissed a path down her neck and nipped at her collarbone. “As if you’ll let them.”
She ran her hand through his hair. “True.”
He kept kissing and nibbling and rubbing his hands over her. They’d undressed each other quickly but now he seemed content to take his time.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
“You make me feel beautiful.”
He grinned and sucked on the flesh over her hip. Then he slid his lips lower until he found the spot between her legs that ached for him.
“Rafe, oh yes.”
Sometimes he teased her until she begged. But this time he licked and suckled with single-minded intensity until she exploded in ecstasy. She sobbed out his name and clutched at his shoulders until he crawled over her.
“My turn,” he said.
Then he slid into her and began to thrust. But she wouldn’t be satisfied with his domination this time. She used her legs to roll him over and sat up in triumph.
He groaned. “Damn you look good up there.”
She smiled and moved her hips in a slow circle that had his eyes rolling back.
“Yeah?” she asked. “I’m just getting started.”
…
Rafe watched Asta sleep and thought about the future. When Zerach had chosen to
fall
for Isadora, he had been happy for him and a bit envious. All angels could choose to
fall
from their angelic position to live a normal human lifespan in the mortal plane. Most chose to do so only if they found a human to share that lifetime with, but it wasn’t unheard of for a Watcher to want to be mortal alongside his charges. Watching generations die out over time took a toll. Rafe had lived through darker moments when he’d lost someone he’d grown fond of to the inevitable passing of time. But he’d never thought about his
falling
…until now.
Asta wasn’t the type of woman he’d envisioned for himself the few times he’d considered it. She was nothing like Zerach’s sweet and innocent Isadora. Asta was spunky and independent. She was sexy and sassy. She was beautiful and loving, even when she tried to hide it. And now, he couldn’t imagine trying to exist for the rest of eternity without her. But how could he contemplate doing so for a woman that held a demon within? With a sigh, he closed his eyes and imagined Asta as a fully human woman. A woman he could
fall
for, one that his brothers would accept fully into their family. He drifted to sleep imagining the impossible.
…
Asta shoved her hair behind her ear and growled when the short strands slipped back against her cheek. Sweat beaded on the back of her neck
,
and she was ready to take a razor to the whole mess on her head. Today wasn’t a good day. She’d woken to an empty bed and a massive headache, with demons hissing in her brain relentlessly. Ignoring them had become second nature
,
but for some reason she could hear them more clearly today. She stormed down the hall to the kitchen.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
“Good morning, sunshine,” Uri said from where he sat at the table.
She scowled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
The surprise on his face wasn’t amusing. Nothing was. Why wasn’t there coffee brewing?
“Asta?”
She looked up at Rafe’s quiet inquiry to find him gazing at her with concern. His nostrils flared and he stepped closer.
“What?” she snarled
.
“Are you…feeling all right?”
“Just fucking peachy.”
He closed the distance and ran a hand down her arm, making her skin crawl. She slapped it away and huffed out a breath. When she inhaled again the male scent of angels filled her lungs and almost choked her.
“Gah, you guys. What the fuck do you bathe in to smell so fucking…righteous?”
They both gave her puzzled looks as the demons in her head chuckled.
“It’s like…like… I don’t know. Your fucking Source. I’ll bet he smells like this. Or is it a she? Or do you even know? Did you ever even see this so
-
called Source?”
She scratched at her crimson arms, leaving behind jagged white marks she barely noticed. Rafe’s gaze tracked the motion but he didn’t reach out for her again.
“Asta, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing… Everything. You and your scent and… Fuck. I don’t know.”
She ran her hands through her hair, tugging slightly as the voices chanted louder. Uri stood and headed toward the door.
“Oh, now you’re leaving?” she asked. “What, don’t want to see the demon in the daylight?”
He frowned at her then looked at Rafe in question.
“I’ll call you later, bro,” Rafe said.
With a nod
,
Uri left.
Rafe pulled out a chair. “Why don’t you sit down?”
“If I wanted to fucking sit down I would’ve already. Don’t treat me like a child. Just because your fucked
-
up entity doesn’t like me doesn’t mean you can talk down to me.”
“What? I’m not.” He shook his head. “Asta, I just… I don’t understand what’s wrong.”
…
She was trembling from head to toe, her demon taint stronger than just an hour ago when Rafe had left her sleeping in their bed, and he had no idea why. Without thought, he reached for her again and she slapped his hands away then shoved him in the chest. He stumbled back a step in surprise as she scowled at him.
“I don’t want you to touch me. I don’t want your…goodness to rub off. You think you’re so high and mighty just because you’re an angel. Well, fuck you. And fuck the Source
,
too. It’s bullshit, it’s just all bull—”
“Enough!”
She jumped and took a step back, finally seeming to snap out of her tirade. Her chest heaved as she panted out her breaths and sweat beaded on her forehead. She was flushed and stank of mid-level demon proportions.
He had no idea what to do. Shock at her words rippled through him, leaving an ache in his chest he had no idea how to ease. “Asta. Go take a cold shower,” he said quietly.
Her initial shock at him yelling at her subsided
,
and she flipped him off. But she said nothing else as she stormed away. A door slammed, then the water in the shower turned on and he took a deep breath. Her demon side was stronger than before.
How could this have happened after the night they’d spent together? They’d made love and she’d seemed so…normal. He rubbed his hands down his face and offered up a silent prayer that it wouldn’t get any worse. And if it did? Maybe he’d been wrong, and he wasn’t meant to
fall
for her. But how could he convince his heart to stop loving her?
…
It took Rafe an hour after hearing the water turn off to face her again. His own emotions had been in chaos and he didn’t want to egg her on. But she was asleep when he walked into his room, looking like an angel herself in the center of his bed. He sat on the edge and she roused, her eyelashes fluttering as she slowly looked up at him.
“Hey,” she whispered.
Her demon taint wasn’t nearly as strong as before, but he attributed it to the shower.
“Hey,” he replied. He crossed his arms to keep from reaching for her.
“I had the weirdest dream. I was pissed, like really pissed off at you, but I don’t know why. I yelled at you in front of Uri
,
and then he left.” She chuckled. “You told me to take a shower.”
Some of his anger leached away but not his apprehension.
She frowned. “What?”
“It wasn’t a dream.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Look at your arms, Asta.”
She held his gaze as she pulled her arms from beneath the covers, then slowly looked down at them. The marks from before were still clearly visible.
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
Moisture pooled in her eyes and he almost gave in to the urge to hold her, but he waited her out instead.
“I’m sorry, Rafe. I know this is a stupid excuse but, sometimes the voices are too much. I fight them all day long. But this time…I just couldn’t.”
She rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom, closing the door quietly. He felt like an ass for not reassuring her, but too many doubts filled him. He wouldn’t lie to her, not about this. They needed to figure this out together. Somehow they would defeat her demon side. He couldn’t accept any other outcome.
Chapter Twelve
Over the next week
,
they tried to get back to some semblance of normal. Their conversations were few, their intimacy stolen moments in time. Asta was relieved there hadn’t been a recurrence of her drastic attitude change. He was so handsome it almost hurt to look at him. Although the changes made her look more demon than human
,
made her self-conscious, it certainly didn’t keep him from tearing her clothes off whenever they were alone. She slept in his arms every night, but tried not to show her love for him under the watchful eyes of the other angels. They might be okay with their relationship but she was afraid to test them, especially Mike. Rafe only left once to see a client that refused to be reassigned to another lawyer. After that, Zerach closed up Rafe’s office.
She was pissed. Though it secretly pleased her to have Rafe all to herself twenty-four seven, she hated the thought of him putting his professional life on hold for her. She didn’t want him to see her as weak. How long would that last before he started to resent her for it?
She watched him from where she lounged on the sofa as he read an ancient text in the recliner. “I’ll be okay, you know,” she said.
He glanced at her over the top of his book. “I know.”
“I mean, you can go back to work. You don’t have to babysit me.”
He gave her the same patient smile he had the last time they’d had this discussion. “I’m not babysitting, I’m watching over you in case your father decides to come get you himself or Forge tries again. There’s a difference.”
“Sure there is,” she muttered as she stood. She began to pace the living room.
“If you’re feeling locked in, we can go do something,” he offered.
Her pulse sped up in anticipation until common sense kicked in. “No. That’s probably not a good idea. It’s safer to stay inside.”
He put his book down
,
stood, and walked over to her slowly. “You know my brothers are never far away. We’ll all be watching over you.”
As soon as he was in her personal space she met his gaze. “And who will be watching over you? I don’t want any of you getting hurt because of me.”
He frowned
.
“We’ve been around since the beginning of time, Asta. I assure you, we’re well-versed in taking care of ourselves, and each other.”
She knew that and deep down even believed it. But a sense of fear and foreboding filled her every time she thought of Forge and Armoros trying to get to her. Things had been quiet for days. Too quiet. They wouldn’t wait long to come looking for her. It was amazing they’d stayed away at all.
“I told him I would go to him when he called. I just wanted to save you and didn’t really
think
. I told him he could call on me,” she whispered.
The shock on his face only made her feel worse. Guilt ate at her, as did the dark cloud of her vow to Forge hanging over her. There had to be a way around it.
“He’s not getting you. I don’t give a damn what you promised. He’d have to get through me and my brothers first.”
She tried to push past Rafe but he gently closed his hand around her arm. She couldn’t suppress a shiver of pleasure from his touch, but she still glared at him. “What?”
“Get your shoes on and let’s run to the grocery store. You haven’t baked anything in forever
,
and I’m not letting the threat of that demonic asshole keep you from doing what you love.”
That surprised a laugh out of her. She turned away before giving in to the urge to kiss him, afraid she wouldn’t want to stop
.
“Rafe—”
“No. No more worries. You have a whole family of angels at your back now, Asta. We’re going shopping.”
As soon as he released her arm, she all but ran to the room to change
.
Equal parts anticipation and dread filled her
,
but he was right. That demonic asshole wasn’t going to stop her from doing what she loved, and she couldn’t hide forever.
They pulled into the grocery store parking lot a few minutes later.
“I still don’t think this is a good idea,” she said.
It was nine o’clock at night
,
and the store closed at ten. The few cars in the parking lot probably belonged to employees.
“Cam is on the roof
,
and the others have been alerted to us venturing out. It’ll be fine, baby,” Rafe assured her.
He got out of the car
,
and she waited as he rounded to her side. She’d been told to always stay beside him, just in case. The old Asta would’ve chafed at the demand, but now she was more careful than ever. It wasn’t her trip to hell or the thought of being captured and dragged back that had changed her. It was knowing Rafe could be hurt
,
when all along she’d thought him invincible. Maybe if she followed all their rules
,
he’d stay relatively safe. It was the best she could do.
His knuckles brushed against hers as they walked into the store. She wanted to let him take her hand probably as much as he wanted to take it, but she wanted his hands free to pull out his sword if needed. She stubbornly slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans.
Rafe grabbed a cart and they started strolling down the aisles. It really had been forever since she’d baked and the thought of baking something made her feel better. Rafe kept his gaze on the various items they passed. His wealth of patience never ceased to amaze her. Maybe it was time to let him in a little.
“I know I’ve really been a bitch to you since day one, Rafe. Even after all you’ve done for me.”
He frowned at her. “I don’t think you’ve been a bitch.”
She snorted a laugh. “Sure.”
“I just think you’ve been…careful.”
They started moving down the aisle again
.
“I know a lot about you and your brothers. You barely know anything about me. About my past.”
He simply lifted a brow and kept going. She took a deep breath and braved on. “My mom was great when I was little, but once I hit puberty and started getting weird she began drinking
.
”
“Oh?” he asked. “She didn’t try to find out what was going on with you?”
She shrugged. “Not that I remember. It became obvious pretty quick that I couldn’t go to church anymore. As soon as I stepped on church property I’d throw up and get migraines. I’d cry uncontrollably
,
and she’d get pissed and drag me home. At first she thought I was doing it on purpose. Then I showed her my tat—birthmark. I think it had changed a bit from when I was a baby.”
They each put a couple of things in the cart and moved on to the next aisle.
“Now that I know about Armoros, I have a feeling she knew what it was all along. She started treating me differently after that, like she was scared of me. When I got home from school she’d be at work, but when she got home she’d lock herself in her room until the next morning. I almost never saw her. Then I started finding a lot of empty bottles in the trash. I didn’t realize how bad it was for almost a year, but I hardly ever saw her, you know? She’d taught me how to cook and bake. I’d spend most of my weekends in the kitchen because it made me feel better to create things in there. But she never ate any of it. Sometimes I’d give cupcakes and cookies away at school, but not many people trusted me enough to take them. I ended up throwing a lot of food away.”
“I wish I’d known you then. You wouldn’t have had to throw any of it away.”
She laughed. Knowing the angels during that time in her life probably would’ve saved her from years of pain and suffering.
“Yeah, Uri and Sel can eat a dozen cupcakes each.”
“Mike loves your chocolate chip cookies.”
“No way.”
He nodded and added sugar and flour to the basket. “Yup. He won’t admit it, but he’s already asked me a couple of times if you’ve started baking again.”
She laughed and it felt so damn good, so normal. “Wow. I never would’ve guessed.”
He chuckled. “I don’t know if the others have noticed how he hogs them when he can.”
They headed for the dairy cases. The store was empty of customers
,
and all the employees seemed to be at the front registers. Asta looked around and shivered as a chill ran up her spine.
“You okay?” Rafe asked.
“Huh? Oh yeah. It’s just colder in this part of the store I guess.”
He didn’t look like he believed her, but he didn’t say anything else as they headed toward the eggs.
As Asta leaned over the case and started opening cartons
,
something skittered across the edge of her vision. Her head shot around to scan the area, but she spied nothing. With a frown
,
she set the eggs carefully in the basket and something ran by again. She spun to look. Nothing.
“Rafe?”
Something in her voice must have alerted him because he was by her instantly. “What is it?”
“I don’t know. I keep seeing something scurry past but when I turn to get a better look it’s gone.”
He looked in the direction she was staring but the aisle before them remained empty.
“Maybe it was a bug.”
She shook her head. “Bigger.”
“A rat.”
She stepped closer to him. “That’s not funny.”
He looked at her. “Afraid of rats?”
True fear clogged her throat to where she couldn’t even answer. She nodded and something scurried past again. She gasped and jumped into his arms.
“Okay, I think I saw that one.”
As she opened her mouth to reply
,
a dark shadow seemed to flow over the ground from the opposite end of the store.
Rats.
“Oh no…oh G
—
”
“Asta, up!”
He grabbed her waist and lifted her so she could reach the top of the closest cold case. She scrambled up as far away from the rodents as possible. In a flash
,
Rafe was dressed in his angelic armor with his sword out and ready. She was confused about why he’d do that for rats, but then his brothers burst into the store in their gear and ushered the human workers out. An older man, most likely the manager, didn’t seem fazed by their swords and armor and started arguing with Mike.
The other angels closed the distance to join Rafe fighting rats that had grown into minions. They were fairly small for demons, no bigger than a medium-sized dog, but there were hundreds of them. Being attacked by rats was one of her worst nightmares come to life
,
and she was paralyzed with fear, despite their changed appearance. They couldn’t reach her on their own, but if they decided to pile up she wasn’t sure what she’d do.
The angels finally cleared all humans from the store and concentrated on killing the minions. The mindless demons were completely helpless against them. Some even threw themselves on the angels’ swords in the confusion. Soon the floor was covered in the gray dust they left behind, and Asta hoped it was over. Then the sliding doors swooshed open and Forge strolled in like he owned the place. He was dressed like a biker, complete with black leather vest and pants. No shirt, black biker boots and an obvious attitude completed his ensemble.
Behind him, a stream of similarly dressed humans strutted in carrying weapons. They started trashing the store while Forge closed the distance. He looked up at her and grinned. “Asta,” he called out. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
She looked around helplessly. While she was safe from the minions, she also had nowhere to go and no weapons. She wanted to kick herself for not thinking of that before leaving the house.
“Shit.”
“Now, that’s no way to talk to the future father of your children,” Forge said from right below her.
“Hah! As if I’d ever let
you
touch me.”
His smile turned evil and he held out his hand. “You have no choice, demonling. Come to me.”
She took a step toward the edge of the case with no actual thought to do so. Her body seemed to move on its own while inside she was screaming.
“No!” she shouted.
Suddenly Rafe was at her side and pulling her back away from the edge. Forge scowled and leaped up to grab the edges of the case. He pulled himself on top of it, and Rafe stepped in front of her.
“She’s mine, angel,” Forge growled. “Step away.”
“No
,
she’s not,” Rafe replied. “You’ll have to go through me to ever get to her again.”
“She made a vow, and the vow she will keep.”
“I’m deeming it null and void
,
since it was gained by ill means. You’ll get her over my dead body.”
Forge grinned and a sword appeared in his hands. “Challenge accepted.”
The case was no more than ten feet in length and four feet wide. Asta crouched low at one end behind Rafe and tried to stay out of the way as they started swinging their swords. Forge was good, but it quickly became obvious Rafe was much better. Lines of blood appeared on each of Forge’s arms
,
and he cried out in anger each time Rafe’s sword made its mark. His chest soon showed an
X
and one side of his face was bloodied.
“You’re going to pay for that, you asshole,” he hollered.
Rafe didn’t reply to his taunting. He almost appeared bored as he continued to block every advance Forge attempted and make his own advances into Forge’s personal space. He wasn’t even breathing hard. Finally
,
he knocked Forge’s sword out of his hand and held the tip of his sword to his neck. The half-demon didn’t seem too concerned about his predicament.
“Call off your human and demon minions, Forge. Or say good
-
bye to all of them,” Rafe said.
Forge laughed. “This is only the beginning. Armoros is preparing to come back with an army. He wants his daughter at his side. I’m supposed to knock her up first, but even if I don’t, he’s coming for her.”
“Oh
,
fuck that,” Asta said.
Rafe shook his head. “Not gonna happen.”
“You angels think you’re so strong. You think you can take on a demon
army
? Just the five of you alone?”
Forge threw his head back and laughed until another, deeper voice cut through the chaos. “They’re not alone
,
hell spawn.”