Desire Unmatched: 4 (Coded for Love) (10 page)

“Xander, you’re sweet to worry about something like that.
You’re not going to suck.”

“How do you know? You already told me I was lousy in bed.
I’ll probably be a shitty match also.”

She lost her smile. “I am so, so sorry I ever told Loren
about when we had sex. I regret that more than you know.” She stretched out on
the bed and curled into him.

He found his arms wrapping around her body, holding her
close. She felt good and right against him. “Doesn’t take away the fact that I
still sucked. I don’t know how to give you an orgasm.”

Her lips pressed against his clavicle then against his neck.
“I’ll teach you. Being near you, being touched by you, puts me halfway there.”

He craned his neck to look at her. “For real?”

She imitated his American accent. “For real. Want to start
now?”

Hell yes, he did. A glance at the clock on the wall told him
Doctor Wise would be back any minute. Not to mention Shep and the rest of the
guys would want every detail of the kidnapping and how he escaped. He’d only
managed to tell them Paulson was dead before he’d passed out.

He looked from the clock to Emma’s expectant face. She was
now propped on her elbow, looking down at him. All the fears he had about being
a good match to Emma resurfaced as he had to make the hard choice between her
and his team. He opened his mouth to tell her to go lock the door, but she
spoke before he could get the words out.

“We don’t have time to do anything now, do we?” she asked.

“Yes we do. Go lock the door.” Now that he’d made the
decision, he was desperate to get started touching her and learning to pleasure
her.

She smiled and ran her palm down his arm under the blanket.
“I don’t want to do much until Doctor Wise gets you that CT scan. What if you
have some injuries?”

“I’m fine,” he muttered, but since he still got a tad dizzy
every time he tried to sit up or move around, he stayed back against his
pillows.

“I’ll stay snuggled up with you until we’re guaranteed some
privacy.”

He didn’t respond, feeling cheated of getting to give Emma
an orgasm, the first he’d give to a woman.

“You could touch me,” she said, her tone beguiling and
teasing all at the same time. “Under the covers so no one would know. Get me
ready so when we’re alone, I can pounce on you and have my wicked way.”

Holy crap, was that rusty sound his laugh? Emma didn’t wait
any longer. She grabbed his hand, moved it to her crotch. Of his own accord, he
slipped between the elastic waistband of her cotton panties and her warm skin.

His fingers dipped lower and he was ecstatic to discover she
was wet and hot between the folds of her pussy. He bit back a groan as his cock
hardened yet again. Then he forced his hand to retreat. He felt dirty touching
her if other people were about to be in the room. It reminded him too much of
his captivity when he used her as fantasy fodder to get off.

“Xander?”

“I want to wait. I’m not touching you with other people in
the room.”

She unhooked her leg from where it had rested over his
thigh. “Okay. We can wait. Do you want me to get out of the bed?”

No. He wanted her to lock the door, take off her clothes and
ride him until he came inside her. He couldn’t have that now. For one, he was
pretty sure there were footsteps outside the door. And two, he’d told her he’d
consider matching with her. He probably shouldn’t do anything sexual with her
until he’d made up his mind. Sex would unduly influence him, but fuck it. He’d
been celibate too long. “Maybe you should go sit in the chair. It’s too hard to
concentrate with you in the bed.”

“Something’s hard,” she said in a seductively teasing voice
and grabbed his cock to stroke it from base to tip.

He groaned and arched into her hand. It didn’t seem real
that yesterday morning he was in France, sure he was a dead man. Today he was
home and every fantasy involving Emma was coming to fruition.

The door to the tiny medical room opened and Emma’s hand
flew off his cock so fast, she nearly slapped him in the chin. It was Doctor
Wise, closely followed by Commander Shepard.

“Shep,” he said.

“Commander.” Emma’s cheeks were pink as she climbed out of
the bed, careful to keep the blanket covering most of his skin. She walked over
to the chair in the corner and curled up in it.

“We’re going to do that scan now,” Doctor Wise said. “Commander
Shepard wanted to ask you some questions first.” Her tone made it clear she
thought it a medical travesty for him to have to work before getting scanned.

He struggled to sit up a little more. Suddenly Emma was at
his side, plumping his pillow and helping him sit. He hated being weak in front
of her, but he kind of liked the attention.

Shep was a wise man and didn’t say a word at the obvious
relationship between him and Emma. They’d gone from avoidance to togetherness.
Since he didn’t know how long it would last, he was happy not to have to answer
any difficult questions.

“Xander, I’m sorry to bother you, because your health comes
first. But if you’re up to it, I’d like to ask a few questions to help us
mobilize once Doctor Wise gives us the go-ahead.”

“I’m good now.”

“No,” Shep countermanded. “I can see you need some time.
I’ll come back.”

The rest of the day passed in alternating bouts of total
tedium, intense scrutiny and compelling desire that became harder and harder to
hide. The tedium set in while Doctor Wise forced meds and scans on him to
assess his health, despite his insistence he was fine. After several hours of
the poking and prodding, she was forced to admit he’d known best. He was
declared fit, but encouraged to rest and drink plenty of fluids. The soles of
his feet would heal if he stayed off them. He didn’t make any promises, but
mumbled some type of assent to the doctor to get her off his case.

He’d barely had time to pull on a pair of baggy pajama
bottoms before Shep and crew invaded. They were harder to dismiss. For one, he
wanted them in the room. He wanted to be an active part of the planning.
Revenge was personal now. He started to quickly lay out the important details
Shep and crew needed to know. He started with the most important. The fact
Paulson was dead, and moved on to other facts such as the address of the house
in which he was held captive. There was nearly a one hundred percent likelihood
the terrorists had cleared out already, but maybe something had been left
behind.

Four months ago they’d learned Paulson had provided American
babies to a terrorist organization to be raised abroad and trained as the
ultimate weapon. As they’d look totally American, no one would see them as a
threat. They needed to get the kids back both for safety and for the poor
parents who were missing their children.

Emma’s breath hitched when he announced again Paulson was
dead, and he wished he’d been the one to murder the man for what he’d done to
her. It chafed that the man had died of a stroke, a symptom of old age. It was
too easy a death for him. Peeling his skin back with a dull Swiss Army knife
would’ve been nice. Unfortunately, life didn’t always get you what you wanted.
Who knew that better than him?

A huge debate erupted when it was asked whether Xander’s
kidnapping should be brought to the attention of the current government inquiry
of the Program.

Everyone had a vociferous opinion. At least seven of his
cohort plus Shep stood around his hospital bed. Xander was of the opinion they
should keep it quiet. He didn’t need his personal hell made public. But it was
Emma’s quiet declaration that cemented it for him.

“As one of the few residents of the campus who spends a good
deal of time off it, I’d like to offer an opinion,” she said, interrupting
heated exchanges that rose in volume.

The occupants of the room quieted and turned to where she
sat curled in a corner. He shifted and craned his neck now that his view of her
was blocked.

“People are either frightened or intrigued by you all,” she
said. “Some want to be enhanced also, but some fear you’re playing God. They
want the Program stopped.” So far she hadn’t said anything the others didn’t
know, but they politely listened to the rest of it. “If you let it get out that
terrorists are trying to steal the medical technology, opinions will change. It
will turn into an arms race, only instead of nuclear bombs, the weapons will be
human.”

The men in the room nodded, some folded arms across their
chests, most frowned.

“She’s right,” Xander said. He shifted his rolling chair
closer to hers a few inches and placed his palm on her forearm.

All eyes turned to him. He wasn’t known for speaking up in
meetings. He was more of the type to sit silently, waiting for orders, then
follow through to the letter. His vehement agreement was surprising, but did
they really think he wasn’t going to publicly support Emma? He caught a glimpse
of her face through the sea of bodies separating them. She grinned at him and
his contentment swelled. Obviously he’d scored big points in the couplehood
box. Maybe he could be one half of a couple. He wasn’t doing too badly so far.

Finally, Shep called an end to the meeting. He told Xander
to rest and herded everyone out. One man stayed behind. Xander could tell by Chase’s
face he had something on his mind. Something personal. He didn’t speak for a
few minutes, though, he seemed to be waiting. When the door to the room opened,
Xander understood immediately.

Doctor Samara Jones and her small son walked into the room hand
in hand. They headed straight over to Chase, who then asked the question
bothering him most.

Xander looked at the young doctor who was now tucked under
Chase’s protective arm. He’d have to ask Emma what the hell had happened while
he’d been gone. At the end of the summer, Chase had hated Samara. Though he’d
also heard rumors they’d been sleeping together, since Chase had been spotted
leaving Samara’s apartment in the early morning. He hadn’t lent much weight to
the rumor. There were always rumors and gossip swirling around this place.

“Do the terrorists know about Samara?” Chase asked again,
urgently.

He leaned back against the annoyingly soft pillow and stared
Doctor Jones straight in the face. “They’ll be coming for you. No mistake.
Paulson gone, they’ll need a geneticist and they know you.”

Her face whitened and she wrapped one arm around her round
belly, the other hand grasping for and finding Chase’s. Chase stepped into her
space, wrapping his larger body around hers.

He accepted Chase’s glare. He was used to scowls from his
cohort. The little kid’s narrow-eyed look made his gut crawl. His legs shifted,
rustling the thick blanket as he looked anywhere but at Samara’s son’s
frightened expression. He didn’t have to deal with his discomfort long.

With a parting meaningful look and a nonverbal promise he’d
be back for further discussion, Chase hustled his growing family out of
Xander’s infirmary room.

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

He let his gaze flicker to Emma where she sat, quiet but
never forgotten, on the recliner near his feet in the corner of the room.

“Why the fuck not? It’s true.”

She turned the large textbook she was reading spine side up
onto her lap and focused on him. “There were other ways to deliver that news.
Not in front of Luca, for one.”

He forced himself to meet her steady gaze. “He spent a year
in Paulson’s clinic. He’s a tough kid.”

“But he doesn’t have to be anymore. He’s safe now. You
scared him.”

“So? Fear will make him aware. Give him an edge.” He tugged
the TV remote from the nightstand and made to turn on the flat screen on the
opposite wall. He didn’t even watch television, but he knew it was a way to
distract.

“Bullshit.” Textbook forgotten, Emma stalked toward his bed.
She snatched the remote out of his hand.

He made a halfhearted grab for it, but knew he’d have to let
her have her say. She was frustratingly single-minded like that. “Do you
understand now? Why we shouldn’t do this? I don’t even know enough not to scare
a kid.”

“Really?” She drawled the word.

“Yeah, really. I scared the crap out of the kid, and I don’t
care. I gave him a warning.”

“Bullshit.” The words were clipped and clear. The British
accent had him hardening under the sheet.

“Bullshit?”

“You couldn’t look directly at Samara or Lucas.” Her hands
planted on the sheet, depressing the mattress a tad. “Don’t think I didn’t
notice.”

“You’re wrong.” He eyed her pale, delicate wrists close to
his side.

“I’m not.”

Instead of getting into a preschool
am not
,
am too
argument, he swiped at her wrists in a strong movement, pulling her chest over
him in one move and hoisting her legs onto the bed with his other hand.

“Oof.”She landed on his chest with a thud.

His cock went from semi-erect to fully ready to go. Even
through the sheet and blanket he could feel her warm body and breasts against
his chest. Their lips were inches apart. This time, she lowered her face to
kiss him. Her hands went from flattened on his pecs to hooking around his neck,
bringing their bodies together at every intriguing curve and hard plane.

He let her soft lips touch his and this time he parted his
lips, ready to taste her. They’d done a bit of kissing, but each time he’d been
aggressive, thrusting his tongue down her throat in a move more desperate than
loving. Now he relaxed back and let her lead.

Smartest thing he’d ever done. Her pink tongue ran along the
seam of his lips, then darted against the tip of his tongue and back out again.
She nibbled his lips and he mimicked her movements.

Soon her arms tightened around his neck, her hips undulated
against his and she deepened the kiss.

He groaned against her mouth and locked a hand on her ass,
bringing her down harder on him. The small, spare hospital-like room filled
with the small murmurs and wet noise of two people making out as though they’d
confront a firing squad if they stopped.

“Blanket,” Emma said in a low, breathy voice. Together they
ripped aside the fabric separating them and soon were skin-to-skin. Except for
her t-shirt, which had to go. He wore loose thin cotton pj bottoms with a
drawstring tie. She was fully clothed.

“Emma?” His hand paused at the hem of her shirt, waiting for
her consent. She straddled his hips, sat up and yanked the shirt over her head,
tossing it back to the abandoned chair where it landed on top of the
Post
Modern Pop Culture
textbook. Then she tugged off her bottoms. She was back
on him before he’d had a chance to fully admire her pretty pink nipples.

“Teach me how to pleasure you,” he groaned against her lips.
He’d been waiting for this moment all day. The anticipation had only ramped up
his desire.

Emma straddled her man and smiled down at him. Tears
threatened at the corners of her eyes but she held them, knowing her taciturn
match would never understand her tears. Xander would think he was hurting her,
or scaring her in some way. He wouldn’t comprehend she was damn happy he was
giving her a chance. Giving
them
a chance.

He’d asked how to pleasure her, claiming ignorance, and she
was going to teach him. Right here, right now. First she had to get her body
and her desire under control. She’d wanted him desperately since the moment
she’d hugged him in August when he’d rescued her from Paulson’s clinic. She’d
thought he was Adam at the time, but her feelings hadn’t changed when she’d
learned his true identity. If anything, they’d grown stronger.

She’d spent the first few weeks of her freedom on the
Program campus learning everything she could about the dark, mysterious man who
currently lay under her, looking at her as if she held the answers to his
entire future. Maybe she did. The same held true for him. There was a knowing,
soul deep, that they belonged together. That’s why it had hurt so much when
he’d shunned her. He was here now, and seemed willing to try to be together.
She was grabbing on with both hands.

“Lick my nipples,” she said in a low whisper. She rested her
palms on the mattress on either side of his face and leaned her chest over his
head. She didn’t want to tire him out. The man had escaped captivity less than
a day ago.

“You taste good,” he said in between licks. “Can I bite
you?”

Oh God, he’d actually sounded playful when he asked. It was
a side she’d never dared to dream she’d see of him. “Yes,” she gasped, so
aroused she ground her hips hard against him. His erection pushed against the
skin of her belly.

It wasn’t enough, she needed more, craved more. Her thighs
spread and she manipulated her lower half to notch his cock against her where
she wanted him most with only the thin cotton of his pajamas separating their
skin. They both groaned.

“Emma, I want to have sex with you again. Can we?”

She
loved
that he was practically begging. Later
she’d find it funny that he had to ask. As if he weren’t sure where this was
heading. As far as she was concerned, they’d been heading toward the naked
tango since he’d carried her inside last night.

“I will kill you if we
don’t
shag,” she said, moving
up his body to latch on to his mouth. She could honestly kiss the man all day.
His tongue rubbed hers. Wet, hot. Every nerve cell responded.

“I don’t have a condom,” he said, looking worried. The fact
he’d said it told her their earlier conversation still weighed heavily in his
mind.

“You don’t need to worry about it,” she said, angling her
arm to show him the implant Samara had given her the day after she and Xander
had sex the first time. A while back. “I’m on birth control.” A sudden thought
occurred to her. “It doesn’t protect against diseases. Doctor Wise checked me
for everything, but nothing’s ever foolproof, is it? I know you guys get
checked all the time and I get the sense you haven’t been with many women.”

He grabbed her to kiss her then pulled back. “I’m not
worried about disease.”

She planted her palms on his chest. “Maybe you should be. I
was in Paulson’s clinic for three months. I don’t recall every second of it.
They drugged me quite a bit. What if they did something else to me?” The
thought of Paulson’s two thug bodyguards touching her in any way made her want
to vomit. She’d done her best to block out the memory for months, telling
herself the ordeal was over, but what if it wasn’t? What if she contracted some
horrible STD that’d be with her for life? She realized her nails were now
digging into the skin on Xander’s chest.

He covered her hands with his. “Emma, don’t go there.
Paulson wouldn’t have let them touch you.”

“How do you know?” She met his gaze.

“Think about it. He was obsessed with genetics. He wasn’t
going to risk you getting pregnant with someone not your match.”

She thought about it for a moment. He was likely correct.
Still, she hated that there were unaccounted moments of her life.

“Emma.” Xander’s voice was strong and in her face. “Look at
me.”