Desire (Montana Dreams Book 3) (4 page)

A nagging prickle ran down his neck and wrapped its icy tendrils around his heart. It evoked a fear that as he unveiled the past, he would suffer the same as her. A happy, levelheaded Cadence didn’t crash easily. Whatever spooked her held power. Were his parents the cause of her personality change? Were they meddling again? They campaigned hard to remove Matt from Trina’s life. Had they found out about his and Cadence’s tryst and done the same to her?

“You have some thoughts going on there.” Matt poked Bradley’s forehead. “Want to share with the class?”

“Not yet.” He slipped his glove on and coiled the lead rope. Thor raced over to the rails, closest to the petting zoo, and hung his head over the top rail, neighing. “With training and,” he didn’t know how to say what he was doing with Cadence, “dealing,” he said after a long pause. “I need another set of hands. Do you have someone you can spare?”

“Actually I have two. I call them when I’m shorthanded.”

“I need one. Two will get in the way.”

Matt chuckled. “You got it. I’ll see if one of them is available tomorrow.”

Thor nickered softly, and Bradley glanced up. Cadence moved toward them, wearing the same clothes she’d worn yesterday. In the middle of the afternoon, she finally comes home. His stomach twisted and his jaw clenched.

****

Despite Bradley’s accusing glare, Cadence’s heart rocked in her chest like one of those hobbyhorses. It banged forward against her ribcage then pitched backwards. Seeing him after a sleepless night of erotic dreams, her pulse jumped.

She moved toward the round pen, and remembered him leaving with two women. A horse-kick sensation knotted her stomach, crushed her desires, and jerked her back into the familiarity of numbness. This time, the dull feeling didn’t come because of the accident. This time, it came from him flaunting two women in front of her. Her fault. She allowed him to think she didn’t want his company. No reason for Bradley to think that his presence might halt her from pursuing other men, as it had last night.

With a hand on her quivering stomach, she sucked in air and headed toward Bradley and Matt, a surge of mortification flushing her. For the first time, the impact of her behavior hit her full force. By falling down the pit of darkness, she didn’t have a job, didn’t have a clear mind to train a horse, and now faced a man that turned her insides to mush.

To gain her bearings and let the humiliating remnants from the walk dissipate, she avoided eye contact with
mush man
. “Hi, Matt! How’s Trina?”

“She’s cooking up a storm.”

The excitement her friend must be feeling tugged her lips into a smile. “She’s nesting.” As soon as she muttered her thought, her heart sank and emptiness ripped the good emotion out. Was something wrong with her? Enough time had passed since she lost her child to stop dwelling on it. How long did it take a person to move on? Yet, grief had no time limit. It knew no boundaries. It played havoc with emotions and reactions until by some mysterious marvel, it disappeared to some dark part of the brain, unheard yet not forgotten.

“I believe so.” Matt’s face lit up as he headed toward his house. “I’m gonna check on her. Catch you two later.”

When Bradley learned the truth, would he want her out of his sight? Could she give him totally up? When she left the hospital, she’d turned him away from having contact with her, but he wasn’t truly out of her life. She had control, held the reins, and steered their relationship in the direction she thought best, one that kept him wanting her and not disowning her. It was selfish, but once he heard her confession, she feared his opinion of her would change.

Days after their night together, she entertained the idea of a forever with him. A huge part of her really wanted him, still did, but her careless actions took away that option. She bit her lip and lifted her face toward the sky. Whitish-gray clouds hovered. Soon snow would fall, washing away everyone’s sins.
If only
that was a possibility for her.

A calloused thumb slid across her cheek, drying a tear she didn’t know fell. Cripes! She hated when they fell without her permission. “Let me in. Please, let me in.” During her sky gazing, he’d move out of the round pen. Now he gazed into her eyes with such sincerity, her heart leapt.

I want to but I can’t. Knowing I have you in my corner, even though not physically, is better than not having you at all.
“Soon.” She nodded, relieved that the nervousness stayed out of her tone. A huge feat since she would rather fall into his arms, spill her guts, and cuddle against his yummy chest.
If only
—those nauseating words drifted through her mind again, and she straightened her spine. “How’s Thor?”

For a heart-stopping moment, anger tightened his face, and she thought he’d push. Something in her eyes must have begged for space since he pointed to her horse, eating grain out of a bucket near the barn.

“He reacts to you in a way that I haven’t seen for a long time. When you pulled into the parking lot, he trotted close. I didn’t know what excited him at first.”

Odd, since he stayed away when she came near. “He’s not paying attention now.”

Giving her a sideways glance, Bradley rested his forearms on the round pen and clasped his hands together. The masculine act not only fluttered her stomach, it tugged on her girlie parts. “What I’m about to say, you already know, but whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours needs reminding.”

No doubt, he’d lecture her for being careless. Trina had. Matt even attempted it; he might as well take a shot. She set her jaw. “Go on.”

He scoffed. “You think I’m gonna rake you over the coals for staying with that cowboy.”

“No,” she lied. “That’d make you a hypocrite since you left with two women. Was your threesome fun?” The words flowed out on a snarl.

That got his attention, as he presented his front view. Covered up with barely any skin exposed, Bradley was still drool worthy. “Jealous?” he asked with a smug grin and cocked eyebrow.

“No, I had my hands full. Unlike you, one partner does the trick.” What was up with her mouth? She smacked a hand to it, and her eyes grew wide with more shame, as she waited for his reaction. But he didn’t say a word. Just stood there, looking hot and sexy in his sweatshirt, his expression unreadable. Still, anger radiated off him in the way his body stiffened and sending her a virtual slap across the cheek. “I didn’t mean that.”

“Sure you did,” he said. “You’re agitated, angry, hurt, and a number of other emotions. The horse doesn’t know if he is coming or going.” He twisted, his eyebrows narrowing. This time, his expression didn’t hold anything back. He was mad. Then he blinked, and the truth was revealed in the darkness of his gorgeous eyes and the way he hung his head. He was hurt!

I did that!
She rubbed a hand to her jacket-covered chest, but the discomfort increased. “I understand him. You’ve had me in fucking knots since you told me to get out of your life.” He moved closer, his boots hitting the toes of hers, something he did too often. “I don’t know what you’ve got up your butt. Don’t know if my parents have screwed with you like they did Trina, but I will not have it! Do you hear me?”

She did. She really did. Oxygen gone, she swallowed, and nodded her head.

“Good!” Before she registered his gaze dropping to her lips, and his uneven breaths, he grasped her arms and crushed his mouth to hers. Her breasts pebbled as he smashed them against his hard, heated body. His tongue sought out and drank her as if she quenched his thirst. The kiss was demanding, powerful, and…wonderful! About to cave and give in to this lightning-fast, inferno need to have him plastered against her naked body, the velocity of the kiss lessened. Something different and unusual replaced his hunger. What was it? And then it hit her…

Cripes!
What was she doing? Her body needed a time out along with her mouth. This kiss wasn’t about wanting her. It held pain. Not physical, but somehow his lips, tender and gentle, exposed the hurt deep within his soul. So deep, she couldn’t do this. She slid a hand to his chest and nudged him. He didn’t budge. Instead, his hands found her hips, and heavenly rocked her into his impressive erection.

No, kissing him was wrong.
Wrong!
“Stop!” Tears falling and her heart breaking again for torturing him, she rested her forehead against his chest. “I can’t, Bradley. I can’t.” She did an about-face. “Please, forgive me,” she whispered and headed toward the house to pack. Divine’s spacious grounds that had imparted her with a bit of reprieve from her burdens now banded an invisible lasso around her chest, constricting her breathing.
Somewhere, there’s a place where I won’t feel
.

****

“Too fast,” a sweet voice said from behind him. Travis’ girlfriend, Autumn, removed her ferret from his eye-level cage and attached a leash to his harness before setting him on the ground. Rufus charged toward Bradley as he met them at the entrance of the path to the training pen, and he pressed his front paws into Bradley’s chest. “Down boy.”

“He’s okay,” he said, enjoying something to pay attention to instead of Cadence’s sweet ass running into the house. He’d spent one day and night in his sister’s house and still hadn’t shared space under the roof with Cadence. More than likely, Autumn’s comment about “too fast” had to do with his reaction to his nemesis. “Is Divine closed?”

“Yeah, the last customer left a few minutes ago.”

Where did the day go?

Autumn moved closer. “She’s scared, you know.” She rubbed her right bicep. Underneath the light jacket was her snake arm cuff. During brunch yesterday morning in Travis’ kitchen, she rubbed it when they discussed Cadence. It must be her “go to” place, along with the rainbow necklace she kissed often.

“Yeah,” he said absently, still wigged out for letting the kiss get out of hand. He compared a skittish Cadence to a green horse. Staying in best friend mode, tender and caring, would earn trust and tear down the erected walls formed out of fear and pain.

Touching her and looking into her big, soothing tropical eyes, reminded him of the Caribbean waters, of peace and calmness. The same serenity he used to feel when he peered into them, before they turned sad and depressed. He’d planned to explain in more detail why the horse acted like a watched dog, but his cravings stampeded over him.

When he finally reined in his body to slow the fuck down, she stroked his chest, igniting a stronger wave of desire and knocking out the memory of her shooing him from her life. His hunger took matters out of his hands. He eased back and stared at his palms, not believing he held her, cupped her sweet cheeks. The dropping temperatures should have chilled his skin. Far from it, he was hot and sweaty.

“Okay then, I’ll go.”

Shoot, he ignored Autumn. “Sorry, my mind drifted. What did you say?”

She laughed. “Yeah, I love when my thoughts drift like that and my skin flushes.”

Hell! He lowered his chin and coughed, clearing his thoughts of Cadence. “I’m good. What’s up?”

Travis’ chuckle drifted toward him. “I hope that’s not an invitation to my girlfriend.”

“What?” Bradley flinched and arched an eyebrow. The last thing he needed was for Travis to think he made a move on her. “Damn, don’t do that.”

“Not to worry.” He pulled Autumn against him, her back to his front. “Destiny Tours is closed for the day. Picnic is packed and in the truck.” He pressed his cheek to hers. “Ready?”

Bradley’s pent up energy blew out on a harsh breath. It slayed him to watch their admiration for each other. “Have fun.” He stuck up a hand as he headed toward the house. “I don’t want a report.”

“Don’t forget what I said,” Autumn said, picking up Hopper.

With no clue what she’d said, and having an idea he should listen, he asked, “What’s that?”

Her lips twisted and her eyes sparkled. “Listen when she talks.”

That was a crash and burn setup. “Point taken.”

“No, seriously. That’s what I said when you zoned out. Don’t do that to her. Trust me, the type of kiss she gave you made
me
hot and bothered.”

“Say what?” Travis snuggled a laughing Autumn closer, nibbled on her neck, and aimed them toward his truck parked beside the hangar. “Later, Bradley.”

“Take it easy,” he said and stopped short of plowing into Trina. The drink she carried splashed over her fingers. “Sorry.” He draped an arm over her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “How are you holding up?”

With dark circles under her eyes and face pale, she looked beat. She leaned her head on his shoulder and handed him a drink. “For you. I figured you needed something to offset that kiss you planted on Cadence.”

The unavoidable conversation about him and Cadence looked him square in the face. He accepted the drink and downed several swallows. “Thanks.” A large snowflake spiraled down and dissolved in his drink.

“It’s been snow-kissed.” Trina laughed, resurrecting childhood memories of when they played in the snow and challenged each other to come up with the best “snow name.”

“Good one.” This time, he sipped the bourbon, appreciated she didn’t add a mixer, and savored the burn sliding down his throat. “Perfect flake.”

“You botched it with Cadence.” Her light tone turned serious.