Desire in the Sun (37 page)

She could not publicly admit, that she loved a man of color, that she had given herself to him again and again. It was cowardly of her, she knew, but she just couldn’t do it. Not to anyone, now or ever. Her good name meant too much to her. Her family meant too much to her. And Joss meant too much to her.

If she ever confessed, she would be signing Joss’s death warrant. Lilah knew as well as she knew her own name that her father would see Joss dead before the sun rose on another day if he knew the truth of what had happened on that island.

The reality of the situation in which she could so easily find herself if either she or Joss were not discreet had been brought home to her with a vengeance by her father. When he had arrived on the
Bettina
that morning in response to Captain Rutledge’s message sent to Heart’s Ease when they docked the day before, her father had been overjoyed to see her, shedding sentimental tears and clasping her to his heart. Kevin too had kissed her, and she had let him, not knowing what else to do.

Then the pair of them had started asking questions about Joss. Had he offered her insult? Had he been overly familiar? Had he dared to touch her? How many nights had the two of them spent alone, and under what conditions?

It had been abundantly clear as the first battery of questions was fired at her that the only way she could keep Joss safe was to lie about every single thing that had happened between them. She had already aroused their suspicions by insisting that Joss’s wounds be tended aboard the ship. Captain Rutledge reported that to her father as he pressed for payment for Joss’s medical care to be added to the promised reward, along with a sum for both Lilah’s and Joss’s board on the ship.

Her father, primed by Kevin’s terse account of her scandalous behavior over Joss in the Colonies, had been harsher than he ever had been with her. Only his long
habit of adoration of his only daughter had enabled her to calm him down.

But if she were to show more care for Joss than simple gratitude dictated, she would endanger his life.

Lilah looked at him now, silently furious as he stood there squinting against the bright sunlight, and willed him to understand. Though she doubted that he would. Joss’s nature was such that he wouldn’t count the cost if he loved. But for herself—Lilah supposed, miserably, that she was a coward. But the consequences were too dear.

With a little pang Lilah saw that his clothes were tattered, the black breeches and sapphire silk shirt reduced to near rags. His feet were bare on the scrubbed boards of the deck. His hair had grown long, and without a thong to confine it, hung in deep blue-black waves to his shoulders. The lines of that rakish mustache were blurred by a near week’s growth of beard. But even the unkept stubble could not disguise that his features were aristocratic, his mouth firm and well-shaped, his nose straight, his chin square. It could not disguise the slashing black eyebrows, or his eyes, which were the brilliant green of an exotic bird’s plumage. It could not disguise the unbowed stance and steady gaze of a proud man.

Looking at the haughty tilt of his chin, the arrogant lift of his brows as he looked them over even as they stared at him, Lilah thought that no man could ever, possibly, have looked less like a slave.

Iron shackles circled his wrists, linked by perhaps a foot of chain. As they registered on her consciousness for the first time, Lilah caught her breath. Then she managed, just barely, to get hold of her emotions before she gave herself away. Quickly she cast a glance sideways, first at Kevin and then at her father; they were looking at Joss, their eyes hard.

Lilah prayed that Joss would not say anything that would give them both away.

“This is the slave?” Her father spoke at last, sounding disbelieving, addressing the remark to Kevin. Dear disapproving Kevin, who had made it to a populated island that dreadful night, had been home in Barbados for as long as she had been on that island with Joss. For as long as it had taken her world to be forever changed. Her heart to be forever changed, although Kevin did not know that. Could never know it.

“He’s colored. I told you he could pass for white.”

“I see what you mean.”

Both men continued to study Joss as if he were a horse or some other livestock brought for their inspection. Lilah, able to stand that relentless green gaze no longer, looked up at her father.

“He saved my life, Papa.”

“So you told me.” He stared across at Joss a moment longer, frowning. “I don’t like this. If word gets out that you were alone with him for weeks …” He shook his head. “He has my gratitude for not letting you drown, and for saving you from what could have been an even worse fate at the hands of those thrice-damned pirates, but the plain truth is that it would be best if he were sold. We could leave him here, have Tom Surdock put him up at auction—”

“No!” Lilah’s response was instinctive. At the tightening in her father’s face, she hurried to explain the urgent note in her voice. Her father and Kevin must not guess. … “If—if you sold him, he—he might say something to someone. Something about—about me being alone with him for all that time. He never touched me, of course, but if people were to find out that we were shipwrecked together … You know how people love to gossip.”

Her eyes shifted for no more than a split second to Joss as she tried to gauge his reaction to her words. His expression remained impassive, though his eyes narrowed slightly, fixed on her face. Lilah prayed that he
would keep quiet. She went cold as she remembered his slow-building temper that had on more than one occasion culminated in a fiery explosion. If he were to lose his temper now, were to give in to the fury she knew he must be holding inside, all would be lost for them both. But if he was furious, he was hiding it well beneath that carved-teak face. Her eyes touched his once, briefly, fluttered over his face as swiftly and tentatively as a butterfly’s wings. Then she wrenched her gaze back to her father, who was shaking his head in refusal of her request.

Lilah spoke again, more desperately than before. “Papa, can’t you see that it would be better to keep him on Heart’s Ease, just until the talk dies down? You know that as soon as I get home, everyone will be just dying to hear the story of how I was shipwrecked. I can say there was another woman with me as well as a slave. But if he says something different … If they see him, see how—how white he looks, how—how … Well, I just think it’s better if no one sees him, don’t you? If we can keep him out of everyone’s way at Heart’s Ease, they’ll find something new to talk about before long. Then—then you can sell him, if you want.”

She cast another lightning glance at Joss, this one laden with guilt. If he read her silent apology, she saw no sign of softening in his face.

“I suppose you’re right,” her father grudgingly conceded after a long moment. Kevin said nothing, just looked at Joss with a narrow-eyed expression that Lilah didn’t like. He who had been privy to much of the gossip about her previous acquaintance with Joss, and had witnessed Joss’s shocking familiarity at the slave auction, had special reason to hate the fact that Joss had spent all those weeks with her alone. Kevin’s dislike of Joss emanated from him as clearly as the faint smell of sweat. There would be trouble between those two sooner or later, if she did not find some way of heading it off.

But she could not worry about that now. She had to concentrate on convincing her father, Kevin, and the world, that Joss meant nothing at all to her except for the fact that he had saved her life. Gratitude was an acceptable emotion from mistress to slave, and for the delectation of the outside world that was all she felt for Joss. That wasn’t much, not compared to what she really felt, but it would serve to explain any special effort she might make for him.

“You, boy. What’s his name? Joss? You, Joss. Come here.”

Her father spoke brusquely, the sudden change in his tone as he addressed the man he saw as nothing more than a slave startling. Lilah watched the two men cross looks sharp as swords, and held her breath. She willed Joss to keep his tongue and do as he was told. Her father had a temper every bit as volatile as Joss’s. Though he was a kind master, Leonard Remy brooked no insolence from his slaves. And to him, Joss was a slave, a piece of property belonging to Heart’s Ease, nothing more. The only problem was, Joss refused to recognize his lowly status, or realize the peril in which it placed him. In his own mind, he was still Jocelyn San Pietro, English sea captain and businessman, and a free man. The two men’s differing perceptions of Joss’s role were a recipe for disaster.

Lilah’s one hope was to get Joss to the comparative safety of Heart’s Ease without incident. There, in the natural order of things, Joss and her father would rarely set eyes on one another.

Once she had him safe on Heart’s Ease, and the tension had eased somewhat, she would do what she could to get him free. If only Joss would trust her, and be patient until then! But knowing Joss as she did, she did not think he would be patient for long. The miracle was that he had been silent up to now.

Joss slowly walked forward, stopping a respectful few
feet from her father, and Lilah breathed a silent sigh of relief. He was being cautious, waiting to see what would happen before he took any action. Thank the Lord!

“You saved my daughter’s life. More than once.” It was a statement, not a question. “Why?” The question was hard, shot at Joss like a bullet. Joss’s eyes never wavered.

“I would not let harm come to any innocent person if I could prevent it.”

The answer was perfect. Direct but revealing nothing of their secret. Lilah could feel some of the tension leaving her father’s body. On her other side, Kevin stood as stiffly as ever. Suspicion was in his eyes, and he seemed to watch her as well as Joss as Joss spoke.

“You have my gratitude.”

Joss merely inclined his head. Leonard shot a glance down at his daughter standing silent and pale beside him, then looked at Joss again.

“She says you’ve done naught to impugn her honor.” It was both hard challenge and question.

“Papa!” Lilah was scandalized. She glared up at her father indignantly. How could he ask such a question with so many ears to hear?

“Hush, girl! ‘Tis as well to have this out in the open, at once.” He looked from Lilah to Joss, his eyes narrowed and weighing. “Well, boy, answer! Have you done aught to be ashamed of with my girl?”

“Papa, you’re embarrassing me!” Lilah’s protest was fueled as much by alarm as embarrassment. Knowing Joss, she was terrified that his pride would not permit him to lie. And if he admitted to anything resembling the truth, he was a dead man and she was not much better off.

“I said hush!” His tone was as harsh as it ever got when speaking to his beloved only child. Lilah, silenced, could only look at Joss with silent pleading. He
never even met her eyes. His attention was all on her father.

“You may rest assured that I have never, and would never, dishonor a lady, Mr. Remy.”

Lilah caught the veiled barb in that, but she was too relieved at the diplomacy of the answer to quibble. So he was letting her know, oh so subtly, that he didn’t classify her as a lady. Well, she’d make him pay for that—but later, much later, and in her own way.

“Very well, then.” Her father’s eyes shifted to her face briefly, and she felt about two inches tall as she read the relief in them. Clearly he believed that she was still as virginal as she had been when she had left Barbados. Well, guilt might be uncomfortable, but the truth would be far worse. Her father was appeased; far be it from her to disillusion him!

Leonard then addressed Captain Rutledge, who had held himself apart from the discussion.

“If you will, keep him aboard until I can make arrangements to have him transported to my plantation. I’ll send some men by later today, or certainly no later than tomorrow morning, to collect him. I thank you again for your kindness to my daughter, and I know you will understand when I tell you that I’m anxious to be away home. My future son-in-law …” Here Leonard’s voice swelled with pride, and he repeated the favored words with an affectionate glance at Kevin, “My future son-in-law and I are going to get this girl home and keep her there. No more jaunting about the world for her! I’ll see her safe married, and no more of this worrying about her! Her stepmother is no doubt going out of her mind even as we speak, wondering what’s taking me so long to bring her home again.”

Leonard held out his hand to Captain Rutledge, who took it and pumped it with the first smile Lilah had ever seen on his face.

“Children are the very devil, aren’t they? I’ve six
boys, so you know I’m no stranger to worry meself!” He let go of Lilah’s father’s hand, and reached out to tweak her cheek in a teasingly avuncular fashion. “Go along of your father now, Miss Remy, and much happiness to you. I’m just thankful I didn’t let my temper get the best of me when we hauled you out of the sea, and hang you and your man with the rest!”

“I’m—thankful, too, Captain,” Lilah said, able to think of no other reply. Then her father was tucking her hand in his arm, leading her away. As she was escorted down the gangplank, she was conscious every step of the way of a pair of emerald eyes boring holes in her back.

XLV