Desire and Deception (60 page)

His sensuous play scalded her. Lauren writhed at the moist, seeking kisses Jason pressed so intimately upon her, and when his hot tongue claimed her, she arched in ecstasy, straining against him with shameless yearning. At last, Jason's pulsing manhood glided smoothly into her, and a brilliant burst of radiance sent her world careening.

When Lauren opened her eyes, she found Jason smiling tenderly down at her. "My beautiful lioness," he said softly, smoothing a damp curl from her face.

Slowly, then, his hard member began to explore the velvet warmth enveloping him. Lauren was almost too drained to respond, but Jason's exquisite movements soon aroused her desire again. He whispered sensuous words of love in her ear, making her blood quicken fiercely, and when he began the spiraling journey to breathless heights, she soared with him, higher and higher and higher. . . .

Dusk was gathering around them when Lauren's gold-tipped lashes fluttered open. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but the combined effect of the warm afternoon and Jason's passion had consumed her energy. He was lounging on his side next to her, his head propped up by his hand, his blue eyes soft and warm as he gazed down at her. Guessing that he had been watching her sleep, Lauren stretched lazily and smiled up at him, completely sated and content.

Jason's sharp intake of breath was audible. "Stop looking at me like that, Lauren, if you want to get home tonight."

Provocatively, she trailed a finger down the fine hairs on his muscular chest. "Like what, darling?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean!" Grabbing her exploring hand, he kissed her quickly on the lips and gave her bare thigh a gentle slap. "You're a shameless, wanton wench!
And shiftless, too.
Now, bestir yourself. Lila kindly invited us to dinner and we shouldn't be late."

"Why didn't you tell
me!
" Lauren leapt to her feet, catching up her clothes. "Lila will be sending a search party out for us any minute now," she muttered under her breath.

Jason grinned as he stood up and stretched. "I don't think so. I specifically warned her not to."

"Oh, God!"
Lauren groaned. "That's worse. Now she'll read me a lecture about how a married woman should conduct herself."

Chuckling at her persecuted expression, Jason pulled on his breeches. As he tugged on his gleaming boots, he asked casually, "What were you doing when I found you, by the way? Grave robbing?"

Lauren turned away, pretending to be occupied with getting dressed. "I . . . it was nothing really."

Shrugging into his shirt, Jason came to stand behind her and solicitously began fastening the hooks on her gown. "Lauren—"

Knowing he meant to pursue the subject, Lauren hastened to speak of something else. "You haven't told me about your trip," she said with false brightness.

She couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard Jason give a sigh. "It went well," he replied. "I saw Claude."

There was something in Jason's voice that made Lauren want to shiver. Turning, she saw that he was regarding her intently. "And?" she pressed, directing a questioning glance up at him, though not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Rafael returned some time ago to the Mediterranean. Claude thinks I might find him in Algiers." There was a pause,
then
Jason said very solemnly, "I have to go, Lauren."

She lowered her gaze. "I . . . I know. When do you leave then?"

"I've ordered that the Siren be ready to sail for England in three days."

Her eyes flew back to his face. "Three days?" she breathed.
"So soon?"

Jason touched her cheek. "You still have time to change your mind and come with me."

Lauren held up a hand as if to ward him off. "No, please . . ." Something flashed in Jason's eyes, whether pain or anger or something else she couldn't tell. "I . . . I'm sorry," she said quietly, "but I can't."

This time Jason's sigh was audible.
"Very well, sweetheart.
It's your choice." Stepping back, Jason looped his cravat around his neck and began the difficult job of arranging it into a fashionable fall.

As she watched, Lauren felt tears sting her eyes. Her beautiful world had suddenly crumbled.

When Jason's face blurred in her vision, she turned away to draw on a stocking. Why now, when she needed it most, had she lost the ability to turn off her feelings?
she
wondered bitterly. The pain wouldn't go away, and she was unable to pretend otherwise.

She tried to hide her misery in inconsequential chatter, though. As she mechanically finished dressing, Lauren forced herself to ask Jason what
Barataria
was like. And while she pinned her hair into a semblance of order, Lauren listened to her husband recount the details of his trip.

But she couldn't fully meet his gaze. Nor could she even manage a shaky smile as she took his proffered arm. In fact, Lauren had to bite her lip to stop its quivering. She was totally silent and subdued as she walked with Jason back to the house.

From her position on the foredeck of the
Siren,
Lauren could see most of the ship's crew. They were hard at work, unfurling sails and preparing to weigh anchor. Lauren paid no attention to the bustling activity around her, though. She had eyes only for one man—and the tears that threatened to fall again tended to obscure her view of Jason.

She had come with him to the ship in order to prolong the moment of parting for as long as possible. Unfortunately, Jason had been needed almost at once, and he had excused himself, ordering her to stay out of the way of the sailors. Now he was speaking to Kyle and another man. No doubt their conversation concerned when to cast off, Lauren thought miserably, turning away. Perhaps she should have said goodbye at home as Jason had suggested. Now, of necessity, their farewell would be rushed and impersonal.

No! Lauren vowed to herself. She would not let him go that way. She would demand a moment of privacy—

"Sweetheart?"

Lauren gave a start, realizing Jason had come to stand beside her and was regarding her calmly. "Would you come below with me? I can hardly kiss you here as I would like."

Lauren smiled tremulously, grateful this time that he had read her thoughts. Placing a hand on his sleeve, she allowed him to lead her to his cabin.

He didn't take her in his arms at once as she expected, but instead went to the infamous desk and opened a drawer. Withdrawing a small slim box, Jason presented it to her silently.

Lauren glanced at him questioningly before opening it, then gave a soft cry when she saw the jeweled necklace inside. It was a small golden heart, exquisitely surrounded by emeralds, hung on a slender chain. Giving the heart a closer inspection, she saw the engraving on the face—a tiny but proudly soaring hawk, the symbol of the Carlin ships.

The ache in Lauren's throat was so painful that she couldn't speak. The tears spilled over as she looked up at Jason, meeting his brilliant blue gaze.

When she flung herself into his arms, he held her close, letting her cry, but after a moment, he chided her gently. "If I had known you were going to turn into such a watering pot, Cat-eyes, I would never have allowed you to come. I can't bear to see a beautiful woman cry—especially you."

"You made me by giving me such a beautiful gift," Lauren sobbed against his shoulder.

"I'm beginning to regret it. You're wetting my coat again."

Looking up, she saw Jason's tender smile and was ashamed for spoiling their last moments together. Making a great effort to control herself, she drew away, wiping her eyes. Then she took a deep, steadying breath and rummaged through her reticule till she found her gift to Jason. "I have something for you as well."

She watched anxiously as he unwrapped the miniature of
herself
. Jason looked at the small portrait for a long while, the expression in his blue eyes inscrutable. Lauren couldn't even tell what he was thinking when he at last tore his gaze away to meet hers. The ache in her throat grew. "So you won't forget me," Lauren managed to say huskily before the tears choked her again.

Setting down the miniature, Jason drew Lauren to him. Cupping her face in his hands, he pressed a kiss on her trembling mouth. "I could never forget you, my precious love," he whispered. "How could I when you own my heart? I leave it with you, Lauren. Keep it safe."

Clinging to Jason, Lauren wept again softly, wishing she could be stronger. She didn't know how long she stood there being comforted by him, but the velvet sound of his voice roused her from her morass of self-pity. "It's time for you to go, sweetheart."

Taking another ragged breath, Lauren nodded and searched through her reticule again till she found a handkerchief. As she dried her eyes, she listened to Jason's last-minute instructions.

"If you need anything at all," he was saying, "you're to contact Sauvinet. I've arranged with him to handle your business affairs, and he'll also see that Veronique is given an adequate income in payment for acting as your companion. I cannot like the idea of you two
living
in town, but I suppose I'll have to be satisfied. At least Lila and Jean-Paul will be nearby to watch over you. I'll remind you once more, though, Lauren, of your promise to stay away from the casino."

"I remember," she said in a low voice.

Jason smiled. "Good. Then I'll try not to worry about you above twenty times a day."

Her eyes bright with unshed tears, Lauren flung her arms around his neck and held him tightly. "But I'll worry about you. You will be careful?"

"Of course, sweetheart.
It may take some time for me to settle my business with Rafael, and I have other affairs that need tending, but I'll try to return in six months or so. Perhaps we may even be able to spend Christmas together."

Jason kissed her once more,
then
pried himself from Lauren's almost desperate hold. Taking her elbow, he steered her above deck.

She said good-bye to Kyle and took one last glance around her before Jason escorted her down the gangway where Veronique waited for her. He helped Lauren into the carriage,
then
leaned across to plant a swift, hard kiss on her lips. "Farewell, my love. Take care of yourself." Then he turned on his heel and strode away.

With something akin to shock, Lauren watched him go. A myriad of emotions warred inside her, but amazement was the most prevalent. In her heart she had never quite believed Jason would actually leave her. Deep down, she had cherished a secret hope that he would stay. Certainly she had expected him to try and change her mind. In fact, she had half suspected that Jason would force her to go with him, or trick her into it, as he had when he had married her. Yet, incredulously, he had walked away, without once looking back, as if it mattered not at all that her heart was breaking.

She bit her lip to keep herself from calling him back. The decision to stay had been hers, Lauren reminded herself. She couldn't go with him. Nothing had
changed—at least nothing
but the fact that she loved Jason Stuart to distraction. She was still a bastard. She would still go to prison if her impersonation were ever discovered. She still had no right to subject Jason to such a scandal. And she still couldn't face his hatred when he learned the truth.

The three days had raced by. Although Lauren had tried to accept the idea of his departure bravely, in truth she had been despondent and depressed during their last days together. Their lovemaking had held a hint of desperation, at least on her part. She hadn't put into words her sorrow and
despair
, though she had known Jason could sense her feelings.

How desolate she felt already, Lauren thought as she watched Jason board the ship. Not even the thought of his child lying deep in her womb could comfort her. She had longed to tell him about that, but she had known it would be a mistake. She had only been able to console herself with the hope that Jason would return in time to be with her for the birth of their child.