Desert Stars (20 page)

“
What?” Mira exclaimed.
Jalil stopped and turned back around.

“
That’s right,” said
Kariym. He tossed his cigarette butt to the dirt and ground it out
with his foot. “We’re only about eight hundred miles from the
temple. You wouldn’t even need a sub-orbital shuttle to get there;
just a normal jetplane.”

“
Truly?” said Jalil. “And
how long should that take us?”

“
Not long; perhaps three
or four hours. If you catch a flight today, you can make it to the
temple by tomorrow.”

An electric shock shot down Jalil’s
spine, extending through his arms to the tips of his fingers. The
news brightened his mood like a cool evening breeze after a
blindingly hot day.

“
The spaceport’s not far
from here either,” said Kariym. “There’s a train line that connects
to it direct from the border crossing. Ask around, and you should
find it.”

“
Thank you,” said Jalil.
An irrepressible grin spread across his face, and his heart began
to beat faster with anticipation.

“
Don’t mention it. Just
remember to pray for us.”

“
I will. Believe me, I
will.”

“
Then may the peace of
Earth be upon you, brother.”

“
And upon you, as
well.”

Jalil turned to Mira. “Are you
ready?”

“
Yes,” she whispered. For
some reason, she seemed a little upset—but Jalil was so excited, he
hardly noticed.

* * * * *

Tomorrow,
Mira thought to herself as she followed Jalil
down the wide, skylit corridor of the spaceport terminal.
Tomorrow, Jalil leaves forever.

“
Here’s our gate,” said
Jalil. He stopped at a row of empty benches and dropped their bags
as he sat down.

“
How long before we
board?” Mira asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. She
took her seat next to him, leaning forward with her elbows on her
knees.

He squinted and looked off to a screen
on the opposite wall. “One hour and fifteen minutes.”

Mira nodded and swallowed. Even though
the sun shone harshly in a dark blue sky, the cloudy overhead
windows diffused its light, illuminating the terminal in a bright
but softened glow. It felt a little bit unreal, like something out
of a dream—a dream where everything was slipping out of her
control.

Jalil turned and smiled at her, his
muscular arms spread out casually over the back of the bench. Her
heart pounded in her chest as she realized that this might be one
of the last times she would be alone with him without anything to
interrupt them. If she was ever to make a move, it would have to be
now.

“
Are you all right?” he
asked. “You look pale all of a sudden.”

“
It’s—it’s nothing,” she
said, casting her eyes down. When she glanced back up at him, a
troubled expression clouded his face—a look of genuine concern. He
gently touched her arm, and she bit her lip and began to
tremble.

“
Mira?” he said, his voice
soft. “What’s wrong?”

She took in a deep breath. “I was just
thinking: when we arrive at the temple, and the journey’s over…”
Her voice trailed off.

His deep blue eyes met hers, and all
the unfamiliar sights and sounds in the lightly trafficked terminal
faded, leaving just the two of them. For the first time that day,
she realized she wasn’t wearing her headscarf—yet somehow that no
longer bothered her. In his presence, she felt whole, as if they’d
shared a lifetime together.

“
Are you going miss us?”
she asked.

“
Of course I’ll miss you,”
Jalil said. “But how can I spend the rest of my life not knowing
who I am or where I’m from? I’ve got to find out, Mira, no matter
what it takes.”

“
But does that mean you
have to leave us?”

“
If it means finding my
home, then yes.”

His answer shattered her. She felt as
if her heart had dropped through the floor, leaving a terrible
wound in her chest.

“
Will you miss me?” she
whispered.

He blinked, and his body grew suddenly
tense. “Of—of course,” he stuttered.

Adrenaline surged through her body as
she put her hand on his knee. His eyes widened a little, but he
gave no resistance as she moved closer to him.

“
Do you love
me?”

He opened his mouth as if to speak,
but said nothing. Mira leaned forward until their lips were almost
touching. Her breath caught in her throat, and for a gut-wrenching
moment she feared he would push her away.

But he didn’t. Instead, his mouth
parted ever so slightly, and he leaned forward to meet her. She
closed her eyes and tilted her head back, and their lips touched,
sending shivers down her spine. Her body tensed for a fraction of a
second—just a tiny fraction—before turning to water in his
arms.

It was exactly as she’d
imagined.

But then without warning, Jalil’s body
stiffened and tensed. Before she could react, he pushed her away
and rose hastily to his feet.

“
What’s wrong?” she asked,
fear seizing her. “What did I—”

“
Nothing, nothing,” he
said, his cheeks blushing bright red. “Are you hungry?”

An awful sinking feeling grew in
Mira’s gut. She looked into Jalil’s eyes, but saw no recognition of
the moment they’d just shared—no acknowledgment that anything had
changed between them.

“
Hungry?” she
whispered.

“
Yes, hungry. It’s been a
while since we’ve eaten, and I don’t know about you, but I’m
famished.”

Don’t let him
go!

“
But what
about—”

“
Stay here with the bags.
I’ll be back in a minute.” Before Mira could protest, he was
already walking away down the terminal.

She leaned forward and buried her head
in her hands. Tears stung her eyes, and she wished more than
anything that she could hide behind her headscarf. True, she still
had one in her bag, but now wasn’t the time to put it on—not at
all.

Mother was right,
she thought to herself, hugging her chest.
Why do you think God gave you these?
Her breath came short and fast, and her head swam
with dizziness. More than anything, she felt small—small,
powerless, and hopelessly inexperienced. But if it was the only
way…

When you’re alone
together, you’ll know what to do.

* * * * *

Jalil couldn’t stop thinking about the
kiss. It haunted his thoughts the entire flight, though Mira barely
spoke a word. He glanced at her frequently from out of the corner
of his eye, but she seemed strangely melancholy, absorbed in her
thoughts.

They flew low over a flat, featureless
landscape—an unbroken sea of glass. The plane barely skimmed the
surface, relying on its jets as much as its wings to stay aloft.
The atmosphere above the domes was so thin, the sky was dark even
in the middle of the day. The harsh sunlight glinted off of the
reflective surface, causing the autotinted windows to dim as they
landed in the late afternoon.

The kiss still preoccupied him as he
found a place for them to spend the night. The memory of her lips
pressed against his shook him to his core in a way that nothing
else ever had. It was as if he’d lived his whole life in black and
white, and only now could see color. A host of new emotions swelled
within him, ones that he’d felt on occasion but never truly
understood.

The hotel he found for them stood on
the edge of the spaceport compound. The rates were a bit pricey,
but here above the world it was the cheapest place he could find.
Their room sat on the edge of the sprawling complex, with an
unobstructed view of the endless sea of glass. When they first
entered, the sun was low over the horizon, reflecting in brilliant
shades of orange and red. It soon set, however, transforming the
sky into cascading shades of purple and black. The stars and
satellites came out soon after, shining so brilliantly that Jalil
almost felt he could reach out and take them in his
hand.

He spread out his bedding on the floor
as usual, but took a moment to lie face up on top of the bed while
Mira was getting ready for the night. The skylight window filled
almost the entire ceiling, giving him an unobstructed view of
space. As he pondered the events of the day, Mira came out from the
bathroom and sat down next to him, taking a moment to share the
view.

Two months ago,
Jalil thought,
I would
have cringed at the thought of spending the night in the same room
as Mira.
Now, he barely gave it a second
thought.

Without a word, Mira reached over and
ran her fingers through his hair. Jalil tensed a little, but made
no move to stop her. The soft starlight illuminated her face and
gave her a dreamy beauty. They stared silently into each others’
eyes for some time, savoring the moment.

What’s this?
he wondered.
Another
kiss?

His heart beat a little faster as she
continued to stroke his hair. Her touch was surprisingly pleasant,
and he let out a long breath as his body relaxed. With her other
hand, she gently undid his belt. He considered stopping her, but
felt too tired to offer any resistance.

She paused for a moment to unbutton
the front of his robes, leaving his chest bare. He shifted warily
as if to sit up, but she bent down and pressed her lips against
his, sending tingles down his spine. His head swam with dizziness,
and the tension melted right out of him.

As they kissed, she climbed up until
she was straddling him. Something told him that they were about to
cross a line, but he felt like a spectator in his own body, unable
to do anything but watch.

They kissed again. Her breath felt
warm against his cheek, and his own breath started to come a little
heavier. He felt a powerful urge to hold her, to reach his own
hands around her body, stroke her hair, her shoulders, her hips. A
primal hunger opened deep within him, coloring his feelings and
desires until they lost all coherence.

Mira pulled away from him and sat up,
reaching down to her waist with crossed arms. In one smooth motion,
she pulled her shirt over her head, letting it fall to the floor.
The glow of the stars illuminated her skin in a soft, diffuse
light, playing off of her shoulders and breasts.

Jalil drew in a sharp
breath and began to sweat as Mira leaned forward and started
rubbing his chest.
Is this wrong?
It reminded him of the girls at the cantina,
though that seemed like such a distant memory. He hesitated,
imprisoned in a tangled web of conflicting thoughts and feelings,
but the urge to hold her was too great. As he reached his hands
around Mira’s back and drew her closer to him, she leaned forward
and pressed her lips against his in a kiss more vigorous than the
first. The lust in his body pulsed and burned until it threatened
to tear him apart.

As he undid the sash around her waist,
however, he felt her grow tense for a fraction of a second. A wave
of shame washed over him, and his arms and hands trembled with
revulsion as he realized what he was doing. He felt as if he were
covered in human excrement—covered so deep he was swimming in it.
He pushed Mira off of him and tumbled to the floor.

“
Jalil?”

He ignored her and stumbled through
the door to the bathroom. The ceiling here was opaque; a dim yellow
light switched on automatically as he entered. He found a sink and
splashed cold water across his face, trying to cool his sweaty,
trembling body.

“
Jalil, what’s wrong?”
came Mira’s voice behind him. He felt her hand on his
shoulder.

“
Get away,” he practically
screamed. She hesitated by the door for a moment before leaving,
the sound of her bare feet pattering against the floor.

He stood over the sink for a long
time, cold water dripping down his chest as his breath came short
and ragged. Gradually, the fire in his body died down, leaving him
little more than a cold, burned-out shell.

When he returned to the bedroom, he
found Mira sitting on the bed, still only partially dressed. She
watched him with anxious eyes, as if fearful that he would strike
her.

“
Jalil?” she asked in a
trembling voice. “What’s wrong?”

“
We can’t do this,” he
said. “It’s wrong.”

“
What do you mean? I—I
love you.”

“
This isn’t love. It’s
something else.”

“
But—but please, don’t
you—I mean—”

Her voice cracked, and she started to
break down into tears. Jalil found himself at a total
loss.

“
What’s the matter?” he
asked.

“
Don’t you think I’m
beautiful? Don’t you think I’m good enough for you?”

This isn’t the Mira I
know,
he realized.
Something else is going on here.