Desert Rain (12 page)

Shannon didnt fall in bed or in love with the men who pursued her. Neither did Holly.

Shannon didnt want to be purchased and worn like a life-size charm on a rich mans
bracelet. Neither did Holly.

Shannon dreamed of Linc, felt his skin beneath her palms, tasted him on her lips. So did
Holly.

Shannon was intelligent, hard-working, and responsible. She wanted to be the best, and she
was. She was the Royce Reflection.

And so am I, Holly thought. Slowly, imperceptibly, the two expressions of her personality
had grown together.

Or maybe its just that I grew up,she thought.Im finally able to accept all of myself. Im
plain Holly and fancy Shannonand so is every woman.

But the essential inner person was the same no matter what the outside trappings, plain or
fancy. The woman beneath the changing exterior was herself unchanging.

And that woman loved and wanted to be loved by only one man. Lincoln McKenzie. Is the idea
of having babies so boggling? Beth asked. Holly blinked, called out of her own thoughts.
She smiled.

Not at all, she said. Ill just have to get Roger to design a line of maternity clothes.

Your boss designs clothes?

No more questions about my boss or my work until midnight tomorrow, Holly said quickly.

Ask you no questions and youll tell me no lies? Beth said, smiling, yet somehow tentative.

I wouldnt lie to you. I havent lied to Linc.

Thank God, Beth said. He hates that most of all.

Holly sighed.

Well, I havent told Linc all of the truth, either, she admitted. But then, if your dear
brother had twenty-twenty vision instead of blind prejudices, I wouldnt have to!

Beth looked shocked, then laughed aloud.

Youre going to be good for him, Beth said. Hes too used to being the boss all the time.

Still laughing, Beth hurried off to her own room to hang up her prized new clothes.

Come to my bedroom when youre finished, Holly called after her. I have something to show
you.

Holly took her own luggage and makeup case to the guest room. Beth came in moments later.
She poked through the makeup case while Holly unpacked.

By the time she was finished hanging up her clothes, Beth was elbow deep in makeup. When
she looked up and saw Holly watching her, the expression on Beths face was a combination
of apology and sheer stubbornness.

Instead of saying anything, Holly sat down next to Beth on the bed. Well? the younger girl
asked defiantly. Well what?

Beth looked at herself in the makeup cases mirrored lid.

I like it, Beth said firmly.

Privately, Holly thought Beth looked wretched. Black eyebrows, black lashes, scarlet lips
and cheeks, powder everywhere, burying her skins normal healthy glow.

The makeup had been applied without thought to age, natural coloring or to the individual
lines of Beths face.

But Holly said nothing aloud. She had learned that using makeup correctly, like cooking or
painting, was a learned skill. No one was born with it.

Let me try something, Holly said in a mild voice.

She turned the mirror aside so that Beth couldnt watch what was happening. Then Holly
removed makeup from half of Beths face, sorted through the available cosmetics, and chose
different colors.

In class, Holly said, we were told to put our normal makeup on half our face. Then the
teacher came around and made up the other half.

As Holly talked, she worked quickly, her years of practice showing in each deft stroke.

Makeup is as individual as the person wearing it, she said. What Im using on you now would
look odd on you at twenty-five, ridiculous at thirty-five, and pathetic at forty-five.

Beth continued to look stubborn.

She and Linc are a real pair,Holly thought dryly.But then, Im no fragile little flower,
either.

Each age has its own unique needs and beauty, Holly said. But what Im using now would look
terrible on me at any age, including fifteen.

Why? The same reason most of the colors I wear would look terrible on you. What do you
mean? Beth asked.

Im dark, Holly said matter-of-factly. Youre blond. I have light brown eyes. You have light
blue. My nose is off-center. Yours is perfect. You have lovely full lips. I dont. My
cheekbones and eyes are too slanted

Too slanted! Beth interrupted in disbelief. Theres no such thing.

Holly just smiled.

My face is triangular, she continued. Yours is oval. In short, we need different makeup to
bring out our special qualities.

I dont have any special qualities to bring out, Beth muttered gloomily.

Sure you do. But you wont see them if theyre buried under piles of makeup.

Holly worked in silence for a few more moments, concentrating on the mascara. She added a
touch more blush to bring out Beths cheekbones, examined the results, and nodded.

Can I look now? Beth asked. Sure. Beth grabbed the makeup case and lifted the lid. For a
long time she studied the two halves of her face. Boy, she said finally. You know a lot
more about makeup than I do.

With that the younger girl grabbed tissue and cold cream and wiped off the makeup that
Holly hadnt applied. Then Beth studied her face again. Carefully she compared the right
side, which had makeup, to the left side, which had none.

While Beth looked in the mirror, Holly undid the girls right braid, leaving the left braid
untouched. She brushed the freed half of Beths shining, waist-length hair until it was
smooth. Then Holly pulled the hair back from Beths face and began styling it in different
ways.

Finally Holly made loose French braids on the side and crown to keep the hair from
overwhelming Beths face. The remainder of the hair on the right side of her head was left
free to fall in honey waves down the center of her back. The result was a simple yet
sophisticated style that brought out the oval perfection of Beths face.

A shampoo and some hot rollers will take out the kinks from wearing pigtails, Holly said.
I have some earrings that will be perfect with your new skirt.

Belatedly she realized that Beth wasnt listening.

Beth?

Huh?

Then Beth blinked as though waking up and tore her glance away from the makeup mirror.

Is that really me? she whispered to Holly. My eyes look so blue. And big. And my hairI
even like my hair! What did you do to my cheekbones? I dont look like a kid anymore. How
did you do it?

Yes, said Lincs cold voice from the doorway. Do tell me how you turned a sweet young kid
into a tart.

Beth froze, looking guilty and defiant at the same time.

Holly kept her back to the door and spoke as though Linc wasnt there.

Hold the mirror so that you can watch, she said to Beth. Ill show you what I did.

She put her fingers under Beths chin and turned the pigtailed, plain side of her face
toward Linc.

He drew in a swift, hard breath as he measured the difference in the two halves of his
sisters face.

A closed, savage look settled over Lincs face. His whole stance changed. He was a stranger
again, staring scornfully at a woman whose beauty offended him.

Hollys stomach turned to ice. My God,she thought.Linc knows Beth! He knows that she isnt
selfish or cruel, yet hes looking at

her like he hates her.

Its the way he looked at Shannon.

Its the way hell look at me when he finds out.

Only the helpless pleading in Beths eyes kept Holly from losing her temper or crying out
of despair.

Willing her hands not to tremble, she began applying a sheer foundation to the left side
of Beths face.

No, Linc snarled. Youll make her look like a two-dollar slut!

The sound Beth made stopped him abruptly. Swearing beneath his breath, he fought for
self-control.

It had never been harder for him to find it.

Without pigtails and a scrubbed face, Beth was the image of her beautiful, adulterous
mother.

As though nothing had happened, Holly continued applying makeup with sure strokes.

No more, Linc said curtly.

Holly didnt even pause. Nor did she look up from Beths face.

Holly, damn it! he said.

Are you calling off our truce? she asked.

If anyone is calling it off, you are, Linc retorted with cold fury.

In silence she compared the foundation she had just applied to what was already in place
on the rest of Beths face. The match was good. Holly picked up the pale brown eyebrow
pencil.

Im not arguing, she said evenly. You are. I havent even raised my voice. It took every bit
of her professional poise to appear casual as she set aside the eyebrow pencil, picked

up pale turquoise eye shadow, and turned back to Beth.

A two-dollar floozy, Holly continued in a neutral voice, wears brassy makeup and puts it
on with a trowel.

My point exactly, Linc shot back.

This makeup, she said, is chosen for subtlety and there isnt a trowel in sight.

His face became completely expressionless. He crossed his arms and leaned against the
door. He looked unreasonably big, filling the opening.

Beauty is as beauty does, he said flatly. No argument there, she said. She reached for a
pale, warm-toned eye shadow to blend with the turquoise. But youve done your best to keep
Beth as plain as possible, havent you? Holly pointed out. You can bet on it. Why? Holly
asked softly. Dont you trust her? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Beth stirred at
the whiplash of her brothers voice. Holly pressed a hand over the younger girls arm,
silently urging her to stay where she was. I mean, Holly said, that youve chosen Beths
clothes and hairstyle with an unerring eye Thank you, Linc interrupted sarcastically.
toward hiding the natural beauty that is coming to Beth as she grows older, Holly
finished. His expression became even harder. She looked fine the way she was, he said
coldly. To you, obviously. Beth wanted a different look. She isnt old enough to know whats
good for her. And beauty cant be good? Holly asked softly. Is that what youre saying?
Lincs mouth flattened into a line that was as thin and unyielding as a steel blade.

Cant you see that even though the outside of Beth changes, the inside is still worthy of
love? Holly asked quietly.

Silence was his only answer.

My God, Linc, Holly said, appalled. You raised Beth. Shes like your own daughter!

She is also her mothers daughter, he said savagely, and her mother was a worthless slut.

I hate you! cried Beth.

She leaped up and ran out the door, tears streaming down her face.

Saying nothing, Linc and Holly listened to Beth race down the hallway to her bedroom. A
door slammed shut. Hard.

With shaking hands, Holly packed up the case containing her cosmetics.

Do you really think Beth is a slut? she asked, her voice vibrant with rage.

Of course not!

Then when you both cool off, I suggest you tell her that.

Holly snapped the makeup case shut. Then she stood and confronted Linc, holding the case
protectively against her body. Her face was drawn into lines as unyielding as his.

And what about me? she asked.

What do you mean?

When I get out of my childish clothes and hairstyles, when I put something more than soap
on my face, will I become magically degraded in your eyes?

Holly

Will a stylish dress, she continued relentlessly, and a few strokes of an eyebrow pencil
turn me into a worthless, lying, cheating slut?

Holly

Will it? she asked, her voice rising.

Dont be ridiculous.

Beauty is as beauty does, right?

Always, Linc said.

Except, Holly said, when beauty interferes with your prejudices. Then no matter what
beauty does, beauty is a beast.

I thought we had a truce, he said coldly.

Ill gamble my own future on a truce, Holly shot back, but Im damned if Ill gamble Beths!

What is that supposed to mean?

The way youre hounding Beth, youll push her into tight clothes and back seats before the
year is out.

Thats crap!

Its the truth, Holly cut in. Beth is becoming a woman.

Jesus, do you think I havent noticed?

Then stop trying to turn back the clock.

Shes only fifteen! Linc snarled.

Nearly sixteen. Just how old did you say I was when you first noticed me as something
other than a child? Fourteen?

That has nothing to do with Beth.

It has everything to do with her. Girls mature more quickly than boys. Beth wants to be as
beautiful as she can be for her young man.

I want her to be Beth, thats all, Linc said. Just Beth. Thats good enough for any man.

Were not talking about men, Holly said. Were talking about Beth. Her desire to catch Jacks
eye is as simple and natural as breathing. If you try to make Beth hold her breath, youll
get a backlash that could ruin her life.

Thats exactly what Im trying to avoid and you know it.

Yes. But youre going about it in the wrong way. Beth is a good, bright, loving, very
stubborn person. Show her how to be the kind of woman a man can trust with his love.

Im trying to, he said evenly.

By keeping her in pigtails?

By keeping her from turning out like her mother.

Havent you been listening?Beth is not like her mother.

Then why are you trying to make her look like she is? retorted Linc. Any man worth the
name can look past Beths outside.

Assuming that he sees Beth in the first place. What? How many good, kind,plain women have
you given a second look to? Holly asked sweetly. Besides

me, of course.

He said nothing. There was nothing he could say, and both of them knew it.

She laughed without humor.

Then theres Cyn, Holly said. She wears enough paint for a barn. Why is it all right for
her to be beautiful and all wrong for Beth or me?

Cyn can wear paint and tight clothes and rub all over men because shes a . . . toy. No
grown man will fall in love with a toy, no matter how perfectly its wrapped. So, Linc
said, smiling narrowly, why not enjoy the wrappings?

I see your point, Holly murmured. Having a plain wife would be so boring a man would need
to unwrap some fancy toys from time to time.

Thats not what I meant at all!

Linc crossed the room and put his hands on Hollys arms as though he was afraid that she,
too, would run away from him.

You arent plain, Holly.

I know that, she said calmly. But do you? Do you really believe that Im as beautifully
wrapped as Cyn?

You dont have to be, he said roughly. Wives have enough power over their husbands without
that.

Linc put his hand on her abdomen in a gesture that was both possessive and gentle.

What do you think it does to a man to know that someday his baby will grow inside his
woman? he asked.

Holly shivered and breathed his name.

What do you think it does to a man when a woman cares enough to risk her neck dragging him
out of a lightning storm? Linc asked. What do you think it does to a man when he goes to
sleep with her taste in his mouth and wakes up to her sleepy smile? My God, Holly. Next to
those things, beauty is just a cruel joke.

Physical beauty has nothing to do with those things, she said desperately. Beauty doesnt
make them happen and beauty doesnt prevent them from happening.

Youre wrong, he said flatly. I know a lot more about beautiful bitches than you do.

The wordsbeautiful andbitch dont mean the same thing!

Linc let go of Holly and strode to the dresser. He yanked open a drawer, pulled out a
framed photo, and walked back to her.

Here, he said, shoving the photo into her hands. My mother.

Holly looked down.

The woman in the photograph was extraordinary.

She had radiant skin pulled taut over bone structure that would give her face elegance
until the day she died. Her hair was thick, long, framing her perfect features in a
chestnut cascade. Her eyes were large, set well apart and jade green. Her mouth was wide,
invitingly curved, poised on the brink of a smile or a kiss.

Yet there was more than that. There was a quality to the womans appeal that was uniquely
female, hinting at the kind of sexuality that set mens imagination on fire.

She is . . . the most stunning woman Ive ever seen, Holly said finally.

Yeah. His mouth twisted bitterly. Mother had me five months after she and Dad were
married. At the time, he was a big agent in Hollywood. She was a model who wanted to be a
star.

I can see why. The camera loves her.

Lincs lips thinned into a grim smile.

There wasnt much call for pregnant starlets, he said, so its obvious I was an accident. I
was five weeks old when Dads father died and left the ranch to him.

Holly looked up at Linc. It was like seeing an intensely masculine version of the picture
in her hands. He had the same charisma, the same quality of drawing eyes no matter where
he was or what he was wearing.

Dad was happy to come here, Linc said. He hadnt liked being an agent, but he and
Grandfather had never gotten along.

And your mother?

She didnt want to come here. My earliest memories are of them yelling about Garner Valley
versus Hollywood.

Linc ran his hand through his dark hair, so like that of his mother, thick and chestnut
and lustrous. Even his eyes looked like hers now, green with leashed emotion.

By the time I was three, he said, Mother was back to modeling. At least, thats what she
called it. I suppose she even wore clothes from time to time. Dad didnt buy them, though.

Hollys eyelids flickered at the pain in Lincs voice.

Paying off inheritance taxes almost broke him, he said. He kept the ranch, but nothing
else. And he worked. My God, how he worked. Dawn to dark and then some.

It must have been hard for them, Holly said hesitantly. Not for her. Not that one. She
went to Palm Springs. There wasnt any money for baby-sitters so

shed take me along on her modeling assignments.

Holly forced herself to breathe. The scorn in his voice would have etched metal.

I dont know how old I was when I realized my mother wasnt modeling clothes in those motel
rooms, Linc said. After that, I spent a lot of hours locked in cars in motel parking lots.

Tears burned against Hollys eyes, but she said nothing. She sensed that if she interrupted
him now he would never speak about it again.

I was seven when she locked me in the last time, he said.

His eyes looked through Holly, focused on a past that was too painful to remember and too
savage to forget.

It was hot in the car, he said. God, it was hot. I waited and waited for her to come back.
I finally fell asleep. When I woke up, it was dark and cold and I was shivering.

Seven,Holly thought in horror.He was only seven, locked in a car in the desert. He could
have died. I waited, Linc said. No one came. I wanted to get out of that car, but I knew
my beautiful mother

would raise welts on me if I did.

Holly bit her lips against the words she wanted to speak and the fear welling up in her
soul as she realized just how deep his hatred of beauty went.

And how harshly learned it was.

Its hard to believe how scared a kid can get, Linc said, his voice neutral. By the time my
dad found me the next morning, I was a mess.

Holly wanted to stop Linc from speaking, because knowing what had happened to him wounded
her in ways she couldnt describe.

Tears welled up and fell silently down Hollys cheeks, but she made no move toward Linc.
She said nothing, did nothing. She simply listened with a grief that equalled his.

He had kept the words and the hatred inside for too many years, poisoning his own
possibilities for love because his father had married the wrong women.

Beautiful women.

I never saw my mother again, Linc said. Seems she ran off with one of her men. I dont even
know if shes still alive. Not that it matters. She never wanted me and I learned to live
without her.

He shrugged, but his eyes were still focused on the past.

Dad didnt learn much at all, Linc said bluntly. Three years later he married Jan. I dont
have a picture of Beths mother. I dont need one. Honey blond, slim yet fully female,
turquoise eyes, eighteen when they married. Beautiful? Hell yes, she was beautiful.

Holly forced herself to breathe through the pain clenching her heart. Linc spoke the word
beauty as though it inevitably meant cold, selfish, immoral.