Denial (Goblin's Kiss Series Book One) (11 page)

I was told at
ten, making Joshlin fourteen, that she was the princess and finding
her was a miracle. I didn
’
t know he
’
d hide her further away from
us and make plans to take her for his own one day when I told him
about her. I hate myself now for that day.

Having only
known this in recent years, I only hated my stand-in king even
more. He didn
’
t deserve to be king. But
dethroning him wasn
’
t an option either. A least not
if it means I have to be directly involved.

The deal I made
with the king still lingered in my mind, but when I pictured Emma
with him it was too painful to think about going back. The nasty
alternative of backing out of the deal didn't sound good either. I
was screwed either way with one exception--I want
her.

She
doesn
’
t know what happened to her savior, the elder. Joshlin
tortured the poor soul who hid this girl as a baby and even took
his wife into seclusion to get to him. The wife was okay, but he
wasn
’
t. He was almost driven mad with worry for his loved ones.
Now his son will do anything to take this king down because of the
past. I always made sure the son was on my side, not the
king
’
s. You never know when you might need
friends.

Now,
he
’
s
my best friend.

I know a little
of how he feels about torture. I can
’
t imagine this girl being out of
my sight. She asked me in class what I was doing here. I was out of
time, so I answered.

When she read
the words on the page I projected, she did the same, her heart
stopping for two beats this time. Holy heck! if she passes out
I
’
m
gonna get my chance at mouth to mouth. Maybe the kiss
doesn
’
t work if it
’
s not
reciprocated.

Then I plunged even more and wrote
out the short four line clue in rhyme. Kind of. I like writing, but
I never let anyone see. Too geeked out for most. But this
girl...she made me want to spit sonnets.

She shocked me
even more with the glowing eyes again. Did she want me that much? I
couldn
’
t help the smug feeling. Don
’
t get me wrong, I was into her
wanting me. But it was too much. I
’
d spent too many years with girls
hating my guts because of this cursed power unless I threw it out
there to draw them in. They flirted yes. But they never came near
me unless I persuaded them first. And I knew I
wasn
’
t ugly. I had it going on in the looks department. But the
cursed power was too much...for the rest.

Emma...was different.

Lunch was a
farce with pretty boy Rick watching her every move. He
wasn
’
t over her, he just couldn
’
t have her. I
’
d picked up around
school that he
’
d cheated on her and
that
’
s why she hated men. I could understand that. But that
wasn
’
t me. And it wasn
’
t just Rick. I could feel
Rick
’
s presence had, at some point, been surrounded by my kind.
Rick might be a jerk naturally, but he
’
d been influenced somewhere
in his life by us. And that would have only happened because he was
with Jem, Emma, at the time.

I had a hard
time justifying my own innocence though with women.
I
’
d
never hurt a girl the way that boy had hurt Emma. Not that
I
’
d
ever admit that to a single soul, but I was much worse than that in
too many other ways.

I was a killer.
Maybe they weren
’
t always human, but they were
living and breathing no more because of me oh
moi.

She
’
d hate me if she knew the real me. I could never tell her.
But what kind of love is that.

What the
friggin
’
heck? I just
admitted
the L word. What is wrong with me?

I followed her to work. It was
Thursday at the mall with few shoppers and the girl of my dreams.
Except I never had dreams.

Emma had a set
routine. I
’
d watched her for three days now.
Drive home, see the stalker neighbor who always showed up when she
was alone, and drive to work. In the store, she was almost OCD.
She
’
d start on the left of the store and work her way over.
She
’
d start with the left room to change clothes in and go from
there. She worked on the left side of the cart of clothes to put
back and move over from there. Always left. She was left-handed and
she tapped. I was proud of my discoveries. I knew something else
about her that most might not. I felt singled out. Only no one,
including the girl, knew I was there.

Loneliness was a bitter
enemy.

A familiar face came into view. It
was the shrimp who like to stop her in the hall all the time at
school. She had no idea he was watching...all the time.

Jay was his name. He was standing
outside the store watching her. Just like me.

Who
’
s the stalker now?

She left the
store when I wasn
’
t looking and there it was.
Caught.

“Are you spying on me, Ames Cahn?”
She marched up to me never dropping her eyes from my neck where her
eyes leveled out to. Her same finger dug into my chest and lowered.
I pressed in a little just to tighten the connection. Did she feel
that same buzz?

“And if I am?” I
put it out there. Her eyes drifted up to mine now. Something in the
way she put one hand on her hip seemed to heat me up.
I
’
d
seen girls. I was a friggin
’
guy for crying out loud. I knew
she was feisty, but as she leaned sideways on one leg and pointed
her index finger into my stomach for the second time, everything
just tightened up.

The others said
that when you find your mate, your true other half, something
changes. I was beginning to think they, the previous leaders of my
world, were telling the truth. I
’
d never cared one iota about a
girl or the way she carried herself in front of me.
I
’
d
never once let one tell me what to do like I was doing right now.
That little thought alone put a smirk on my amused face. She was
the enigma to my disastrous run life that I
’
d given up hope on and just
resumed as the nasty villain.

Perhaps there
was hope after all, curses of not. If I just ignored the lousy way
things look for the one girl a stupid letter said I
can
’
t have and somehow do...maybe it would all fix itself with
magic I didn
’
t have and she
did.

She took a step
closer. I felt the familiar emotions welling up inside of her
sending signals that were dangerously close to landing a kiss on
her right here in the middle of the mall. It was the strangest
feeling for me. I was caught between desire and need unlike any
I
’
ve
ever had before. For the first time, I didn
’
t want to just have my way
with a girl. I wanted more.

She must have
felt my own heated craving because her blue eyes started to dance
around and I knew what was coming. I
’
d seen it twice before now. If I
had any doubt she felt the same, I had proof in front of me
now.

She took one big step back from me
sending my own heart into fits. I felt her pull away from me,
locking me out. Did she know she was even doing it?

“Ames, you are
the most stubborn guy I
’
ve ever met.”

“So I get to be put in that
category?” I looked around for the Jay kid. If he was watching, he
was getting an eyeful.

“What category is that?” she
mused.

“The guy
category. Despite my downfall for being what I am, I can contend
with those other guys?” I hoped my stupidity
wasn
’
t showing too much if she turned me down.

“I
’
m not even sure I know what you mean since I am not
completely familiar with
what you
are
. If by the fact that you are indeed
like other guys then you
’
re a lying cheating jerk like the
rest of them. So putting you in that category presents a negative
tone in my book. If that
’
s the way you want it, state your
business and make it fast. I have things to do.”

Another speech
with a directive. They were becoming a favorite pastime for me. I
could get her riled up and enjoy it more if she
’
d just see it my way
and realize she should think I am the best thing since sliced
bread. But of course, she
’
d just told me what she thinks of
me if I put myself to equal terms with the others guys before me.
Luckily, I
’
m not.

“Well, lucky for
you, I
’
m not an ordinary guy.” I assumed she would take my sarcasm
and run with. I pushed both hands in my pockets in
wait.

“Well, lucky for
you I
’
m not your ordinary girl. I can smell a
con
man anywhere and your name fits
you like a glove. Now get on with why you’re here or leave.” I
think she was proud of herself for accenting my name synonymous
with the word
con
.

Okay. So she
wasn
’
t going to make this easy. If I knew a dramatic check of my
watch to show how much little time I had would get my point across
to the feisty beauty in front of me, I would. She was getting
impatient and hot as fire cracker. I decided to go for blunt. Well,
more blunt than showing up in her school, sliding her cryptic
notes, and invading her circle of friends.

“I was sent here
to find you. I am-I serve under someone who sees to you also.
You
’
ve been hidden for eighteen years in plain sight and the time
has come for you to know what and who you are.”

She
didn
’
t flinch, reminding me what else I liked about her. She
didn
’
t hold back all the time. Maybe it wasn
’
t always at the right
time in my opinion, but her resilient resolve to know the truth was
a definite plus to her intelligence.

“And that is?”

Worried she
wouldn
’
t believe me and would just walk off, I pulled out the big
guns. “Can I show you?” It was a huge chance and not a very smart
decision on her part as a girl alone in a busy mall with a
seemingly strange guy making her late to return to
work.

She looked at the escalator that
would take her back down to the store. She looked at the area
around us where everyone was eating and paying us not the least bit
attention. She looked back at me.

“What do you have in mind?” She
had her decision, but studied me pensively.

And I had mine.

Now
we
’
re getting somewhere. I clapped my hands together and said in
a deeper than meant to be voice, “Follow me.”

Ames conned me
into leaving work and telling them I
’
d thrown up in the bathroom. I
don
’
t think they believed me.

I told Ames I would be right back
because I forgot something. I chanted in my head for Tonya to just
drop in from thin air. Yeah, not going to happen. I really just
wanted to escape and ponder the right “impractical” decision to
make here. But by the time I faked my invisible item out from under
the counter to play the part, I decided I wanted to know more. I
caught him watching me from fifteen feet outside the door causing
me to lose my balance.

Something fell
out making a thud noise on the tiled floor and bounced once telling
me it was a book or notebook. Notebook. The one Ames wrote in.
I
’
d
stashed it here and left it. How careless of me. Frantically, I
snatched it up and turned to where the words had disappeared
earlier wanting to create my own magical will to see them
again.