Den of Sorrows (26 page)

"There is no light in me," she said suddenly. Her voice was soft and her lips had barely moved.

"What?"

"You think you need my light. I don’t know what that means but I do know that there is no light in me. I've lived in the dark for too long."

Her words twisted his heart. Her childhood had been ripped from her, her innocence taken away in an instant. He hadn't been there to protect her.

"It wasn't your job to protect me," she said. A frown creased her brow.

Drake shook his head. "You're wrong. You've always been mine to protect and you always will be."

"You can't be more than five or six years older than me. So what could you have done at the age of thirteen? How could you have stopped a vampire?" she challenged. He saw the flash of strength and defiance that had probably kept her alive all these years.

"I am much, much older than I look," Drake admitted.

He guessed that she must be deciding to ignore his comment because she moved right on to something else without addressing it. "You have an accent," she pointed out. "Where are you from?"

"I'm originally from Romania. My family joined the Serbia pack not long after I was born. So I've lived in Serbia most of my life."

"Do you remember where you are from?" Drake asked, trying to tread carefully, yet hoping against hope that she would keep talking.

"I'm from Phoenix, Arizona. I don’t know where I've been for the past eleven years. I haven't been above ground since they took me."

Drake’s jaw clenched. "I found you in Phoenix, so you’ve probably been there the whole time."

"I don't know if my family is still there," she admitted. "Sincaro would never tell me if he did anything to them. He would just tell me that I didn't need to worry about them."

"I'm sorry, Bethany." Drake didn't know what else to say.

"It's not your fault."

Tears pooled in her eyes as she stared at him. Her gaze was unwavering and he admired her that she held her chin high after all she'd been through.

"My life will never be normal, will it?" Bethany asked him.

"I'm the wrong person to ask, love. I don’t know what normal is. I'm a werewolf, remember?"

A small smile touched her lips. "A werewolf. I don't even know what to say to that. I mean, I know it's true, obviously. But that doesn't make it any less strange." She seemed to be gathering her nerve before she spoke again. "Why did that woman lock you in there?"

"My wolf is a little unpredictable right now. It's for my own safety as well as others." Her eyes widened and he hurried to add. "But not you. You never have to fear me. My wolf could never hurt you. You're my mate."

Bethany's breath caught and her hand slowly lifted until it was lying over the place on her neck where he'd bitten her. His wolf growled and Drake had to snap his mouth shut. His skin felt hot as she looked at him. Her eyes were wary, but not fearful. There was no accusation there either, which surprised him.

"I'm sorry about the—" He pointed to the bite. "I wasn't in control and my wolf acted on instinct. I wasn't trying to hurt or scare you."

"Mates," Bethany tried out the word. Her eyes seemed to roam over him, almost as if she was realizing for the first time, other than when he'd put on the pants, that he was man—a man not wearing a shirt to be precise. Her gaze was practically a caress as she took in all of the exposed skin. Drake saw something flash in her eyes, something possessive, and he knew it was her own wolf, dormant though she may be. And by the look in Bethany's eyes, her wolf wanted its mate.

"What are those markings on your neck?" she asked him as she shifted to see if there were anymore.

"All of our kind have markings. They are a message to other wolves. The location of the markings let others know the level of our dominance and where we fall in the pack hierarchy. The more elaborate the markings, the more dominant the wolf. When we find our mate, our markings change. They usually move up our bodies to be visible on the neck. The ones on my neck are new."

"How come you only have them on your neck?"

B
ethany saw a flash of pain in Drake’s eyes but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. She was trying very hard not to think too much about the fact that she was talking to a werewolf—a very, very attractive, male werewolf.

When her eyes had fluttered open, she'd been taken aback by his rugged handsomeness. He was tall, definitely over six feet in height. He had dark, wavy, unruly hair that was long enough that it would brush his collar if he had been wearing a shirt. His face was chiseled and he looked as though he'd gone a day or so without shaving. His nose held a slight bump in the center where it had probably been broken. But rather than distracting from his looks, it only added character to his face. His body was thick and muscular. Where most of the vampires she'd seen were sleek and trim, Drake was solid, but had not an ounce of fat on him. She pushed away the glimpse of his body that she'd seen when he'd stood up. Her mind was screaming at her to look away but her curiosity and shock wouldn't allow her to.

She knew nothing of the opposite sex. Would anyone blame her for being curious? Drake didn't seem bothered by her scrutiny so she continued to look. If he didn't like it, he'd just have to tell her.

"Would you like me to stand and turn in a circle?" he asked her and her eyes flew up to his. His lips were turned up slightly and humor danced in his silver eyes.

"Yes, please," she answered. If he was going to offer then she'd accept.

His brow rose. He'd obviously expected her to be embarrassed or shy. But what did she have to be embarrassed about? She'd been snacked on for eleven years of her life. She'd been told over and over that no one would ever want her. Once Drake realized the depth to which Sincaro had dragged her into his hell, how tainted she was, he wouldn't want her.

Drake stood slowly, never taking his eyes off of her. It was strangely… well, she didn't know what the word was that would describe what she was feeling.

"Intimate," Drake practically whispered. "The feeling is intimacy."

Her head tilted slightly. "Intimacy?"

He nodded. "It's a closeness, something shared between people who are familiar."

"But we don't know each other."

"We are true mates. Our souls recognize one another."

Bethany didn't understand what he was saying but she had to agree that she did feel as though she recognized him, though she'd never seen him in her life.

Drake held his arms loosely by his sides as he began to turn. Just as his back was to her, she saw something that she hadn't seen when he'd been putting on the pants. "Wait," she said quickly as she stood and moved closer.

His back was covered in scars. They were faint, but they were everywhere. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt anger swell inside of her. Who had hurt him?

"It was a long time ago," he said quietly as he turned to face her. Drake stepped closer to the bars and, like a magnet drawn to each other, Bethany took another step closer toward him. Her head was tilted back so she could look up at him. He was even bigger close up.

"Who did that? Why did they do it?"

Drake reached out slowly, pausing once. She guessed that he was waiting to see if she'd back away. She’d known nothing but the violent touch of the vampires for so long. She’d recoiled from their touches—the way they’d handled her, like a piece of tough steak to be beaten, tenderized, and then consumed. But now she didn’t recoil. She realized that she wanted to be touched, gently, but not just by anyone. Bethany wanted to be touched by Drake—only Drake.

"My old Alpha was a cruel person. He demanded a level of obedience that was impossible to meet. So he punished us." His fingers ran slowly through several strands of her long hair.

She stepped closer again and she was nearly pressed against the bars. His hand moved from her hair to her face, and Bethany held her breath as he ran the pads of his fingers down her cheek, and further down her neck. He traced the tender flesh where his bite now appeared and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin.

Bethany tried to keep her eyes open but the warmth from his hand was seeping into her, making her want to get closer. "Why do I feel like this?" she asked and was surprised at the breathy quality of her voice.

"Because you're mine and I am yours. Touch between mates is potent and powerful."

"So I wouldn't feel this way with another man?" Her eyes snapped open when she heard the deep growl.

Bethany looked up and saw that his eyes were glowing again.

Drake took several deep breaths before answering. "No. There is no other male for you. Just as there is no other female for me."

"I, um," Bethany couldn't seem to get any words out.

Drake shook his head at her. "No decisions have to be made right now. We have time. All I ask is that you give us a chance. Give me a chance."

She could see the fear of rejection in his eyes, and it made her want to reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere. She didn't want him to be hurt or worried. It was completely irrational to feel that way for a stranger. "Okay," she finally answered. She couldn't think of a reason not to give him a chance. Okay, maybe him being a werewolf was a good reason, but she didn't feel threatened by him. She actually felt safer with him than she ever had in her life.

"Thank you," he said and dropped his hand from her neck. 

Without thinking about what she was doing, Bethany reached through the bars and grabbed his hand. Her fingers laced through his and as soon as their skin made contact again, she felt a sense of rightness. "Is this okay?" she motioned to their hands.

"You can touch me whenever, wherever, however, and as often as you like."

Bethany felt the blush that moved up her neck to her face.

Not knowing, again, what to say, she moved on to the other thing, besides Drake, that was heavy on her heart. "What about my family?"

"What about them?" he asked.

"Can I see them?" Bethany wasn't even sure if she wanted to see them, at least not right away. She had some serious healing to do before she opened old wounds.

"We can go to them when you are ready. I will be with you if you'd like."

His voice was so gentle, so caring, that it was hard to reconcile that he was the same man who growled and snarled and turned into a huge wolf.

"You will go with me?"

"If you would allow it, I would never leave your side."

His honesty was intense, but she was glad he wasn't attempting to tiptoe around her. She'd agreed to give him a chance. And though right then, she didn't really understand what all that entailed, it had to be better than the life she'd been living. Though she seemed calm on the outside, she was close to her breaking point. She was so tired—so tired of being afraid—of wondering if she would die today. She was tired of being unsure about her future. And most of all, she was tired of having to be strong all on her own, alone. But while she didn't want to be alone, she also didn't want someone telling her what to do, not anymore. She wanted to make her own decisions. She wanted to finally feel in control of her life.

D
rake wanted the bars out of the way. He wanted to take Bethany in his arms and hold her, protect her, and help her begin to heal. He could feel the turmoil coming off of her in turbulent waves. She was confused, frustrated, and unsure. He was surprised that he didn't feel any fear coming from her, but he was a little worried that she might be in shock and that, perhaps, the fear would hit later. He wanted to comfort her, needed to make her understand that all of her fears were for naught.

"Bethany." Drake’s voice shook with the emotions he was trying to desperately keep under control, but his wolf was not making it easy. "Please believe me when I tell you I have no desire to control you or make decisions for you. I won't lie. I do want to take care of you. My instincts scream at me to make sure you are okay. If you have a need, I long to meet it. My wolf and I want to protect you, provide for you, and cherish you—never oppress you." He waited to see if she would respond. She stared straight at him, never dropping her eyes. He could tell she was weighing the truth of his words. Drake wanted her to trust him, but he could hear all of the lies she'd been fed.

The vampires had played with her mind for years. They'd toyed with her, telling her lies about the Canis lupus, because they'd known she was a dormant, and of course they wouldn't want her to trust her own race.

"Have you ever had a mate before?" she asked him and he was surprised by the question.

"No, I've never had a mate and will never have another. Canis lupus are created with one true mate in their lives."

"What about girlfriends?" Bethany's hand fidgeted in his.

Drake shook his head. "I'm about to blow your mind," he said with a small grin as her eyes widened. "I've never had a girlfriend. I've never kissed a girl, and I've never held hands with a girl. —until now." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Bethany's mouth had dropped open at his declaration, making him want to laugh but he held it in. Drake wasn't surprised that she was shocked. He, after all, was a century old. Human males usually had had multiple girlfriends before they ever reach adulthood.