Demon Hunters (34 page)

“Impressive, isn’t it?” Bertram said.

“Yes. Very. Where ever did you find
something like that?”

“Custom made. Everything here at Heavenly
Meadows is custom made.”

“Not everything.”

“Of course. The residents here expect
nothing less than the absolute best and we proudly supply that to
them.”

“Well, I’ll believe it when I see it.” I
said.

“Prepare to believe.” Bertram stopped the
car and pressed a button on his console. The gate before us slowly
began to open and light poured down over us. The silvery echo I had
been hearing soon became a booming roar in my ears.

“Ahh!” I winced as I grabbed my ears. It was
like daggers pushing into my ear canals.

“All right back there?”

“I’m fine. Light just got in my eyes.” Ivar
slowly turned to me.

“Are you all right?”

“Fine.”

We drove through the gate and after passing
through the light, our eyes focused and we found ourselves on a
lovely tree lined street. It was like something out of a brochure.
Blue sky above us and green lawns on either side. Husbands lazily
mowing their lawns as devoted wives came out with lemonade.
Children playing quietly with each other and birds flying overhead,
whistling a strange melodic symphony. A scene so idyllic, I believe
Norman Rockwell would have committed suicide upon seeing it
himself.

I watched intently as we drove down the
street, but suddenly I felt a twinge in my gut. I thought nothing
of it for a moment and banished it away. It quickly came back with
a vengeance. I buckled under the pain.

“Jake!”

“Is there a problem?” Bertram asked, peering
at us from the rear view mirror.

“No,” I said through a wave of pain. “I’m
fine.”

“The demon?” Ivar asked under his
breath.

“Oh, yeah.” Another torrent of pain ripped
through my body. It was like scalding hot, razor tipped talons were
digging through my guts and scraping at my skin from the inside. I
could at least affirm we were in Heaven. Ivar quickly wrapped his
arm around me and squeezed me tightly. The pain began to subside. I
looked up at him curiously.

“Another old trick I learned. I can give you
my strength to suppress for now, but it won’t last.”

“I know. I can feel it resisting.”

“The deeper we go, the stronger it’s going
to get.”

“I can handle it.” Ivar helped hold the
demon in check, but Bertram kept pestering him for information
about his rich relatives, breaking his concentration and allowing
the demon to strike at me. Bertram kept needling Ivar for details
about his family fortune and his vast trust fund. Ivar finally
sloughed off Bertram’s questions by telling him about some family
tragedy that he was unable to deal with yet. That seemed to do the
trick and we enjoyed a nice quiet ride from that point on.

We turned at a corner and it was like the
whole world opened in front of us. We saw rolling hills spreading
before us complete with forests and lakes. The homes appeared to be
getting more elaborate as we progressed. We drove by one house that
looked like a mansion with large banners bearing Swastikas on them.
As we passed by, I saw a small man with dark hair and a tiny
moustache over his lip step out with his wife hanging on his arm.
It was Hitler. Not a psycho who liked dressing up like him or an
unfortunate soul who happened share a striking similarity. It was
the genuine article. It was Adolf Hitler and he was dressed in full
military uniform. He looked out on his backyard as though he were
considering his own empire.

A few doors down, we came by a large castle.
At first I thought it was just meant to look like a castle, but as
we got closer, I could see the stones that it was made of were real
and so was the moat and drawbridge. Bloody heads on pikes were
lined across the front wall and I could hear screams coming from
inside.

“A colorful batch of neighbors, no?” Bertram
said jovially. The demon roiled in my stomach, stabbing and biting
in frustration.

“First Hitler, now this? What the Hell is
going on here?”

We came around another corner and the car
came to a slow stop. We climbed out quickly and I stepped aside and
held my stomach as tightly as I could. The demon was going berserk
in my body. I could feel it pulling and struggling inside,
screaming in a language I had never heard before.

“Now, as much as I would love to show you
two around myself, I am now going to hand you over to my two
partners.” Bertram said as he led us from the car and toward a
humble looking office that sat on a rather plain lot. Nothing
unusual. It looked like a typical tract home with a few green
shrubs and a small lawn in front.

“Partners?” I forced myself upright.

“Yes, I’d love to take credit for all of
this, but you must know that a paradise such as this is the product
of good teamwork. My partners are much better suited to show you
the full benefits of living here in Heavenly Meadows.” Bertram said
as he held the door to the office open for us.

We walked in and my pain quickly vanished. I
almost thought for a moment a sensation of pleasure was beginning
to overtake me. As though the demon was happy to be there. As we
walked in, Ivar and I had to stop a moment and take in the decor.
The exterior completely betrayed what we found on the inside. The
floor was covered in pure ivory tile and the ceiling reached high
above us, with sunlight pouring in. Fresh flowers, the likes of
which I had never seen, clung to elaborately decorated columns
lining the walls. The flowers on the vines were large bulbs colored
red and black with orange and purple leaves sprouting underneath
them. Their sweet perfume was thick in the air as Bertram led us
deeper within. Music began to play. Light, instrumental tones
accented the calm air. Bertram took us to a small alcove off the
main chamber where there was a plump sofa sitting behind a table
with a gourmet buffet laid out.

“Please have a seat here for a moment.”
Bertram said as he hurried away through a door on the other side of
the room.

“What is this?”

“It’s some kind of pocket reality,” Ivar
explained. “It doesn’t seem to be in Heaven, but outside of it. The
demon isn’t bothering you anymore is it?”

“No. It’s quieted down a bit, but this? This
isn’t possible! It’s a palace in here.”

“It’s something like a tesseract, similar to
Heaven.”

“I think it’s also definite proof of a
demonic influence.” I said. Suddenly we heard a door open and we
turned to see Bertram walking toward us followed by two other
people. One was a pretty girl in a sharp business suit. Her hair
was short and she put out a very professional demeanor as she
strode toward us with a small envelope tucked under her arm. Next
to her was a square jawed man in an equally impressive suit. His
hair was also cut short and sharp and a friendly smile adorned his
face.

“Mr. Corba, this is Melissa and Jefferson.
Mel, Jeff, this is Jake Corba and his partner, Ivar. They are
interested in purchasing their dream home here.” Bertram said
sweetly. Melissa and Jeff looked at us and beamed with friendly
warmth.

“So good to meet you, Mr. Corba,” Melissa
said as she took my hand. The moment she touched me, I could feel
the demon react. There was no pain. It was actually a warm,
pleasant sensation. It knew it was near one of its own kind. As I
took Jeff’s hand, I felt the same way. I studied their features as
best I could without arousing attention, but they looked perfectly
human to me. Melissa then looked over to Ivar quickly and took his
hand. “And you as well Mr...” Melissa began but stopped, as we
hadn’t referred to Ivar’s last name.

“Corba. I decided to take his name.”

“Oh. How progressive. I like it.” Melissa
said.

“Could we just take the tour?”

“Well, someone’s an eager beaver!” Jeff
said. “Fine. Let’s get started.”

We walked out and the demon’s fits returned.
I fought the pain back as best I could and followed closely behind
Ivar. I think my pain was rather obvious. Ivar quickly took my hand
and squeezed it. The pain quickly calmed, but was still there.

“Now, we want to walk you through some of
the more basic floor plans, but remember, you can change or alter
anything at any time.” Jeff said as he corralled us down the
street. We turned the corner and saw a line of model homes on
either side of us. The first home had a sign that read Plan One and
the one on the right had a sign that said Plan Three Hundred and
Seventeen. We walked toward the first one, which looked rather
plain and unremarkable. The economy model, I suspected.

“Now, what Melissa and I would first like to
establish is that we know the prices for these homes may seem
outlandish, but we are selling more than just a few walls, a floor
and a ceiling. We are offering you so much more. Living here in
Heavenly Meadows is more a lifestyle than anything else. You just
don’t unload your belongings and never see your neighbors for years
on end. We are building a community here. We reach out to one
another. We believe your house isn’t your home. Your community is.
We don’t want you to live here. We want you to thrive here. Now,
with that said, let’s begin. Our first home here is our basic
model. From this, you can build anything from a magnificent mansion
to a humble cottage. Let me show you the bonus room.” Jeff said as
he opened the door and ushered us in.

It seemed like an eternity as Melissa and
Jeff walked us through each model home, pointing out all the
amenities along the way. They talked about daily trash collection,
free gardening services and an annual block party held at the end
of every summer. As we started back toward Bertram’s car, I noticed
it looked to be the same time as when we arrived.

“I hope we were able to answer any questions
you had in your minds.” Melissa said and flashed us an ivory
smile.

“You did. Really,” I felt the demon
beginning to kick at my kidneys. “We just need to sit down and
think about all of this.”

“Of course. Think all you want,” Melissa
then handed me a card. “Just call us when you’ve made your
choice.”

“We will.” Ivar and I piled back into the
car quickly and Bertram drove around back the way we came. As the
car passed out of the gates, my whole body went limp and a wave of
relief washed over me. It was as though every muscle in my body
tensed at once and was finally relaxed simultaneously. We drove up
the road a bit and finally stopped. I looked over and saw Gwen
standing by her car.

“Ah, right on time.” Bertram said as he got
out of the car. Ivar pushed the door open and slid out. I followed
behind him, but as I stood, I felt even more relief as I stretched
out my legs. It was nearly orgasmic how good it felt. I danced over
to Ivar who was talking with Bertram.

“Thank you so much for the tour.” Ivar said
as I ran into him.

“Easy, babe. I’m sorry. I guess he’s a
little more excited about this than I realized.”

“Who wouldn’t be? This is one of the most
exclusive housing developments in the state. If you can get in, I
suggest you do it.”

“We’ll keep that in mind. Honey? I think
it’s time to go home.” Ivar said to me as he clasped me in his
arms.

“Sure.” I was feeling so good, I could
barely think straight.

“We’ll be in touch.” Ivar said as he dragged
me over to Gwen.

“How’d it go?” She asked as we approached
her.

“We found out what we needed to find out.”
Gwen looked at me and I could see the concern in her eyes.

“What happened to him?”

“The demon didn’t like being in Heaven.” I
leaned against the car, reveling in the bliss of not being torn to
shreds from the inside. Gwen and Ivar quickly helped me stretch out
in the backseat as they took to the front. I felt the light jostle
of the car as it started up and the easy movement as it pulled
forward and turned back toward the highway.

“It’s Heaven. We know that much.”

“Wait!” I said as I bolted up. “I thought
Vyra and Pyre would be ugly as sin. They looked great in
there.”

“Melissa and Jeff may not be demons.”

“No, they’re demons. When I shook her hand,
my demon really mellowed. Like it was among its own kind or
something. If they aren’t Vyra and Pyre, they’re some other two
demons.”

“You can’t go accusing people of being
demons.” Gwen added.

“We won’t. We’ll confirm,” I slurred. “But
first.” I said but trailed off as I began to lose
consciousness.

He Keeps The Horns

When I saw Aldo again, I told him what we
found and he agreed with our theories. It seemed like almost too
good a scam to me. Real estate baron sells off plots of land to the
elite who, for whatever reasons, would never find their way to
Heaven otherwise. The best part seemed to me that not only could
Bertram sell to the living, but with Pyre and Vyra helping, he had
access to the dead as well. The great monsters of history that had
been denied eternal peace in paradise could now obtain it simply by
buying it. Bertram could charge beyond top dollar and get it and he
would never run out of property to sell. He probably had it put
into his will that his ascendants would continue selling homes in
Heaven. Guys like him can never get enough.

After a good long talk about the situation,
Aldo was kind enough to give me two pictures of Pyre and Vyra from
some secret file that I wasn’t supposed to know anything about. He
told me some crackpot photographer had taken them a couple decades
ago. He was out to get some shots of Bigfoot, but instead he
captured two bloodthirsty demons. They looked nothing like the two
clean-cut go-getters who showed Ivar and I around the model homes.
I had to be sure of who and what I was dealing with, and to figure
that out, there was only one man I could talk to. What I was
thinking required a bit of espionage on Gwen’s part, though. I
asked her to snoop around Bertram’s files and bring back anything
that seemed off. I didn’t have to wait long until she came up with
a lot of paperwork that amounted to nothing more than a lengthy
receipt for extensive plastic surgery.