Authors: Penelope Fletcher
Gods, could I have not managed anything
better? I knew what she’d think I’d been doing.
“I knew it, a secret rendezvous. Tell me. Is
it Jono? He’s an ass, but I won’t mind if you like him. Honest. Zoe
has her she-devil eyes on him but he’s had a big thing for you for
months.”
I ignored the comment, held down a sigh. “You
won’t understand.”
“What’s not to understand? I don’t mind who
you fool with.” She slid a considering look my way. “That is, as
long as it’s not Ro.”
I rubbed at my scratchy eyes and pushed some
hair out of my face. Taking a second to think on it, I decided it’d
cause no harm to tell a little more of what happened. “This
morning, I went for a run and I–” I frowned and searched for words
that wouldn’t make her freak out. Alex had a penchant for the
melodramatic. “This… boy,” I said and flushed when I thought of
Breandan. “He bumped into me. Or rather I bumped into him since he
seemed to expect me. It was the weirdest feeling, like I was meant
to be with him.”
“Was he familiar? Someone you’d met in the
upper dwells, perhaps.” She sounded suspicious.
I couldn’t help but smile at comparing the
magnificent mental image of Breandan, next to one of the skinny,
pot-hole-faced pubescent boys the dwells produced in an alarming
quantity considering the human race was near extinction.
“No. He was not from the slums either before
you ask. His name’s Breandan.”
“Hold up.” She pinched the bridge of her nose
then rubbed at the runes on her cheek. This told me she was
agitated and I braced myself for a lecture. “This boy you met was
Outside, as in beyond the Wall?”
Fiddling with the skin peeking through a
slash in my jeans, I nodded. “I know what you’re thinking but it’s
fine. Do
not
tell anybody. I’m dealing with it.”
Her eyes widened and I realized my mistake.
“You know what he is don’t you? What kind of demon he is.” I said
nothing. To open my mouth at such a point would be a bad thing. I’d
already told her much more than I had meant to. But it was nice to
tell someone, who would not think I was clinically insane, and
release some pressure.
“You know I won’t tell anybody, but you need
to never go out there again.”
She looked worried, but I couldn’t help but
add, “He touched me, held my hand and I’d
wanted
him
to.”
It would have sounded stupid to the average
person, and if it had been anyone but Alex, I would have kept my
mouth shut.
As little as I’d told her, Alex’s mouth
popped open. “No lie, touching? You willingly placed your hand in
another? Like actual skin contact.”
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t tell her
what really happened with the fairy-boy. It was weird, admittedly
not weirder than the vampire slumbering in my wardrobe, but still
pretty messed up. Even if I tried to tell her the boy was a fairy
she’d take me to get my head checked. If I said the word ‘vampire’
she’d probably hit the klaxon as a reflex.
“Only you could make a demon friend,” she
said, and to my amazement sounded jealous.
I placed a finger on my lips and shot her a
look. Did she want the whole world to know?
“Keep it down, I was safe.” She peered at me,
seeking the truth and I composed my face to blank. It wasn’t a lie
per se. I just didn’t divulge all details that no doubt would
horrify her. “I guess you could call him a friend,” I said slowly.
“I don’t think he’d ever hurt me in fact he helped me out of a
pretty tight jam. I only told you so much because it was odd, and
you would’ve bugged me until I told you something semi
believable.”
I shrugged to give the impression of
nonchalance.
She was not convinced, and her pinched face
told me so. “You gonna get yourself dead. I told you to forget
about that damn hole. I should’ve made you tell a Cleric.”
My voice was flat when I replied, “Whoever he
was, he’s long gone.”
Drumming her nails on the table she shrugged.
“Say-so. Let’s move.”
She went to grab my hand but I flinched.
Rolling her eyes, she grabbed my blazer lapel instead and dragged
me behind her.
Half way down the hall the morning bell rung
and the corridor filled with bodies.
I gripped the strap of my bag tightly. I knew
I had a class, I’d spent all morning trying to get back in time for
it, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember what. “What we
dealing with first period?”
“Demon Theory,” Alex shot over her
shoulder.
A jaw-cracker of a yawn took me by surprise,
and I shook off a little sleepiness. Damn straight I was on my way
to class even after my pre dawn drama. I could not skip class; the
punishment was not worth it. I was pretty much good at everything I
tried and took eight classes instead of the six most Disciples
preferred; Martial Arts, Explosives, Subterfuge, Entomology, Demon
Theory, Equestrianism and Alchemy. I was tired, and could feel a
grump coming on, but I vowed to keep it together a few more hours
for the sake of maintaining. My plan was to get through the day
with my head down, deal with the dead thing in my closet then sleep
and wake up to everything being back to normal. Rather, as normal
as they were before.
Alex caught my yawn. “That must have been
some run.”
I nodded faintly. Someone pushed past and
bashed my shoulder. I winced. I got another shoulder bash after two
more steps and became freaky alert. I hated walking the halls
during period changes. Usually I’d be early or late to class and
avoid the masses, but Alex liked to be on time.
I hung my head and lowered my voice. “The
next person to touch me is going to be in a world of pain.”
She sent me a consolatory look then shrugged.
There wasn’t much of anything you could say to make someone like me
feel better.
I’d always had problems with getting close to
other people. Physical contact made my skin crawl. I could only
bear to be a more than a foot close for a few seconds before some
peculiar reflex took over, and this horrible hissing noise started
to break from my throat. It was embarrassing and practically a
disability. As I child my blood had been tested a gazillion times
because the Sect suspected I had demon blood, but the tests always
came back negative for shifter or witch genes. The month people
thought I was a witch was bad, and if I’m honest the worst of my
life. Freaky and unexplainable stuff started happening when I was
nearby. Naturally, the solution thought up by the community was to
blame the weird kid. Having no family to protect me I had been
mocked, beaten to a pulp and ridiculed. People had spat at me and
even thrown stones. The matrons at the orphanage were afraid of me
and did nothing; they probably hoped someone would kick me in the
head too hard and take me off their hands. But I’d always been
resilient and a quick healer. Bearing the burden of being hated and
feared had set me apart as strong, and the Sect enrolled me in the
Cleric training programme less than a season later.
As a Disciple my life was better, still
difficult but better. I even had friend now.
Walking into the class, ignoring the other
Disciples already in the room, I sat down and rested my cheek on my
palm as Alex wandered off to mingle.
Mind drifting, a memory of silver eyes had my
heart picking up speed and turned my breathing shallow. Feeling the
heat in my cheeks, a glance around showed everyone was too wrapped
in their own world to notice my heaving chest. Not that people paid
me much mind. Why was I getting all hot and heavy over a fairy-boy
I would never see again? He said he was going to come for me, and I
had used this to help me get through my encounter with the vampire,
but there was no way he would risk coming onto the Temple grounds.
That would be stupid, and Breandan seemed anything but stupid,
right?
Bored of waiting for the lesson to start, I
stood to stretch, and the satisfying pangs of my muscles loosening
helped chase away some of the dull drum. Wandering from my desk, I
twisted my fingers together and paced the room. There had to be
something to inspire a break of remembering those cold and mad
eyes. Why was he mad? He was definitely upset about having to help
me back to the Temple, but
why
?
There was no way in hell I was ever stepping
another toe past the Wall ever again, so I had to stop tormenting
myself with the questions eating away at my composure. Questions
like who was he? Who were the ‘we’ he kept referring to and how did
he know I was a fairy? Why was I given up at birth? Were my parents
still alive?
I thought I would go mad. If only I could see
him one more time, talk to him again, I might actually learn
something instead of being left confused and uneasy.
Glancing out the window I did a double take.
Calm and still, a figure stood on the grass outside. Breandan
stared at me. His eyes followed my steps as the wind and rain
lashed his body. He’d found me, and he did
not
look happy.
What could I have possibly done to make him more upset? Lifting a
hand he held it out, and crooked a finger. Pulled as if tethered, I
took a step forward then another. His eyes widened, face became
troubled. He beckoned to me again but waved his whole hand. My pace
quickened into a skip in my hurry to reach him. I fully intended on
smashing through the wall and glass.
Colliding head first into a chest, I
staggered back. “Excuse me,” I mumbled and cringed all over.
Body contact was difficult for me when I was
focused and prepared. Unexpected, it was like experiencing a full
body hiccup.
Forced to spare a glance at the boy I bumped,
I felt a thrill at the heart shaped face and green eyes watching
me. It was my lucky day because he was the third boy I’d seen that
morning who was delightful to look at. The thought had me veering
of course. Breandan was beautiful; he was a fairy, which was one of
the more attractive demons in existence. The only other boy I’d
seen was the vampire-boy, Tomas. Did I really think a dead guy was
attractive? Hadn’t I already decided his look did not appeal to me?
Uh, what a nasty thought. I shouldn’t find a blood drinker
sexy.
I reeled myself back in and focused. Devlin,
the boy I had headbutted, was a Disciple like me. He was smart,
quick and strong, as most of us were, but he was also popular. The
kind of Cleric in training the Priests like to parade around the
civilians to inspire hope and obedience. He’d started about a month
ago and was pretty much perfect at everything he did. He was adored
by the girls and worshiped by the teaching Clerics. Strangely
enough, he had always tried to talk to me and be nice. I’d never
paid attention and ignored him because the friendliness had always
seemed,
forced
, and had an undercurrent of falsehood. But
still, I smiled back when he grinned at me, or bobbed my head when
we past in the hallway since he made a big show of saying hai. Most
didn’t understand his interest in me, and for a while I’d been
higher on everyone’s radar, but after a week or so things returned
to normal. When I say normal, I mean I ignored everyone and
everyone ignored me. Devlin remained perfect and gorgeous, of
course.
His blonde hair so light it was white, and
when he smiled I had to blink. “You are excused,” he said and an
expression flickered across his face too fast for me to catch.
At his steady appraisal I became flustered,
but I did remember I needed to get outside. I navigated around him
then faltered. The space outside was empty. Rushing to the
windowsill, I pressed my face to the glass and turned my head at
every angle. There was nothing but well-tended grounds, Northhouse
– the boy’s dormitories – and the outer wall snaking around the
Temple. Crushing disappointment shook me up. Stomping back to my
seat I knocked into someone as I sat down. I focused on my lap and
sucked it up; trying to figure out if I’d lost my mind before the
next period started. A difficult task when I was not sure I was
fully sane to begin with. Maybe I’d cracked at some point but
hadn’t recognized it yet.
Alex yanked out her seat, dumped her bag and
slid into a chair beside me as the bell chimed.
Pulling myself together, I knew I needed to
show good manners, and looked over my shoulder with an apology for
the person I had knocked. I stiffened then looked forward, but the
damage was already done. Not feeling up for a confrontation, I
tried to make myself as small as possible in my seat. You know how
people say if you stand up to bullies they’ll back down, leave you
alone, and show respect? It’s a load of bull in my experience. I
stood up to Zoe on my first day; I wasn’t a pushover after all.
She’d never laid a finger on me again, but swapped physical
beatings for mental torture. Zoe was a large, sharp, pain in my
ass. I wanted to be left alone to do my own thing, but she couldn’t
help but make me feel more like a misfit. I peeked to see if she
was going to start something.
She glared at me, her heavily freckled face
twisted. “Reject,” she spat dragging a brush through masses of over
dyed purple hair. Her sleeve fell down with the stroke and I saw
she’d been marked now, a snake eating its own tail wrapped around
her wrist.
Alex heard her, and whilst I sunk further
down in my seat, she twisted round to flip the finger so forcefully
the table rocked. She added a mouthed ‘screw you’ for good
measure.
“You see her mark?” Alex said in a low aside
to me. “Takes more than the power of the Ouroboros to purify a
she-devil.”
This exchange hadn’t gone unnoticed, and the
other Disciples turned to look at me. My morning was slowly
tumbling into hell, and my best friend was not helping. Alex was
older than me in age not maturity. She’d turned twenty a few months
before and was a few weeks behind me in classes. I had hoped she
would take the final exam the same time as me so we could go over
to the Temple together. It wouldn’t happen if she failed her
physical. She’d have to retake the whole of grade six, and I didn’t
want to have to fail another exam to keep pace with her.