Delusive (41 page)

Feeling frozen in place, my body began to react viscerally and tensed at his presence. It didn’t matter where we were, and if my sense of smell, hearing, and touch went away. He elicited a reaction every time he was around me. I could feel him before any of my other senses knew it was him.

The rustle of clothing made me shut my eyes tighter. The wind at the top of my head fluttered. The sound of his clothing dropping to the ground, fell only inches away from me.
 

When I heard the splash of water from the pool—the water spraying back on me—I flinched.

The volume of the movement in the pool reverberated strongly, increasing in sound as he swam toward my position on the edge of the patio.
 

I could hear his breaths and feel it tickle my arm as he waded inside the pool beside me. A wet hand gripped my hand, making it form a fist. A soft kiss was placed on each one of my knuckles. Another hand reached up to move a curl away from my face.
 

His heat imposed upon me, making my breaths shallow. The water splashed and swayed. Streams of water dripped down onto my body, touching the flesh left exposed from the bikini I’d worn. His body hovered over me, continuing to allow the water to rain down on me. He grabbed my hips and gently rolled me back first on the towel underneath me.

I whimpered the second my ass hit the concrete.

His breath pressed against my face, the warmth of his body pressed at me, suffocating me with its closeness. “Open those beautiful eyes and look at me, Ley.”

I remained still with my eyes jammed closed, unwilling to look at him.

I heard him sigh in disappointment. “I want to show you one more thing, and after I do, there is someplace I want to take you. From there, I will give you two choices. You can sign the papers you are given and get what you want, or I can get a plane ticket and send you home.”

My eyes popped open, peering at the man staring down at me. His dark wet hair draped over his forehead. His thick lashes clumped and curled together, the sun shone across his eyes, making him squint to reveal only a peep of his glimmering green eyes. A smile pressed against his lips, making his dimples apparent. The smile that could excuse a thousand heinous crimes began to move me in ways I wished it didn’t. Gone was the man I witnessed last night. The man I fell for had made a return.
 

“And if I go home, you’ll leave me alone?”

The slight movement in his eyes told me no, even if his mouth couldn’t. There was also a small hint of distress. He shut his eyes tightly for a moment, allowing the genial to completely fade away. “Is this another one of your games? You and I both know you’d never leave me.”

“This isn’t a game to me, Elias.” I propped up on my elbows, hoping to make him move, but only succeeded in bringing us closer. “Last night? You…humiliated me. You made me feel ashamed for being bisexual.”

He faltered for a second and struggled to maintain his usual confident front. “You enjoyed every second of the way I treated you, and you deserved it, Hanley. You lied to me when you told me you wouldn’t want anyone else while you were with me. You’ve proved it was a lie time and time again. And let’s be transparent, it isn’t the only crime you’re guilty of.”

“I didn’t want Daniella,” I retorted, my words falling dreamily from my lips. I had no idea what last night was about until this very moment. It hit me like a tidal wave and diminished my anger. “She hit on me in the store yesterday, and I turned her down. And yes, I’m attracted to Skylar, but I never would’ve slept with her while I was with you. I never would’ve touched her or let her touch me in a sexual way, if you hadn’t pushed us together.
 

“Don’t you get it, Elias? I don’t go out seeking women to sleep with, you bring them to me. And I feel like I have to perform for you. I like Skylar a lot, but she was a friend.” I swallowed hard, hoping to clear the hoarseness in my voice but only made it worse. “You said you didn’t trust me anymore, and I think I finally figured out why. From the moment I told you the truth about my sexuality, you've become viciously insecure.”

Quickly changing from one emotion to the next, abject sadness took a firm hold of him. Forgetting about the days past, and deeply affected by Elias showing more cracks in his armor without saying many words to show me, I couldn’t help but feel empathetic. I reached up, moving his hair away from his forehead and allowed my hand to linger behind his head. “I want more of you—the man I met—instead of this man who does and says horrible things to punish me. The man who is capable of doing what you did to that man. Even if he did what you said he did, he…I don’t know.” Shaking my head, I moved to another land-mine of a topic. “Let me go, Elias. If you don’t really love me”—I choked up, dropping my hand from behind his head—“let me go.”

“You keep alluding to leaving me. Is that really what you want?”

Unable to answer him, I averted my eyes.

He embraced my face, reigniting our common gaze. “If at the end of the night you decide you don’t want what I can give you—what I’m willing to give you—take the plane ticket. I can’t leave here for another day or two, and that will give you time without me. It’s all I can give you, Hanley. Don’t ask me for more.”

“You
can
give me more.” My voice escaped me, fading in and out.

“I know”—he brushed his fingers down the fine hairs at my hairline—“and that is where the paperwork enters the equation. I can’t tell you what it is until after you come with me.”

“I need more than that, Elias.”

He closed his eyes, grimacing in torment. It was gone in a flash as he hoisted himself up on the patio and scooped me into his arms. I put up not a single hand to fight against him when he brought me inside the house and transported me upstairs.
 

Entering the bedroom, he moved toward the bed and gently placed me down. Even the softness of the bed made me wince and suck my teeth in pain.
 

Sitting on the edge of the bed next to me, he reached over to the table and grabbed a bottle of pills. Retrieving one white elongated pill, he brought it to my lips. “Open.”

My head swayed from left to right, denying whatever he tried to give me. He clutched the back of my head, digging his fingers into my scalp and yanked my head back. He repeated his demand as quietly as he did the first time.

My quivering bottom lip detached from the top, allowing the bitter pill to slide onto my tongue. He retrieved a bottle of water from the table, bringing it to my lips. I swallowed it down, gulping slowly.

His hands slipped up my body to cup my breasts through my bathing suit. His fingers swayed against my nipples, hardening them. He lifted my bikini top and sank down. His damp hair tickled my chin as he mouthed my nipple, grazing his teeth against the nub.

I slowly brought my legs together, fighting against the reaction he pulled out of my body. I began to feel weighted, and the pain he left me with last night began to lessen.
 

His lips raked down my abdomen and stopped just shy of my hip. Tucking his fingers underneath the knotted portion of my black bikini bottom, he moved them down my legs.
 

He looked up at me, bringing his hands around and underneath my thighs, directing my legs to drape over his shoulders. He found my hands where they rested on either side of me. Our fingers intertwined, evoking an unwanted calm inside me. He sank down, blowing a cool stream of air against my clit that made me whimper.

His tongue ran up the furrow of my pussy and stopped at my clit. He swirled the flat of his tongue against the center until I squirmed. Grasping my hands tightly, he wrapped his lips around the nub to suckle the most sensitive part. The warmth of his tongue lapped back and forth at the head of the bundle of nerves. The muscles in my legs convulsed at a constant rhythm.
 

My back arched as the feeling made me soar.

“Can I come?” I implored, my lips trembling and my voice shaking.

His eyes met mine over the landscape of my body. He never stopped manipulating me. Instead, his wink served as my permission. The wave pulled my body into a tense state. My orgasm leveled me, forcing me into a still, arched position as the rush debilitated me.
 

He kissed my inner thigh and gently kissed my quivering slit. Standing up, he ducked down and sank his teeth into my knee. His hand smoothed over my abdomen, ebbing and flowing with my panting breaths.
 

The gaping pit of emptiness inside me was uncovered and clamored to be filled again.

He moved to hover over my body and positioned my legs, allowing them to rest against his chest. He wiggled out of his boxer briefs, grabbed his erection and guided it inside my wet pussy. His pace was gentle, moving me in an ethereal way, giving me what I’d been clamoring for but had been deprived of. The heels of my feet dug into his shoulders as he stroked inside me, his momentum purposeful and unhurried, plunging deep and withdrawing almost completely from my sex. He repeated the motions over and over, evoking a different kind of response from my body. I bounced in slow motion in response to his movement and sank into bliss.

I spread my legs wider, allowing them to fall on either side of his body. Reaching up, I joined my hands behind his head and brought him closer to me. He exhaled a stream of heated hair at my lips. I opened my mouth and tilted up to kiss him. He responded by opening his mouth and exploring mine with his tongue.
 

Above me, I could feel the tension of his body disappear. He rested against me, letting his entire weight press against me. Our bodies mashed together as we worked together in a slow-winding rhythm. My lips and his never separated as we exchanged kisses tinged with passion and words we couldn’t express verbally.

The slow sway of pelvis and the gentle rock of his hips brought us to a purging and quiet climax.

In the aftermath of the slow and gentle session we had, we stared at each other—a continuing conversation without words. A conversation that pulled me right back into the sinking dark pit of quicksand. I closed my eyes, but it didn’t matter. Nothing I did mattered. I damned him by making him feel, and he damned me by skewing my purpose.

“I love you,” I admitted, my voice quiet and soft.

He lifted away from me, and when I opened my eyes, all I could see was his shocked face staring back at me.
 

“Did you hear me, Elias?” I asked, my voice quavering with disappointment and apprehension. “I said: I love you. It’s what you wanted to hear, right? Aren’t you going to say it back? You have…before.”

Ensuring I felt worse, he immediately slid out of me and got out of bed. Taking my hand, he led me to the bathroom to shower with him.

We didn’t exchange another word the entire morning.

THE VILLA FACED the beach and sat on the cliff alone. The nearest neighbors were nowhere to be seen. I gazed at the sunset, casting a purple and amber glow over the beautiful shore. The sounds of the waves and the rush of the wind filled my ears.
 

I was thankful the pain pill Elias gave me earlier abated my discomfort, allowing me to function again.
 

Following Elias closely, we entered the unassuming home on a private road. We walked across the wide marble-tiled hall, stopping at two heavy mahogany doors with gold lever handles to the right of the foyer.
 

He turned to me, cupping my face, running his hand up my head to toy with my neat bun. “Before we go in, you need to know that this is not only about you. The man’s life—his blood—is not on your hands. Do you understand?”

I could’ve questioned why we were here. But I was so worn down, I could barely manage a, “Yes, Elias,” let alone drum up the fight to find the woman inside who was lost to me.

My unfettered submission forced a crooked smile from his lips. The front door opened and in walked Jaco. He carried a bottle of water and handed a tan bottle to Elias. Leaning down in Elias’s ear, Jaco quietly said, “Silvio says you have one hour before he has to return.”

After nodding to Jaco, he dispensed one pill and handed me a bottle of water. I took it down without delay. He passed the bottle back to Jaco and adjusted the leather gloves on his hands. Using both hands, he pushed the doors to open. It was a dark office lined in wood paneling and decorated with Persian rugs and stained oak furniture.
 

A man sat on the back of his heels in the middle of a drop cloth, layered with plastic sheeting. Jaco walked into the room and positioned himself beside Mateus; the stranger kneeled between them. Duck-tape was over the kneeling man’s mouth and his eyes were swollen and red, rendering his hues barely visible. His hair was slick with sweat and blood and clung to his scalp.
 

Lazily, the man on his knees lifted his head to look up at me. Jaco, who stood beside him, ripped the duck-tape from his mouth. The man lobbed forward, and foamy blood trickled past his lips. He longingly looked down at something bloodied and small on the ground. His mouth opened wide, and I became cognizant of the fact that he was missing his tongue.
 

Upon further scrutiny, I realized beyond the destruction of his face who the man was—Earl.

I stepped back and bumped into a desk, knocking a heavy paperweight and several decorative pieces to the floor. The cracking of glass drew my eye to the floor. In the picture, beyond the shattered glass, I saw a woman, Silvio, and a little boy when he was maybe ten years old. From the eyes, I knew that the little boy was Elias. If I needed a confirmation of whose house we were in, I had it.