Delusive (27 page)

“And how much are Frankie’s bills?” I asked, trying to bring reason back into the discussion. “It won’t be enough.”

He suddenly grew more anxious. He constantly switched his position. His legs began to shake. His heels drummed an erratic beat on the steps. “I can’t make this decision for you. I know that. I wish you’d listen to me.”

“I don’t have a choice anymore.”
 

“My biggest worry about it, Hanley, is your choice wasn’t taken away because you think you have to do this, it’s because you believe you love him, and you’re falling deeper every day.” He stood up on the steps, looking down at me in melancholy. “Come home in one piece. We’ll leave, and forget about everything. When you come back is up to you. Please, don’t take too long. I will leave without you, if I have to.” His taps sounded down the steps at a slow pace, giving me time to change my mind before he left for good.

“Come on.” I stood quickly and met him on the sidewalk. “I’ll drive your car and take you home. You’re right about me needing space away from him, but I think it should be temporary. He needs to learn a lesson. I’ve…given him too much power over me, and I need to level things out a bit. Trust me and trust that I know Elias has no idea who we really are. Tonight was about something else. Elias being Elias. Manipulative.

“Well forget about him and tonight, and it will be just us. Dad and daughter, watching spaghetti westerns like we used to when I was a kid.”

He smiled wistfully. “I’d like that a lot, Hanley.”

I glanced back at the gallery, thinking about Elias. “He made his bed. He can sleep in it alone.”

IT WAS A quiet night of devouring homemade sundaes and watching westerns on the couch with my dad. It was nice, because we didn’t discuss what consumed our lives for too many years. I missed this part of him. The other part seemed to drain him and me day by day.
 

At the end of the night, he retired to take care of Frankie and I went to my bedroom. For a while, I stood in the hall, hearing the resounding echo of her machines beeping beyond the closed door. I recalled what the last nurse who quit had said, bringing up the question I had silenced many times previously.

I had been here before. A few times. I wanted to forget the warnings and see her that way. Every time I did, I reached the same question—should I see her—and I would talk myself out of it. My father would often remind me of what Frankie would have wanted, to remember her as she was. Frankie would’ve moved through hell to make sure I never had to see her that way. She was the epitome of a tough woman and lived by the motto: “Never let them see you at your weakest.”

As I entered my bedroom, I checked my phone. I had at least thirty messages from Elias. I deleted them all and prepared to go to bed. Tapping on the French doors startled me. When I saw Jaco standing there behind the glass, I jumped out of my skin.

Storming up, I swung open the doors and snarled, “Tell him to fuck off.”

He blinked at me as if I’d spat on him. “I wouldn’t normally do this, but he’s in a bad way.”

“What do you mean?’

The normally stoic Jaco was riddled with concern. “Come back to the house, Hanley. That’s all I’m going to say.”

"You're not saying enough to make me want to go with you, especially not after the way Elias acted tonight. The way he behaves too often, lately.”

Sighing, he rested his back against the doorframe. "I knew this would happen. No one can tell Elias what to do without him fucking them up. I…wanted to tell him to back off from you because I knew what would happen, but I like my face the way it is. He's never let himself be with a woman like he is with you. The things he’s done and made me and Mateus do?” Shaking his head, he expelled a whistle. “There is a reason he can’t get close. I don't know how or what you did, but he's there. He's no good at dealing with what you did to him. He's going to hurt himself, Hanley. That's how screwed up he is right now. Come. Don't come. You're the only one who can get to him. If something happens to him tonight, it's on you.” He rolled his eyes up to the sky and dropped his hands down to his sides. “He’s drinking, and Elias never drinks. Ever.” Muttering, “I did what I could,” he turned around and headed down the walk.

Hesitation took a firm hold of my decision-making process.
 

If I went back to him, it would’ve put the power back in his hands. But, I couldn’t deny that I was concerned. When Jaco began to disappear around the bend, I made my decision. In mere seconds, I grabbed my house keys, my shoes, and a jacket.
 

Elias’s pull in me started to strengthen and enacted a painful tug of war inside of me.

EIGHTEEN

JACO PULLED UP TO the circular drive and didn’t get out of the car to open the door for me as he usually would.
 

I walked up the short steps leading to the front door. The house looked almost completely dark from the exterior, only a small dim light emanated from the hall.

Once inside, I was stunned by what I saw. The interior of the house was wrecked, as though a burglar had come through, but decided nothing was valuable enough to take.

“Why…did…you…leave…me?” Elias’s taxed voice questioned me. He stood on the other side of the foyer with a half empty crystal tumbler in hand. His knuckles were crusted with blood. The clothes he had worn earlier in the evening were disheveled. His eyes were equally as wild as his hair and the skin surrounding his irritated eyes was pink. “Answer me, Hanley.” He remained quiet and still, staring at me.

“I couldn’t be around you anymore. Spending time with my father was better than spending time with you.”

“You really want me to believe that you were with him all night?” He squinted at me, his voice raising just slightly. “That you left my side…to be with him?”

“He needed me.”

“I needed you at
my
fucking side!” His booming shout bounced off the walls and rang inside my ears.

“You owe him and me an apology,” I stated clinically. “Maybe when you’re sober, you’ll do it.” Looking around the house he trashed, I expelled a long stream of air from my mouth. I stepped toward him, carefully, slowly. “Elias, you need professional help. You aren’t well—”

He threw his head back and laughed wryly. “That’s classic coming from you. I don’t need professional help. I need you.”

Not understanding the joke, I began to feel my confidence slip away from me. “There’s only so much I can—”

He threw the glass, sending it hurtling toward me. In defense, my hands flew up to block my face. It whizzed past my head and crashed against the door behind me. A backwash of shards hit my naked legs, stinging the exposed skin on my calves.

He launched forward and grabbed my hips. Marching toward me, he shoved my back against the wall beside the front door.
 

I put my hands up to push him away. He shoved my hands behind my back, pressing them against the small of my back. Reaching down, he ripped the fabric of my lounge shorts. My shorts split at the seams, coming apart and slipping down to my ankles. He did the same to my panties, leaving me completely naked from the waist down.

Staring at me, he licked his fingers purposely and jammed his hands down between my clenched thighs and began to rub my clit. “You’re not allowed to come unless I give you permission. I’m going to fuck you with my fingers, my tongue, and my cock, and if you’re good, maybe I’ll grant you permission to come. Once.”

“Elias—”

“Silence is the best gift you can give me right now.” His breath was heavy with the scent of hard liquor. His green eyes darkened to a deeper hue. Menace was in his tone, and pleasure was at his fingers.
 

He’d become unhinged—a state that should’ve made me smirk and feel slightly giddy over the power I had over him. Somehow, I couldn’t find a way to feel that way. He’d rearranged me just as much as I had rearranged him. Deep down, I knew what would happen when I came here, and it wouldn’t be a fairytale moment where Elias would agree to get the help he needed. A man like him never would.

I came for one reason only: I wanted him to punish me. I wanted to fight and scream like mad against what I desired, but my body had other plans. It was a fight for control he’d easily win.

He gently circled his thumb over the most sensitive area of my clit. It began to harden and swell under his touch. My sex burned for him to touch me, enter me, do anything he wanted to me. I closed my eyes, succumbing to the rush that hit me like a wave I couldn’t manage.

I moaned his name and was met with a slap to my pussy that stung me brutally. “Did I give you permission?”

My bottom lip quivered. My body surged with pain. After slipping my jacket off my shoulders, allowing it to pool to the floor, he grabbed the material of my black tank top and proceeded to rip it off my body. It fell onto the floor, leaving me completely exposed. Gripping my thighs, he pushed them apart, forcing my legs to spread. He sunk down to his knees, staring up at me. The pain he instilled in me made my clit overly sensitive to the gentleness of his tongue.

He never stopped, he licked me in steady circles around and around. When fingers entered me, my power was completely stolen from me.

He glared up at me and moaned against my clit. I couldn’t contain it and my climax coursed through my nervous system. Stopping immediately, he slapped my sex again, harder than the first time. The feeling worked me over like acid, pervading from my core.
 

Clutching my waist, he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. When he reached the bed, he threw me onto it. The mattress protested, making me bounce with the spring’s struggle to accommodate the sudden weight.
 

Ducking down to my feet, Elias removed each one of my sneakers, throwing them over his shoulder. When I wouldn’t open my legs, he pried them forcibly. Due to his unmatched strength, my obedience was foisted on me.

He unzipped and inched his cock inside me, riding me slow and penetrating me deeply.
 

Contradicting the sick desire that consumed me, wanting the punishment to never end, I tried to push him away and scoot back on the bed. Clutching my waist firmly, he slid me back down, spearing me with his cock. Restraining me, he pinned my hands down on either side of my head.

His arms held him slightly upright and the pressure of his weight pinched my wrists. His stare burned through me, appearing mixed with lust, anger, and euphoria.

My legs shook, as the slow teasing friction of his erection flooded my wet walls with pleasure, wanting to give in again. I’d never hated my body more than I did at this moment. “C-can I please come?”

“No,” he growled, fucking me harder. The slapping sounds of our bare flesh and my wet sex resounded loudly.
 

“Please, Elias. Please, please, let me come.” My pleas barely made it past my trembling mouth. My body convulsed as though it was thrust into a state of shock. With a sneer, he slammed into me, his thrusts unyielding. Each flex of his hips was more powerful than the last. With his legs underneath my behind, he pushed forward, coercing my hips to tilt up until the shaft of his cock rubbed against a spot inside my core that made me feel punch drunk. The euphoric friction devoured me. His pace was almost robotically hard and fast. Each shove pushed deep inside me, suffusing my sopping wet walls with pure rapture. The rush shocked my brain. Fear of more pain tried to counteract the ascent and failed miserably.
 

My body responded to him in ways that defied my self-control and logic. The promise of fear and more pain exacerbated my climax. I came blindingly hard. He didn’t stop for a second. His hands dug into my hips, his strokes were unrelenting, provoking me to caterwaul with pleasure. He intended to milk every second of my orgasm and he succeeded.

A sick smile spread across his face as he began to remove his belt from his undone pants.

He wrapped the belt around his hand until the end fit tightly in his closed fist. His hips retracted, removing his throbbing cock from my sex. “Why do you have such a problem with listening? You like it when I punish you, don’t you? You know why? Because you’re fully aware you’re a disobedient whore who likes to fuck with me. I’m glad you’re finally owning up to the title.” He eyed what was between my legs. The rough edge of the leather nipped at my skin as he ran his hand down the inner portion of my thigh. It rubbed against the lips of my sex, soothing them from the lingering torture. He reached up and slowly circled my clit.

A soft moan escaped from my closed mouth.

He tangled his hand in my hair and made my neck crane, forcing me to look at him.
 

Elias—watching my every move—seemed to have been thrown fully into a quiet fury. Despite whatever he felt, his dimples deepened, his eyes glittered, shielding the darkness just under the surface. “What happens to disobedient whores, Hanley?”

I left his question unanswered. His hand drew back and slammed into my labia with a slap harsh enough to make the sound echo.

My back arched, my mouth fell open, but only a pained squeak could escape. Given no time to become accustomed to the sensation, he hit me again. Harder. My body jolted with the force. Untamed tears filled my eyes. I swallowed it back, pressing my trembling lips together, fighting like mad against giving him the satisfaction of witnessing my twisted craving.