Delusional Love (2nd Edition) (11 page)

“So you’re going to rape me.” I said
angrily. “Is that what you want, you are such a pussy.” I yelled. “I swear to
god if you rape me you better kill me because I will call the police and have
them arrest your ass and you better hope they get to you before my brother
does.” He froze looking into my eyes. He sat down on the sofa slumped over with
his face in his hands.

 
“God, I am so sorry Ty, I don’t know what
came over me. He looked at me. I sat up pulling my knees to my chest and
wrapping my arms around my legs trying to hide my nakedness. I was determined
not to should how truly frightened I really was. “I thought we were going to
work through our problems and then I saw the condom wrapper and I went
crazy.
 
Please baby forgive me, I
promise I will never put my hands on you again. Give me another chance, give us
a chance.” A tear started to fall down his face. He tried to hug me but I
flinched back.
 
“You need to leave
now and I never want to see you again.” I said barely above a whisper. “If you
try to call me or come by again I will press charges and get a restraining
order against you. So if you value your precious reputation and career you will
leave me alone.”

“You don’t mean that Ty you know I love
you.”

I could feel my fear turning to anger. “You
are confusing delusional love with real love. Real love does not require you to
beat my ass because I don’t do something you like. I told you when you hit me
the first time we were done. You are truly delusional if you think that there
can ever be an “us” again. You killed that when you hit me four months ago.
 
Now please leave.” He opened his mouth
to say something then decided against it, instead his kissed my forehead walked
to the door and left without looking back.
 
I stood up steadied myself, walked to the door and locked it. I walked up
the stairs slowly feeling pain reeling throughout my body. I had to hold onto
the rail going up the stairs so that I could keep my balance.
 
I walked directly into the bathroom and
turned on the shower. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water spray all
over my body. I tilted my face upward feeling the stinging pain of blow I took
from the man who professed to love me. I remember sliding down the shower wall
onto the shower floor lying in a fetal position and sobbed loudly. I cried
because of the pain I felt in my body, the pain I felt mentally and the pain I
felt in my heart. How could I have loved a man who hurt me physically,
mentally, and emotionally?
 
I was so
shocked and ashamed the first time he hit me that I did not tell anyone not
even my best friends, but I was not going to be a victim and I was definitely
not going to stay with a man who hits me. I dragged myself out of the shower
and got in my bed where I stayed all weekend ignoring several calls I received
from my friends and you.

Lawrence
stood no longer able to contain his anger. “What’s his fucking name Ty.
”
He said louder than he wanted to.

“I’m
not telling you this story so that you can fight my battles for me I just want
you to know that place I am coming from so hopefully we can move past it. “Babe
I cannot stand by and knowingly let someone put their hands on you so I’m going
to ask you again, what’s his name?”

“I’m
not going to tell you because I don’t want you to end up in jail because of me.
I just want to know if you are still willing to give me a chance knowing that you
will have to be patient with me?” Lawrence looked into her eyes and wondered
how anyone could hurt someone so beautiful.
 
He grabbed her by her waist and pulled
her into a gentle hug.

“I
really care for you Ty and yes I can be patient.” He kissed her so gently that
her heart melted. He lowered himself onto the sofa and pulled her into his lap.
He rubbed her hair and back softly.
 
“I want you to know that I will never put my hands on you other than to
love you and to make love to you. I would never hurt you.”
 
He kissed her forehead as she lay on his
chest allowing him to comfort her. She didn’t know how long she was in that
position before she fell asleep. Lawrence could not sleep he could only think
about finding the animal that abused her and give him a taste of his own
medicine. Starting tomorrow he would find out who he was and make him pay.

-----------

When
Stephanie arrived home her cell phone rang. It was Ivan. She answered it.

“Yes?”

“Are
you home?”

“Yes.”

“I’m
on my way up.” With that he hung up the phone.
 
The doorbell rang and she opened the
door.

“Come
in.” He walked towards the sofa and sat. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No.”
He said as he sat silently.

“So,
you’re here. Talk.” She said getting frustrated.

He took
a deep breath. “Are you seeing him?”

“What?”

“Answer
the damn question, Stephanie. Are you seeing him?”

“You
know you’ve got a lot of nerve. First, you come to my house unannounced. Then
you demand answers to questions you have no right to, but for the record, no, I
am not seeing Lawrence. He and Tara are dating and he was asking me questions
about her when you walked over.” Stephanie said with anger in her tone,
blinking back tears. Why does she allow him to affect her? Ivan looked at her
and he felt like a ton weight had been lifted off of his chest. He sighed
deeply and walked over to her using his thumb to wipe away a tear that
escaped.
 
His entire left hand
encased the right side of her face as he pulled her into a kiss. The kiss was
soft but quickly deepened unleashing the passion he felt for her. His tongue
delved into her mouth, coaching her tongue into his. They both moaned as Ivan
reached under her tank top grabbing her breast, she felt her body melt into his
warmth.
 
Stephanie had a moment of
clarity realizing what was happening and pushed him away.

“No.”
She said stepping back to put distance between them. “You don’t get to do this.
You don’t get to come in here kissing me like you own
me and
leave
me wanting what I know you’re not willing to give. Please leave
Ivan, because I can’t do this. You know how I feel and if you are not willing
to truly give this a try then we have nothing more to say to each other. We
will keep our relationship strictly professional. If you can’t accept that then
consider this my resignation.” Ivan backed away and stared into her eyes. His
expression was serious as he spoke just above a whisper. He cupped her face
with both his hands as he looked into her beautiful eyes.

“I
can’t get you out of my head Stephanie. You are consuming my thoughts and I
can’t make it stop, do you understand how that feels, not to be in total
control? I sure as hell never had to deal with these types of feelings before.
I don’t know what to do but I know I don’t want to lose you.”

She looked
into his eyes surprised at his revelation. “I’m willing to try. I can’t promise
I will be any good at it because this is foreign to me. All I know is I want
you; I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.” He released her face, took
her hands into his as he sat on the sofa, and pulled her onto his lap so that
she straddled him. “Stephanie, look at me.” She turned her face to meet his
stare. “I want to be with you, are you willing to give me a try?”

“Yes.”
She replied. “More than anything.” Tears formed in her eyes.

“Good,
so we will give this relationship thing a try.” He said and they both laughed.

Ivan’s
expression turned serious. “God, you are so beautiful.” He whispered right
before he began to kiss her again. This time she did not resist. He pulled her
in tight.

“Steph,
you feel so good.” His hands travelled up her top caressing her breast. He
began a trail of kisses down her collarbone. He pulled her top over her head.
Stephanie felt dizzy; she could feel his manhood expanding between her thighs.
He pulled her face into his and kissed her so hard that she moaned. He parted
his lips to receive her tongue and she happily complied. She could feel the
wetness soaking her panties. She pulled away and stood.

“We
can’t do this.” She said not so confidentially. “I mean we can, uh, but I can’t
do this now. Trust me, I want you just as much as I feel you want me, but I
don’t want to be just another lay for you. I know we decided to give this a try
but I really think we should get to know each other before we sleep
together.”
 
Ivan looked at her with
a slight smile.
 
He stood walked
over to her grabbed her waist and pulled her into him.

“Steph,
I will wait as long as it takes for you to be comfortable with us. I do want
you but I can also understand your hesitation.” He brushed his lips with hers,
and then gave her a soft but passionate kiss. “Have dinner with me tomorrow
night. We can go back to Napoli’s.”

She
stared into his eyes. “Okay, what time?”

“I
will pick you up at seven o’clock.
 
I’m going to head out but I will see you tomorrow.” He kissed her again
then they walked towards the door. Stephanie closed the door behind Ivan and
went up stairs to take a shower and possibly make use of the removable
showerhead.

---------

Ashley
waited impatiently for Samantha. “What is taking her so long? If I weren’t
afraid, I would have a nervous breakdown. I would do the test by myself.” She
said out loud. Just then the doorbell rang. “It’s about time.” She said.

“Okay,
I’m here. What’s the emergency?” Samantha said annoyed.

“I
told you I wanted you to be with me when I did the test.” Ashley said
impatiently.

“What
test Ash? OOOOH. The test, why? Are you late? Do you think you might be
pregnant?”

“I
don’t know, but it’s show time. You know he doesn’t even accept my calls
anymore. This has to work, Sam I have to be pregnant or I may lose him forever.
I don’t know what’s wrong with him anyway. I mean look at me. Why would he want
some black chick when he could have this?” Ashley said while waving her hand
over her body.
 
“I do know that if
that new black bitch he hired thinks she is going to steal my man she has
another thing coming. You should have seen her Sam, walking around the office
like she is better than everyone.” Samantha looked at her delusional friend
with pity. “Well, let’s get this over with.”
 
Samantha said as she pointed to the
bathroom. “You know how to do it don’t you?” Samantha asked.

“Yeah,
I’m not an idiot. I will be right back.” Ashley huffed away and went into the
bathroom. After a few minutes Samantha knocked on the door.

“Ash
are
you okay? What does it say, Ash?”

Samantha
opened the door and Ashley was on the floor crying. She handed Samantha the
test stick. She looked at it and hugged her friend. “It’s going to be okay,
Ashley”

---------

SATURDAY
JULY 9
^th

Stephanie
was getting ready for dinner with Ivan “Oh my god, I’m actually dating Ivan.”
She felt like a high school girl with her first crush. Her heart was pounding
and her palms were sweaty. This was so surreal for her. It took her almost an
hour to choose her outfit. She decided to wear a light brown silk chiffon
halter dress. This was one of her favorite dresses. It really accented the
color of her eyes and she chose a pair of
high heeled
strappy
sandals. This was their first official date and although they were going back
to the same restaurant, it felt special because that place was special to him.
Stephanie had a glass of wine to steady her nerves. She drained the glass
before she realized it and poured herself another, careful to only take sips of
this one.
‘Why am I so anxious? It’s not
like we haven’t had dinner together before.’
 
She looked at the clock. It was six fifty
five. At that moment the doorbell rang. She drank the rest of her wine and
walked to the door. When she opened the door all she could think was, ‘
Why is this obscenely gorgeous man attracted
to me.’
 
Ivan wore a tailored
navy suit with a powder blue silk tie. This man was sexy on a stick. Ivan took
one look at Stephanie and she literally took his breath away.
 
He was momentarily rendered speechless.
‘What the hell is this woman doing to me?’

“Come
in. I’ll be ready in a second.” Stephanie said as she moved to the side so that
he could come in.

“You
look beautiful.” Ivan said as his speech returned.

“Thank
you, you don’t look too bad yourself.” She said smiling. “Do you want something
to drink?”

“No,
I’m fine.”

“Okay,
well I guess we can get going.” They had light conversation while driving to
the restaurant discussing their favorite music, movies, and books.