Delphi Complete Works of Robert Burns (Illustrated) (Delphi Poets Series) (13 page)

BOOK: Delphi Complete Works of Robert Burns (Illustrated) (Delphi Poets Series)
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60.

 

Epistle on J. Lapraik

 

An Old Scottish Bard. — April 1, 1785

 

WHILE briers an’ woodbines budding green,
An’ paitricks scraichin loud at e’en,
An’ morning poussie whiddin seen,
             
Inspire my muse,
This freedom, in an unknown frien’,
  
5
          
   
I pray excuse.

 

On Fasten-e’en we had a rockin,
To ca’ the crack and weave our stockin;
And there was muckle fun and jokin,
             
Ye need na doubt;
  
10
At length we had a hearty yokin
             
At sang about.

 

There was ae sang, amang the rest,
Aboon them a’ it pleas’d me best,
That some kind husband had addrest
  
15
             
To some sweet wife;
It thirl’d the heart-strings thro’ the breast,
             
A’ to the life.

 

I’ve scarce heard ought describ’d sae weel,
What gen’rous, manly bosoms feel;
  
20
Thought I “Can this be Pope, or Steele,
             
Or Beattie’s wark?”
They tauld me ‘twas an odd kind chiel
             
About Muirkirk.

 

It pat me fidgin-fain to hear’t,
  
25
An’ sae about him there I speir’t;
Then a’ that kent him round declar’d
             
He had ingine;
That nane excell’d it, few cam near’t,
             
It was sae fine:
  
30

 

That, set him to a pint of ale,
An’ either douce or merry tale,
Or rhymes an’ sangs he’d made himsel,
             
Or witty catches —
‘Tween Inverness an’ Teviotdale,
  
35
             
He had few matches.

 

Then up I gat, an’ swoor an aith,
Tho’ I should pawn my pleugh an’ graith,
Or die a cadger pownie’s death,
             
At some dyke-back,
  
40
A pint an’ gill I’d gie them baith,
       
      
To hear your crack.

 

But, first an’ foremost, I should tell,
Amaist as soon as I could spell,
I to the crambo-jingle fell;
  
45
             
Tho’ rude an’ rough —
Yet crooning to a body’s sel’
             
Does weel eneugh.

 

I am nae poet, in a sense;
But just a rhymer like by chance,
  
50
An’ hae to learning nae pretence;
             
Yet, what the matter?
Whene’er my muse does on me glance,
             
I jingle at her.

 

Your critic-folk may cock their nose,
  
55
And say, “How can you e’er propose,
You wha ken hardly verse frae prose,
             
To mak a sang?”
But, by your leaves, my learned foes,
             
Ye’re maybe wrang.
  
60

 

What’s a’ your jargon o’ your schools —
Your Latin names for horns an’ stools?
If honest Nature made you fools,
             
What sairs your grammars?
Ye’d better taen up spades and shools,
  
65
             
Or knappin-hammers.

 

A set o’ dull, conceited hashes
Confuse their brains in college classes!
They gang in stirks, and come out asses,
             
Plain truth to speak;
  
70
An’ syne they think to climb Parnassus
             
By dint o’ Greek!

 

Gie me ae spark o’ nature’s fire,
That’s a’ the learning I desire;
Then tho’ I drudge thro’ dub an’ mire
  
75
             
At pleugh or cart,
My muse, tho’ hamely in attire,
             
May touch the heart.

 

O for a spunk o’ Allan’s glee,
Or Fergusson’s the bauld an’ slee,
  
80
Or bright Lapraik’s, my friend to be,
             
If I can hit it!
That would be lear eneugh for me,
             
If I could get it.

 

Now, sir, if ye hae friends enow,
  
85
Tho’ real friends, I b’lieve, are few;
Yet, if your catalogue be fu’,
             
I’se no insist:
But, gif ye want ae friend that’s true,
             
I’m on your list.
  
90

 

I winna blaw about mysel,
As ill I like my fauts to tell;
But friends, an’ folk that wish me well,
             
They sometimes roose me;
Tho’ I maun own, as mony still
  
95
             
As far abuse me.

 

There’s ae wee faut they whiles lay to me,
I like the lasses — Gude forgie me!
For mony a plack they wheedle frae me
             
At dance or fair;
  
100
Maybe some ither thing they gie me,
             
They weel can spare.

 

But Mauchline Race, or Mauchline Fair,
I should be proud to meet you there;
We’se gie ae night’s discharge to care,
  
105
             
If we forgather;
An’ hae a swap o’ rhymin-ware
             
Wi’ ane anither.

 

The four-gill chap, we’se gar him clatter,
An’ kirsen him wi’ reekin water;
  
110
Syne we’ll sit down an’ tak our whitter,
             
To cheer our heart;
An’ faith, we’se be acquainted better
             
Before we part.

 

Awa ye selfish, war’ly race,
  
115
Wha think that havins, sense, an’ grace,
Ev’n love an’ friendship should give place
             
To catch-the-plack!
I dinna like to see your face,
             
Nor hear your crack.
  
120

 

But ye whom social pleasure charms
Whose hearts the tide of kindness warms,
Who hold your being on the terms,
             
“Each aid the others,”
Come to my bowl, come to my arms,
  
125
           
  
My friends, my brothers!

 

But, to conclude my lang epistle,
As my auld pen’s worn to the gristle,
Twa lines frae you wad gar me fissle,
             
Who am, most fervent,
  
130
While I can either sing or whistle,
             
Your friend and servant.

 

 

 

Chronological List of Poems

 

Alphabetical List of Poems

 

61.

 

Second Epistle to J. Lapraik

 

April 21, 1785

 

WHILE new-ca’d kye rowte at the stake
An’ pownies reek in pleugh or braik,
This hour on e’enin’s edge I take,
             
To own I’m debtor
To honest-hearted, auld Lapraik,
  
5
             
For his kind letter.

 

Forjesket sair, with weary legs,
Rattlin the corn out-owre the rigs,
Or dealing thro’ amang the naigs
             
Their ten-hours’ bite,
  
10
My awkart Muse sair pleads and begs
             
I would na write.

 

The tapetless, ramfeezl’d hizzie,
She’s saft at best an’ something lazy:
Quo’ she, “Ye ken we’ve been sae busy
  
15
             
This month an’ mair,
That trowth, my head is grown right dizzie,
             
An’ something sair.”

 

Her dowff excuses pat me mad;
“Conscience,” says I, “ye thowless jade!
  
20
I’ll write, an’ that a hearty blaud,
             
This vera night;
So dinna ye affront your trade,
             
But rhyme it right.

 

“Shall bauld Lapraik, the king o’ hearts,
  
25
Tho’ mankind were a pack o’ cartes,
Roose you sae weel for your deserts,
             
In terms sae friendly;
Yet ye’ll neglect to shaw your parts
             
An’ thank him kindly?”
  
30

 

Sae I gat paper in a blink,
An’ down gaed stumpie in the ink:
Quoth I, “Before I sleep a wink,
             
I vow I’ll close it;
An’ if ye winna mak it clink,
  
35
             
By Jove, I’ll prose it!”

 

Sae I’ve begun to scrawl, but whether
In rhyme, or prose, or baith thegither;
Or some hotch-potch that’s rightly neither,
             
Let time mak proof;
  
40
But I shall scribble down some blether
             
Just clean aff-loof.

 

My worthy friend, ne’er grudge an’ carp,
Tho’ fortune use you hard an’ sharp;
Come, kittle up your moorland harp
  
45
             
Wi’ gleesome touch!
Ne’er mind how Fortune waft and warp;
             
She’s but a bitch.

 

She ‘s gien me mony a jirt an’ fleg,
Sin’ I could striddle owre a rig;
  
50
But, by the L — d, tho’ I should beg
             
Wi’ lyart pow,
I’ll laugh an’ sing, an’ shake my leg,
             
As lang’s I dow!

 

Now comes the sax-an’-twentieth simmer
  
55
I’ve seen the bud upon the timmer,
Still persecuted by the limmer
             
Frae year to year;
But yet, despite the kittle kimmer,
             
I, Rob, am here.
  
60

 

Do ye envy the city gent,
Behint a kist to lie an’ sklent;
Or pursue-proud, big wi’ cent. per cent.
             
An’ muckle wame,
In some bit brugh to represent
  
65
             
A bailie’s name?

 

Or is’t the paughty, feudal thane,
Wi’ ruffl’d sark an’ glancing cane,
Wha thinks himsel nae sheep-shank bane,
             
But lordly stalks;
  
70
While caps and bonnets aff are taen,
             
As by he walks?

 

“O Thou wha gies us each guid gift!
Gie me o’ wit an’ sense a lift,
Then turn me, if thou please, adrift,
  
75
             
Thro’ Scotland wide;
Wi’ cits nor lairds I wadna shift,
             
In a’ their pride!”

 

Were this the charter of our state,
“On pain o’ hell be rich an’ great,”
 
 
80
Damnation then would be our fate,
             
Beyond remead;
But, thanks to heaven, that’s no the gate
             
We learn our creed.

 

For thus the royal mandate ran,
  
85
When first the human race began;
“The social, friendly, honest man,
       
      
Whate’er he be —
‘Tis
he
fulfils great Nature’s plan,
             
And none but he.”
  
90

 

O mandate glorious and divine!
The ragged followers o’ the Nine,
Poor, thoughtless devils! yet may shine
             
In glorious light,
While sordid sons o’ Mammon’s line
  
95
             
Are dark as night!

 

Tho’ here they scrape, an’ squeeze, an’ growl,
Their worthless nievefu’ of a soul
May in some future carcase howl,
             
The forest’s fright;
  
100
Or in some day-detesting owl
             
May shun the light.

 

Then may Lapraik and Burns arise,
To reach their native, kindred skies,
And sing their pleasures, hopes an’ joys,
  
105
             
In some mild sphere;
Still closer knit in friendship’s ties,
             
Each passing year!

 

 

 

Chronological List of Poems

 

Alphabetical List of Poems

 

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