Deliverance for Amelia (19 page)

Chapter Fifty: Amelia

I
SWAY FROM SIDE TO SIDE as my fingers move along the windowsill, my fingers mimicking the tunes streaming from the stereo. I’ve always wanted to play “The End of the World” by Skeeter Davis, such a beautiful song.

How do people go on? Knowing that I’m stuck in this prison?

I don’t think I’m capable of crying anymore.

I sigh as I run my hand over where the now healed incision is – right below my bikini line. We buried the baby out by the stream. I’ve not been able to face that spot. I can’t do it.

I was afraid, so afraid to be a mother. However, now I can’t help but believe that little Gabriel would have been my lifeline. Now I have nothing, nothing to keep my heart beating or my lungs expanding. Nothing to live for.

“Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don’t they know, it’s the end of the world?” I sing, allowing my hand to slide from the windowsill as I walk to the bathroom. I start a bath and sit on the edge of the tub, allowing the warm water to run through my fingers.

I’m wearing a thin, white nightgown when I step into the bath, allowing the water to continue to flow. Not caring if it runs over the edges.

I rest my head on the back of the porcelain tub as I hold a razor between my thumb and index finger, tapping it against the tub to the same beat of the song.

Chapter Fifty-One: Gabe

I
EXIT THE GUEST BEDROOM, and walk down the hallway. Amelia’s been playing the same damn depressing song on repeat for hours.

I look at Able, “Has she even came out today?”

He shakes his head slowly. I huff as I reach to the doorknob and attempt to open it, but she locked it from the inside, and I don’t have my keys handy. She fucking locked me out of my own bedroom.

I hit the door with the side of my fist several times, and either she’s not hearing me over the music or something is terribly wrong. I feel like my heart is beating in my throat.

“Amelia!” I holler, still nothing. Able looks equally as concerned as I back up and slam my shoulder into the door – causing splinters to fly in every direction as the door bounces off of the wall behind it. The room is perfectly clean, the bed looks to have not even been slept in.

My eyes scan the rest of the room. She’s no-where to be seen. I see a puddle of water beneath the crack of the bathroom door as the CD skips back and begins repeating that fucking song again. I walk over to it and turn the machine off before balling my fists and cautiously walking towards the bathroom. I place my hand on the knob and squeeze my eyes shut before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

I rush to the bathtub and turn off the faucet to keep any more water from flowing over the side. Standing straight, my eyes travel down her pale body. Her chest is still expanding with each breath as the blood drains from her small wrists and cloud the water that has collected beside the tub. I crouch down to where I’m eye level with my wife. Her face is so white and her damp, dark hair sticks to her cheeks, sharply contrasting against her pale complexion. Her eyes carry the same vacant look that they have had for weeks now.

I run my hand over my face as I look towards her. She blinks and stray tears escape her beautiful eyes.

“Just let me go, Gabe.” She whispers through barely parted lips.

I shake my head, “No. You’ve already killed our son, I won’t allow you to kill yourself.”

A sob escapes her, “Just give me this. Please. Just this. You’ve taken everything else.”

“Absolutely not.” I say as I retrieve the phone from my pocket and dial the doctor.

“Gabriel, what is going on here? She’s suicidal. She should be in a hospital where she can be watched.” Dr. Kerr says, running a hand through Amelia’s hair. She is asleep now. The doctor has stitched and dressed her wounds after giving her a shot that lulled her into a deep slumber. 

I sigh, “She lost our son. She’ll get better.” I stand from where I’ve been sitting at the edge of the bed, “I’ll have Able watch her, and I’ll remove anything that she could hurt herself with.”

The doctor nods as she stands and straightens her suit, “Alright. As usual, you have my number. Call me if anything comes up.”

“Thank you Dr. Kerr.”

She steps out of the room and I tuck my hands in my pockets as I look down at Amelia. I almost lost her too. The thought awakens the darkness that’s been sleeping.

I step from the room and nod to Able, “She’s not to be alone. Your new post is in our room, at the foot of the bed. Remove any sharp objects from the bathroom. Stay with her at all times,” I pause as I run my hands through my hair, “Start taking her on walks again. She needs to get out of the house. I will relieve you at the end of your shift. There will be consequences if she is left alone and hurts herself again.”

Chapter Fifty-Two: Able

T
HE SUN PEEKS THROUGH THE TREES as we walk our normal path, melting the snow that clings to the branches as leaves begin to sprout. The spring air is sweet smelling like the flowers blooming throughout the trail.

Amelia is quiet. She’s been quiet in the weeks following the baby’s death. I can imagine that her frail mind is being tormented with “what-if” thoughts. If I could steal away her pain, I would.

I’m purposely taking her to the baby’s grave. She’s not been yet, but she needs to. She needs to finally close the wound in her heart, and in order to do that, you have to face what plagues you.

She stops abruptly when she sees the gravestone where Gabriel’s name is etched. I wrap my arm around her waist as her knees begin to give out from under her.

“No.” She murmurs.

“Amelia, pay respects to your son.” I say softly, but she shakes her head.

“I can’t do it, Able. I killed him.” She whispers.

“What?” I ask, turning her to face me as I cup her cheeks. Her eyes are full of tears as her eyebrows pinch together.

“I-I did. Able, Gabe was right. I should have taken care of myself.”

“No. Amelia.” I say as I wipe at her tears with my thumbs.

“He says that he loves me, Able. It’s not true. How can you love someone and do the terrible things that he does. He-he won’t even let me die!” She says before a sob follows.

“Amelia,” I say sternly, “Go say goodbye to your son.” I release her and gently grasp her arm. She grudgingly follows and falls to her knees as her fingers dig into the loose dirt on top of the baby’s grave.

“How do you say goodbye to someone that you’ve never met?” She whispers as her eyes travel up to meet mine.

I sit across from her on the other side of the grave, “We’ll sit here for as long as it takes for you to figure that out. Dig into your heart for the words to say. They don’t have to be said aloud. Maybe just lie with him for a while. Speak to him with your heart. Make a space for him to stay in your soul.”

She nods stiffly as she lies on her side and continues to run her hand through the soil. I lie on my side as well and watch the emotions flit across her face as she squeezes her eyes shut.

We lay like that for hours as she comes to peace with her loss. I watch her features loosen as her heart is lifted from the heaviness that’s been holding it down. Finally, she opens her eyes. Her head is resting on the grass. The brown eyes look to be at peace once again. I sigh as a small smile crosses her face as she reaches towards me from across the grave. Our fingers entwine as our gaze stays locked.

“Thank you.” She whispers.

Chapter Fifty-Three: Amelia

“
S
O KAT, TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF.” I say as I run a brush through my hair. Gabe decided that it would be a good idea for us to be “friends”, though I really can’t complain much. I’ve been yearning for female companionship – even if it is forced.

Kat is odd and fidgety. She seems almost like a young child who is plagued with boredom as her blue eyes travel around our bedroom.

“Oh… I don’t really know what there is to tell.” She says bashfully.

“Well, for starters, where are you from?” I ask as I apply red lip stain to my lips.

“I’m from Texas. Mesquite area.” She says hurriedly.

“Oh? I’ve never been there.” I respond.

“Well, there’s not much to see. Promise.” She mumbles with a thoughtful smile overcoming her face.

“Do you miss it?”

Her eyes snap to mine, “No. I don’t miss it at all.”

I tilt my head to the side, as my gaze captures Able’s reflection in the vanity’s mirror.

“What about your parents?”

“I left home when I was sixteen.”

I turn to face her, “Oh?”

“Yeah, my daddy wouldn’t stop hitting my momma and me. Momma wouldn’t leave, so I did. I’d been living on the streets of Dallas. Until Gabe saved me.”

I huff, “Saved you?”
“Yeah, he said that I could stay here as long as I… help him.”

I lift an eyebrow. “Help him? How?”

Kat’s eyes grow wide as her gaze drops to her lap. “I thought he told you. He said that you would be okay with it.”
I hop up from where I’ve been sitting and begin walking to the door, “Kat, I’ll be right back.”

I barge into Gabe’s office where he sits with his hands behind his head as he leans back in his chair, looking over his laptop screen.

“You never cease to amaze me,
husband
.” I sneer.

He sighs, “I’m guessing that you talked to Kat.”

“I did.” I spit out, “You’re using a poor girl who-who…”

“Say it Amelia. She’s an undereducated flea of society.” He says nonchalantly.

“She’s a person!” I exclaim, and he rolls his eyes as he stands.

“Amelia,” He says as he rounds his desk and stands in front of me, “When you were sitting in the back of daddy’s limo, eating your fancy dinners and buying your designer clothes – you wouldn’t even look at her twice.”

“That’s not true!”

“That’s a lie, Amelia, a terrible lie. Do you know why? Because you’re trying to feel better about yourself, you’ve known privilege your entire life. She’s known no such thing.” He smiles slyly as he runs his fingers over my cheek, “She’s weak. She’s training to be a nice little pet.”

Without a second thought, I rear back and slap the hell out of him. He doesn’t blink or flinch – he remains completely impassive.

“What is it, Gabe? Tired of me? Good. Let. Me. Go.” I grit out.

He tilts his head to the side, and in a flash he has me pinned down to the desk with my ass in the air.

“Do you think that I could get tired of this?” He whispers, running a palm over my now bare ass. The dress I’d been wearing now bunched at my waist and my wrists pinned behind me.

“I wish you would.” I whisper, and his hand snakes up to my neck, his long fingers wrapping around.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about squeezing the life out of you, Amelia? How many times I’ve wanted to take that last thing from you?”

He squeezes harder and I’m gasping for a breath, “Go ahead… I’d rather die than to be with you.”

His large form encompasses mine as he leans forward and whispers into my ear, “Never. You’re mine baby. All mine.”

He releases me and I quickly whip around to face him, “So you’re going to be fucking her because you’re completely happy with fucking me? That makes no sense.”

His jaw tightens as his green eyes delve into my own, reading every inch of my mind. “Amelia, I don’t want to hurt you. That’s why she’s here.”

My mouth drops open as I shake my head, “So, basically you’re going to beat her?”

Gabe smiles and pokes my nose before walking around his desk and taking a seat once more, “I’m not going to answer that, Amelia. Now run along. I’ve got work to do.”

I give him one more incredulous look before escaping the confines of his office, allowing the door to slam behind me.