Deliver us from Evil (63 page)

'Her slowness ensured that
I
never lost her until, just beyond the outskirts of Prague,
I
saw Milady and Lightborn each waiting on horses, and the Marquise struggling into the saddle of a third.
I
watched as she shook out her reins, and then the three of them wheeled and galloped away.
I
ran forward. The track they had taken was bogged with mud, and the trail of their hoofprints obvious enough; yet even as
I
began to follow them,
I
felt a sense of numbing hopelessness, for
I
dreaded to think how far the hoofprints might lead.
I
tried to run; but
I
was still very weak, and
I
shuffled and slithered my way through the mud. It seemed to be growing thicker; and soon it was sucking and pulling on my feet. Rounding a corner,
I
could see the Vltava flowing sluggish ahead. The path wound along its side, rising up towards a straggle of barren trees, and then down a hillside pockmarked with quarries. No longer running,
I
crept stealthily on. The pain was worsening again.
I
was not surprised - for
I
had realised now what it was that lay ahead. And yet
I
knew as well, for the same reason, that there could be no turning back; and so
I
continued through the pain, up the path, towards the trees. Three horses had been tethered there; and ahead of me
I
could see their riders gathered by the river. They were talking violently - arguing, it seemed. All about them stretched a bleak expanse of muddy silt and clay.

I
braced myself: for
I
knew
I
was approaching where the
golem
had been formed, and where the Spirit of Evil had been scattered by the Pasha into dust. But
I
was hungry to understand why Milady had betrayed me; and so
I
gritted my teeth, and began to descend. Ever more cruel, the pain was gnawing at me now; but still
I
fought to ignore it, as
I
reached the tree which stood nearest to the river, and then sank down in agony amidst the tangle of its roots. Sheltered where
I
was,
I
could hear the argument clearly now. Milady, it seemed, was reluctant to surrender the book. "You promise," she was hissing, "you promise then, Madame, that you will solemnly keep to the agreement that we made?"

'The Marquise laughed contemptuously. "
I
have told you, Milady, you shall have all your grovelling wishes made true." Her voice sounded hoarse and cracked.
I
stole a glance around the side of the tree. The Marquise's hood had fallen back from her face, and
I
could see that she was quite as ugly as before - all the more so, indeed, for her expression seemed twisted by a desperate greed and her eyes were burning like hungry coals. "Come, Milady." She leered horribly. "Give it to me."

' "How can
I
trust you?" Milady whispered. "How can
I
know that you will truly keep your word?"

' "You cannot," the Marquise answered, "and yet what choice do you have? For you remember, Milady, what happened before - when you sought to rule the book, and found that you could not."

'These words startled me, and
I
wondered what they meant.

Certainly, Milady did not contradict them; but gazed down at the book, as though in despair. "Yet
I
am afraid," she said at last, "that you as well, Madame, will find yourself too feeble for its power."

' "My knowledge and strength are much greater than your own."

' "Yes - but so also is your greed."

'The Marquise shrugged wearily, and sighed.
"
I
have promised you, Milady, that before
I
pursue my own ambitions in the book,
I
shall first achieve your own, as we agreed in London. So come." She stepped forward. "Give the book to me."

'Milady breathed in deeply.
I
thought, gazing at her then, that she had rarely seemed more lovely - though why
I
should have felt that with such sudden force, when
I
could see the evidence of her treachery there before me in her hands,
I
was unable to explain.
I
watched as she passed the book across. The Marquise seized it; she opened the pages, and at once began to read. And then, as before, my existence seemed to melt.'

Lovelace paused. 'How to describe it?' He shook his head. 'There was the great line of power swirling around us, yet even purer, even more invisible than it had seemed on the bridge, so that it was the visible world which grew intangible and unreal, and
I
could feel myself fading from it as my pain began to bleed and melt into the power.
I
realise, my Lord,
I
am not making sense; yet what
I
felt and saw cannot be framed by mortal words. All of time, all of experience at that moment seemed dissolved, so that
I
could comprehend in a single second a myriad different things - and yet now, in my descriptions,
I
must anatomise and divide into portions what was formerly a whole.' He narrowed his eyes. 'There was my pain .
..'
he whispered. 'God's wounds, there was my pain - and as
I
felt it rend me, so also
I
saw images
I
had glimpsed before in the nightmares of my sickness: myself a corpse, my guts exposed; a tiny child, beslobbered with blood. Now, though, my Lord,
I
could see the baby's face: dead-eyed, maggot-faced, with ravening jaws, and as
I
stared at these jaws so
I
doubled up again with pain, for
I
imagined they were gnawing at my stomach's flesh.
I
imagined blood flowing from my every orifice; imagined it flooding that mighty swirl of light, so that what had formerly seemed pure now seemed blackened and thick, swirling like a whirlpool towards a single point of darkness, and
I
knew that point was where the
golem
had been made, where the Pasha had dissolved his foe into dust, the very heart of the great line of power, where blackness seemed bright and fire icy-cold.

The Marquise was standing in it, her arms upraised, and she was laughing. "See," she cried, "see!" She brushed back her cloak, and
I
saw that her face appeared luminous, her former loveliness restored to her, restored to her and more, for her beauty now was terrible to behold.

' "Your promise!"
I
heard Milady scream.

'The Marquise shuddered, and seemed to flicker upon the ravening darkness.

' "Your promise!"

' "No!" The Marquise flickered again, as though now a part of the fire. "For what can you possibly understand? You cannot see it, not feel it, what
I
might do, might become!" Still she flickered, fading fast now. "
I
glimpse Eternity before me." She screamed. "
I
have it - here -it is my own - in my hands!"

'She was holding the book; and then it was gone, and the Marquise was gone too: fires snuffed out in the onslaught of a gale. Where she had been standing there was a rent of darkness; and
I
felt my pain, and myself, and all the world passing through it.
I
saw, beyond the rent, the profile of a face; and
I
knew it was the rock-wall
I
had seen before in my dreams. Now, though, it turned to stare at me; and
I
saw that the face was not made of rock at all.
It
frowned as it met my eye; and the darkness was suddenly lit by blinding light. Then there was darkness again, and
I
found myself lost upon a firestorm of pain; and there seemed nothing else, nothing at all.

'As before,
I
had no sense of the passage of time. Only when a bottle was forced between my teeth, and
I
felt the taste of
mummia
burning my throat, did
I
imagine
I
was waking and escaping the pain; but the relief was momentary, and my senses still obscured.
I
would be aware vaguely of the rumbling of a carriage; and
I
would remember the rumbling of a carriage long before, when
I
had likewise lain upon a silk-sheathed lap and felt a lady's fingers stroke through my hair. Lulled by their ministrations now,
I
would slip into a merciful oblivion; before the pain, very soon, would flicker back through my sleep, as flames will spread across a lake of oil.
I
continued insensible to almost all else; save that as time passed,
I
would sometimes imagine that
I
glimpsed Milady's face and, opposite me, Lightborn's cold, mocking stare. Then dimly,
I
remember,
I
felt a wind against my cheek; and then a rolling and a pitching, like that of a boat. Yet such things still occurred beyond the threshold of my senses; for it seemed too great a challenge to my will, to my powers of resolution, to be anything other than what
I
already was - the prey and abject slave of my pain.

'And then
I
felt
mummia
again in my throat. As
I
swallowed it,
I
thought how
I
had not tasted it for what seemed a long, long while. There was the sound of gulls screaming overhead,
I
realised; and from below me a faint, gentle rocking to and fro.
I
stirred.
I
seemed to be lying on bare wooden boards. When
I
opened my eyes,
I
was in virtual darkness; but by my side, his pale skin gleaming cold,
I
could just make out Lightborn.
I
stared at him. He smiled back at me, but his look was not friendly. "Awake, then, at last?"

' "Where are we?"
I
murmured.

' "Aboard the good ship
Faithful Pilgrim."

' "Where are we moored?"

' "By Deptford."

I
gazed at him, so astonished that
I
could barely speak. "We are in London?"
I
whispered. "We have travelled so far?"

' "So far, and so long.
I
has been a ride of many days since we left Prague behind."

' "
I
remember .
.."

'Lightborn raised his eyebrow inquiringly. ' "
I
remember - a gash of darkness . . ." 'Lightborn nodded distantly. "As well you might." ' "Indeed?"

' "It consumed the Marquise." ' "She is dead?"

' "Dead and gone - as the book is gone too."

I
stared at him; and felt my pain return. "Then all is lost."

' "It is indeed." Lightborn paused. His smile still flickered very faintly on his lips. "And more so, perhaps, than you have yet understood."

I
frowned. "What do you mean?"

'Lightborn reached for the bottle of
mummia.
He handed it to me. "Drink it again."

' "Answer me first." ' "Drink it."

I
lay frozen for a moment; then took the bottle and raised it to my lips. Lightborn watched me. "Doubtless," he murmured, "you were somewhat surprised to discover that myself and the Marquise were both in Prague."

I
laid down the bottle. "Somewhat,"
I
agreed.

' "You should not blame Milady, for - alas! - all the calumnies are true - it is ever the nature of woman to be treacherous. Be grateful, then, Lovelace, that Milady's deceit was the bastard of her great love for you."

' "Her bastard? Indeed? Bred upon what?"

' "Why, the teeming womb of her fear."

I
gazed at him disbelievingly. "Fear, Lightborn?"

' "That she might lose you."