Delicious Desires (19 page)

Adam looked up nervously at Caroline. She smiled and nodded in encouragement.

He stepped forwards and put his hands into the box, just as the doctor had done. His one hand was bigger than the baby and it trembled slightly as he manoeuvred it to touch this tiny warm thing. His fingers brushed the almost translucent skin. It felt so fragile that Adam didn’t know if he should put his rough hands on him. Barely breathing, he looked up at the doctor nervously.

“It’s okay.” The doctor reassured him. “Babies are tougher than they first appear. Hold your hand under his head.”

Adam slid his huge hand round and under his son’s dark hair. As soon as he felt the weight in his hand, he knew what to do. He lifted him gently, cradling his baby in hands big enough to crush him.

The emotions that immediately surged through him were like nothing he’d ever felt before. His
heart leapt i
n
his chest, filling it with warmth. Strange but happy emotions flooded his body. This tiny little thing had been created by the two of them, in the most beautiful night of lovemaking the world had ever experienced.

He knew instantly that he would die from a hail of bullets,
brave raging seas or fight savage, wild animals with his bare hands to keep his son safe from harm.

For the first time in his adult life, all self
-control was thrown out of the window and tears sprang to his eyes. There was nothing he could do to stop them and he let them run down his face. Caroline reached forwards and tried to brush them away with her hand. Neither of them had noticed that the doctor had left the room.

“Wha
t shall we call him?” She asked when he looked as though he could speak coherently.

Adam blinked hard
and cleared his throat.

“I don’t know. It still hasn’t sunk in properly. I can’t think straight at all. One minute I was the most miserable man on the earth and the next I’m the happiest dad in existence.” Adam smiled indulgently down at the tiny baby in his arms. “Have you had any ideas? You’ve had a bit longer to think about it than
I.”

Caroline let out a small gasp.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t believe how selfish that was of me. I should have had the courage to tell you. Will you ever forgive me?” Her voice was just a whisper as she dropped her eyes to her hands.

“It’s okay Caroline. I’m not moaning at you. I know you had your reasons. Come on, tell me what names you’ve thought of.” He didn’t sound at all annoyed.

“I thought Toby might be okay?” Caroline

watched
him carefully as she spoke.

“Toby’s just perfect.” Adam agreed and he lifted Toby to his lips and kissed him gently on his forehead. “What surname is he having?” Adam didn’t
need to look at Caroline for her could tell he was holding his breath. 

She made him wait for a second
and then she smiled radiantly.

“Cavendish of course. Whoever else would he be?” She reached out a finger and touched Toby’s tiny hand.

The relief and joy on Adam’s face was more than obvious, but he merely nodded and said.

“Thank you Caroline. I don’t know what to say to you. I can’t believe that you’ve gone through this on your own. I should have been with you all this time. Tell me why, please. Why did you leave me, when I was in the hospital? Why didn’t you tell me you were having my baby?” Adam laid Toby down very gently in his cot and came to sit on the bed with her. He picked up her hands in his again.

Caroline sighed before she spoke.

“I didn’t want to leave, but I couldn’t be there with your girlfriend there too. I had to get out. Why did she have to be there Adam? She hadn’t bothered for the two days before, while you were still sedated, but the instant you woke up she was all over you. I knew you would stay with her. You wouldn’t be interested in me with her around.” Her voice was bitter and her eyes fell to the bed as Adam
’s mouth opened in shock.

“But I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t know who you’re talking about.” His voice was hesitant as he tried to say the right words. “I didn’t want anyone until you suddenly came along. I haven’t dated for a couple of years. I thought af
ter we spent the night together that you were going to fill that role. I know I was away for too long but I couldn’t believe it when I came back and saw you hugging David.” He kissed the back of her hand softly. “I didn’t know he was your brother. I thought you’d found someone else.” He paused again and this time Caroline spoke with sorrow in her tone.

“Oh Adam, you
idiot. Why didn’t you come to me? I would have explained. David’s wife had temporarily chucked him out. He’d been seeing far too much of his friends.  He came to visit me and the van for a few days. He’d loaned me the money for it.” Her face clouded slightly. “But you don’t have to lie about your girlfriend. I heard you making love to her once when I called, I could even hear the bed banging about. She was telling you to stop rushing it.” Caroline’s face flamed with embarrassment but she just had to get this off her chest. “It was just before I saw you with her at the lifeboat station the day you were late for that drill. She drove your car Adam. And then I heard you with her again when I tried to call you while you were in Dubai. I heard you telling her to get rid of me off the phone.” She looked back up at him, accusingly.

Adam looked totally confused.

“What? Who was driving my car?” He sounded genuinely surprised. And then it all clicked into place.

“But that was Tricia, my housekeeper. She cleans and sometimes cooks for me. I told you about her the day you stayed after you were drugged.” His eyes were as confused as Caroline’s. He continued. “She’s married to Alf, my driver. He drove you home the same nigh
t. Trish had been driving my Mercedes that day because she can’t stand the Bentley. It’s too big for her. Alf couldn’t drive because of his sciatica. He’s been in agony with it for months. And the banging, well that was probably me bashing the steering wheel. It’s a terrible habit that I have when I’m annoyed. We’d been stuck in traffic for ages and the boys were desperate to get out for a practice.”

It all sounded so simple when he
said it like that. She had once seen him thumping his hands the steering wheel herself.

“But she was with you in Dubai. I heard you both.
There was a lot of moaning and you made excuses not to speak to me.” Caroline blushed again as she floundered, still accusing, trying to take in what he was saying.

Adam shook his head.

“No she wasn’t. And no you didn’t.” He said firmly, obviously speaking the truth. “I had my phone stolen and any calls to my number were diverted to my home here until I set up the new phone service. I bet you heard Alf moaning about his legs in the background. Sciatica gets you like that. It’s agonizing apparently. He was as miserable as sin for months and they were trying to field all my calls. I expect that you caught him on a bad day. I’d told them to only put emergency work ones through.” Adam’s voice was still surprised. “Cathy said that you’d been ill, that’s why you went walking on the beach the day you were cut off by the tide, but you weren’t ill were you? You had morning sickness. I didn’t know Caroline, and I certainly didn’t guess.”

She sighed deeply.
She had been the one to make most of the mistakes.

“What a pair of fools.” Caroline spoke softly now. “Why didn’t you come and speak to me when you saw me with David? And after you left the hospital. Why didn’t you call me? I thought I was going to go crazy all those weeks without you.” She looked deep into his eyes.

Adam swallowed before he spoke.

“I spent months getting my back better. I was in hospital for four weeks in that damned brace and then I was at home for what felt like ages after that.” He spoke bitterly. “I’ve only been back to work the last three weeks. Dan was my only contact and he said your flat had been sold. I assumed, quite wrongly, that you’d moved in with David.” Adam looked to his son, avoiding her gaze as his words turned bitter. “I wanted to die Caroline. And if you don’t take me back, I think I will. There’s no way I can go on without you, or without Toby now.”

He took another deep breath and turned back to her.

“Caroline, I love you.” He said simply. “I should have said it to you the night we made love. I think I have been in love with you from the moment I first saw you. You had mascara all over your face and you tried to run me over, but the way you looked at me…” He reminded her. “Will you marry me?” He was gazing into her eyes, the full force of the magnetic grey focused on her as he waited.

Her voice was filled with doubt as she replied.

“But you said that you didn’t have time for a wife. That you’re too busy. I don’t think that will have changed. I told you before, I can’t share you Adam. I only want you if it’s all of you I get, not just a tiny part.” Her voice was serious and he was silent for a second longer as he took in her words.

Adam lifted his hand and cupped her cheek gently.

“I’ve changed my mind about not wanting a wife. I want one n
ow. I want you to be my wife. And I want my family too. Nothing is going to keep me from you both.” He paused again when she didn’t answer, and then added. “I sold the business in Dubai. That’s why I had to go away in the first place.” He looked at her shocked expression and carried on. “I knew as soon as I kissed you that day when you came to see me in the site cabin that I wanted to make you mine. I knew I wanted to sell that project but I had to make sure of your feelings before I made any final decision. A lot of people were going to be out of pocket on  the deal and I couldn’t do that without being sure of you. That’s really why I came and found you at your shop the day you closed. I needed to know if you wanted me as much as I wanted you. If you did, I was selling. I’d been going mad with wanting to see you but every time I tried something to do with the development would get in the way. The thought of having to go overseas for months on end was unendurable.” His intensity was almost overpowering as he continued. “When we made love, I assumed it was the same for you. I just assumed that you loved me and that you would know I loved you. There was no way that we could have felt like that, could have made love like that and not been made for each other. I phoned the development board early the next morning while you were still sleeping, and told them immediately I wanted out of it. You were awake for the last part of the call. They were not at all happy… Caroline?” He looked at her amazed face. “Say something. Say I made the right choice… I’m begging you.”

She could hardly find her voice.

“But when you phoned from Dubai you sounded so distant, and then I made the mistake about Tricia. It’s not fair of you to have a cleaning lady who looks and sounds like that. It’s very misleading! I jumped to completely the wrong conclusion and thought that you had just used me for sex. Adam, I can’t tell you how awful I felt. The thought that you’d just wanted a quick roll in the sack and not me. It felt like I was dying inside. I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until David spotted all the symptoms weeks later. He’s got three children of his own.” She explained.

He held her hands to his lips again.

“It’s difficult to talk properly when you’re surrounded by a load of hairy builders Caroline.” His voice was becoming softer again.  “But how can you ever have thought that what we did was just sex? That’s impossible! We made the most beautiful love I’ve ever experienced. We’ve made a baby Caroline. How can you get more perfect than that?” He whispered as he leaned forwards, holding her face in his hands. “Will you marry me?” He asked again.

The tears were streaming down Caroline’s face. He brushed them away with
his finger and waited for her to answer.

She blinked up at him.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Adam. I only wish that we hadn’t wasted so much time. We could have been together for months.” She breathed through her tears.

Adam shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter; we’re together now and forever more. Nothing will ever persuade me to leave you, either of you, again.” He moved his hands to under her chin and lifted her face to his. He brought his head down further and touched his lips to hers. He felt her soft breath on his mouth and began gently moving her lips under his, until they parted and he could touch his tongue to hers. She lifted her hand up, running her fingers through his near black hair as she kissed him back, wild jolts of electricity suddenly surging through her body.

They broke apart as Toby mewed again. Adam took another look at his son.

“Hmm. Half an hour old and already calling all the shots. Do you think he’s hungry or something?” He looked back at Caroline.

“I think it must be the ‘or something’, he was fed almost as soon as he was born.” She reached over and touched her son
’s head gently.

Adam looked into the cot, but Toby was quiet again, his tiny fist waving in the air.

“The blighter. I bet he saw me kissing you and didn’t like it. Well he’s going to have to get used to it, because it’s not going to stop anytime soon.” Adam’s smile was devastating as he moved to kiss Caroline again, but he stopped as she stifled a yawn.

“Perhaps you’d better sleep while you c
an. Don’t worry. I’ll stay here and keep an eye on Toby. You just sleep and get your strength back. Everything will be fine. I’m not going anywhere.” He moved from her side, pulled up a chair and settled down in it, holding her hand as she drifted back to sleep.