Deidre's Death (#2, Rhyn Eternal) (16 page)

“Happy?” His voice was soft and low.

“Very,” she replied. “This was the best day
of my life, Gabriel.”

He laughed, the rumble of his chest causing
her to raise her head.

“Why are you laughing?” she asked
curiously.

“I guess our first night together was
subpar, if today was so much better,” he replied.

A trickle of jealousy moved through her, but
she dismissed it, unwilling to think about the woman he’d slept
with less than two weeks before. He thought it was her, and she
couldn’t tell him differently.

“I want every night to be like this,” she
proclaimed.

“I agree.”

She returned her head to his chest. Did he
still think they were dysfunctional, or was he as pleased as she
was? She loved the feel of his warm skin against hers and breathed
in his scent deeply.

“Thank you, Gabriel,” she murmured.

“For what?”

“For taking a chance on me.”

He squeezed her with his thick arms, and
again she marveled at how he managed to be gentle with her when he
was so strong. She never appreciated his strength or level of
discipline, either, before this day.

“This is a good start,” Gabriel said.

She propped her chin on his chest, unable to
see his eyes in the night.

“We’ve got a long way to go.”

“What does that mean?” she asked.

“Trust.”

“Ah.” She absently traced a hand down his
shoulder and large bicep to the roped muscles of his forearm. “But
it’s possible, right? We’ll be happy?”

“Of course.”

She’d never heard such awesome words!

“We’re kind of doing it backwards,” he said
with humor. “Normally, you build trust then sleep with
someone.”

“But we already loved each other. We’re not
starting from scratch,” she pointed out. “We’re starting in the
middle.”

“It’s still something we will work on.”
There was firmness in his tone that threatened to pull her
happiness down a notch.

“I don’t want us to change this,” she said.
“What if trust does?”

“We’ll deal with it. I won’t lose you again.
We won’t spend our nights away from one another. Ever.”

Guilt fluttered through her, making her cold
on the inside.

“You’re my mate, Deidre. I swear it on my
duty as Death. I won’t walk away from you, no matter how bad it
is,” he said softly.

She said nothing. She wasn’t certain why her
chest felt tight enough to hinder her breathing while her eyes were
watering. Why was she sad? He swore to stay with her forever, just
like she wanted him to, and she felt sorrow.

Deidre tried to sort through her emotions
and rationalize them. It was impossible. She didn’t know what to do
to return to the heady high she’d been on.

“Do you love me Gabriel?” she asked.

“It’s hard for me to respond to that,” he
replied.

“Why?”

He was quiet for a moment. One of his thumbs
stroked the small of her back as he thought. Deidre waited, needing
to know what it would take for him to love her. It was far more
important than the bet with the human, but Deidre couldn’t help
thinking about her deal and Darkyn’s threat to reveal everything to
Gabriel.

It was the fourth day of their seven-day
deal. She’d gone from hopeful to devastated in the course of the
first two days. Right now, she felt like she was on the verge of an
important break through with Gabriel. One that would result in her
capturing Gabriel’s heart and keeping her own soul.

“Because every time I start to love you, you
betray me,” he said at last.

Deidre flinched.

“I want this time to be different. I know
you have a secret and made deals with the Dark One. I’m holding my
breath, hoping none of that shit comes back to bite me,” he
continued. “I guess a better answer is that I need time to heal
before I can trust myself to love you, Deidre.”

He was right without knowing it. She had no
way of guaranteeing him that something she’d done wouldn’t return
to make them both miserable.

Like the deal she made out
of emotion with Darkyn’s mate. In three days, Darkyn may come on
behalf of his mate to collect by any means necessary. Darkyn had
been correct about the human she dumped in Hell. Human-Deidre had
no reason whatsoever
not
to give Darkyn the soul he snatched when the deal
was up.

If Gabriel didn’t fall in love with Deidre
in three days, he would be betrayed once more. This time,
permanently.

For the first time in her life, Deidre
didn’t know what to do.

“I did mean it, Gabriel,” she said in a
hushed voice. “I have always loved you.”

“I know.”

“I never meant to hurt you. Ever. I never
knew I was.”

“Oh you knew you were fucking me up,” he
replied.

“But I didn’t know what that felt like,” she
said.

“You do now?”

“Yes,” she said, tears in her eyes. “It’s
like your soul is being torn in two.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“How did you bear it for so long?”

“Because I did love you, Deidre,” he
responded. “Until you pushed me away the final time. Until you took
an innocent human and condemned her to near-death for your
selfishness. Katie didn’t deserve to have you mess with her like
you did.”

She listened, not wanting to cry or
acknowledge the level of pain she put him through for so long. She
remembered talk to Rhyn’s mate, Katie, in the underworld, trying to
understand what it was to love from a human standpoint.

“You made me choose between you and doing
what was right in the underworld when I saved Katie and her
daughter,” he continued. “I realized then you’d never understand or
accept me for who I was. You wanted to break me, Deidre, by turning
me against everything I was.”

Deidre thought back. The events he spoke of
occurred just a few months before, when Darkyn was attacking the
Immortals and before Rhyn took over the Council That Was Seven.
Once more, Gabriel was right. She recalled clearly the decision
she’d forced him to make and kicking him out of her bed, the moment
he resigned his soul to her to save his friend’s life.

Her plan had been near its finale. She was
plotting her return with a chain of events that ended with the
human that bore her likeness being turned over to Darkyn. At the
time, she had viewed it all as part of a process. Any pain she
caused was going to be short lived and quickly fixed, when she
revealed herself to Gabriel once more and told him they could be
together. Though she couldn’t recall the thousand-year process it
took to reach this very place, she knew the end results.

“
You couldn’t be Death if
I didn’t have your soul,” she said. “It was the last piece of the
puzzle. I had to have it, Gabriel. I didn’t mean to break you. I
wanted you to understand what it was like to be a deity. Human
emotion could only complicate that.”

“Human emotion … you didn’t have it before
last week. How did you know it could complicate the role of Death?
How is a sociopathic deity better at ruling the underworld than a
compassionate human?” he returned with no heat. “You always thought
my emotions were weaknesses. It was human emotion and compassion
that made me your best death dealer.”

She listened. Sometimes, she thought it made
sense. At other times, it didn’t, because her own emotions were too
hard for her to control. She couldn’t make important decisions
while wrangling her feelings. Yet Gabriel managed to. He had done
it every day he served her as her lead assassin and he was doing it
now as Death.

The reality of his stark words made her
wonder what he would’ve done in the same situation. What if he
couldn’t have been with her unless he gave up his underworld and
power? Would he have taken a similar course?

“What would you do?” she asked. “I mean, if
you had to choose between me and your world?”

“I did choose you. Every day, Deidre. Even
after you rejected me,” he replied. “Until you took my soul a few
months ago, I was there because I loved you and for no other
reason. I could’ve walked away at any time. I would’ve spent every
day with you, if you hadn’t done what you did.”

Her tears rose again. He was serious. He did
love her. But no longer, because she’d been trying to make sure she
never lost him. How much easier would it have been, if she simply
accepted his love and walked away from the underworld? They
could’ve both gone somewhere else entirely, wherever they wanted to
go, without the underworld crumbling or the pain Gabriel was
in.

The pain
she
was in or the
situation where she might lose her soul in three days.

“I wish you could’ve told me this long ago,”
she said.

“You didn’t have the ability to understand.”
His voice was gentler.

“Is it too late?” she asked. “Can you ever
love me again?”

“I just need time, Deidre.” He raised his
hand to her face. She closed her eyes as he brushed away her tears.
“You’re my mate. Everything that’s mine is yours. My heart, I can’t
vouch for. I’ve gotta heal first.”

“I understand.” And she did, clearly enough
that she felt the pain of her heart aching once more. “Is there
anything I can do?”

“You know what.”

Trust.

She was beginning to hate the word. Though
she didn’t want to in front of him, Deidre started crying.

“Gods, woman,” he said with a grunt. “Don’t
start that shit. This is the first time we’ve had an honest
discussion in about a million years.” He nudged her off him and
onto her side then wrapped his arms around her and held her against
him.

No words would come. Deidre sobbed, suddenly
wishing she could go back and change whatever it was she did to
start this chain of events. In three days time, she’d not only lose
her soul, she’d lose Gabriel, too, this time for good.

The only thing that was clear was that her
soul was lost. Before she went, she owed him the truth. But not
tonight. Tonight, she’d take comfort in the arms of the only man
she ever loved.

Gabriel left his sleeping mate in her bed
with a lingering glance. Her slender frame was relaxed, her
breathing deep and peaceful. His skin smelled of her, and he
breathed it in, loving her scent. He wasn’t entirely certain what
to think about last night, but he felt like he’d gotten somewhere.
They’d taken a step together towards their future by talking openly
on topics he never thought he’d be able to bring up.

She made love to him as if she’d waited her
life for the moment. She cried as if she was losing him.

He didn’t know what that meant or even if it
was a possibility that she would one day trust him enough to tell
him what was burdening her. He came to the conclusion that she,
too, needed time to heal. Her own journey to reach this point
hadn’t been easy. She was hurting, even if he didn’t know why.

He dressed then slid out of the room. It was
just after dawn, and the fortress was silent. He walked down the
hallway to the stairwell and down. He felt good after the night
with his mate, and it was too nice outside to take a portal when he
had the energy to walk.

The morning air was crisp and cool. Gabriel
was halfway to the lake when Darkyn spoke to him.

Available at your convenience.

Gabriel almost stopped mid-step, having
forgotten he contacted the Dark One yesterday. He considered
cancelling the meeting. Deidre would trust him in time, and he
didn’t want to break the thin bridge of trust they’d established
last night.

Then again, if she owed any sort of debt to
Darkyn, Gabriel wasn’t about to be caught off guard. He also wasn’t
going to let the Dark One hurt or threaten or even talk to his mate
ever again. Meeting the Dark One so close to the fortress, then,
was not an option.

After a moment, he
responded to Darkyn.
Deidre’s old
apartment. Five minutes.

Gabriel trotted first to the lake, curious
to see how last night had gone now that they knew about the tears.
The lake was placid. A few of Rhyn’s Immortals were sparring on one
bank under the watchful gaze of one of the death dealers.

Gabriel waved the dealer over.

“Update on the tears,” he directed.

“All five are sealed. Landon issued orders
to the dealers last night to seal the others in the lakes where we
found the souls originally. They’ll be back to collecting souls by
noon,” the dealer reported.

“Excellent.” He glanced
around the lake. When he didn’t sense the dealer he sought, he
summoned him silently.
Landon.