Degrees of Wrong (32 page)

“It takes getting used to,” Nicoli agreed.

“She has a bit of a temper, doesn’t she?”

“You cannot really know.” Nicoli grinned. “Uh, Elyse, you might want to take it easy on the—”

“I’m fine.” Still, I did put the glass down. And then I moved it away from my hand. I looked at the two men, who smiled at each other like fools.

“Are you two really brothers?” I asked. “You look nothing alike.” The only thing they had in common was their muscular build. Oh, and they were both devastatingly good looking. Everything else, though, contrasted outrageously.

Nicoli said, “Ryon was adopted,” at the same time Ryon said, “Nicoli is the ugly stepchild.” And then they laughed.

Yep, definitely brothers.

“Ryon gets his blond hair and blue eyes from our mother. She’s an American,” Nicoli said. “His ego comes from our father though.”

“And Nicoli gets his black hair and sultry olive skin from our father, the Egyptian,” Ryon chimed in smugly. “And his feminine tendencies come from our mother.”

I giggled, and Nicoli winked at me.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Ryon told Nicoli. “Your father has asked me to relay a message to you. He would like very much for you to set a date for the wedding. He is also a little perturbed that you cannot be reached lately. He said he doubts you would enjoy a visit. He also said it with that face he makes when he’s serious.”

I stiffened at the mention of Nicoli’s impending wedding.

“You…you haven’t set a date yet?” I asked in a near whisper. He was already looking at me.

“No, I have not.” And then to Ryon, “You may tell
your
father that it is my wedding, and that I will set a date when I am ready.”

Ryon smiled excitedly. “Do you mind if I choose my own wording when I tell him?”

Nicoli shrugged. “You have to limit the use of expletives to three.”

His younger brother was disappointed. “I’ll make do, I guess,” he said sullenly. Then he perked up. “You know, at this rate, Elyse and I will be married before you will.”

Nicoli’s jaw tensed, and I could tell a nerve had been struck. Ryon took my hand in his, stroking it with his fingertips.

“We could elope tonight, if you wanted to,” he told me conspiratorially. His blue eyes shone with pure mischief, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Nicoli cleared his throat. Loudly. Twice. “Ryon, if I had known you were going to assault Dr. Morgan, I wouldn’t have brought her. The only reason I did was because I was under the impression you were saving yourself for your mystery woman, saint that you are.”

Ryon smiled at him wickedly. “You couldn’t have known that
she
was my mystery woman. I still can’t believe you’re here,” he said to me. “I still remember that day so clearly. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.”

“You can’t be serious. I was a mess. I was covered in dirt, grime and blood. And my hair. Ugh!” I still didn’t want to know what that had looked like.

“Beautiful,” he said again. “Those green eyes—I dream about them every night.”

I hoped my cheeks were already red with the scotch because I knew they would be blushing on their own right now. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nicoli run a frustrated hand through his hair.

Then I remembered Ryon’s medical chart, and the importance of not adding to it tonight.

And suddenly, I felt I was being punished for wearing the white dress.

“Uh, Ryon, I’m flattered, but…I’m not sure I could satisfy your…ambitious personality,” I said delicately.

He snorted. “So, my reputation precedes me, does it?” He glared at Nicoli. “You gossip like an old lady.”

“I prefer to call it ‘briefing’,” Nicoli answered, shrugging.

Ryon turned to me, his blue eyes burning with the intent to melt my resolve. I could tell his extensive experience went into the focused gaze.

And it had no effect on me. Not with Nicoli Marek within arm’s reach.

“I’ve sworn off all other women since that day, without even knowing your name or if I would ever see you again. That has to count for
something
,” he said. “And as far as you being able to satisfy me…” he added huskily.

“Ryon,” Nicoli growled. “I’m going to have to ask you to take your hands off Dr. Morgan.”

“You can ask,” he replied without tearing his gaze away from me.

“Ryon,” Nicoli said again, louder this time. “Get your damn hands off Elyse.”

This got his attention. He snapped his head toward his brother, though he did release my hand. “Why should you care, Nicoli?”

Yes, Nicoli, let’s hear it, by all means.

He didn’t falter in his reply. “There was a reason Ralph entrusted her safety to me instead of you, Ryon. If you feel this was done in error, you can take that up with him. As it stands though, she’s my responsibility. And if she’s my responsibility, you won’t be touching her. You can schedule a play date for another time.”

He was going to pay for that.

Ryon scowled at his older brother. “Yes, that’s another thing,” he said sourly. “Ralph. He knew where she was the entire time and didn’t tell me. He knew how I felt about her.” He turned to me and grinned. “And did…did you send me a
bill
?”

I nodded, and he threw his head back in laughter. Even Nicoli snickered.

“You are definitely the woman for me.” Ryon shook his head.

Nicoli stopped laughing.

“I would suggest we have a double wedding with Nicoli and Inga, but if we wait around for that, we’ll never get married,” Ryon carried on.

Inga
. The anonymous woman now had a name. Inga. And she was beautiful, as Dr. Folsom had pointed out so long ago. Nicoli had a beautiful fiancée named Inga.

Nicoli stared at me, his eyes full of unease as he, no doubt, tried to discern my thoughts. I looked away from him.

“Our children could play together,” Ryon was saying. My gut wrenched with the thought of Nicoli having children with the glorious Inga, of his hands being on her in that way—

“Ryon—” Nicoli tried to interject. His brother didn’t notice.

“The four of us could vacation all over the world, as a family. Remember when we used to go to Japan, Nicoli? Oh, but they’re not still upset over your little stunt there, are they? You’re not still banned from the country—”

“No,” Nicoli said curtly. “Ryon—”

“Good. Oh, you’ll really like Inga, Elyse. She’s not as gorgeous as you, of course, and not as witty either, but she’s quiet, and not so self-important as some of these other—”

“Ryon!” Nicoli pounded his fist against the table. The action lowered the decibels of the conversation around us, and I could feel curious glances reflected off my back.

Ryon stopped and stared at his brother. “What?”

But the damage had been done. No, no, that wasn’t fair. The damage had been done a very long time ago, when I decided it would be okay to get close to this man, knowing I would never be able to act on my feelings for him. My stomach twisted, realizing the full pain of the consequences.

That I hadn’t
physically
violated the pact of their engagement did not make me feel better. I could see by the expression on Nicoli’s face that I violated it in every other way. I had betrayed—by Ryon’s accounting of her—a very likeable, very
real
woman, with real feelings.

I looked at Nicoli, knowing my turmoil was barely masked. What I had to do would hurt us both.

I smiled weakly at Ryon, amid the wounds still entrenching themselves on my heart. “You have a wild imagination, Ryon,” I teased. “But you don’t even know me. What if I snore? What if I drool in my sleep? How could you live with that?”

“Who said anything about sleeping?” He grinned at me. “Also, I’m such an ass for not mentioning it sooner, but that dress is—”

“Ryon,” Nicoli growled, but apparently Ryon hadn’t meant to finish his compliment anyway. And there was no need. I could see in his eyes how he felt about my dress. I was definitely being punished.

“I’m not saying
no
,” I lied. “I’m just saying, maybe we ought to wait until my life isn’t constantly being threatened, and we can look at this more objectively.”

Yeah, because objectivity is my specialty.

“So,” he said. “
That’s
what it feels like to be rejected. Tonight is full of firsts for me.”

“I’m sure you’ll adjust,” Nicoli ground out.

“What else
can
I do?” Ryon smiled at his brother, then winked at me. He seemed oblivious to the tension between me and Nicoli. “Hey, when’s the last time you talked to Amisiri?” he asked Nicoli.

They spent the rest of the evening catching up with family business. If the reality that my hopes and dreams were now dashed into pieces—then twisted cruelly into the nightmare I now called life—hadn’t dominated my thoughts, I would have enjoyed the evening immensely. The two bantered and picked at each other in their brotherly affection, saturating the atmosphere with what seemed like an inexhaustible supply of testosterone, pride and wisecracks.

Nicoli continued to throw concerned glances in my direction as I pushed around the food on my plate. I tried to eat and to drink plenty of water—I needed to reverse any effects the alcohol might still have on my wits.

Because I would need all of them for what I had to do on the ride home.

It took me more than half the trip home to get up the courage to say what needed to be said. I fidgeted in my seat and stared out at the darkness encompassing the pod. I was grateful that we had already changed into our uniforms. Somehow I felt our dinner attire would have been a threat to the already intimate turn I knew the conversation ahead would take.

I inhaled deeply. “In the morning, I’m requesting that I be transferred to a different ship to finish my research.”

Chapter Fifteen

He stiffened, his jaw tightening as it always did. He cursed under his breath. “My brother is an idiot.”

Although that particular response was unexpected, I knew what he meant when he said it. “Your brother just pointed out the obvious.”

“Don’t do this.” He stopped the pod and turned to face me. “Please don’t do this.”

“Why? Because you haven’t won the challenge yet? Oh, you can be assured that you won
that
, Nicoli Marek. I forfeit. I am
far
from impervious to you. Congratulations. You can leave me alone now.” Despite my anger, I felt relieved in having said it.

“It was never about any damn challenge,” he ground out, closing his eyes. “I wanted you. It was always about
you
. If you don’t come with winning the challenge, then it isn’t a win at all.”

“Then it isn’t a win. I told you from the very beginning that I wouldn’t be the other woman.
Why
would I commit my life to a man who has committed his life to someone else?” Aside from the fact that I was completely and irreversibly in love with him.

“It wouldn’t have to be like that, Elyse. There isn’t anything that I couldn’t give you. There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you. You would be my life. You already are.”

“Will you listen to yourself? You can’t hear how extraordinary it sounds?” I fought the tears that were pooling because of his admission.

He groaned and massaged his temples.

“What if she wants children?” I asked. His head snapped toward me. “I’m sure I don’t have to explain the science behind the miracle of life, Nicoli. I’m equally as sure your father will not be entrusting the family heritage to the obscurity of your brother’s indiscretions.”

He stared at me in a way which suggested he might not have thought of that. He regarded me for a long time, his eyes full of torment. “My hands are tied.”

“So are mine,” I insisted. “You’re asking me to change who I am. I can’t do that. I’ve lost everything a person can lose. I can’t give up who I am too. It’s the only thing I have left.”

He exhaled sharply and ran his hand through his hair again. “
Please
. Please don’t do this.”

“Nicoli,” I whispered. “Imagine that the tables were turned. Imagine that
you
had to share
me
with another man. Imagine that he wanted a family. Could you do it? Could you sleep alone, wondering if I was in his arms—?”

“
Enough
.”

I knew I’d made my mark. We sat in silence for a long time.

“Set a date. And let me transfer,” I pleaded softly.

“I won’t bother you with it again.” He started the pod, and we headed for the
Bellator
.

He lifted me out of the transport pod, staring down at me, defeated as he wiped the tears from my face with the crook of his finger. I gently pushed his hand away and pulled my other arm from his grasp. I headed for the door, ready for the comfort of a long, hot shower and a soft pillow to cry on. I had already decided to save packing for the morning.

Suddenly, his huge hand caught my wrist and whirled me around. I could see the determination in his eyes, could see that his misery had turned into something else. I tried to wrench free from his grip, but it only served to make him tighten his hold. I opened my mouth to protest, but he stifled it with his hand. I stared at him wide-eyed as his intent became clear, and I tried harder to wriggle away.